Coco’s wedding day dawned cold but sunny. The three of us met at the salon at eleven in the morning to have our hair and makeup done, giggling over glasses of champagne—sparkling juice for Mia—and taking a million photos. We all wore our hair up, and since it was Coco’s wedding, Mia and I each traded our usual softer colors for Coco’s signature bright red lips.
When we were done, I stopped at my house to grab a quick lunch and pick up my dress, shoes, and the Bridesmaid Survival Kit Mia had made for me. It contained hand lotion, antibacterial gel, hairspray, hairpins, tissues, breath mints, Motrin, a little bottle of whiskey, and a condom.
I won’t be needing that, I thought grumpily. But I left it in the kit and tossed the entire thing in my overnight bag. The girls were all getting dressed at Coco’s parents’ house, which wasn’t too far from where I lived, and then the limo was picking us up from there to go to the church. As I drove over, I wondered again what Charlie’s plans were for tonight that he couldn’t change. I hadn’t heard from him since Thursday night, but I hadn’t cried again either. I did spend way too much time thinking about that kiss at Cliff Bell’s, though.
Confession: I also replayed the scene in the hotel room a million times in my head. (Damn, I wish I had that on video.)
And then the conversation afterward…it almost seemed like he wanted more from me than friendship, but something was holding him back. It could have been any number of things—his fear of screwing it up, a fear of hurting me, his gut feeling that he was wrong for me, or something else entirely. I mean, I really didn’t know him all that well.
And as for my own feelings, I was totally confused. We had great physical chemistry, and I had fun when we were together, but no way did I want Charlie Dwyer to be the one that finally got to me, nor would I feed that big fat ego by being just one more girl who got emotionally attached after having sex with him. In fact, the more I thought about it, the gladder I felt he was unable to be at the wedding tonight.
I didn’t love him.
But I could.
That was the problem.
#
The church glimmered with candlelight. From the back of the church, Mia and I watched as Nick’s grandmother and parents were seated by ushers, followed by Coco’s grandmother and mother. When Nick and his brothers entered the sanctuary from a side door and took their places at the altar, Mia grabbed my arm. “Oh my God,” she whispered. “It’s happening.”
Fighting tears, I nodded, and turned to look at Coco. She was more beautiful than I’d ever seen her, her thick dark hair piled on her head, her skin radiant, her eyes shining. “You ready?” I said softly.
She inhaled and exhaled. “I think so. Is he up there?”
I nodded, glancing back to the altar. “He is. And he looks gorgeous and happy and excited. Grinning ear to ear.”
She smiled too. “Good.” She looked at her father, a tall, heavy-set man with black hair graying at the temples. “Ready, Dad?”
He nodded, and offered his elbow. “Ready.”
“OK,” the wedding coordinator said as the string quartet at the front of the church began the Bach piece Coco had chosen for the processional. “First bridesmaid.”
That was me. I looked at Mia, then Coco, and smiled. “See you up there.”
Coco had chosen beautiful bridesmaid dresses—emerald green bias-cut satin with a draped scoop neck and low back with crisscrossed straps. It was long, and felt lovely swishing against my legs as I walked up the aisle. Mia followed me a minute later, and then Nick’s little niece and nephew charmed the crowd as flower girl and ring bearer.
Finally it was Coco’s moment. My throat squeezed as she glided up the aisle in her ivory wedding dress, also bias-cut satin. The neckline draped just like ours did, but instead of an open back, hers was covered with a sheer layer of tulle covered with beads and crystals in an art deco motif. Just like I’d done at Mia’s wedding, I looked back and forth between bride and groom, fighting tears just like they were. It was so obvious how crazy they were for one another.
Mia reached for my hand, and the two of us clung to each other as Coco’s father kissed her cheek and gave her away to Nick. We only let go twice, once when I had to go up and do a reading, and the second time for communion, which I took but felt guilty about. (Although isn’t guilt half the point of Catholicism?)
Several times throughout the mass, I looked over at Mia and saw her smiling at Lucas, and he back at her.
I was genuinely happy for both my best friends. They’d found exactly what they were looking for, when they least expected it. Yes sir, I was genuinely happy for them, and not a bit jealous. Nope, nope, nope, not one bit. Not even a teensy little bit. Not even—
Oh my God.
I blinked several times at the guy in the black coat coming in the back of the church and sneaking up a side aisle to an open pew. It looked like Charlie, but it couldn’t be. Could it?
Mia elbowed me. “Is that who I think it is?” she whispered in my ear.
I gaped as the guy took off the heavy black coat to reveal a gray suit and white shirt, although the tie was deep red this time.
It was totally Charlie. My girly parts knew it even before my brain did, because they tingled and tightened up like they had some sort of Charlie radar. My nipples peaked, and I brought my bouquet up a little to cover them. Dammit, why hadn’t I had cups sewn in like Mia had?
As if he knew what I was doing, Charlie grinned at me, looking more handsome than I’d ever seen him. My cheeks grew warm with a blush, and my heart rioted in my chest. What was he doing here? What about his plans? Why hadn’t he told me he was coming? I was so happy to see him, I couldn’t stop smiling.
