With Nick working the evenings and me working during the day, there wasn’t a lot of time for us to see one another. I knew I could visit him at the bar, but what was developing between us seemed too new and fragile for me to become his personal barfly.
But that didn’t mean he was MIA after he left my place Thursday morning.
He texted that night when he arrived at Mona’s, and checked in on Friday when he got up, which was a lot earlier than I thought for someone who worked until one in the morning. Then again, now that I knew he had his grandfather to watch over, he was probably operating on minimal sleep.
Saturday night I’d done what was a first for me. I texted Nick before I went to bed. I’d done so giggling like I was sixteen, and his answering text left a smile on my face.
While you’re sleeping, I’m thinking about breakfast.
I so knew what he meant.
For nearly four days I’d been thinking about “breakfast” and when I could get a second helping, and those thoughts intruded at the most inopportune times. Like when Marcus was rattling off a list of things I needed to do or when Deanna from HR joined me for lunch on Friday. While she’d been talking about her daughter’s recent engagement, my thoughts had pranced into uncharted territory. I was wondering what it felt like to go to sleep and wake up in bed with Nick.
This was something I never really spent a lot of time thinking about.
Thankfully, the nausea hadn’t gotten any worse as the pregnancy progressed. At six weeks pregnant, it was still there, but I grew used to what I now considered a low-alert need to vomit. I knew that I was lucky, because some women had horrific morning sickness. From what I gathered the day I’d found out Avery was pregnant, she was one of those pour souls who spent the better part of the afternoon hurling.
My mom was convinced my pregnancy would be like hers—relatively easy—and I hoped that was the case. Maybe if I didn’t miss any time leading up to when I’d need maternity leave, my boss wouldn’t flip a lid as much.
But that didn’t mean Mom wasn’t worried. When I had chatted with her on Saturday, she tentatively asked if I’d given any thought to the future and if I was making any plans. The question jarred me. Beyond keeping the baby and working at getting to know Nick better and possibly being with him, I hadn’t made any plans outside of my doctor’s first appointment.
When Mom realized this, she told me that I had time, but there was no mistaking the underlying thread of worry in her voice, and that anxiety transformed over to me. What was I missing? I made my first appointment. I was taking prenatal vitamins and eating the right foods.
Well, I was also eating some wrong foods, but the struggle was really with my Cheez-It Party Mix.
Obviously, I hadn’t picked up a single drink since I found out, and I’d cut way back on the caffeine intake. But what else could I plan? It was too early to get obsessed with baby clothes or to start picking out baby furniture.
And the thought of baby furniture led to another major stressor.
Where in the world would I put a crib and all that jazz? In my walk-in closet? That sounded like child neglect or something.
As I drove to meet up with Katie and Roxy on Sunday morning, I came to the shaky realization that I was going to have to move again. I needed a two-bedroom. Maybe not immediately, but my one-bedroom wasn’t big enough to have everything the baby would need. I could afford a two-bedroom, but it would be stretching it. Definitely not comfortably.
But I wasn’t alone.
I remembered that as I parked the car, my grip easing on the steering wheel. Even our relationship never progressed beyond the physical, Nick would help me—help us.
The panic receded as I briskly walked toward the restaurant, chin down against the chill. Katie and Roxy were in their normal seats, and I joined them, rubbing my hands together to burn away the chill.
“I was wondering if you got lost.” Katie arched a blond brow.
I shot her a look. “I’m wondering if you know how cold it is outside.”
Roxy laughed as she eyed Katie’s getup. The latter was wearing magenta—not purple, but really magenta—colored overalls. Underneath them was a sparkly baby blue sports bra.
“Do they make sports bras with sparkles?” I asked.
“What? I wish. Do you know how much easier my life would be?” Katie stuck out a glossy bottom lip. “I spend at least an hour a day bedazzling shit and using a hot glue gun.”
My brows rose as I exchanged a look with Roxy.
“I’ve had severe hot glue gun burns. In places you do not even want to know about.”
“Wait.” Roxy pushed her glasses up. “I do want to know.”
I wasn’t sure I did.
“Sometimes you have to be wearing the clothes to make sure the embellishments look right,” Katie explained, quite seriously. “It’s not like they sell bathing suits with diamonds organized in the shape of a cock on the ass.”
My jaw unhinged, and immediately I pictured those bottoms and knew I’d never get that out of my head. Ever.
