JENNA FIDGETED, TWISTING her bracelet around and around her wrist. The waiting area for Police Chief Sam Taylor was near silent, save for the occasional murmur of voices from inside the office.

“Stop.” Alex covered her hands with one of his.

“I can’t help it,” she muttered. She did her best to relax, but it was a lost cause.

Yesterday that gesture would have comforted her. Today she tensed at the touch. How could he say it was going to be okay when he was hiding things from her? They barely knew each other and this relationship, or whatever it was, was still new. It was ridiculous to think that they’d compare skeletons and closets, but he already knew the worst things about her. What could have happened that she couldn’t forgive him for? Or what nightmare haunted him?

She could Google it. If the whole town knew, if it was the kind of thing that made Trevor hesitant about her with Alex, it was probably easy to find out. But she wanted to hear it from Alex.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Jenna leaned toward Alex and let him thread their fingers together. She still wanted him, there were feelings she couldn’t ignore, but his adamant refusal to confide in her hurt more than she could explain.

“Us.”

“Thanks.” She rolled her eyes.

Sam’s assistant breezed in, a fresh stack of print outs in hand and several thick envelopes on top of that.

“Jenna, right?” She plucked the topmost envelope from the stack and peered at it.

“Yeah...”

“Here. Hospital sent this over for you this morning.”

“Thanks.” Jenna crossed to the desk and took the manila envelope marked Internal. What the hell was this? And why would anyone need to send something to her here?

The office door swung inward and Sam Taylor filled the space. In jeans, boots and a cowboy hat he fit the stereotype of the small town cop to a T.

“Sorry to keep you two waiting.” Sam stood back and waved them in.

Jenna stuffed the envelope into her bag and hurried into the office. Two men in slacks and polo’s sat at a small conference table at one end of the room, while the chief’s desk and more chairs sat at the other end.

“Have a seat.” Sam stuck his head out and said something to his assistant, leaving Jenna and Alex to fend for themselves.

Alex crossed to the two men and shook their hands, addressing each by name, while she hung back, anxious and uncertain.

“This is Jenna.” Alex swept his arm out and curled his fingers beckoning her closer. “Jenna, meet Danny Masters and Felipe Munoz, they’re IA.”

Both Danny and Felipe stood and shook her hand in turn. They smiled, and the vibe was decidedly friendly, unlike the condemnation and skeptical glances she’d been subjected to on the walk of shame into the building.

“Hi. I’ve seen you guys around.”

“Thankfully not too often. Sit, please.” Felipe eased back into the chair across from her.

“What’s the verdict?” Alex asked.

“We’ll wait for Sam for the particulars.” Danny smiled, lips tight.

“We’re most concerned about Jenna’s safety. The rest is all red tape, crossing t’s and dotting i’s.” Felipe fiddled with his pen. The page in front of him had a few lines of curling script she couldn’t make heads or tails of.

“Alright.” Sam sat down and slid a pair of glasses on. He peered at Alex over the rims, tilting his chin down until she had to wonder why he bothered putting them on in the first place. “Mike can’t make it, he’s covering your patrol today, but we talked and we’re in agreement.”

“About what?” Alex was on the offensive despite his urging her to relax.

“Let me get this out before you protest anything, okay?” Sam clicked his pen several times. Not exactly a calming gesture. He stared at Alex, the veil of good ‘ol boy charm parting to reveal the shrewd cop beneath.

“Okay,” Alex said slowly.

“For right now we are putting you on administrative leave. In part, because Felipe and Danny here need to do their thing, and also because you can do us all a favor and keep Jenna here safe.” Sam’s gaze flicked to her, and he smiled. He wasn’t a bad guy, he was pretty nice, it was just a shitty situation. “We protect our own. The hospital staff was very concerned about you.”

“Thanks.” If the messages waiting on her phone were any indication, he was right.

“What’s your thing?” Alex shifted in his seat and glanced between Felipe and Danny.

