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Fighting Redemption: A Small Town Romantic Suspense (Texas SWAT Book 1) by Sidney Bristol (19)

JENNA PACED AROUND the cabin listening to the shower. Anything could be out there in the darkness. Though her brain knew they were way off the beaten path, she couldn’t help but fret. The stalker had found her jogging down a street she’d never been on. Was it crazy to think he could be here, too?

The shower turned off, plunging the cabin into silence. Well, almost silence. Mittens sprawled on the sofa licking himself and Genghis lay near the front door watching her. The dog had picked up on her anxious state of mind and every so often he whined.

“Sorry, boy,” she muttered.

Jenna had been calmer, less anxious since Alex’s arrival in her personal life, but with him came more questions. What was it Trevor wanted her to know? And what was so awful he wouldn’t tell her himself? The way people gossiped if it was worth hearing someone would have already said something to her by now. Wouldn’t they?

Alex had always been the stalwart leader. The man she could trust. Whatever skeleton was in his closet, it couldn’t be that bad.

Could it?

“You’re still awake.”

Jenna turned toward the bathroom. Alex had a towel around his hips and rubbed his hair dry with another.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked.

“Thought you might be tired, is all.”

“I am, but I’m not going to sleep.”

Alex tossed the towel behind him and strode across the cabin. His bare feet left watery footprints in his wake.

“You’re safe here. Nothing is going to happen to you,” he said.

“I know...”

At least Alex, Trevor and the others wanted her to believe that. If combat had taught her anything, it was that plans made excellent kindling. They could say all the things they wanted, but they couldn’t control what would happen.

“Trevor should be at the hospital now. They’re going to compile a list of every call you’ve gone on in the last year and start from there. We’ll have a name soon enough.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her to his chest. He smelled of soap and comfort.

“Trevor said there was something I should ask you.” She peered up into his eyes, praying the truth wasn’t something she couldn’t forgive.

“What’s that?” His tone was light, but there was a shadow that moved across his face. Some memory that darkened his mood.

“I don’t know.” Obsessing about his secrets was the only thing that could take her mind off her problems.

“How the hell am I supposed to answer a question you don’t know?” Alex leaned back and frowned.

“He said it like you’d know what he meant.” She shrugged.

“Well I don’t know what to tell you. How’s your head?”

“It still hurts.” She wrinkled her nose and the drumbeat in her skull sped up.

“I’d feel a lot better if you got checked out.”

“I’m fine. It’s mostly stress, anyway.”

Alex kissed her temple, a barely there brush of skin to skin. She smiled and tilted her head to the side, offering him her cheek and then her mouth. Kissing Alex was never going to get old. She curled her toes into the rug and leaned into him, relishing the feel of all that muscle under her palms.

“You know...” She tilted her head back, new ideas taking root. “I heard there was a study about how sex cures headaches and is a great stress reliever.”

“What do you think?” His lips continued to coast over her face and down her neck. “Is that junk science, doc, or is there something behind it?”

“Sex releases endorphins and decreases stress—generally speaking.”

This was really happening. Alex Myers was kissing her, wearing nothing but water and a towel. She’d dreamed about this for so long, wanted him so very badly, that it was hard to believe her senses. She curled her fingers around his neck and sighed.

He was real.

“That so?” he whispered.

Her shiver was very real.

Alex bent and slung an arm around her, lifting her easily. She shifted, wrapping her legs around his hips and clinging to his shoulders. His mouth landed on hers, his tongue teasing her lips. Her insides went soft and gooey. She was such a goner when it came to Alex. She’d wanted him, pined for him and by some twisted stroke of fate, he’d been with her, rowing the same boat. He’d worn down her weak defenses in one kiss. If he wanted her, he had her any way he chose. She was his to her core.

He set her down on the sturdy, wooden table she’d wiped clean not even an hour ago, his mouth never once leaving hers. She slid her hands down his chest, over his abs and traced the deep V marks at his hips. He held her face with both hands, his touch so gentle, so different from the man she’d thought she knew. Under the gruff, team leader exterior, he was more than she’d expected. She hooked her fingers in the towel and tugged. It didn’t take much to loosen the fabric from around his hips and let it fall to the floor.

Alex didn’t seem to notice the loss of clothing, he just went right on making love to her mouth. His hands curled into her hair as the kiss went on as if he were made for nothing more than this one act.