“Okay then.” Roxy smacked her hands off the table and quickly changed the subject. Drinks arrived and then our food was placed down. The steam was still rising off my omelet when Roxy’s shrewd gaze landed on me. “So what’s going on with you and Nick?”
I paused, a forkful of eggs and peppers halfway to my mouth. Roxy and I texted on and off, and she stopped over if I was home when she was visiting Reece, but I hadn’t talked to her about Nick or about the pregnancy. I wanted to, boy did I ever want to, because I wanted to tell someone other than Nick or my mom, but Roxy worked with Nick, and that changed things.
“What do you mean, what’s going on?” I asked.
Katie stabbed a piece of sausage. “What she means is that Nick hasn’t hooked up with another chick since you strolled into Mona’s.”
Thank God I’d swallowed my food, because I was sure I would’ve choked upon hearing Katie’s blunt remark, but a deep, almost unsettling relief uncoiled in the pit of my stomach. Whether Nick was still messing around with other people was something I hadn’t allowed myself to even think about. A tiny part of me hadn’t thought he was, but there were no labels between us, and even though he was attracted to me and we were linked together by this baby, that didn’t mean he was settling down.
Roxy smiled slightly as she picked up a piece of bacon. “I can see that you’re happy to hear that.”
I opened my mouth, about to deny it, but suddenly I was tired of pretending. And that’s what I was doing. It was bigger than just letting my friends in, sharing my life with them. Sooner or later they were going to find out the truth.
Nervousness made my stomach queasy. I wasn’t sure how they’d respond to what I was going to tell them. I also wasn’t sure how Nick would really respond, when it got down to it. “We have . . . stayed in touch,” I said.
Roxy’s look turned bland. “Yeah, I know that.”
Waving half a piece of sausage around, Katie snorted. “In other words, you’ve been screwing each other’s brains out?”
“Actually, no.” What he had done Thursday morning didn’t count. “We haven’t had sex since the first time.”
Katie dropped the sausage. “A pig just flew past the window.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Really?” Roxy sounded surprised.
Nodding, I cut another piece of omelet with my fork. “No. Okay. Well, we’ve messed around—once,” I added, when a knowing gleam filled Roxy’s eyes. “And that was just a few days ago.”
“Holy crapola, girl, I don’t know any girl that Nick has hung out with after having sex with them and they’ve—”
“It’s because he’s fallen for her,” Katie interrupted as she picked up her fallen sausage. No sausage left behind, that girl. “So he’ll do all kinds of things he hasn’t done before.”
I slid her a sidelong glance. “Is that your psychic stripper powers at work again?”
“Damn skippy.”
I grinned as I shook my head. “We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend. I don’t know what we are. Actually, that’s not really true.”
“What does that mean?” Roxy brought her glass to her mouth.
“We’re going to be a mom and dad in approximately seven and a half months. Roughly.” I dropped the bomb like someone would drop a mic.
Tea sprayed into air, luckily in the direction of the aisle. I smacked my hand over my mouth, stifling my giggle as Katie sat there and stared at me. Guess her psychic stripper abilities hadn’t enabled her to foresee that.
Once Roxy recovered from becoming a human geyser, she whipped off her glasses, lowering them to the table. “Are you screwing around with me right now?”
I shook my head.
Katie still stared at me.
“You are being totally serious?” When I nodded, Roxy sat back. “Oh my God.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You’re pregnant?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling weakly as I placed my fork on my plate. Appetite gone, I struggled to keep the smile plastered on my face, but it was hard. The reaction to Avery’s pregnancy was vastly different from mine. Like two different continents different. I nibbled on my lower lip, my brows knitted. “I know Nick and I aren’t together. Maybe we will be one day. I don’t know. I’m kind of hoping that’s the case, but right now we’re working at . . . getting to know each other, but we decided to do this.”
Katie’s mouth popped open but she didn’t say anything.
I lowered my gaze, at once very unsure of what I’d just done. Maybe I should’ve kept my mouth shut. “I’d missed a couple of pills while I was moving, and the condom broke,” I said, feeling the need to explain so they didn’t think I just ran around having unprotected sex. “I know it’s not traditional and—”
“Wait.” Roxy raised her hands. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m just shocked. I didn’t expect you to say that. I don’t think anything is wrong, and I can tell you think that’s how we feel. We don’t.” She glanced at Katie. “Right?”
“Right,” Katie said. “I don’t even think my mom knew who my dad was.”
Roxy’s brows knitted.
