The days following his first change were split between spending his time with Cole, learning everything he could about being a werewolf, and socializing with the other lost pups. It wasn’t the first time he’d been constantly busy, but it was the first time he could remember enjoying himself as much as he was.

The time spent with the other lost pups had been helping him more than he’d originally believed possible. Spending hours with the others allowed him to learn their stories, and to see where it was they’d come from. Many of them shared a similar story to him, with a rough childhood and an even rougher time growing out of it. So many of them had simply fallen on hard times outside their control and had never known why. Despite their initial greeting, they were quick to warm to him, and he thrilled at the moments when he caught their looks of approval, or when they laughed at something snarky he said.

“They’re drawn to you,” Cole told him, having taking Kieran with him on a walk, which was his pretense at continuing to teach Kieran.

Kieran smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone drawn to me before. It’s been nice, not being so paranoid about everything all the time. I feel…freer.”

Cole nodded. “It’s also because you’re an alpha. Most of the werewolves you meet aren’t going to be alphas, and alphas draw attention to themselves. Even though they haven’t changed yet, or connected with the wolf inside, they’re still drawn to you. It’s what you alphas do.”

“Funny, I never seemed to do that much before I changed,” Kieran said with a snort.

Cole nodded. “It’s different when it’s you who hasn’t changed yet. Another werewolf probably wouldn’t have been as bad, but a conflicted alpha probably sends some weird signals to humans. Remember, humans were prey animals for a long time, and something about a troubled predator in their midst upsets them. They don’t know why, but they’re uncomfortable, and it’s even worse when it’s an alpha.”

“Why, because we’re all bossy and demanding?” Kieran asked with a smirk.

Cole eyed him, trying not to smile. “Yes, that’s exactly it.”

Kieran was relieved to see their conversation was turning out to be one of the better ones. Ever since he’d told Cole about the smell he’d detected on him, the other man had been different with Kieran. There were times when they were like they’d been from the beginning, friendly and open. Yet there were more times when Cole was quiet, explaining what he’d come to explain, without any real life or vigor to him. Kieran had yet to work up the courage to ask why, but it bothered him every time he watched Cole pull away from him emotionally.

“So, what’s today’s lesson? Are you going to make me turn into a wolf again?” Kieran asked.

Cole shook his head. “No, I think you’ve got the hang of that just fine. It was getting you back into human form that was the hard part.”

“Aww, I promise I won’t run away from you again,” Kieran told him with a laugh.

“I had to chase you for over an hour until you listened, so you’re in time-out from turning for a while,” Cole told him.

They laughed together, remembering Cole’s harried chase through the woods after Kieran’s wolf. At the time, Kieran had been simply enjoying the freedom of being on four legs, and free to run through the forest. Cole had been more concerned that Kieran might have been lost to his wolf instincts, or that someone might see him. It wasn’t like a wolf would be an odd sight, but it would probably cause a clamor back at the main camp if someone were to spot him. Kieran had led him through clearings and even a couple of rivers before he finally stopped to let Cole catch up.

Kieran smiled warmly at Cole. “Well, thank you for being so patient with me. I know it can’t always be easy.”

Cole’s smile flickered when he caught Kieran’s gaze. “Hey, it’s just part of what I do around here.”

Kieran took a deep breath and leaned forward, intending to finally kiss Cole. He got within a few inches, and Cole must have realized his intention, as the man pulled back, turning his head to the side.

Kieran sighed, recognizing the signs of Cole pulling away again. He had hoped by simply being friendly and unobtrusive with the man, that Cole would stop retreating. Yet no matter how patient he tried to be, Cole kept pulling away any time there was the potential for something more to blossom. Kieran enjoyed Cole’s company, just for the sake of having the man around. However, he couldn’t deny the frustration he felt every time he watched Cole pull away emotionally.

Taking another deep breath, Kieran decided to finally broach the subject. “Is this what’s going to happen from now on?”

Cole looked puzzled. “I was kidding about you being in time-out. We just need you to turn a little further away from the main camp, if you’re going to go running like that.”

Kieran shook his head. “That’s…not what I meant.”

Cole blinked. “What did you mean?”

Kieran motioned toward him. “It feels like every time we spend time together, everything is great and then you just…pull away.”

Cole’s face darkened. “It’s…nothing. Please don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it? Why wouldn’t I? If there’s something I’m doing wrong, please tell me. I realize I’m absolutely shit at knowing when I should or shouldn’t say something, but if I’m upsetting you, you need to tell me,” Kieran informed him.

