Kieran’s chest felt as if it were on fire, and it was a fight to suck in enough air through the ragged gasps. He couldn’t think around the pain spreading out through his limbs, as if it was trying to bend him in half. It felt as if something was inside him, desperately clawing at his insides, as it tried to free itself from the confines of his body.

The sounds of yelling and shouting were growing fainter, and Kieran realized he was being dragged away from the main group. He could hear harsh voices holding a conversation, but it was impossible to make out the words. He thought he recognized Cole’s voice, and tried to focus on the sound in the hopes of blocking out the pain that, by this time, was searing through his entire body. It worked, but not for long only until he heard Tristan’s voice as well, taut with worry. The sound of the man’s voice sent another wave of rage searing through him, and he was startled to hear a feral snarl rip from between his lips.

“Shit, he must have been more ready to pop than I fucking thought,” Tristan said, his words clearer now that the pain in Kieran’s body was quelled under the weight of his anger.

“I told you! I tried telling all of you he was close, but you just had to push. Why do you always have to push even when you’re not supposed to?” Cole hissed back.

Tristan scoffed. “I just thought you were letting your soft spot for him get the best of you, man. I didn’t freaking know he was one word away from losing his shit.”

“It was more than a fucking word,” Cole said tightly.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know he’d freak the hell out,” Tristan shot back.

Cole growled. “Then maybe, just maybe, you should listen to me when I talk sometimes.”

“Try saying something worth listening to and I might,” Tristan said, his tone teasing, but it struck the same nerve in Kieran as his previous words had done.

Fury flared within him, and Kieran felt strength flow back into his limbs. With a scream of pure rage, he ripped out of the grip of the two men holding him and leapt for Tristan’s throat. There was a shout of surprise from behind him, but he ignored it as he reached out to grab hold of Tristan. The smaller man didn’t miss a beat, ducking below Kieran’s grasping hands and rolling out of the way. If Kieran had been thinking clearly, he would’ve been impressed with Tristan’s reflexes, but clarity eluded him and the move only infuriated him further.

“Motherfucker,” Kieran snarled fiercely as he whipped around to try again.

Cole was picking himself off the ground shouting, “Kieran, stop!”

Kieran ignored him, once more reaching out for Tristan in the hopes of throttling him. His movements faltered, coming to a complete stop, in shock as he caught sight of his hands. The fingers had elongated, thick hair sprouted along his hands and fingers, and his fingertips ended in deadly, sharp claws. Kieran gave a yelp that sounded like an animal in distress, backpedaling as he instinctively tried to separate himself from the image.

His back slammed into a tree trunk and in pure terror, he continued to try to get away from the hands he held out in front of him. Kieran’s mind screamed over and over in a cacophony of panic and certainty that what he was looking at weren’t human hands, and therefore couldn’t possibly be his. The dreams of his younger years flooded his mind, and he howled as another wave of agony ripped through him. It felt as if his body were twisting from within, and his eyes slammed shut as he tried to fight off the tsunami of pain.

Cole’s voice bubbled up through the haze, shouting. “Go! Just go! Get Artemis and Apollo; I’ll deal with this.”

Tristan’s voice returned. “Cole, man, you can’t…look at him. You know this isn’t a one-man job, especially with him like this.”

“And you being here is only making it worse. You need to go. You’re the fastest one here, so hurry the hell up,” Cole told him firmly.

A voice Kieran recognized as Michael piped up. “I can stay and help, Cole. I mean, I just…”

“No, just go. I’ll deal with this,” Cole said.

Faintly, Kieran could hear the other two retreating, with Michael saying, “Is this alright?”

“Yeah, whatever. It’s on his head if it goes wrong, maybe literally,” Tristan told him grumpily.

“Are omegas always this bossy?” Michael asked as his voice grew fainter.

Cole snorted in exasperated amusement. “Alphas.”

Kieran shuddered as another fiery ache shot through him. “Cole?”

He felt the warmth as hands gently squeezed his shoulders. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m here.”