“When I was little, I was convinced that my dad worked for the CIA, and that was why I never met him. He was like a spy or something,” Katie continued as I bit down on the inside of my cheek. “Then I realized it was like one of the three possible guys and none of them were spies. Unless they were a spy when it came to finding the nearest bar.”
“Um. Okay.” Roxy blinked, returning her attention to me. “What we’re trying to say is that we’re just surprised, but we’re not judging you or Nick.”
My spine was still stiff. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” Contrite, Roxy leaned forward. “And I’m so, so sorry if I gave you that impression. Really.”
I nodded, wanting to believe her, but it was hard to forget the excitement when Avery announced her news, compared to the absolute shock clearly written on Roxy’s and Katie’s faces when I told them I was pregnant. Drawing in a deep breath, I decided to let it go.
“Are you guys happy about it?” Katie asked, as blunt as ever.
The flutter returned to my chest. “Yeah, we . . . we are. As strange as that sounds, we are happy about it. It was a shock, but we’re getting used to it.” I paused, and my next words sort of just rushed out in a jumbled mess. “Nick did this thing Wednesday night when he came over to see me. He asked if he could, you know, place his hand on my stomach, and when he did . . .” My cheeks started to heat. “He said he felt close to the baby, and I . . .”
“Turned to goo?” Roxy said, eyes unfocused. “Because that’s what I would’ve done.”
“Jumped on him and ripped his clothes off?” asked Katie. “Because that’s what I would’ve done.”
I laughed softly. “I think my ovaries exploded, but I kind of just sat there. It was . . . there really aren’t words when it comes to how that feels, I guess.”
“Wow,” Roxy said after a few moments. “I can’t believe Nick is going to have a kid. That you’re going to have a kid.”
“He’ll be a great father,” I immediately said.
Her eyes met mine and she nodded seriously. “Yeah, he will be.”
I wondered if she knew about his grandfather, but if not, I didn’t feel it was my place to tell. The rest of the conversation centered around all things baby—crazy baby talk. Like if I wanted a boy or a girl. Did I have a name picked out yet? Who knew?
Katie wanted to be the godmother.
I had no idea how to respond to that—to any of what they were saying.
“You know what this reminds me of,” Katie said while we waited for our checks. “That movie Knocked Up. Except you’re less annoying than that one chick and Nick is definitely more attractive than that guy.”
The skin around Roxy’s eyes crinkled as she laughed. “Did they end up together in the end?”
It had been many years since I’d seen the movie, so I couldn’t remember, but as dumb as it sounded, I hoped so. Even far more bizarre, as we got up to leave, I kept thinking about what Katie had said more than once. That I would break Nick’s heart.
I scoffed at the notion, because seriously, but nevertheless, an odd sense of unease settled in the pit of my stomach. Once in the car, I pulled out my cell and typed out a text to Nick that I wasn’t sure he would be that thrilled about.
I told Roxy and Katie.
“You’re going to think it’s the most boring thing ever,” Nick said, after I asked him what he studied in college. “It actually is probably the most boring thing ever. Accounting.”
A startled laugh left me as I watched him. He was cooking me dinner.
That had been his response after I told him that I’d dropped the bomb on Roxy and Katie. He’d pretty much said, “Hey, I’m making you dinner tonight. Hope you like roasted chicken.”
I liked food in general, so I was excited.
I also liked Nick . . . in general, so this also excited me.
“That is boring,” I replied. “I never would’ve guessed it.”
“I’ve always had a knack for numbers. Seemed like the logical thing to do. I have a bachelor’s degree. Was thinking of taking online classes for an MBA— Wait,” Nick said as he paused, a serial-killer-sized knife in his hand. On the counter was a head of lettuce, a tomato, and a cucumber. “What are you doing?”
I was standing by the counter with my forearms pressed against my breasts. Apparently I’d forgotten I wasn’t alone. Slowly, I lowered my arms. “My . . . my breasts are tingly. Like really tingly. It’s kind of distracting.”
He placed the knife on the counter as his lashes dropped. “Yeah, it’s distracting.”
“Sorry?”
One side of his lips quirked up. “Do you need help with them? Because I volunteer if you need them inspected or rubbed or petted.”
“You are so helpful.” I grinned as I tucked a strand of hair back behind my ear.
He tilted his head to the side. “That’s me. Mr. Helpful. Willing to take one for the team, even if it means I have to touch them.”
“Real hardship for you.”
“You have no idea.” Nick went back to chopping away at the veggies. “Is that normal?”