Cole snorted softly. “I would tell you if you were doing something wrong. That’s what being your teacher is about, isn’t it?”

“That’s not the same thing, I’m talking about being your friend,” Kieran said as he tried to force himself to be more honest.

Cole shook his head. “You’re not doing anything wrong, Kieran, trust me.”

“Okay, then I suppose…you’re just trying to keep it professional?” Kieran offered.

Cole looked surprised. “What?”

Kieran nodded, the idea making sense to him the more he thought about it. “I mean, it works, right? Your role here is being the good guy. You’re the one who everyone trusts and comes to when there’s a problem. You’re the one who helps them through the hard times, and guides them when they’re struggling. I should have realized that didn’t mean you were trying to be my friend. It was just you doing your job.”

Cole’s eyes went wide. “What? No! That’s not it! I can be friends with the people I’m helping. Hell, that’s part of being friends with someone!”

Kieran huffed. “Then what? Is this over that smell thing? I’m sorry I said that, okay? I didn’t know it meant something.”

Cole sighed, shaking his head. “Can we just…drop this, please?”

Kieran growled in frustration. “I want to understand what’s wrong! One minute I think we’re doing great, and then you pull into yourself, and I don’t even know who I’m looking at anymore.”

Cole pulled back, looking like he’d been slapped. “You don’t know me.”

Frustrated with himself, Kieran reached out and took hold of Cole’s shoulders. “Yes, but I want to know you! That’s what I’ve been trying to do.”

“Kieran, let go of me,” Cole said, looking at Kieran’s hands.

Kieran gave another growl of frustration as he looked down at Cole. There was so much about the other werewolf he didn’t know, and it stung when Cole retreated into himself. Kieran so badly wanted to yell at Cole, or shake him. He knew it was just his passion getting the best of him, and he began to force his fingers to unwind from Cole’s shoulders, ashamed at his reaction.

Part of him wanted to hold on tighter, to bring Cole closer to him. As he became aware of the impulse, he noticed the look in Cole’s eyes. The man’s eyes were open wide, and despite the set line of his jaw, Kieran spotted something else.

Kieran released him, looking away. “You’re afraid. You’re afraid of me.”

Cole took a step back, shaking his head. “I’m not afraid of you, Kieran. You’re not as terrifying as you think.”

Kieran scoffed, looking away. “I suppose that’s fair, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re scared, and it’s because of me. No wonder you don’t want anything to do with me.”

“That’s not…” Cole began to protest, growing silent as he looked down at his feet.

“Then what is it?” Kieran asked.

Cole turned away, shaking his head. “I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of…it’s how I feel, okay?”

Kieran snorted softly in amusement. “She told me you could be stubborn when you wanted to be.”

Cole glanced over his shoulder. “Who did?”

“Artemis. She told me that underneath all that sweetness, there was a stubborn pain in the ass. I think I’m finally getting to see what she meant,” Kieran told him.

Cole scoffed. “It’s not nice to talk about people when they’re not around.”

“She’s not wrong, though. Well, the stubborn thing is right, but I mean the sweet thing. You’re a kind person,” Kieran said.

Cole smiled. “You don’t have to sound like it hurts you to say that out loud.”

Kieran laughed. “Okay, I’m bad at compliments, it’s true. But it’s also true that you’re the first person I ever really liked when I came here, and you’re the only person who tried to reach out to me. You didn’t let me be an asshole, but you tried to see past it too. I can’t think of anyone who’s done that for me before, and I’m thankful for it. I want to try to get to know you better, Cole. I just need you to let me in first.”

Cole turned to eye Kieran carefully, chewing his bottom lip. “That was an improvement.”

“It was honesty,” Kieran told him.

Cole sighed, hanging his head. “Look, it’s not that I don’t want to be friends with you. And I’m not trying to pull away from you. And you’re not as big an asshole as you make yourself out to be. The problem is…I do like you.”

The tone of Cole’s voice made Kieran’s heart skip a beat. “I don’t understand.”

Cole shook his head. “You have got to be one of the smartest yet densest people I’ve ever known.”

“Wow, are you going to try out the brutally honest thing now too?” Kieran asked.