Jenna had never seen him so fidget this much or uneasy. What didn’t she know?

“Nothing bad,” Felipe said with an easy smile. “We have to talk about the department regulations.”

“You don’t want Jenna and I dating,” Alex said.

“That’s not what I said, Alex.” Felipe held up a hand, pen laced between his fingers.

“But that’s the gist of it.”

“No one is telling you who you can and cannot date.” Sam spread his hand and leaned forward on his elbows.

“But, I’m not even a police employee.” As soon as she spoke Jenna wished she could crawl under the table. Four sets of very discerning eyes turned on her. “I get it, it’s a loop hole, but it’s the truth.”

“I can understand how you’d see it that way,” Felipe said quickly, “but by our standards you are a department employee because you represent us when you’re working with SWAT.”

“We pay the hospital, the hospital pays you.” Sam spread his hands. “Ransom isn’t big enough to bend the rules, yet. We can’t afford to make allowances.”

“SWAT can’t lose Jenna.” Alex’s frown was so hard it threatened to split his face.

“Alex—don’t.” There was no way of knowing if he’d get the Ft Worth position or what other opportunities might come his way. He couldn’t give up SWAT, not yet. “Alex should be the one to stay. He coordinates everything and the guys all trust him.”

“The other medics don’t have her calm under fire.”

“The only reason they aren’t is because I take the bulk of the SWAT gigs. They’ll get better.”

“Guys.” Felipe sat back in his chair. “We can see both sides. That’s not the issue.”

“You can make this easy, though.” Sam dropped his pen. “If you chose to separate, we can pretend this never happened.”

“Next option?” Alex’s voice was frigid.

“Just pointing out the options.” Sam held up his hands.

“What we’re proposing is to keep Jenna and you on SWAT, but working different shifts,” Felipe said.

It was the most reasonable solution Jenna could have hoped for, but she knew Alex wasn’t going to like it.

“What are you doing about finding Jenna’s stalker?” Alex crossed his arms, belligerent written all over him.

“I spoke to Trevor earlier.” Sam pulled out his phone and jabbed the screen, frowning at the chicken scratch that passed for his handwriting. “He’s coordinating with the hospital this morning, getting the list of calls Jenna went out on narrowed down. The other EMTs recalled some more details about the bird house you described and are trying to help thin the pool. I’d say we could have a list to start working from by noon.”

“Good.”

“I’d suggest that for now, the two of you keep a low profile, maybe get into the city for a bit while we handle this.”

“Not a bad idea.”

Jenna wanted to roll her eyes. Go to a hotel? Seriously? That was their solution? There was no way she could relax knowing Trevor, and the others were out to find the dangerous creep.

“Okay, then we’ll call this a wrap and Trevor will be in touch to keep you updated. Thank you gentlemen. Jenna.” Sam shook everyone’s hand.

The guys chatted with each other, but otherwise ignored her. She excused herself and slid out. What she needed was a moment alone to gather her thoughts, to make sense of it all. The ladies’ room in this part of the building was a small, one-room affair. She flipped the lock and sat down on the closed toilet lid, her purse in her lap. The oversized envelope crinkled and folded.

What had they sent over? She’d finished all her paperwork before she’d left the other day.

Inside the internal delivery envelope was another plain, white legal sized envelope. The address was printed on a sticker and slapped on it, with no return information.

What the hell?

Jenna opened the second envelope, grateful for something to keep her brain from circling the drain. Inside was a thick stack of papers. She squinted at the first one for a moment before realizing it was a photocopy of a newspaper. The type was bleary and hard to read, but the headline was obvious.

COP SHOOTS MAYOR’S SON.

Why was someone sending this to her?

She peered at the next page. Her skin went cold and everything but the photograph was hazy and out of focus.

It was old. He was thinner. But it was Alex.

She skimmed the words flowing around his image, only catching the keywords. Whole sentences slid out of her grasp. Cop. Shooting. Murder. Child. Alex.

