Chapter Seventeen
After the shake-up of seeing Dale Rossi again for the first time since his parents were murdered, Finn wanted nothing more than to lose himself in a fight or bury himself to the hilt in his mate. Except he needed to drop her off to report in to the other Tribe members holed away at the Dusty Pines Motel. Tomorrow night, they’d be storming the warehouse and busting the meth operation wide open. Tomorrow night, he’d pay Rossi back for stealing away the hope that his folks would change for the better.
Instead, they’d died as the out-of-their-mind junkies he’d dealt with throughout his whole childhood.
Finn revved his engine, tearing across the highway in the direction of his gym. If he made the mistake of heading to Beaver Tavern, his mouth would get him into more trouble tonight. He was in a mean mood and, with the bitter way his chest burned, he needed to get the aggression out by his lonesome for once. Thankfully he had a gym filled with sturdy punching bags for that.
Once his gym came into view, the familiar white plaster building doused him with the first ounce of relief since he’d dropped Navi off.
At least, until he spotted the Honda Civic in his parking lot.
Because he couldn’t catch a goddamn break tonight.
Finn wheeled his Challenger into the unpaved parking lot, his headlights gliding over the front steps of his building where someone sat waiting for him. His heart pinched tight in his chest and at once he found it harder to breathe. Not now. Of all times, why now? He held himself together by a thread, one step away from implosion, and Raven sat on the doorstep of his gym, the one encounter guaranteed to push him over the edge.
He placed his car into Park and shut off the engine before resting his forehead against the steering wheel. He should’ve tried to pull himself together and headed to Dusty Pines with Navi for the night. The woman’s presence created the calm to his frenzy. Except, he had known this conversation was coming the moment the bond solidified, even if he had wanted to avoid this talk at all costs.
Hell, if he were being honest with himself, this conversation had been years and years in the making.
Finn slunk out of his car, the slam of his door echoing through the quiet clearing. Each footstep in her direction sounded too loud despite the distant peal of the cicadas and the low trickle of a distant creek. Each breath grew too heavy as he sucked down the humidity-laden air of late August. Raven didn’t make any move to approach, perched on the front step of his gym.
Blood pounded through his veins with such an intense demand he was tempted to walk right past her and go slam his fists into some punching bags. Her chocolate eyes were dull, and she hunched over with a lost, hopeless look that tugged at his guilt. She ran a hand through her thick, glossy strands, still wearing her normal bartending getup of a black tank-top and thigh-length skirt. No way she hadn’t heard the racket he’d kicked up on approach, but she didn’t glance his way once.
Each step forward served to remind him of how much history they shared. All the insecurities that had gripped him for so long and all the times he’d deluded himself into thinking their complicated relationship worked filled him with so much loathing he could taste it on his tongue. In the wake of his connection with Navi and the steady sense of right she provided, his tangled mess of a past with Raven rang all the hollower.
Finn came to a halt in front of her, hooking his thumbs through the belt loops of his jeans. “So, I’m guessing you heard the news.” Guilt thrummed through him that he hadn’t been the one to break it to her. With all the hustle he’d been swept up in, Finn had allowed that conversation to slip out of his grasp.
Her lips thinned, but she didn’t respond. He’d tried to warn her when he first hooked up with Navi. Finn had tried to get her to stand on her own two feet and ditch her futile hope of a future they’d never have. Not like his attempt had worked. No matter what, Rae would always use him as an excuse, a crutch. And he’d had enough of both of their excuses and self-deception to last a lifetime.
Her lack of a response unsettled him and, on top of that, her grief weighted the air. Yet he couldn’t help the conflicting annoyance always marring his sympathy with her situation, brought on by the way she refused to listen to him. Raven had grown more and more lost in her fantasies over the years to the point where she’d argue any point or suggestion that contradicted them.
“Just because you think she’s your mate doesn’t mean she’s the one you’ll end up with,” Raven murmured. “Are you willing to throw away everything you have here? Everything we’ve shared?” Her dark eyes glittered while she continued to delude herself even now, ignoring the irrevocable truth. They weren’t meant to be. Her dismissal of Navi rubbed him raw.
“And what do I have here, Rae?” he shot back. “An alpha who barely needs me and a toxic as hell relationship I should have quit years ago? Navi is mine, and I don’t give a fuck if you refuse to accept our bond. This isn’t your decision to make. It never was.”
