Chapter 12

Heather

Nicholas walks beside me, his bare feet whispering along the sand, and his arm around my shoulders. The sun sets on the horizon, as we move between the villas, toward my own personal place.

“Tomorrow’s the last day,” he says, softly, and kisses my shoulder, right beside the red spaghetti strap that hold my dress up.

“I know,” I say. Tomorrow, one whole day and night with the man I can never have, and then it’s all over, folks. I’m not sure I can work up the courage to see him again, or rather, I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist.

He’s been my dream since I ran into him in the hall. Since I Google stalked him a year ago. God, how pathetic am I?

“Are you all right?” He stalls and drags me around to look at him, hidden behind the mask, now. “You’ve been quiet since we left the villa.”

“I’m fine,” I say. “Just hungry and tired.”

“Let’s have dinner down at the beach,” he says and brushes my hair from my neck. “Candles, wine, the wash of ocean against the sand.”

“No,” I say. “No, thank you. I’m super tired. I’d like to get a little sleep. I’ll see you first thing in the morning.” We’re only a few feet from the front of my villa.

“As you wish,” he says, and leans in for a kiss.

He still tastes like me, and it makes it that much harder to walk away. I want to be his for real. I want him to know who I am. but I’m equally terrified and guilty. This is wrong on so many levels.

Nicholas parts my lips and massages my tongue with his, deepening the kiss.

I cling to him; my knees give way and he catches me.

“Oh, sorry to interrupt,” a voice squeaks behind us. The usual unctuous tones from Becky are marred by a high pitch.

I separate from Nicholas and look over at her. “Hi,” I say, and my heart plummets. What will she say about this? We fought, sure, but she’s still my friend, and we’ll need to get past it, fast, because god knows I need some advice right now.

“Hi,” Becky replies and adjusts her mask a little. “Are you busy?” Her gaze darts to Nicholas and back to me again. “We need to talk.”

“I think we do,” I say. I squeeze Nicholas’ hand. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“The morning.” He nods but sweeps me into another tight embrace. “Assuming I can wait that long,” he breathes, into my ear.

Goosebumps chase down the back of my neck and I shiver, automatically. I kiss his jaw – it’s the only bit of skin on his face I can access – and fight off a fresh wave of guilt. It feels perfect, like it was meant to be.

Finally, I step away from him and move toward the entrance to my villa. I glance back and he stands there, hands in his pockets, watching me.

Becky falls in beside me. “So that’s the mystery man, eh?”

I remain quiet. If I talk now, it will all come tumbling out before I can figure a way to word it right. Ugh, not that there’s any manner in which to word this right.

“I’m sorry, Heather,” she says, softly, but I still look over my shoulder to make sure he hasn’t heard.

Nicholas is gone. The spot where he’d stood is empty and all I’m greeted by is a view of the ocean in the distance, reflecting glimmers of orange.

“Let’s talk inside,” I say and open the front door of my villa. We enter and I click on the lights, nerves building by the second.

She’s going to think you’re crazy.

Why do I even care what she thinks? She’s the one who suggested this trip, and the one who insulted me because I took advantage of the opportunity she offered.

I shut the door and walk through to the tiny kitchenette at the opposite end of the room. “Water?” I pour myself a glass.

“No, I’m good,” Becky says, and removes her mask. “These things are way too hot after a while.” She gestures with it, then tosses it on the coffee table. “I can’t stand this for much longer. Like, the experience is amazing but the heat is too much. I just want to rip my mask off and be free.”

I down the water and set the glass down on the counter.

“Heather, I’ll apologize again,” she says. “I know I freaked out earlier but it was only because I care about you. I guess, I’m just worried you’ll get hurt and I feel a certain amount of responsibility for the fact that you’re here and that you lost your virginity here. I wanted this to be fun for both of us, but I’m also afraid you’ll end up regretting it.”

God, shots fired. Regret swirls through me as we speak, after all. Regret and desire – like it or not, I still want Nicholas.

“I found out something,” I say. “I found out something that’s changed things a little.”

“What is it?” Becky frowns and scooches to the edge of her seat. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I guess, I’m fine. Actually, no, I’m not. This is serious. It’s bad, and I don’t know quite how to handle it.”

“What’s up?”

“I slept with Jake’s dad,” I say.

Becky’s eyes almost pop out of her skull. She stares at me as if I’ve lost my damn mind.

I finally pull off my mask and toss it aside, wipe sweat from my cheeks. “His mask slipped off while we were in the act.”

“Oh,” Becky says, and she relaxes back against the cushions. “Oh, okay. It was accidental. That’s not your fault. How were you supposed to know that it was him? How could anyone have known?”

I can’t bring myself to tell her the truth. I knew it was him and I continued anyway.

“As long as you don’t see him again, it’s fine,” Becky says.

I shake my head. “I have to see him again. Tomorrow. He asked me to meet him. It’s – it’s the last day, Becky.”

“So?! Are you kidding? Like, I know we’ve just made up again but if you’re going to be irrational, I can’t help you. This is Jake’s dad. Do you have any idea how fucked up that is?” Becky folds her arms and glares at me.

“Dude, of course I know how fucked up it is, but it’s not like I planned it. Besides, I can’t stop now. He doesn’t know who I am. If I blow him off, it will look weird,” I say.

“So? There’s nothing he can do about it.”

I chew on the words I’m about to spit out. “And maybe I don’t want it to end like this. Maybe I actually like him.”

“Like him?! He’s your ex’s dad. And you know how much Jake’s father cares about him. He talks about it all the time. His single dad who gave him the world and will do anything for him. Do you really think you can come between them? Jake will be humiliated.”

Humiliated, not crushed.

“Jake cheated on me!” I snap. “He didn’t really give a fuck about me or he’d have broken up with me before diving into someone else’s bed.”

“That doesn’t justify this,” Becky replies, evenly. She’s red-faced and ready to explode – I’ve lived with her long enough to identify the clues. “I can’t – I’m not going to fight with you again. But I can’t talk about this with you. It’s sick.”

“It’s not sick,” I whisper.

That actually hurts. Thinking that what I’ve shared with Nicholas is sick is physically painful. He’s my first. The first man I’ve slept with and the first man I’ve connected with in this way.

Becky rises from the sofa, arms still folded. “I’m going to go. We’ll talk about this when it’s over. When you’ve come to your senses.”

“I don’t need to come to my senses. I know what I want,” I say, and the truth of it strikes at my heart. “I want Nicholas.” Perhaps, a part of me has always wanted him, since that first run-in in the hallway outside Jake’s room. “I know it’s not exactly orthodox, but I don’t care.”

Becky massages frown lines on her forehead. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

My roommate walks out and slams the door shut behind her, and I’m along again. Alone with nothing but the mask for company, and thoughts of how I’ll handle tomorrow.

My last day with Nicholas.