He pushed her bra up over her breasts. When had he let go of her face? That detail wasn’t as important when he gently grasped both nipples between his fingers and tugged. She gasped, breaking the kiss and leaned her head back.

“How’s your head?”

“Head? What head?” She grasped her shirt and bra, not bothering with the catch, and pulled both off. There was no way to tell if the pulsating sensation radiating through her body was pain or lust. Maybe a combination of the two.

Alex chuckled and grabbed the waistband of her shorts and panties. She lifted her hips, allowing him to pull the last bits of clothing down her legs. When she managed to lift her head, all she saw was Alex’s head and shoulders. Her stomach fluttered at the sight of him on his knees, staring at her.

She could hear his voice in her head saying, Watch me.

Her cheeks heated. Last time he’d told her to do that he’d rocked her world with his mouth. She’d never had a partner treat her so thoroughly.

Alex hummed, as if he could sense her compliance without words. Did he know her that well already?

He leaned forward, inserting his big body between her legs and captured her thighs with his arms. She bent, kissing him, drinking him in.

“Lean back,” he said against her mouth.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“You really like ordering people around, don’t you?”

“I’m good at it.”

She grinned.

Yes, he was.

Jenna leaned back on her elbows, her legs dangling off the side. There was something almost devilish about the way he watched her. As if he knew he was about to get his evil way with her. She refused to look away, even as the temperature spiked.

Alex’s gaze traveled over her body, touching deeper than her skin. She was in way over her head with him, and she didn’t want to turn back. Her life might be a wreck, but he was something good.

He slid a single finger into her without warning. She gasped and gripped the sides of the small table. He withdrew the digit, and she watched as he licked it. Part of her was horrified, the other part wanted him to do it again.

“You look like you want to say something.” Alex’s stare was so intent, she hardly didn’t dare to breathe.

Jenna shook her head.

“Last chance.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her thigh.

Was he going to do that to her again? The licking part?

“Would you rather just go to sleep?” he asked.

“No!”

“Then what were you going to say?”

“You are evil and sadistic.”

Alex merely chuckled.

What was it with Mr. Strong and Silent wanting to chat with her lady bits in his face?

“I really want sex.” She’d never been one to deny her sexual nature, but there was sex, and then there was sex with Alex. Two completely different experiences, and not because his dick was big. It was him. This crazy connection they’d tried and fought to extinguish.

“Yeah?” He kissed the other leg. The bastard was enjoying teasing her.

“Do the thing with your mouth first?”

Her body tensed at the request. Guys didn’t like going down on women, right? It was a thing. A fluke that had happened once, he wouldn’t do it again. Right?

“That it?” he asked as if it were no big deal.

“Yes, sir.” She threw in a little salute for bravado she wasn’t feeling.

He hadn’t said yes, yet.

Alex lowered his face and his gaze flicked down. She held her breath, the silent command keeping her from closing her eyes. His touch against the tender skin at the apex of her thighs startled her.

“Relax,” he whispered as he bent his head. “You like this, remember?”

The lower portion of his face was hidden, but she felt him. His tongue licked through her folds and up over her clit, sending a near electric current surging through her.

“Oh my—Alex!”

He gripped her legs, pushing them open wider. His mouth sealed over her pussy and his tongue rubbed against her. Inside of her.

Her muscles gave out, and she lay back on the table, surrendering herself to the feel of him. His hands slid around to grip her ass while he thrust into her. She curled one leg over his shoulder, the need to touch him driving her.

He added two fingers, sliding them deeper. The flat of his tongue rubbed against her clit. She arched her back off the table and curled one hand over her breast. Need hummed deep inside her. He circled her clit with the tip of his tongue, pushing the delicate hood back farther with each pass. Incoherent sounds poured from her lips. She covered both breasts, swiping her thumbs over her nipples, seeking more sensation.

She groaned his name as the orgasm propelled her into a state of bliss. She lay on the table, boneless and spent.

Alex eased out of her and gently arranged her legs so she wouldn’t roll onto the floor. She peered up at him, her heart twinging at the smile on his face.

Damn, he was a sexy man.

He scooped her up and carried her to the queen bed set into one corner of the cabin. Their accommodations were sparse, yet comfortable.

Alex spooned her, his erection tucked up against her ass. He made no move to kiss or touch her, just held her. The man was a damn saint in her book.

God, she loved him.

Those words were dangerous though. They’d agreed to see where things went, to take it slow, and here she was charging in with all her feelings. If things went sideways, and she lost him, she didn’t want to regret a minute of being with him.