She flinched at his rejection. Her hands curled into fists in her lap, and she sat there, shoulders bowed, like she was still sixteen and seeking comfort from one hellish childhood. This close to her, he couldn’t help but remember how they’d clashed together over the years, two kids trying to bury their pain in each other. Yet his attraction to Raven had faded long ago and it was a dim bulb compared to the sun’s glow Navi provided.
For the first time, Finn wasn’t avoiding his problems or his past. Navi encouraged him to conquer them and she inspired him to fight in a way no one else had before.
“What sort of future do you think you can find with a Tribe member?” she argued, venom in her voice as her nails lengthened to claws. “As soon as she’s wrapped up here, she’ll be heading to the next town to find someone new.”
Her words twisted inside him and Finn couldn’t help the heat burning in his chest. “What makes you think I’m staying here?”
When those words left him, Raven’s eyes widened and she stopped cold. He and Navi had yet to have the conversation, but, as he spoke it, the inevitability of the situation settled in his gut. In choosing her, he would be leaving his home behind.
“You wouldn’t,” she whispered, rising from her perch on the step. Tears glittered in her eyes, and he couldn’t help the turmoil that raged through him, the toxic combination of guilt, anger and always sadness for Raven.
“She’s my mate, Rae. My future,” Finn responded, his words coming out softer with the wonder of what he’d found in Navi. Several drops slithered down Raven’s cheeks, illuminated by the silver of the moon. His chest squeezed tight as he kept his hand back. Any other time, he would’ve reached over and brushed the tears away, but she needed to find a new source of comfort. He hoped she would be able to summon that strength within herself.
Finn was winning the award for world’s biggest asshole tonight, but he needed to let her process this on her own, the same as he had some work to do on a punching bag in his gym. He met her eyes, staring at the tears without flinching and without caving to the guilt and pain that had torn him up for so long.
“You will survive without me, Rae,” he said, his throat tightening with the words. “You’ve got a bright and brilliant future out there, I know it. You just have to be brave enough to reach for it.” Even as he spoke those words, he knew they weren’t only for her. After all, he’d been restless here for far too long, terrified to move past this place after the hell his parents put him through the first time he’d separated from the Red Rock pack.
She shook her head before storming past him.
Finn didn’t follow, just made his way to the door of Kelly’s Gym. The engine revved from her Honda, and those headlights sliced fluorescent beams through the darkness of the lot. Within seconds, Raven pulled out of her spot and accelerated down the highway. His grip on the handle tightened when she disappeared out of sight.
The mounting aggression that had burned through him earlier had been strangled in the wake of his confrontation with Raven. Finn entered the room, the scent of sweat heavy in the air, as well as the lingering remnants of apple and vanilla, an aroma that shot straight to his cock. Finn ran a hand across his buzz cut, trying to ignore the droplets of sweat tickling while they coursed down his neck to soak into his T-shirt.
He flicked on the overhead lights, but even the bright fluorescents didn’t stand a chance at dispelling the loneliness that waited for him in the creeping shadows and the silence. He swallowed, hard, as he grabbed his bandage to wrap his fists before approaching the punching bag.
Finn settled himself in front of the black Everlast bag, his shoulders dropping as he prepared to sling his punches.
One. Two. His fists shot out, hitting the weight in succession.
Raven’s tears wouldn’t leave his mind. The pit in his chest widened.
He lunged forward, delivering another couple of raps to the bag. Finn stepped back, moving side to side while he tried to shake off the emotional storm that promised to devastate him.
The years hadn’t been kind to Dale Rossi, but those soulless eyes had held the same malevolence Finn remembered from the motel. The same detached expression he’d never forget.
One. Two. One. Two. His shoulders heaved up and down as he lobbed punch after punch into the bag. Drops of sweat flew to the mats and the chain holding the bag rattled as it swung violently, but he kept pounding away. Because if he stopped, those memories would win. If he stopped, his mind would take him to dark places he’d believed he’d escaped from long ago. His fists blurred, his knuckles throbbed, yet his chest remained in a tight vise while he struggled to suck in his breaths.
All he could taste was the oily air of the meth lab. All he could see was the blood splattered around the motel.
Smack, smack, smack. The wet thwacks of his flesh pounding against the bag gave him pause. His claws pricked out, shredding through the gauze he’d wrapped around his fists. Droplets of blood mingled with the sweat hitting the floor and trickled from his hands.
