I never knew I could be so scared of something again, but I was in another impossible situation, staring at myself in the mirror and shaking with fear. Behind me was Jacob, standing with a smile.

Did he know? Did someone tell him? Or was he unaware, and smiling truthfully. I had no idea, but I didn’t want to find out.

“Hello. How was your day, Jacob?” I asked.

Jacob meandered over to me. I pointed my head at him without turning around. His cold hands touched my shoulders, sending chills down my spine. I was freaking out and trying to remain as calm as I could, but it was so painful.

“It was good. I went through all the preparations for the funeral,” Jacob said. His eyes seemed to analyze mine like a predator in the wild. “What’s wrong? Why are you acting… odd?”

I gulped down and turned around, eager to fix the situation. I took his hand and smiled. “Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just feeling sad about Cole’s father. He was a great teacher,” I said.

Did my lie work? I thought that it was decent enough, and the look that Jacob gave me was pleased. “I know. It’s tragic. He inspired us all,” Jacob said.

Finally, he let go of me. I could take a moment to walk into the bathroom and breathe. I took my toothbrush and eagerly placed it in my mouth, even though I had already brushed my teeth.

“So, the funeral is tomorrow,” Jacob said. “Has Cole told you of his plans? Is he leaving the morning after?”

I shrugged and spat into the sink. “I’m not sure. I haven’t really seen him today,” I said.

“Really?” Jacob asked, leaning in the doorway of the bathroom. “You haven’t seen him at all?”

“Well…” I leaned against the front of the sink and ran the water loudly. “I saw him briefly, I guess. I think he went out earlier to write,” I said.

After that, everything happened extremely fast. I felt Jacob’s hands squeeze around my waist, spinning me to face him. He groaned like a wild animal, nearly tearing my shirt. I could feel his fingers digging into my skin.

“Stop!” I screamed.

“Why are you lying to me?” he growled like the foul beast that he was. I closed my eyes in fear that he might take my life. I didn’t know how crazy he could get. This was the first time he had done this. “Answer me, you—”

Jacob stopped short of the insult he was thinking of, but I was pretty sure I knew what he meant. In a swift act of courage, I pushed him as hard as I could. He fell into the wall, and I ran out of the house with haste.

The darkened streets shrouded me. I didn’t look back. I just ran straight to the nearest safe place I could find. I ducked behind a set of bushes and heard him cry out, “PIPER!” And then, when there was no response for seconds, he said, “You’ll have to come home sooner or later.”

Panic overtook me, and I began hyperventilating against the ground. I dry-heaved until, somehow, the feeling dissipated. Then, I just laid on the cold, wet grass.

I didn’t want to be alive. I didn’t want to live a life subjected to all this pain and torment. Cole’s arrival had brought out Jacob’s true colors, dark and horrifying.

I actually slept behind those bushes that night. Despite the cold winds, and the rough patches of grass below me, I closed my eyes and slept a dreamless sleep. Everything felt empty, but when I woke up, Cole was standing above me, almost like he was my guardian angel.

“Piper?” Cole asked. “Jesus, Piper!”

He took off his coat and kneeled down, throwing it around my shivering body. It was early, and the sun was just beginning to rise, but it was still freezing. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, mouth parched.

“Sorry? Piper, don’t be sorry. What happened to you? When I came home from eating at the café, you weren’t there,” Cole said.

I huddled against his warm body, feeling his hands run around my arms and chest. He was the only comfort I had at that moment, and I felt blessed that Jacob didn’t find me.

“Jacob went crazy,” I said. There were bruises on my body. I could feel them aching on my hips, but I didn’t want to show Cole the marks. “It’s fine. It’s over now.”

As soon as I said those words, the images flashed inside of my head. Jacob’s gnarled lips opened as his teeth smashed together with anger and rage.

It wasn’t the violence that scared me the most. What terrified me was the powerful energy behind it. It was clear that Jacob didn’t only want to hurt me. He wanted to destroy my very being.

But that would have been too easy for him. No, he wanted more than that. He wanted to control me. In Jacob’s eyes, if I couldn’t be his slave, I shouldn’t have had the right to exist.

Cole’s eyes were so much different than Jacob’s. They were full of concern. I could see the empathy that accompanied his every move. “What really happened?” he asked. “Because I know you’re not telling me the whole truth.”

Of course, I looked away in shame. In so many ways, I felt like this was my fault. If I hadn’t gone off with Cole the past few days, none of this would have happened. Jacob and I could have gotten married, and fulfilled the duty of our community.

“I provoked Jacob. I lied to him. I shouldn’t have hidden the fact that we went out walking together,” I said.

My stomach felt heavy, even though I hadn’t eaten yet. A sense of dread was all around me. “Oh, fucking bullshit,” Cole whispered in an angry tone. “You’ve never provoked anyone in your life. You’re a docile and beautiful human.”

“Great. So I’m weak,” I said.

“What? No. You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t know anybody else who has endured all that you have,” Cole said.