Jenna turned in his arms, wiggling around until she faced him.

“Go to sleep.” His voice had that low, rough quality. The kind that said he wanted to do everything—but go to sleep.

“Not yet.” She hooked her leg over his hip and kissed him.

His muscles bunched and tensed under her touch, evidence that he was holding back. Because he thought she was hurt? For her benefit?

“I still want you.” She wrapped her hand around his cock and pumped.

He groaned.

“Condom?”

“My bag.”

He rolled away from her and snagged his bag from beside the bed. The strip of condoms was a welcomed sight. Man, she liked a guy who thought ahead.

Jenna pushed him onto his back and straddled his thighs.

Alex, naked, was a wonderful sight. She hated the scars, the number of times he’d been in danger, but each one was a badge of honor.

He rolled the condom on and grasped her hips. She pushed his hands aside. His controlling nature could take a back seat this time.

“You put your hands on the headboard.” She grinned at his frown.

For a moment she thought he might deny her, but he grasped the rough hewn slats that made up the headboard and flexed. The veins bulged out and his lips thinned.

Oh, man.

She grasped his cock and held it while she lowered herself onto him.

Her already slick sex made the penetration easy though her sore muscles protested just enough to remind her this was new.

“Damn,” Alex muttered.

Her bottom brushed his thighs. She squeezed him with her internal muscles, adjusting to the feel of him inside of her.

Jenna planted one hand on his chest and rocked, back and forth. He thrust up to meet her. He dug his hands into her hair, pulling her down for a deep kiss.

She exploded into a million little pieces, each one with his name written on them.

Alex flipped her over onto her back and drove deeper. The bed rocked under them and the headboard banged against the wall with each thrust.

“Yes!”  She fisted the sheets as her body wound tight once more.

Again and again he surged into her.

His motions became jerky. His orgasm had to be close. She pushed up, seeking just a little more friction.

There!

Jenna and Alex’s groans grew intertwined as he kissed her, flexing his hips as he drew out her orgasm a few seconds longer. At long last he lay over her, both of them spent in body. Her mind whirled a hundred miles an hour.

How could sex be so good?

She clutched him to her chest when he tried to move, not ready yet to be separated from him. He laid his head in the crook of her neck and they remained intertwined like that for several minutes. Neither talking.

Damn, but she was a goner.

“Let me up?” Alex muttered. He sounded exhausted, and why wouldn’t he be? After the last few days he had to be ready to drop. “You want the bathroom first?”

“No, go ahead.” Jenna snagged the sheet and pulled it up over her.

He was ready to drop. It was written in the lines of his face and the slump of his shoulders. She, on the other hand, was just getting wound up.

Jenna listened to him move around in the bathroom for a few moments before she got up and turned off the lights in the cabin. He wordlessly emerged and practically face planted on the mattress, proving just how little he had left right now.

She bullied him under the covers before retreating to the bathroom to essentially waste time.

There would be no sleep for her tonight, and not just because she finally knew the stalker wasn’t in her imagination.

What was she doing with Alex? Where were they headed? She’d wanted this for so long, now her fears were in how to keep it, if she could. There was always the chance Alex wouldn’t like the reality of her life, who she was off the job. Everything she learned about him out of uniform was even better, but it might not be the same for him.

Trevor had spoken as if there were secrets she needed to know. What was he talking about? And was it her imagination, or had he avoided the question?

She climbed into bed for lack of anything better to do and lay next to Alex’s sleeping form. It was enough to have him there, next to her. So long as he watched over her, everything would be okay.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

The dream was back but this time there was no lead-in. It was time.

“Coming,” Alex called out. His voice was different in the dream, a little watery, not quite as deep. It was him—and not him.

His stomach tied in knots. He couldn’t stop it. His fate was preordained. Nothing he did changed it no matter what he tried.

The wood floor thudded under foot as he crossed into the living room and grabbed his service belt.

Nothing good happened at this hour in Detroit.

Alex slung the belt around his hips and drew his Glock. It was a precaution he’d started ever since the rookie was killed last year in his own living room. Alex didn’t answer the door for just anyone these days, but what if someone needed help? The people up and down his street knew him. He made a point of telling them to keep him in the loop if anything bad ever happened.

He stared at the door.

This was it.

The same nightmare all over again.

Knowing it was all in his head didn’t make it any better. It was as real and visceral as when it happened.