“Fuck,” he cursed, his shoulders heaving up and down as he panted, staring at the weighted bag and ready to go another couple of rounds. He wanted to hurt tonight, wanted to forget the anger on Sierra’s face and the upset on Raven’s as his mouth ran away with his anger and started pissing off people he gave a damn about.
A creak sounded from the door to his gym, causing Finn to tense.
“Raven, I told you no,” he called out before he turned around.
Except the scent at the door soothed him in a way no one else could.
“And what was Raven doing here?” Navi’s voice broke through the quiet of the room. As she approached, slinking forward with those lethal curves despite her short stature, her eyes glowed silver. In their mating frenzy, emotions were running high and hot, yet he’d tackled the conversation with Raven by his lonesome tonight. Not like he had much choice.
Finn’s heart ached at the sight of Navi, as if her presence provided a salve to the turbulence slicing him apart on the inside.
“She was waiting for me when I got here,” Finn said, unable to ignore the pulse of his heart when he approached. Navi cocked an eyebrow, percolating with silent tension. He understood—with all the things he and Navi needed to discuss, their relationship was too new and too fragile to introduce volatile elements from the past.
“Is that so?” Navi murmured, reaching out to place a hand on his chest. The heat of her palm soaked into him, offering a brief respite from the way his chest ached. “How did that conversation go?” She brimmed with as much tension as he felt and the brief flash of vulnerability in her eyes slayed him on the spot. From what he’d learned of her, Navi had been given very few choices in her life and the role of Tribe was a heavy burden. For her to choose him, for her to want this humbled him.
Finn let out a snort. “Horribly, like I screwed up every damn conversation I had today. If the Red Rock pack doesn’t think I’m the biggest asshole on the planet, I only need to run into one or two more and my job is done. I can’t seem to do anything but piss people off right now.”
A smile rolled to her sensual lips. “You? Run your mouth? Color me shocked.”
He couldn’t help himself, and he wrapped his hands around her waist, drawing her close to him. Her nose wrinkled as she glanced down.
“Did you cut yourself?” she asked, reaching for his hands. The gauze had grown soaked at this point and he’d left a few stains on her shirt in the process. A line furrowed between her brows as she scanned over the spots of blood. “What the hell were you doing?” she asked, her voice soft with concern. Her hazel eyes stripped him down, as if his defenses no longer existed.
“I got a little carried away with the punching bag,” Finn admitted, unable to look away from her. “It’s been a day.”
Navi’s grip tightened around his wrist and she tugged him forward. He followed her as she led him to the closet of a bathroom in the back of his gym. She didn’t say a word while they marched to the sink, but she didn’t have to. As she turned the faucets on and began unwrapping the stained gauze from his hands, the tenderness in her motions said everything.
The water ran red, but already the cuts were healing. He couldn’t fathom how humans lived, waiting days to weeks for slices and gouges to mend. Still, the way Navi took care of him pierced through all the chaos of his emotions and his mind. Despite the shaky ground he stood on with the Red Rocks and how his memories besieged him at the sight of his old enemy, the discovery of his mate was the one thing he didn’t question.
Finn shook the remaining water off his hands before drying them with a nearby towel. “Looks like I ruined your shirt,” he commented, scanning over the stain he’d left. His gaze lingered on the swell of her breasts and the curve of her hips, on the smooth skin he longed to sink his teeth into. She’d tasted honey sweet this morning and the way she’d come undone on the hood of his Challenger would be the fodder of his fantasies for a long time to come.
Navi’s mouth quirked as she fought a smile. She tugged the shirt over her head, the fabric hitting the ground with a soft thump. “Guess I’ll have to do away with it.”
She wasn’t wearing a bra. Finn took in a sharp breath, because his cock rose to attention at the sight of her bare breasts. Her dark nipples were stiff, small points he wanted to suck, tease and nip, and the perfect curve of her soft breasts banished any other thought from his mind. He wanted to bury himself inside her.
“Look,” she said, tapping his chin up until their eyes met. “I know we’ve both had one mindfuck of a day and there’s a lot we need to discuss. But right now, my mind isn’t a place I want to be. I need you, Finn.”
Like she needed to say anything else. Finn crossed the space between them, grabbed her by the waist and kissed Navi Tremere with everything he had.