Talking was difficult, but Kieran managed to gasp a few words out between waves of what felt like hell. “What the fuck…is happening to me? What did you guys do to me?”

The hand slipped from Kieran’s shoulder to his chin, tilting his face so he was forced to look at Cole. “We’re helping you.”

“This sure as hell doesn’t feel like help,” Kieran moaned.

Cole nodded. “I know. It never does the first time, but that’s what we get for being so stubborn, waiting until we’re adults. I hear it’s easier when you’re a teenager, and you’re still a bit more…flexible I guess.”

“What are you talking about?” Kieran asked with another shudder.

“Remember when I said there’s something else about you, about every single person at this retreat? That there’s more than what meets the eye? I wasn’t speaking metaphorically, I meant that literally. Every single person here, including you, is a werewolf,” Cole told him calmly.

Kieran stared wide-eyed at him, forgetting his pain for a moment in his shock and disbelief. “What?”

“Listen to what’s happening inside you right now, Kieran. Listen to what your inner voice is screaming at you, howling in your head. You know I’m right; you can feel the animal inside you just as much as I can see it in your eyes,” Cole said.

Kieran tried to shake his head. “You’re absolutely insane.”

Cole held Kieran’s chin in a firmer grip. “No. Stop fighting it; stop fighting everything. That’s what got you into this situation in the first place, because you have to be in control and you fight everything. It’s time you stopped fighting, and started trying to understand. Listen to your instincts. They want you to change; they want you to be free. Stop fighting what comes naturally to you.”

Memories rose within the furious storm of sensation and thoughts in Kieran’s mind. His experiences as a boy, growing up and feeling the inhuman rage welling up within him. There were the dreams of running on all fours through the streets, and through forests he’d never actually seen with his own two eyes. The moments where he’d seen red, wanting desperately to tear the throats out from those who dared to hurt him. The almost animal desire for meat and flesh, and how sex to him was as much about animal passion as it was human lust. Everywhere he turned, there had been moments, however fleeting, where something wild and feral had risen up within him and threatened to suck him down to its level. Each and every time, he’d pulled away from it, out of fear, and doubled up on his self-control.

There was truth in Cole’s words, but it only made Kieran try to pull away even harder. “No, this is insane! Take me to a hospital.”

Cole shook his head, smiling sadly. “At this point, you’re a danger to everyone who might be vulnerable, including yourself. We all fight it, Kieran. That’s exactly why all of us came here to this retreat in the first place. We hold the animal in us down, refusing to let it out of its cage because we’re afraid of what it will do. But we’re holding back something that’s an essential part of us, and we suffer for it. You spend so much energy keeping it at bay, denying its existence, that you can’t be who you really are. You’re denying a part of yourself, and it’s time to face up to it and accept it.”

“That’s not…me,” Kieran gasped out, feeling something in his mind responding to Cole’s words.

“It is, but you just don’t want to accept it. Civilization is built on the principle of humanity denying their animal instincts. That might work for humans, but it doesn’t work for us, because we’re not totally human. You have to embrace this thing; you have to accept who and what you are. You’re never going to have peace if you keep holding yourself back,” Cole explained.

Kieran tried to curl up as the pain began to intensify with every point Cole made. “It…hurts.”

Cole knelt before him, smiling sadly. “I know. It always does. It hurts every time the wolf inside you tries to come out, doesn’t it? That means you’re ready, Kieran; you just have to let it.”

Kieran shook his head as best he could. “No…my life…mine.”

Cole leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Kieran’s. “It will stop hurting when you accept it. Trust me, Kieran. You won’t lose yourself to it just by accepting it. I promise you: when you let it happen, you will know a freedom you’ve never experienced in your life. It’s terrifying and painful now, because you’re fighting it.”

“Always…have to,” Kieran said, struggling with himself as he fought to not let go, to not let his control, his armor, down for a moment.

Cole caught Kieran’s gaze. “Just let go, Kieran. I promise I won’t leave you alone with this. I’ll be here throughout the whole ordeal. It’ll be just you and me; I swear it.”