Cole snorted, stepping forward into Kieran’s personal space and grabbing hold of his head. In his surprise, Kieran didn’t resist as he was pulled down toward Cole’s face. Their lips met, and Kieran made a low noise of surprise and pleasure. He wasn’t surprised to find Cole’s lips were as soft as his personality, and there was a touch of need to the kiss that sparked a fire in Kieran’s gut and made his head swim. The kiss only lasted a moment, but it left Kieran dizzy and with the smell of sea spray lingering in his nose.

“That’s what I meant,” Cole told him softly as he stepped back again.

Kieran blinked at him. “Can we…do that again?”

Cole looked amused. “See, now that only makes it worse.”

Kieran ran a finger over his lips. “So the problem, if I’m understanding this right, is that you…like me.”

“You’ve never had anyone like you before?” Cole asked in amusement.

Kieran had plenty of people lust after him, but he’d never had someone he could claim liked him. It wasn’t exactly the first time someone had kissed him either, but that kiss was a lot different to any he’d had in the past. There was no denying there had been lust and desire in the kiss, but it was a different kind of need. Kieran had wanted to know the feel of kissing Cole before, but it had far surpassed any of his fantasies.

“Not…in the way that I hope you’re saying you like me,” Kieran admitted.

Cole winced. “No offense, but maybe that’s more to do with the fact that you wouldn’t notice unless someone kissed you.”

Kieran chuckled. “I mean…I had hoped. There were…moments where I thought you might feel the same. I wasn’t even sure of what it was at first, so I guess I’m dense in that regard.”

“You thought that, huh? I guess I’m not as good at hiding it as I thought,” Cole admitted sadly.

Kieran’s smile drooped, his heart sinking at the look on Cole’s face. “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t be happy about this.”

Cole pointed at him. “Don’t go thinking that me being…worried and a little freaked has anything to do with you being an asshole. Like I said, you’re not as bad as you think you are.”

Kieran nodded. “So, what? Is this like a…camp rule or something? You can’t get involved with the people you’re supposed to be helping?”

Cole shook his head. “There are rules, but that’s only for the people who haven’t turned yet. By our own reckoning, you’re one of us, so there’s no rules against anything happening.”

Kieran sighed. “Okay, I give up on the guessing game. Are you going to tell me what the problem is?”

Cole’s mouth twisted. “It’s just…look, I like you, and every time we spend time together, I end up liking you a bit more. You’re a lot nicer than you like to act. You’re intelligent, witty, and fun to be around. I know that sounds like a really lame list, but it’s all true. I also want to know more about you. I want to talk to you all the time, and yeah, I want to see you naked…well, in the sexual sense. But it’s just…we’re too different.”

Kieran squinted. “Okay…we’re different, how…what?”

“What I mean is, you’re not going to stay here, and I’m not going to leave. You don’t even belong here. You’re happy with your life back in the city, and you want to go back to it when you’re done here. I don’t blame you. I don’t want to leave this place because it’s where I’m happiest, and I can do some really great things while I’m here. Trying to make anything happen between us is just asking for the both of us to get hurt,” Cole rambled.

“I’ve…never had anyone say they wanted to date me, while they’re also explaining why they didn’t want to date me,” Kieran said, bemused.

Cole grunted. “I didn’t say I wanted to date you.”

“You kissed me, then proceeded to give reasons why we couldn’t be together. That kind of tells me that while you’re trying to say why we can’t, you still want to,” Kieran said.

“You’re really not helping me out here,” Cole told him.

Kieran stepped closer. “And what if I just…kissed you?”

Cole put a hand on Kieran’s chest. “Kieran, I’m serious.”

“So am I,” Kieran said, taking another step forward.

Cole’s arm didn’t lock into place, even though his face was twisted with worry. “Look, I mean it, Kieran. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was a spur of the moment thing, and I shouldn’t have given into my impulses. I just…”

Kieran felt Cole’s arm going slack. “But you want me to do it anyway.”

“Yes,” Cole breathed finally, looking exasperated.

Kieran didn’t have to be told twice. He bowed forward to cup Cole’s face with his hands. It took a great deal of self-control to keep himself from diving into the kiss. A desire he’d never felt before rose up through him as he kissed Cole. The fire from before burned in his gut, and he let out a happy hum as their lips pressed together. Cole’s body went wire tight, pressing against him as he moaned softly. Before Kieran could move to deepen the kiss further, Cole broke it off, backing away from him slowly.

Cole shook his head, face mournful. “I’m sorry, Kieran. I really am. But I…I can’t do this, not again. I won’t be left behind again.”

His words startled Kieran but before he could say anything, Cole had turned and disappeared into the woods.