Chapter Six
How Sacha managed to function over the next several days was beyond him. He’d turned up for work each day and locked himself away in his office, avoiding everyone. He didn’t want to see or speak to anyone. He’d managed to get to work each day, and as far as he was concerned, that was a major fucking achievement.
When he’d had to attend meetings, he rarely contributed and didn’t interact with anyone present, leaving as soon as the meeting was over.
He struggled every single day just to get out of bed. He wanted to waste away, so he didn’t have to face his lonely existence now his Jared was gone. His body was a heavyweight he dragged around, and he wanted to cut it loose so he could float away and never feel again.
Sometimes, he would sit in his chair for hours at a time and have no recollection of where the time had gone. He knew he was losing weight; his clothes felt looser and, as a vampire, that was the last thing he needed. Soon, his vampire side would take over, and he would hunt, not caring who the donor was and if they were willing or not.
Not that Sacha cared. He merely shuffled from one place to the next or sat staring at the photos that littered the place. Pictures of him and Jared. He’d have to take them down soon and pack up Jared’s things.
There were times he’d find himself in Jared’s room, lying on his bed and holding his pillow, smelling his scent. Or standing by his window and staring off into space, not paying attention to anything.
His house and office were a mess, but Sacha didn’t care, not when his chest was so hollow. His heart had been ripped out and just an empty space was left behind.
He was tired, so very tired, and he didn’t know if he could go on like this, wasn’t sure if he cared enough to want to or not.
His father had noticed. Of course, he would notice, and now Sacha was on his way to his office, dragging his tired and weary body. Alessio had demanded a meeting, and no excuses had changed his mind.
Sacha wasn’t looking forward to it. He didn’t want to tell him Jared had walked away. There had been no contact since the moment the door had slammed shut behind him, and every day, Sacha’s heart broke a little more, and with it, his hope for the future.
He closed his father’s office door behind him and sat on the chair, waiting for his father to finish his call. He stared at his clasped hands, rubbing his thumbs together. A soothing touch he desperately needed. If only his mate could provide it.
“Sacha, you look like shit.”
Sacha snorted out a laugh and raised his eyes to his father’s. “Thanks.”
“I don’t need to ask how it went.”
Sacha shook his head and mumbled, “No.”
“I’m so sorry, son.” Alessio came around the desk and knelt next to Sacha.
Sacha looked at him, his eyes itching as they filled with tears. “My mate doesn’t want me.”
Alessio pulled him into his arms, and the dam broke. Sacha cried, not caring if anyone outside could hear his pain. He gripped his father’s shirt in his hands and wept. All the pain and anguish he’d kept locked away the last few days came pouring out, and through it all, his father held him.
He didn’t know how long he sat and cried for, but some time later, he raised his head, and Alessio stroked a hand over his face, wiping away the tears.
“Sacha, my son.”
“He left. He packed a bag and left. He was angry that I hadn’t told him earlier.”
Nodding, Alessio stood, groaning and rubbing his knees. Sitting in the chair next to Sacha, he asked, “Has he been in touch since he left?”
“Nothing.”
Nodding again, Alessio said, “Give him time. I know it’s easy for me to say, but he needs time to accept what you’ve told him. Come home. Spend a few days with your mother and me. Let us take care of you.”
“I’m alright-”
“Sacha. You’re not. When was the last time you showered? Ate or fed?”
“I know I’m a mess right now, but I’m really okay. I’ll go home, shower, eat, and then feed.”
“Spend a few days with us. Let your family care for you,” Alessio said.
“Father-”
Sacha’s cell rang. He glanced at the screen and sucked in a sharp breath. Jared.
He glanced at Alessio then back at his cell. Alessio said, “Answer it. Your mate is calling.”
Sacha fumbled with his cell but managed to press the answer button. “Hello.”
“Sacha, it’s Jared.”
“Yeah, your name came up.”
“Oh yeah.” Silence, and then, “Look, er, are you free for lunch?”
Sacha looked at Alessio, his eyes widening. “You want to have lunch?” Alessio smiled and nodded his head. “Yeah, that would be good,” Sacha spoke slowly. He wasn’t sure where this was going.
“That nice little Italian near where you work. See you there at one.”
“Yeah, one.”
He hung up and stared at the cell in his hand. “Lunch at one.”
“That gives you thirty minutes to sort yourself out. Go downstairs and feed. The last thing you need is to see your mate and bite him because of the emotional stress and lack of self-care.”
“Father-”
“We keep blood here for other vampires, so make use of it.”
Nodding, Sacha stood. “Thank you, Father.”
Alessio hugged him and Sacha embraced him back. His father had always been there for him. Always.
“I’m your father, and I’m here whenever you need me and sometimes when you don’t.”
They shared a smile and Sacha left. He was meeting his mate, and for the first time in days, he felt a little ray of hope.
❊❊❊
Walking into the restaurant, Sacha found Jared already seated and waiting for him. He paused, staring at him, his breathing increasing. They needed to talk. Sacha needed to know what Jared wanted. He swallowed and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and slowly walked over to him.
Jared gave him a tight, close-lipped smile as he sat opposite him, and the silence that developed was heavy and uncomfortable. Sacha glanced over Jared’s face, noticing his pale skin and the dark circles under his eyes.
