Chapter 4: Gavin
Jenny and Corabelle spend a lot of time together making sure Tina’s wedding will be nice, since Tina isn’t crazy about the whole production.
I take the opportunity to work extra hours at Bud’s. I want to take Corabelle somewhere nice to celebrate the adjunct job. I’m so proud of her. She’ll be teaching her own class pretty much the moment she has her master’s.
I don’t have those sorts of aspirations. I like working at Bud’s. It’s steady work and I’m friends with the people there. I know I’ll have to figure out the next step when I get my degree, but that seems far off still. Corabelle deciding the baby should wait after all has taken the pressure off.
The stacks of old worn tires are three deep in the back room and getting in the way, so I volunteer to load them into the recycling bin. It’s a real chore, rolling or lugging them out behind the shop and pitching them into the metal bin that gets picked up every month.
The task is below my pay grade, and I should be making Barry, the garage grunt, do it. But I haven’t had as much time to lift weights since I moved in with Corabelle, and tossing tires is pretty much the best workout you can get paid for.
The garage is quieter than usual, so I’ve got time to step away from the mechanic bays. The sun beams down, and I feel pretty fine as I flex and let another tire fly over the rim of the bin to land with a thud inside.
My phone buzzes. I tug it out of my pocket. It’s Corabelle. Wonder what she’s up to? She’s supposed to be with Jenny.
She sounds a little upset as she asks, “Did you hear from Rosa?”
It’s not her favorite topic. Rosa is the mother of Manuel, a little boy she raised without telling me he was mine. She’s from Mexico. I was too stupid back then to know my vasectomy didn’t work right away.
“Yes,” I tell her. “Looks like we’re on for June. Just in time for Tina’s wedding.”
Her next words don’t quite match her tone. I can tell she’s distraught over something. “I’m so glad, Gavin. It will be good to see him.”
“Are you okay, Corabelle?” I ask. I’m not sure if this is about Rosa or if it’s been hard for her to be around Jenny’s baby. I can hear her friend calling to her in the background.
“Hold on, Gavin, Jenny’s running at me. We’ve been making Tina’s wedding stars,” she says.
I listen in as she asks Jenny what’s going on.
I can’t hear what Jenny responds.
The sun bears down on me. The air smells of tires and asphalt and oil.
Corabelle’s breath changes, her breathing hard.
“Corabelle,” I say. “Everything okay?” I know it’s not, but I’m not sure what I can do. I start walking to the shop to tell Bud I’m leaving. I think Corabelle needs me.
She doesn’t answer, so I poke my head through the opening to the pit. “Mario, can you sign me out? I’ve got to go.”
He nods. I was an extra on hand today anyway.
Bud comes out in his overalls, wiping his hands on a towel. “You all right?” he asks.
“Not sure,” I say and just walk away. I can clue them in later. Once I know myself. I keep the phone pressed to my ear. “Corabelle, are you at Jenny’s? I’ll come get you.”
“No,” she finally says. “I mean, yes, you should come, but you don’t need to get me.”
I’m so relieved to hear her say something finally. “What’s going on, baby? Can you tell me?”
She hesitates, then says. “I took a pregnancy test. Jenny had one. Leftover. We were just being silly.”
My heart thuds. She wouldn’t mention this unless it was important. Still, I have to ask. “How did it turn out?”
I flash back to that day, so many years ago, when she peed on the stick in the bathroom of her parents’ house. We were teens. Scared. But we decided we could do it. We’d make it work.
“It’s positive, Gavin. We already did it. It’s already there.”
Thankfully, there’s a bench three steps away, so I sit on it.
For a moment, my head is just empty, like all my thoughts flew out.
Then the cartoon sperm fill my head, wiggling around, flexing their biceps. So much for doctors. We’d been using condoms for a few weeks, so it had to be that first day, on the rock.
We were about to do everything all over again. I don’t know if she’s happy about it or not, given the job. Given Finn.
“You feeling okay?” I ask her.
“I think so.”
“You scared?” I ask.
“Petrified.” She gives a shaky laugh.
“Me too,” I say. My brain is bringing up scenes from the past like my life is flashing before my eyes. Corabelle at her parents’ house. The test. Her belly swelling. Her water breaking. The hospital. The incubator. The funeral.
I grip the arm of the bench. The metal is hot but I don’t let go. It’s reality. It grounds me.
“We’re going to have a baby, Gavin,” she says. I can hear the tears in her voice.
“We are, we really are,” I say. My own voice cracks. So much to think about. I can barely hold it all in.
“I’m coming over,” I say to her. “Stay right where you are.”
“Okay,” Corabelle says. “I’ll be waiting for you. We both will. Me and this baby.”
I remember all the pictures we looked at the first time, the kidney bean turning into a shrimp, then a miniature baby, then a balled-up infant barely fitting in the tight space. All that had already begun.
Life sure is turning on a dime lately.
And here we go again.