“I’m sorry, Cole.” I sighed and leaned my head into his chest. He cradled me in his arms for a long while, telling me that everything was okay. “I feel trapped in every way imaginable. Just so trapped. Even if I have choices, none of them lead to good things.”

“Did he hit you?” Cole asked, bluntly.

I shook my head, feeling my worst. “No. But he might as well have,” I said.

I could feel Cole’s muscles twitch against me. “I’ll fucking kill the bastard,” Cole whispered. Then, shaking his head, Cole said, “What did he do? You need to tell me, Piper.”

I didn’t say anything, but Cole caught my eyes looking down at my waist. He lifted my shirt just a little bit and immediately saw the reddish bruises. They would start to grow darker in time, no doubt.

“Darling, I’m so sorry,” Cole said. One by one, tears started to fall from his sad eyes. And then, I started crying with him.

The one word stuck out. Darling. I always felt like the darling boy in his eyes, and lately, I felt it even more. He was my protector, my one true friend. I had so much I wanted to do with him, to see and experience.

But I was a fool. I didn’t take the chance to run away with him. “Cole,” I whispered. “What is the world like?”

For a moment, Cole didn’t even breathe. “The world? You know what it’s like, Piper,” he said.

“No, I don’t. I mean, I’ve seen things on TV, but it’s not like we watch much of that. You know how it is here,” I said.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “The world is a beautiful, vast place, full of wonder and splendor. There are massive cities with people just like us. Alphas and omegas, simply going about their day. There are gorgeous parks with ducklings and swans, and people sit by the lake, talking. And when those people go home, they cuddle with their family. They talk about their hopes and dreams. They push each other to be better people.”

“Fuck,” I croaked. The word came out twisted from my vocal chords, caught deep inside of me. “And then what?”

“They play out stories. They choose the characters that best suit them, and they try their best to live according to those rules,” Cole said. “But at the end of the day, they know that they have people they can rely on, people who know they’re only human. They share forgiveness, empathy, and respect. Most of all, they share their love.”

It was the most beautiful image I had ever pictured. I closed my eyes and watched as all of the people came together. I wanted that world more than anything. “That sounds wonderful,” I said.

“It is. And sometimes it’s horrible, but we learn to keep moving,” Cole said.

“Did you ever go to Berlin or Prague like you said?” I asked. “When you were leaving here, you said we could go to those cities.”

Cole smiled, melancholic and pure. “I went a few times to both,” Cole said. “I’ve been to every continent in the world. But in so many ways, I was moving too fast.”

“Can you move too fast? Sometimes it feels like I’m not moving at all,” I admitted.

“Of course you can. People like us don’t know how to walk. Either we stand, or we run. Eventually, you have to learn from scratch,” Cole said. “I searched around the world for happiness, but I never found anything long-lasting. Peace, though. That was something I found at times.”

“I wish I went with you. I wish I were strong enough back then. The idea of traveling around the world doesn’t even make sense to me. It seems so expansive compared to this place. But you did it, and I’m jealous. You said that people choose their character in life. Well, I’m stuck with a villain, and I’m a massive fool,” I said.

Cole stood up and offered me his hand. For some reason, he was smiling. “It takes a fool to become a magician,” Cole said, lifting me onto my feet.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said.

“I mean, that, whenever someone embarks on a new journey, they have to be a little bit foolish. Otherwise, how are you going to learn to be someone great? No one is born a free-thinking-genius, and if anyone tells you that, they’re lying for a malicious reason,” Cole said. “So come back to the house, and be a fool with me.”

I grinned and suddenly felt easier. I looked at his handsome face and the thick pink lips that draped over his mouth. Despite the looming threat of Jacob, I pushed my chin upward and kissed him.

Our lips tenderly wrapped around each other. I smelled him, I felt him, I tasted him. I kept my hands pressed against his muscular chest, hoping that he could somehow save me from this mess. And at that moment, I felt transcendent and radiant.

“Well,” Cole said, grinning. “That was unexpected.”

“It didn’t happen,” I said, walking past him. I turned my head and smiled, picking up the pace.

Cole ran after me laughing. “Yes, it did!” he yelled.

I let him catch me in his arms and lift me off my feet. I suddenly didn’t care if anybody saw us. I felt free.

Cole kissed my cheek over and over again. His hands gripped me in a way Jacob never could. Violence and hatred was such an easy way out for people. Those were lower emotions, meant to seduce people who felt low. Love and acceptance were hard to come by, but they suddenly felt achievable.

“We better be good actors tonight,” Cole said. “We don’t want anyone knowing our true feelings.”

“Yeah, but they’ll be talking. They already have. The people you saw in the park talked to Jacob. That’s why he did what he did,” I said.

“I figured. So what happens next?” Cole asked.

“I’ll be shunned for a while. Then they’ll accept me again. I’ll feel good about myself, and then I’ll work even harder for Jacob,” I said.

“The same old game,” Cole said. “It always works, doesn’t it?”

“Most of the time,” I said.

I wasn’t going to let myself do that. Now that I knew about another life, I couldn’t play their game. The thing about knowledge is that it doesn’t go away easily. Once you know, you’ll always know.

I knew. God, I knew.