The thing that felt as if it were clawing at his chest seemed to loosen, and a howl ripped out of Kieran. His body shuddered, but it wasn’t with pain. It felt to Kieran as if his body were becoming both pliant, yet harder simultaneously. Kieran’s head thrust back, slamming into the trunk behind him as he let out another howl that echoed through the trees.

His back arched, and the strange tingling pain he felt as his body changed was flooded by thoughts and emotions as they poured in. There were no words in Kieran’s mind as his body was overwhelmed with a power he couldn’t fathom. In that one moment of permission, his body was taken over by the very same force he’d kept restrained for so long. It pushed and pulled at him, filling his mind with images of freedom and hunting. The forest around him seemed to come to life, filled with the sounds of critters in the brush, the scent of the fertile earth, and the feel of dirt and branches beneath him.

Strength filled his limbs, arching from his chest and radiating out to the very tips of his fingers and toes. He knew he was huge now, larger than he’d have ever been before, but he didn’t feel awkward. In fact, he felt more comfortable in this strange, muscular body. He was panting, and he could see his breath through an elongated snout.

The shock was a jolt to his system as he suddenly realized Cole had been telling him the truth all along. Kieran didn’t even recognize his own body as he slowly stood to look down at it. There were shreds of cloth stretched sparsely over parts of him, the remaining pieces of his ruined clothes lay in a scattered heap at his feet. His body was thick in every sense, and he was sure he’d grown another few feet in height. The entire length of his body was covered in thick, coarse fur that shone in the sunlight like black opals. His hands were monstrous in size, ending in the same claws he’d seen before, but sharper and deadlier. A careful touch of his face revealed he did, in fact, have a snout, his lips pulling back as he gently poked at the sharp teeth behind them.

He gazed down at himself in wonder, realizing that every pain he’d experienced was gone. All that remained was a feeling of power and speed gifted to him by his new body. The desire to run and howl rose up within him, and he gave a triumphant call to the sky with a long, drawn out cry.

Cole chuckled. “I told you it would feel good.”

Kieran only then realized Cole was still standing there, though he’d backed up to give Kieran space to check out his new form. Kieran dropped to all fours, shoving his face into Cole’s crotch and sniffing. He realized he could smell so much more than before, and the complex smell of a sun kissed beach was even stronger on the other man. As he snuffled, Kieran realized he could smell the man’s fear and concern, mingling with relief and something else he couldn’t immediately identify.

“Kieran?” Cole asked carefully, not moving.

Kieran’s head popped up as he looked into Cole’s steady gaze. He gave the man another sniff before his tongue lolled out to lick Cole’s face from chin to forehead. Cole laughed and stepped back, wiping the drool off his face.

“I see you’re in a good mood,” Cole commented as he continued to chuckle.

Kieran huffed and bent forward, pawing at the ground as he shook himself. He’d never felt as good as he did in that exact moment. To his new senses, there seemed like there was so much more going on in the forest than there had before. Yet his tendency to be overwhelmed by sensory overload seemed to be a thing of the past. He panted happily as he gazed around, cocking his head as he caught the sound of something skittering under the blanket of leaves nearby. He stuck his nose in the air, sniffing as he caught the scent of something he realized was a deer.

Cole reached out, laying his fingers carefully on Kieran’s dense pelt. “Look at you. Didn’t I tell you it would be okay?”

Kieran felt muscles moving at his rear, and looked back in surprise to see he had a tail, and it was wagging. Cole laughed, his fingers spreading out to stroke Kieran’s fur. He couldn’t help but give a low grumble of approval at the new sensation, rubbing his long face against Cole’s in appreciation.

Cole chuckled, reaching up to run a finger over Kieran’s muzzle. “Yeah, look at you go. I’m proud of you, Kieran. You really did it. Not really surprised you went into our true form though; somehow, it fits you.”

Kieran cocked his head in confusion, earning him another chuckle from Cole. “Don’t worry about it. We’ve got plenty of time to explain things. What’s important is that you got through the hardest part, and you did it on your own.”