He’d been groggy when he woke up, curious but not too suspicious of the light knocks, but on the inside—he knew. He knew what was going to happen again. And he couldn’t stop it. The dream always ended the same.

He put one foot in front of the other.

Might as well get it over with.

The Glock was an unfamiliar weight in his left hand. He didn’t shoot with his left, hell, he couldn’t aim but it wasn’t like he wanted to hurt anyone. It was a just in case kind of precaution.

No, no, no. Stop. Turn around! Don’t open that God damned door!

He screamed at his dream-self, railing against what was about to happen. What he was going to do again, the same way he’d done it a hundred times in his dreams.

Alex stepped into the entry and reached for the lock.

It turned easily, ever since he’d replaced it.

The door swung inward. The porch light cast a semi-circle of illumination. A slight figure stood on the first step of his stoop, hood drawn up, a cap shielding his face, but Alex still saw the shock of blond hair.

A kid. A boy, maybe twelve or thirteen years old, by his estimation. Not a threat at all.

At least, not until Alex saw the gun.

These seconds were a blur, yet in the dream they stretched out for a lifetime.

Alex’s body reacted on instinct. He dodged as the child’s arm lifted and brought up his own arm. The boy fired, the bullet ripping through Alex’s left shoulder. He squeezed the trigger, and the blast startled him.

He hadn’t meant to fire. Between getting shot and losing his balance he’d squeezed.

Alex hit the floor, rolling onto his back, pushing up against the entry wall, gun raised—but the boy didn’t fire again. Alex didn’t even see him.

One breath.

Two.

The pain hadn’t hit him yet, but it was going to.

Nothing happened.

Alex scrambled to his feet. Blood poured down his left arm and his shirt stuck to his skin. He put the gun into his right hand and crossed to the entry, peering out. Adrenaline and time dulled the pain, but the scar still ached.

The boy lay on the sidewalk.

He didn’t move.

Alex hadn’t meant to shoot the kid.

He rushed down the stairs.

“No, no, no!” The tears splashed his cheeks.

“Alex—Alex wake up!”

He opened his eyes and blinked as his vision adjusted to the darkness.

It wasn’t his street in Detroit. There weren’t cars going by or street lights shining through the open windows. He was in Texas—and the shooting was almost a decade ago.

Alex blew out a breath and wiped a hand across his brow.

A wet, cold canine nose pressed against his shoulder. Genghis had stood watch over dozens of nights just like this one. He whined and Alex rubbed his knuckles over the dog’s head.

“Hey.” Jenna crouched next to him on the bed.

“Hey.” His voice was hoarse, as if he’d been yelling.

She wrapped her arms around him and pressed herself to his back, offering him what comfort she could. He dreaded the questions. Damn Trevor couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Alex had to find the right time to explain it to her, to make her understand he hadn’t meant to shoot the kid. It was an accident.

“You were yelling,” she whispered.

Well there was the confirmation of his suspicion.

“Sorry.” He patted her hand.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No. I’m going to get some water.” He nudged Genghis away and threw back the covers.

Jenna released him and scooted back on the bed. He crossed to the kitchen, his faithful dog following him the dozen or so steps, and poured himself a glass. The cool air from the ceiling fan chilled the sweat slicking his body.

He could still see the kid’s face, feel the blood splattered on his skin and the condemnation of a whole city.

It’d been an accident, one that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

He poured the last of the water over his head and knelt next to Genghis, taking a few moments to scratch and mutter incoherent words, offering what apology he could. The whole time he felt Jenna’s watchful gaze on him.

She deserved answers.

But not tonight.

Exhausted and spent, he returned to bed and plopped down on the mattress.

Jenna seemed to sense his reluctance to talk and didn’t ask him any more questions. He was going to have to tell her, and what then? He wasn’t ready for her to know about that part of his past.

“I know what it’s like to have bad dreams.” She laid her cheek against his chest and squeezed him.

“It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”

They both knew he was lying. A guy didn’t yell and sweat buckets in his sleep for nothing.

Jenna didn’t try to get him to speak again. There was an invisible wedge between them now, one he’d put there, but he wasn’t ready for her to see him as a kid killing cop. It’d taken the people of Ransom years to get over that, now to have to start over again with her, to have Jenna look at him like a monster, he couldn’t do it. Not right now. Not after that dream.

He kissed the top of her head and stared up at the ceiling. When this stalker business was over, he’d tell her then.

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