The stack of paper slid from her lap and hit the bathroom floor, scattering to all four corners.

“Shit.”

She scrambled to gather another page. Her eyes caught on the washed-out image of a smiling boy with a missing front tooth.

Jenna was sweating now. What had Alex done? This had to be what Trevor wanted her to know, what Alex wouldn’t tell her.

She went to her knees, gathering the pages, skimming the headlines of each.

Kid Killer. Murderer. Homicidal Cop. The labels kept coming, each one worse than the last.

“Jenna?” Alex knocked on the door.

She flinched and glanced at the tiny bit of light under the door where she could see the shadow of his feet.

“Just a minute.”

She gathered the rest of the pages, flipping through to the end.

The articles painted such a different picture than the one she knew. Alex might be a hard ass, he could try her patience, but he’d never been anything except fair and calm under pressure. She’d never heard of so much as a complaint against him. There had to be more to the story.

Did she ask him? After last night she had her doubts if he’d even answer her.

She shoved the papers into her bag and zipped it up. If she wanted answers, she’d have to find them herself. When she asked Alex, she didn’t want to be left hanging.

Jenna flushed the toilet and washed her hands. There was a disjointed, painful throb deep in her chest. There wasn’t a world in which she’d ever suspected Alex of anything. It felt wrong to not trust him completely.

She opened the door and nearly walked into a solid wall of Alex.

“Hey.” He reached for her, sliding his hand around her waist. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Why?” She winced inwardly. Way to sound suspicious.

“The IA guys are great. They’re on our side.” His voice was low though they were the only people in the hall.

“Good. Glad to hear it.” She twisted the purse strap around.

“You mind if we hang out here a bit? I’ve got some paperwork to do.” He thumbed over his shoulder.

“I don’t really have anywhere else to be.” She tried to smile and failed.

“Hey, they’re going to catch him and this is going to be okay.” The way he stared at her...

Her lips curled up of their own accord and her knees went a little weak. God, she wanted it to all be a lie.

If they weren’t standing nearly outside his boss’ office, she had the sense that he’d kiss her, which maybe wasn’t a bad thing. Guilt washed over her. How could she not trust Alex?

“Come on. I’ll be quick, I promise.” He guided her back toward the elevators.

She was grateful he didn’t try to keep the conversation going. Her skin felt stretched too tight, like an over-inflated balloon. If she wasn’t careful, she’d open her mouth and all the secrets would come screaming out of her.

Alex led her down to the bustling area where patrol officers came and went. Here she recognized faces. The side-eye was weaker, and more than a few people asked how she was in passing. Alex must have interpreted her guilt as unease because he hustled her into a small, side room and set her up with a cup of coffee.

Alone, at least for the moment, she dared to open her bag and pull out the papers. Starting with the first page she’d seen, she began to read. The first article was scathing, painting the picture of a man she didn’t know. This Alex was a stranger. The second only bolstered the arguments that Officer Alex Myers was a monster. A child killer. By the fourth and fifth, she started to see holes in the reasoning, places where one newspaper contradicted the other. How could Alex shoot the mayor’s son both in a park and at an arcade?

She drank her way through the first cup of coffee and half the stack before nature and the caffeine jitters drove her to seek the ladies room.

There was no way to deny that the articles were about her Alex. The man she loved. But this was a different time and place. It was clear she didn’t have the complete picture. There were pieces missing only he could provide her.

The more pressing question though, who sent her the clippings?

Only one answer made sense.

Her stalker.

Jenna finished in the ladies room and headed back to her little sanctuary. She’d text Trevor and leave it all for him, or if she was lucky, she’d catch him here and be able to pin his ass to the wall until he squealed.

The door to the room stood open, perfectly framing Alex’s figure as he bent over the stack of papers.

Her stomach knotted up and everything inside of her said to run and hide. Which Alex would he be? The one she’d made love to, or the one from years gone by?