Kieran gave a soft woof of happiness, rubbing against Cole once more. Before Cole could do much more than laugh, Kieran’s body tightened against him. He smelled the group approaching before he heard them. Instinctively, he coiled himself around Cole’s body, doing his best on all fours to cover Cole as he growled in warning toward the stranger’s scent. He could swear they smelled somewhat familiar, but he didn’t like it when he realized they smelled like werewolves. Werewolves he couldn’t identify were a potential threat, and his instincts screamed for him to prepare to fight and protect Cole if it came down to it.

Cole looked startled, but smiled as he reached out to rub Kieran’s broad shoulder soothingly. “It’s probably just the others. They weren’t far off when I sent for them.”

Kieran didn’t budge, his lips curling up as he gave another warning snarl. He heard the footsteps then, and three people appeared in the clearing, though they stopped when they spotted Kieran and Cole. Some part of Kieran understood that he knew the three of them, and his snarls died down to soft growls. Even as he grew silent, he never moved from blocking Cole with his body, watching the three werewolves warily.

Artemis put her hands on her hips, looking between Cole and Kieran. “From the way Tristan was acting, I thought I was about to walk into a bloodbath.”

Cole snorted, now rubbing the top of Kieran’s massive head. “Tristan is a drama queen. I told him I had this handled.”

Artemis frowned, and Kieran could smell her anger. “That was stupid of you. I told you we don’t deal with this stuff alone. You know the dangers; remember what happened with your change?”

Kieran’s ears lay flat, and he gave a renewed snarl of warning when Artemis moved to step closer. Apollo was at her side, and while he didn’t move, Kieran could sense the strength pouring out of him. Michael had come back with them, but he wasn’t moving, staying near the edge of the tree line where he’d stopped, and now watched them warily.

Cole shook his head. “There was no need to worry, obviously. And I would uh, not mention his name at the moment. Kieran here is still a little touchy about the subject.”

Artemis closed her arms over her chest. “So we were told. He and I will be having a long discussion about when it’s appropriate to be an instigator, and when he needs to keep his mouth shut. But I’m thinking this is more about you than it is about him.”

“Me? What’d I do?” Cole asked in bewilderment.

Michael nodded jerkily toward Kieran. “He didn’t get pissed until she tried to get closer to you, dude. I’m pretty sure he don’t give a shit who it is; I think he’s protecting you.”

“Kieran? What’s there to protect me from?” Cole asked.

“Us,” Apollo answered in his deep, soothing voice.

Cole bent over so he could look straight into Kieran’s face. “Hey, it’s okay. They’re with us. Remember, we all work here to help people like you get through stuff like this. You don’t have to protect me from them; they’re my friends, my pack.”

His human mind was confused, since his wolf mind was somehow plucking the meaning of the word ‘pack’ from his human half and understanding it in a way he couldn’t. His tension eased and he sat back on his haunches, long limbs sprawled out before him as he watched the three werewolves approach slowly.

“I see he went to his true form rather than his wolf form,” Artemis noted.

Cole looked up at Kieran, grinning. “Seems pretty fitting; he took the form that’s best for fighting.”

“Reminds me of someone else,” Apollo commented with a ghost of a smile.

Cole frowned at him. “Let him have his first change without dragging my nonsense into it.”

Artemis smiled at Kieran. “Congratulations, Kieran. You changed far faster than I ever thought you would. You lost me a bet, you bastard. I thought you would take at least another month.”

Kieran cocked his head, whining in confusion. He understood the conversation, but it seemed to conflict with the much simpler, primal impulses running through him. Kieran liked the feel of Cole’s fingers in his fur, and the sound of his laugh. Now that he knew the three were safe, he enjoyed having them near him. He knew what they were saying to him, but he could only hold onto the emotional impressions they gave him.

“He looks half-feral still,” Michael noted, not moving from his position by the trees.

“He’ll get the hang of it, but first we should get him turned back so he can get some rest. Then, we can have a little talk,” Artemis said as she evaluated Kieran.

Cole tugged on Kieran’s head. “C’mon, you. I’ll guide you through it; it’s a lot easier than turning the first time.”