The groom kissed the bride, the mass ended, and the guests all cheered when the priest introduced Mr. and Mrs. Nicolas Lupo for the first time. I whistled and clapped along with everyone, feeling so good I practically floated back down the aisle on the arm of Nick’s brother Michael. I tried to make eye contact with Charlie when I passed the row he was in, but the other guests blocked him.
The bridal party was supposed to go directly to the back of the church and sneak out a side door to wait for the crowd to leave. Then we’d take pictures on the altar before piling in the limos to go to Coco’s house. Reluctantly, I let Michael lead me to the room where immediate family and the newlyweds waited.
Mia and I headed straight for Coco, and the three of us squealed, jumping up and down, tears dripping from our eyes. I hugged them both tight and then hugged Nick and kissed his cheek. “Congratulations,” I said, wiping my kiss mark off his cheek.
“Thank you.” He wiped at it too. “I think I’m going to be covered in red lipstick by the end of the night.”
I laughed. “For the rest of your life, actually.”
He smiled and pulled Coco tight to his side, burying his face in her neck.
“Coco, I need a minute. Is that OK?” I asked her. “I think Charlie showed up.”
“Of course,” she said happily. “It will take a bit for the church to clear, then we’ll do pictures. Just meet us at the altar, and please tell him to come to the house!”
“I will. Thanks.” I raced out of the room and back into the vestibule at the back of the church, which was still emptying out. A few people smiled and said hello and what a beautiful wedding it was, and I nodded without stopping to chat. I had to find Charlie before he left. Side-stepping a few guests, I hurried back into the sanctuary, but it was already empty. Disappointed, I turned around.
He was waiting for me at the door.
“Hey,” I said, rushing toward him. He opened his arms, and I flew into them, forgetting all about the last awkward goodbye we’d had. I threw my arms around him and inhaled his scent. “What are you doing here?”
“I moved some things around to be here. I didn’t want to miss it. Sorry I was late.”
“That’s OK.” I stepped back and looked at him, my heart refusing to slow down. “I’m glad you came. Coco says you have to come to the house too.”
“I’d like that.” He smiled at me. “You look like an angel.”
“Ha. Don’t you know better.”
Laughing, he nodded. “I do.”
The wedding party came blustering back into the church then, noisy and excited. “I have pictures first. Want to wait?”
“Sure. I have to make a quick phone call, but I’ll be here.” He disappeared into the vestibule and I headed up to the altar with everyone.
In every single photo of me from Nick and Coco’s wedding, I am wearing the biggest grin you can possibly imagine.
And my nipples are hard.
#
Mia and Coco had done a spectacular job decorating the house for the reception. Every room on the first floor was lit only by candles or strings of white Christmas lights, the dark woodwork and floors shone, and the ivory, gold, and emerald green color scheme gave the atmosphere a little sparkle. A trio played standards and holiday music in the front room, which had been re-arranged for dancing, the furniture lining the walls. The bar was set up in the kitchen, the wedding party’s table was in the dining room, and a long winterized porch across the back of the house held three narrow tables end-to-end with thirty chairs on either side.
I floated through every room with Charlie at my side, thrilled at the way he held my hand and touched the small of my back and barely took his eyes off me. I introduced him as my friend, squeeing gleefully in my head at the envious looks Charlie inspired from other women. Even my mother blushed a little when Charlie kissed her cheek and said how nice it was to see her again. She inquired after Charlie’s mother and asked for her email address. “I’d love to catch up. Is she still teaching?”
“Um, yes, she is. Uh, I’m not sure about her email address. Maybe I can get it to Erin some other time?” Charlie glanced at me, and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear he looked nervous.
“Oh, sure. It’s been at least ten years, what’s a few more days?” She smiled at the two of us. “Go on, enjoy.”
We headed for the front room, where there was just one seat open. Charlie sat, and pulled me down on his knee. “Here you go. Best seat in the house.”
I grinned, putting an arm across his shoulders. “I agree.” Looking around the room reminded me I hadn’t even started Christmas shopping yet, or put my tree up. “Ugh, I’m so behind on all the holiday stuff. Do you know what you’re doing for Christmas yet?”
“No.” He brought his glass of scotch to his lips. “But I would like to see you sometime before then. I have something for you.”
“You already gave me skates!” I said, but my heart thump-thumped like a kid discovering a pile of presents under the tree. “And wood!”
He grinned. “Right. Can’t forget the wood.”
I poked his stomach. “It’s my turn to give you something. Let’s figure out a day. Maybe next weekend sometime?”
He thought for a second. “Sure. Next weekend works.”
Just then the band started What are You Doing New Years Eve?, and Charlie set his glass on the little table next to us. “Care to dance, Ms. Upton?”
“I’d be delighted, Mr. Dwyer.” Rising to my feet, I set my glass down and offered my hand. Charlie led me to the middle of the room, where other couples swayed in the softly glowing dark.
He held me close, an arm tight around my back, his chin pressed to my temple. I closed my eyes in blissful happiness for a moment, breathing him in. When I opened them, I noticed Mia watching us from across the room, a knowing smile on her face.