He slowly lifted his head and turned. His expression was completely blank. A mask. Her insides quaked.

Jenna pushed her shoulders back and forced herself to put one foot in front of the other, marching forward as if she had a drill sergeant barking at her again. Sometimes the only thing to do was to head into the thick of it.

She stepped into the small room and closed the door, cutting out the ambient noise from the bull pen.

There was no good way to begin.

“How did it happen?” She leaned against the door and crossed her arms

Alex put the papers down. His gaze slid back to the image of the grinning child with the missing tooth. Feet of space separated them, but it still seemed as though he took it all up. Alex was a Texas sized hero. There had to be another explanation for what happened all those years ago.

“Is that why you left Detroit?”

Despite his calm exterior, she could sense the disturbance below the surface. She’d seen him after the nightmares and knew what that could be like. How the endless loop of atrocities and guilt twisted her up for days after the dream.

“Where did you get this?” Alex’s voice was low.

“It was in the envelope Sam’s assistant gave me. The hospital sent it over. I’m guessing my stalker sent it. I was about to take it over to Trevor.”

“You weren’t going to show it to me?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because...” She dropped her gaze to the spread of newspapers. “Because after reading that I can understand why you didn’t tell me. Is that what the nightmare is about?”

She didn’t expect an answer, but why not ask? He could have looked at the papers and left, choosing to remain blissfully ignorant.

“Yes.” His answer startled her.

Jenna blew out a breath. A brick in the wall that separated slid out of place and once more, she could see him. Her Alex.

“What happened?”

“You think I’m a monster, don’t you?”

“No. I think there was an accident and I don’t have all the facts. Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“It was a long time ago.”

“And you still wake up sweating because of the nightmares. Alex, I know what that’s like.”

He pulled out one of the two chairs and sat. If he was willing to come to the table, so was she. Jenna circled to the other side of the small desk and perched on the edge of the folding, metal chair. She shoved the clippings and printouts to the side and reached for his hand, trying to figure out how to beg him for the truth. Something she could understand.

“I killed him. His name was Abraham Delgado, and his dad was the mayor of Detroit.” Alex squeezed her hand.

“How though?”

“How the papers put it? What the mayor said? Or what I remember?”

“What you remember.”

“I was home. It was late. I’d fallen asleep in the living room until a knock at the door woke me up. I picked up my service gun and went to the door with it in my left hand. I shoot right handed. I still remember being groggy and thinking about the rookie who got killed answering his door. But, I didn’t think that would happen to me. You never do. Anyway, I open the door and there’s this thug kid. He goes to shoot me, I try to dodge, he wings me and as I fall, I squeeze one off. It was a gang initiation. Kid wanted to join one of them, and they said he had to kill a cop. For some reason, he picked me. Didn’t know until the next day it was the mayor’s son. Internal Affairs and the DA ruled it was involuntary manslaughter, but the mayor’s smear campaign had built steam. Abraham was...fifteen, but the papers all ran pictures of him as seven and eight. I was done for. My chief arranged for me to get out. Come here. Start over. So that’s what I’ve done. Try to start over.”

“Why wouldn’t you just tell me?”

“Because...I know how people look at me when they find out. It doesn’t matter that the kid was armed, I still killed a kid. And people don’t forgive you for that.”

“I’m not people, Alex. I’m me. You should have told me. You should have trusted me. I shouldn’t have found out like this.” She pulled her hand from his.

This was Alex trying to protect her again. Shield her. This was a wound no one but Alex could heal. It went so deep, it had changed him. So many things made sense now.

“I can accept your past. I can’t accept lies making decisions for me. I need for you to really think about what you want and how that’s going to work.” She took a step away from him.

“Jenna...”

“I’m going to go talk to Trevor alone. We’ll sort through the records. I’m sure you have other stuff to do.” She grabbed the papers off the desk and left the office.

She loved Alex, but the only way this would work between them was if he trusted her. Without that, they had nothing.