Cole spent most of his days writing, while I could only seem to count the days until our baby would arrive on this earth. I sat calmly in the rocking chair, clutching his laptop in my hands. I couldn’t stop looking at cribs, wallpaper, clothing items, accessories—you name it.

However, the truth was that I was starting to feel physically restless. As each week passed, my body ached. The sickness left me, but the cravings became a bit too unbearable. I was even craving the taste of chalk. Disgusting.

“Well, I’m not buying you chalk, darling,” Cole said right after I admitted my weird urges to him.

“I’ll settle for a pickle and fried chicken sandwich. But make it three of them, please,” I said while holding my overextended belly. “Fuck. Who cares? Make it four. I’m huge, anyway.”

I barely enjoyed looking at my reflection anymore. It wasn’t something I talked about with Cole, but he could sense the discomfort I had with myself. This whole pregnancy thing, while beautiful, was sometimes a total bitch.

Today was one of those hard days. Sometimes, I wanted to conquer the world. Most of the time, my body couldn’t take the requirements. I tried not to complain because I knew Cole had a lot of writing to do. Still, I sort of wished that I could let out my real frustrations somehow.

Cole looked at me with tender eyes, but he didn’t dare say a word. He knew that language wouldn’t console me. Instead, he kissed me. Over and over again, he kissed me. Then, he said, “When this is over, we’ll do more. We can plan out our future.”

“All I want to do is take a walk outside. I feel like I’ve been trapped in this room for a decade now,” I said in the most exhausted tone ever.

I had three months left in this pregnancy. Even though I had gotten over the hump, that amount of time felt like far too long. Plus, seeing Cole so healthy and able made me feel weak.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Cole asked. “You should be out more anyway. Let’s go to the park. We’ll relax in the sunshine.”

The idea sounded incredible to me, but I didn’t know if I was ready. Truth be told, it had been tough moving into the city. I still hadn’t adjusted, and whenever I went out somewhere, I felt like a total freak. There weren’t that many people who could understand my situation.

I stood up and balanced myself. “I’m not sure,” I said.

Cole ran his hands down to my waist, gently assisting me. I groaned quietly. Suddenly, I felt incredibly emotional. “God, what is happening to my hormones?” I asked aloud.

Cole tried not to laugh. “It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries,” Cole said.

I rolled my eyes and waddled forward, opening the door. I glanced outside. “I wish I weren’t so different,” I whispered.

“You’re not as different as you think, Piper,” Cole said. “But I know it’s hard. It’ll get easier over time.”

I kissed Cole and clung to his shoulder. “Should I just do it? Should I just go outside and face my fears?” I asked.

I knew that eventually, I’d be able to handle feeling “different,” whatever that word meant. But the flashbacks wouldn’t stop breaking into my subconscious. The worst was thinking about Jacob’s angry face, towering over me. My past felt like a real nightmare.

“I’ll be there with you, my love. Every step you take, I’ll be holding your hand,” Cole said in a loving and compassionate tone. I trusted him, so I had to try. If it got too hard, I could always come back.

I remembered when Cole first laid eyes on his old room’s door, back when he visited for his father’s funeral. I suddenly realized that, back then, he was feeling the same emotions as I was. Facing the demons of your past was hard.

But then I remembered what Cole told me during those emotional days. To become a magician, you had to be a fool. You had to step out into the unknown before gaining true wisdom.

That’s what our baby needed. He would need a strength I didn’t yet possess.

“Okay.” I gulped and put my left foot forward. “I’ll do it. I’ll go.”

We walked to the park, hand in hand. Every few steps, I’d close my eyes to feel the breeze against my face, chest, and arms. “Okay, this is nice. I need to do this more often,” I said. “I don’t know why I coop myself up so much. I guess I’m just...”

“You don’t need to explain it to me. I know what you’re going through. Plus, you’re pregnant, Piper. You’re probably feeling things most people wouldn’t ever understand,” Cole said.

I had to laugh at myself. Sometimes, I forgot that what I was going through wasn’t exactly usual for a pregnancy. “It’s just taking so damn long!” I exclaimed.

“We’re almost there. Just three more months,” he said.

I kept my hands firmly planted around my belly. In all actuality, I couldn’t stop touching my bump. I was at the point where I could really feel our child. There was life inside of me, and he was beginning to become aware that there might be more on the outside. I understood the sentiment.

“We still don’t have a name,” I said.

“Well, I was thinking of ideas the other day, but it’s been a little tough,” Cole admitted. “Do you have any ideas?”

I had a whole folder of ideas, but each name sounded as good as the other. I scratched my head and giggled, feeling a tad bit embarrassed. “It’s a lot to think about right now. I wish they just came out with a name,” I joked.

“Well, I do have one idea, but I don’t know if it’s weird,” Cole said.

I gripped his hand, intertwining my fingers with his. “Tell me. I have an open mind,” I said.

“Remember when I told you about my dad?” Cole asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. How could I forget?” I asked, solemnly.

The whole story was so heartbreaking and horrible that it barely even seemed real. If I ever lost Cole, I wouldn’t know how I’d carry on, but I wouldn’t start a community against my own kind.

“I don’t know…” Cole sighed, but we kept walking together. The trees rustled around us. It was nearing the end of the summer, and the smells from the markets wafted into our nostrils. People littered the streets, but in a way, it felt like we were the only ones outside.

“Cole, you can tell me anything,” I said.

“Lately, I’ve sort of given myself two tasks. At the library where I normally write, I’ve been searching through the records. Eventually, I called a few places to try and get some more information on him. In a roundabout way, he had such an impact on everyone’s life. I had to know more,” Cole said.

I kept my eyes fixated on him as we walked. “I found out that was a nurse and a total humanitarian in the best way possible. He was trying to help people like us,” Cole said.

“Like us?” I asked.

“Yeah, people who grew up without a voice. Not just omegas or alphas, but people in different places all around the world. The poor and afflicted, the wounded and abandoned. Peter was the complete opposite of what my father became, and I think if he were still alive today, my dad would have been a great man,” Cole said, eyes glazed with knowing pain.

“He would have been. We would have been free, in a way,” I said. “But I guess life sometimes has its reasons, you know? We’re pregnant and, even though it’s been a difficult journey, our son is going to be here sooner than we think.”

“Life is just crazy,” Cole said. “It’s hard to make sense of it.”

We stepped into the park, eyeing a big patch of green grass. “Tell me about it.” I laughed. Cole laid a small blanket down and patted the creases out.

“I just think it might be cool to honor Peter,” Cole said. “Even though I never got the chance to know him, he was my dad too. He lived a whole life out there. He sacrificed himself to make me. As sad as that is to think about, it’s also beautiful.”

Tears poured down my cheeks. My emotions were definitely at a high point during this time, but I probably would have cried either way. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. And sad. And… I think we should do it. We should honor him by naming our child Peter,” I said.

“Really? Are you sure?” Cole asked. “Because, ultimately, this is your decision. You’ve had to go through hell these months, so I want you to have the final say.”

“Oh, Cole. We’ve been through hell together. I want to do this. It’s a perfect name,” I said, suddenly feeling like myself again. I plopped my body on the towel and waved him forward. “Come. Lay with me.”

It was a perfect Sunday afternoon. The birds were flying around us, chirping away. The weather was great, and everyone was in a friendly mood. I unexpectedly felt like life was starting to go in the right direction for once.

“Thank you for everything,” Cole said as we stared at the clouds.

If you fought for what you believed in, life could be perfect. There were times I felt like giving up, but I had a strong support system now. I could do anything, especially eat four fried chicken sandwiches with extra pickles, hold the chalk.