Sacha glanced around the restaurant, seeing other people sitting down and eating their food. Tables scattered around the room with a few booths along one side and even though he was sitting with his mate, for a moment, Sacha wished he was somewhere else.
The large windows allowed diners to see out and Sacha watched people rushing past, going about their day. God, he wished he was there instead.
“So,” Jared murmured across the table.
Sacha glanced over at him. “So, how’s your arm?
“It’s fine.” Leaning his elbows on the table, Jared gave him an intense stare. “Tell me why you didn’t tell me.” He frowned at his own words and tried again. “Why did you keep it a secret?”
“Is there really any point in going over this again?” Sacha asked wearily. He didn’t have the strength to go through it all. “Are you staying or going? That’s all I need to know.”
Jared pursed his lips, glancing away then back at him. “I’ve missed you, and I don’t know if that’s because you’re my mate or my friend.”
Shrugging, Sacha said, “Maybe it’s both.”
“Is it?
Leaning on the table and closing the distance between them, Sacha whispered, “How the fuck would I know? I don’t know any mated couples.”
“I do,” Jared whispered back. “And I’ve spent the last few days with them, learning about mates and everything that goes with it.”
“What? That I’ll have to have your blood once we’re mated?” Sacha scoffed. “Thanks, but I already know that.”
“That we will live longer. Decades longer.” Sacha blinked, surprised. “That I’ll get stronger, faster. We’ll be able to communicate telepathically. You know about the physical shit already.”
“Decades?” Sacha sat back, his eyes widening. He opened his mouth and then closed it. “Decades,” he said in a quieter voice.
“Yes, decades.” Jared paused, and then asked, “Have you fed?”
Sacha sat up straight. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look it. I can see how thin you are. Have you been eating?” Then in a lower voice, “Feeding?”
“I really don’t think that’s any of your business now, do you?”
“You’re still my friend.”
Sacha snorted, shaking his head. “Am I? After everything, I’m still your friend.”
“Sacha, please. I haven’t come here to argue-”
“Can I get you some drinks?”
Both men looked up at the waitress and ordered, and when she left, Jared continued. “I’m not here to argue, Sacha. I only want answers.”
Sacha said nothing, avoiding Jared’s intense stare and looking around the restaurant again, staring at the pictures hanging on the walls.
“Sacha, why didn’t you tell me?” Jared asked softly.
Sacha closed his eyes and breathed in, feeling his shoulders slump. He opened them and looked into Jared’s eyes. “I was scared.”
“Ten years, Sacha.”
“I’m sorry.”
Jared didn’t respond, and they sat in silence. The waitress came with their drinks and Sacha hastily sipped his coffee. He needed to be doing something with his hands. He needed some form of distraction from the heaviness around them.
“What now?”
Sacha slowly raised his eyes to Jared’s. “I don’t know.” He swallowed, and then added, “I love you. It might not be what you want to hear, but I do. I’ve loved you for years...” Trailing off, Sacha squeezed his eyes shut, feeling them itch and burn, tears threatening to fall. He refused to let them fall. He’d cried enough over Jared.
“You should have told me,” Jared said softly, his hand reaching out to touch Sacha.
Sacha snatched his hand away and turned his head to the side, facing the wall, struggling to control his emotions. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to lose you. You love women.”
“I know what I like, Sacha, you don’t have to tell me. Shit, all those years watching me-”
“Are you ready to order?”
Jared coughed and answered, “Yes, thanks. Two steaks, one rare, the other medium rare, fries and the greens, please.”
Sacha sat and said nothing, letting Jared order for them. When the waitress left, the silence descended again.
“You need to eat and feed.”
Ignoring the statement, Sacha asked, “What now?”
“I don’t know. You lied to me, Sacha. For years. It might not have been an outright lie, but you kept something important a secret. I had a right to know that I’m your mate. Seeing Donnie and Jeremy together made me realize just how important mates are. The connection between them is almost visible-”
“I know.”
“- that’s how you always know when I’m injured. What about other emotions?”
“You mean sex.”
Jared blushed but nodded. “Yeah.”
“No, I can’t. Pain. Happiness. Like when you’ve completed a mission successfully.”
“But we haven’t bonded.” Jared frowned. “How can you feel them?”
Sacha sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “Remember that time I fell and hit my head?”
Jared’s eyes widened. “Yeah. Shit. You drank my blood.”
Sacha glared at him. “I didn’t want to, remember.”
“And now I know why. What, it deepened things between us?”
Sacha sat back, folding his arms across his chest. “We’re not mated, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“What if I want to be?”
Sacha stared at him. “What?”
“What if I want us to be mated?”
“Are you fucking with me?”
“Not yet.” Jared smirked. Leaning back, he added, “I’ve fucked men, Sacha. I have leaned more towards women in recent years, and I think that was because I was your mate and the bond was doing something. Women were easier, but something was always missing and that something was you.”
Their food arrived at that moment, and Sacha sat in surprised silence. Jared had fucked men? Why didn’t he know this? Why hadn’t Jared said anything to him?
“Eat your food, Sacha.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Yeah, you are. We need to sort things out between us but...”
Sacha looked up when he trailed off. “But?”
“When we leave here, we’re going home, and we are going to fuck, and you are going to bite me.”
“You want us to bond?”
“Yes, so you need your strength.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ve decided, mate. Now, eat.”