CHAPTER 18
JOSIE
My palms are sweating.
I’m watching the clock.
The minute hand is moving ungodly slow. Every tick echo’s throughout the shop. I sent Jenna home early because she kept laughing at me and none of this is funny. I would’ve called and told him that I’d walk home but I don’t have his number and it’s not like I can call directory assistance for Liam Page’s freaking number.
They’d laugh at me just like Jenna has all day. Except they would probably cackle because directory service is usually old women who have nothing better to do except give people like me a hard time when you ask for something totally and completely stupid.
Oh god. This is like high school all over again.
Every time I heard a motorcycle outside I ran to the window and when Jenna snickered I pretended to straighten something out. I hate her today.
I wipe my hands on my jeans for the millionth time. He should be here any moment and I’ll tell him I can’t ride with him because I have no helmet and those are required and even if they weren’t I wouldn’t get on that death trap. He might kill me for keeping Noah from him. I mean that seems logical, right?
The door chimes and before I can turn and greet the customer, I smell his cologne. I take a deep breath before turning around. I don’t know why but this feels like a date when it’s so not a date. I mean I’m engaged to another man and we’re going to get married and I can’t date Liam regardless of our history. I need to turn off my brain.
When I finally lay my eyes on him, he’s delicious, all six feet of him. He’s not wearing the black leather jacket I’ve grown accustomed to and once again I find myself staring at his arms. My mind wanders up his left arm and then his right. My fingers want to reach out and trace the ink. My heart wants to know if they hurt, if he wants more.
He’s allowing me to stare at him, drink him in and I think I realize that this might be the last time I see him. He may not want to tell Noah that he’s his dad. Hell, he may not want to even know Noah past this trip. I’m not sure I want that.
“Are you ready, Jojo?” My heart soars and it shouldn’t. I should tell him not to call me that, but I don’t. He’s watching my every move, waiting for me to freak out on him.
“I can walk,” I mumble.
Liam rolls his eyes and shakes his head. When he reaches for my hand I let him take it. As soon as he touches me, it’s like a thousand butterflies fluttering over my skin. I haven’t felt this way in years. I take two steps toward him, leaving just a small space between us. In a few short minutes I’ll be touching him and I may not want to stop.
My mind is foggy, but I need to keep my senses clear. I remind myself that I’m an engaged woman. The man before me, this sexy beautiful man who is taking my hand in his like he’s done so many times before, is the same man that broke my heart.
He lets go of my hand as soon as we're outside. I want to reach for him, but I know it’s not the right thing to do. He holds a helmet in his hand and smiles when he shows it to me.
“I got this for you,” he says before slipping it over my head. He’s still smiling when he fixes my hair on the outside. I’m smiling too, but he can’t see me. “Where do you live?”
I give him my address and watch as he swings his leg over and straddles his bike. “Put your hand on my shoulder and bring your leg over.” I do as he says. Once I’m situated he puts on his helmet and starts his bike. The vibration sends chills up my spine and I know now why women love a man with a motorcycle.
He reaches behind and pulls my hands forward, wrapping them around his torso. My front is pressed up against his back and this is just like I imagined it would be. I rest my chin, as much as I can, on his shoulder and I can feel his body relax before putting his bike into gear.
He drives down Main Street, maintaining the speed limit, taking each turn to my house with ease. I never thought I’d feel so safe on a motorcycle.
He pulls into the driveway and turns off the bike. He removes his helmet and helps me get off first. When I pull off my helmet he starts laughing and shaking his head.
“What the hell is your problem?” I ask as I start patting down my hair. This just proves why I should never wear a helmet.
“Nothing, I’ve just imagined you a million times sitting behind me, but never did I imagine you’d flip your hair back and forth when you took off the helmet.”
“You’ve imagined me on your bike?” I ask my voice barely above a whisper. He nods and puts the kickstand down so he can get off.
“You’re the first girl I’ve ever let ride with me.” He steps closer, his fingers move a strand of hair way from my face, curling it behind my ear. “The only one, Jojo.” He steps away, giving me some much needed space. I need to understand what just happened.
He follows me into the house, through the door leading to the kitchen and dining room. He looks around, taking in my small home. Nick says we can move after we’re married, but Noah and I have lived here since I left school. Not sure I want to move just yet.
Noah comes running out of his room and hugs Liam. I leave them to have their moment and move into the kitchen and start preparing dinner. I made most of it last night so Liam could spend as much time as possible with Noah.
“Noah, did you finish your homework?”
“No, can I finish it after Liam leaves?”
“Can I see your homework? Maybe I can help.” Noah runs up to his room, his footsteps heavy and solid.
“Hey, Noah?” I yell.
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you play a game or something for a few minutes, I need to talk to Liam.”
“Okay,” he yells back. The TV turns on instantly, loud with some auto racing game.
“Thank you for this, Josie.”
I smile and nod, not sure how to respond.
“I’m supposed to leave tomorrow, but Noah says he has a game on Friday and I really don’t want to miss it.”
I turn on the oven and place dinner inside to heat up. I motion for Liam to sit at the table. He pulls out my chair for me, something Nick has never done. I sit down, clasping my hands in front of me.
“Did you really not know?” I ask. I hate asking, but I need to know. Liam shakes his head, his eyes focusing on something… anything but me. When he meets my eyes, I can see the pain, he’s telling the truth.
“I found your agent or whatever and called,” I start, hating that I have to relive this time of my life. A time when I felt so desperate to reach him, when I needed him the most and he wasn’t there. “I left message after message until someone finally called back and said that you told them that you didn’t know me.”
Liam reaches for my hand. He pulls it to his forehead. “I didn’t know. I would’ve come home and done things the right way.”
“Noah doesn’t know. He knows that Nick isn’t his dad, but sometimes it’s just easier for him to tell people that he is. I don’t want him hurt, Liam and I’m afraid that if I let this happen you’ll disappear tomorrow.”
“I won’t. I know my word is shit to you, but I’ll do anything to prove it. I want to be his dad. He’s supposed to be ours, Jojo, and I fucked that up.”
I can’t keep the tears at bay when he says things like this. No wonder he’s a freaking song writer and makes millions of women fall in love with his music.
“We can tell him tonight, if you want—”
“I want to, but—”
“No, Liam, no buts. I just told you I don’t want him hurt.”
“It’s not like that. I have to go back to L.A. and I was going to leave tomorrow, but he asked me to come to his game so I cleared my schedule for the week so I can stay and see him play. I'll have to go back for work, but once he knows, I can come back once a month to see him. We can figure out the rest from there.”
I knew his lifestyle would dictate how much of a dad he was going to be. I’m not sure if I thought he’d move back here or not.
“I know,” I say softly. I want to say what about me, but I have Nick and he’s been really great to me and Noah. “I’ll go get Noah so he can start hating me.” Liam reaches for my hand, pulling me back down.
“He won’t hate you; I won’t allow it.” I nod and release his hand. I take a moment to compose myself before calling for Noah. He comes thundering down with a smile on his face. He looks just like Liam when he smiles.
Liam looks up when we walk into the room. If I didn’t know better I’d think that he’d been crying. We sit down, Noah in between us. He looks at Liam, then me, smiling.
“We’ve got something to tell you.”