“According to this one Web site I found, where it breaks down what to expect week by week. They’ve been sore, but today they just tingle.” I paused, leaning against the counter. “The baby is the size of a tadpole right now.”
He glanced up from what he was doing, his eyes bright. “That’s . . . tiny.”
“It’ll almost double in size by next week,” I told him, inhaling the yummy aroma of chicken and herbs. “I also have to pee a lot. Like I’m a nonstop waterfall.”
His brows lowered. “Thanks for letting me know about that.”
I folded my arms as I watched him shuffle the lettuce into a bowl. “I thought this was caring and sharing time.”
“Speaking of sharing time, I’ve gotten about five million texts from Reece and Jax.” He picked up the tomato and placed it on the carving board. “I’m pretty sure the moment you left Roxy this morning she got on the phone with Reece, who then called Jax.”
I cringed. “Um, sorry? I didn’t think about the fact she would tell Reece, which is a duh moment. I should’ve guessed that.”
“No need to apologize.” He carved up the tomato perfectly. “I’m actually glad you did say something. I don’t like keeping my friends in the dark. They’re pretty cool about it. Happy for me—for us.”
My breath did a funny thing, hitching in my throat. I remembered Roxy and Katie’s immediate reaction and I shoved those thoughts aside. Watching Nick finish the salad, I pressed my lips together. The knot was back, lodged in my chest. “I’m lucky,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course you are.” The tomato slices were scooped up and dumped in with the lettuce. “You were the honorary recipient of my very active sperm.”
I laughed as I turned sideways, blinking back the sudden wetness that had gathered in my eyes. Damn hormones. “Well, besides that, Nick.”
“Explain.” He started slicing the skin of the cucumber with expert ease, unlike me, who always ended up losing half the cucumber during this process.
Drawing in a shallow breath, I unfolded my arms. “You’re handling all of this so well. I’m lucky, because some guys . . . they would’ve been real assholes about it.”
“Well, some guys don’t need to be engaging in behaviors that can end in reproducing,” he commented dryly. “I’m not one of those guys.”
“True.” I watched him chop for a moment. “But I didn’t really know if you were going to be like that or not. No offense, but you’ve been so . . . so wonderful about everything—about me being pregnant, me telling Roxy and Katie, and dealing with your friends. So, I’m lucky.”
Sliding the diced cucumbers into the bowl, he walked around me, carrying the board and knife. He placed them in the sink and then turned around. Taking one step with those long legs of his, he was right in front of me. He lifted his arms, and his hands curved around my cheeks, tilting my head back so that our gaze met.
“I’m the lucky one,” he said, his eyes searching mine. “You didn’t make a decision about this baby without involving me. You didn’t take that choice away from me. And this is something I know you don’t know, but I never thought I’d have a child. Not because I didn’t want one, but because I just . . . I just never thought it would happen. I wasn’t screwing around when I said I didn’t do relationships, but with you—with this—this is different. Yeah, it was a big damn surprise.” His thumbs smoothed along the line of my jaw. “But there’s not a single part of me that doesn’t realize how lucky I am.”
I lowered my gaze, willing the stupid wetness to go away. “There you go again, being all great about this.”
“It really isn’t that hard to be this awesome,” he teased.
My lips curved up, and when I raised my gaze, I figured it was time to really figure out what we were doing, what both of us expected from this. “Can I ask you something?”
His gaze dropped to my mouth, and the tense, hungry look that settled into his features was hard to ignore. “You can do whatever you want.”
Reaching up, I wrapped my hands around his wrists. “Is it true that you haven’t hooked up with anyone since you met me?”
Those heated green eyes flew to mine. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Roxy’s been very chatty lately.”
“Actually, it was really Katie.”
“Girls,” he murmured, and then he laughed softly. “They’re right. I haven’t been with anyone since I’ve met you.”
The relief from earlier resurfaced. “Why?”
“Why?” His brows rose. “I don’t know.”
“You really don’t?”
Nick’s forehead wrinkled as he seemed to seriously mull my question over. He dropped his hands but didn’t step away. “I just . . . there’s been opportunity . . .”
“I’m sure there has been,” I replied wryly.
A quick grin flashed across his face, but it didn’t dampen the confusion etched into his features. “I just haven’t been interested, and I . . .” Trailing off, he closed his eyes. “Fuck it.”
My head jerked back as I blinked. Fuck it? That was not the response I was looking for, but before I could say anything, his hands had clasped my cheeks and he’d tilted my head back again. He lowered his mouth to mine.
And he kissed me.