Chapter Nine
After the day Finn’d had, sleep would be a long time coming.
Navi had peeled away after dropping him off, as though she couldn’t escape fast enough. The demons haunting that woman were some fierce and furious ones. He slipped his hands into his pockets when he walked up the short driveway to the cheap apartment he rented, one of the concessions he’d made in order to afford his gym. The papers he’d rifled through at the auto shop had left him with the lingering irritation that he knew Dale Rossi from somewhere, somewhere he couldn’t place.
As he walked up the asphalt, a familiar scent caught his attention.
“Waiting up for me, Streaky?” Finn called out to Jer, his nickname well traveled through the pack. “Well, isn’t that just darling.” As he approached the stoop, Jer sat on the front step with a slight hunch to his shoulders. He leaned over his knees, his tousled chestnut hair obscuring his gaze. Not as if the sight was an unfamiliar one. Jer lived walking distance away, and they’d spent too many years riding out late in the night and stirring up trouble.
Except, Jer’s silence unsettled him. His eyes gleamed with his wolf when he looked up.
Finn’s stomach tightened.
Jer rose from his perch, a serious look on his mug. “I’m going to need some straight answers from you,” he said, tension emanating off him.
Finn restrained the groan that threatened to rip from his throat. He’d had enough of the emotional bullshit today between arguing with Raven and Navi—the last thing he needed was to get flack from one of his best friends, too.
“What’s eating you up, brother?” he asked, slumping to the porch steps where Jer now stood. His legs ached, his mind burned with the events of the day, and he wanted a stiff glass of whiskey—not an interrogation.
“I’m done sitting by and watching while you fuck around with Raven,” Jer growled, the sound carrying through the late-night air.
“Didn’t know you liked to watch,” Finn shot back, not in the mood for getting reamed out when Raven’s relationship with him wasn’t Jer’s business in the first place. The pretty boy pack lawyer had flashed those long lashes and that charmer’s smile to bring most of the females in the pack to his bedroom and he brought home new conquests every week. He had no room to talk. “Next time I’ll leave the bedroom door open.”
Jer’s eyes flashed and his claws protruded. Finn glared at his friend, not willing to budge on this one. Neither of them claimed patience as a virtue, but for all the times they’d come to blows, they’d always been able to wrangle their shit out.
“You’ve been leading her on for so damn long and now the whole pack has to watch you drag her through hell again while you chase after this chick from the Tribe?” Jer turned to him, the accusatory tone in his voice spelling out everything.
“Don’t go speaking on shit you know nothing about,” Finn growled, digging his claws into the wooden planks of his porch. “Even if I want to cut Rae loose, the situation’s not so simple. The girl’s been hurting for far too long and patching her life in all the wrong ways. You care so much, then instead of jawing off at me, maybe you should try talking to her.”
The fight sputtered out of Jer as he sheathed his claws before running his fingers through his chestnut locks. “I don’t know how to help her, Finn. She’s been in love with you for as long as anyone can remember. If you can’t break the cycle, what the hell are we supposed to do?”
He sympathized. The helplessness and the guilt were why he’d been stuck in this spin cycle for far too long. Both of them loved Rae to pieces, but he’d never felt any spark. He sure as hell hadn’t felt the maelstrom of emotions that whipped around him every time he was with Navi. Both he and his wolf were growing more attached by the day, to the point where he wasn’t sure how the hell he would handle the eventuality of her leaving.
“She wants this fiction that’s never going to happen. Like I’ll change my stride and fall madly in love with her. I just don’t feel it, Jer. I never have, but when we started hooking up we were both too fucked in the head to break it off when we should have.” Finn scrubbed his face, relief saturating him at airing this shit with his oldest friend. Sierra had pushed him for answers on occasion with the Raven thing and most of the pack threw in their own jibes, but no one had ever forced the whole story. They understood that when they did, the flimsy strings holding him and Raven together would snap.
“What are you doing chasing around Navi?” Jer asked, curiosity sparking those hazel eyes when he took a seat next to him. “You’re going to ruin my rep as the pack slut if you start dipping into every female who enters our territory.”
“Please, we both know my winning personality would send the women running in the other direction, fast. Plus, I couldn’t manage slicking down a pretty-boy mop like yours.” Finn snorted. Navi wasn’t a subject he was ready to broach, not with the way she’d worked her way in deeper than comfortable.
“Gosh, golly, you think I’m pretty?” Jer fanned himself before tugging the hand-rolled joint he had tucked behind his ear. He grabbed his Bic and lit it, sending the familiar earthy scent tumbling through the air.
Finn gestured with his hand. “Pass that shit over here. You owe me after storming the gates to my castle. Disrupting my peaceable night.”
Jer shook his head as he let out a stream of smoke and passed over the joint. “Cocky fucker. Rae’s my girl. I just don’t want to see the hurt on her beautiful face anymore.” The troubled look in Jer’s eyes made him wonder with the way the guy’s brows drew together in a concern that Finn had always questioned. Not like Jer made anything clear. The pack lawyer chased after any bit of tail who wandered his way—though Finn had buried himself in denial long enough that he understood.
Finn leaned back, taking a hit off the joint. The moment it touched his lips, he could feel his nerves calming while the smoke filtered up to disappear into the night sky. “If I could take the pain from her, I would. But I’m never going to be her solution, Jer.” He looked up to the moon above, visited by a boldness he hadn’t felt in those caves—one he hadn’t felt in a long time. “Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll be here forever—my wolf’s been begging to run free for far too long.”
Jer’s fist landed on his arm with a thump. “Stop with that nonsense. You’re our beta and, if you ditch, I won’t hesitate to find every angle in the book to legally keep you here.”
Finn shook his head, taking another hit off the joint as he tried to hide his smirk. The Red Rocks, they’d always been good to him, always would. Despite the restlessness roving through his veins, these were his people—his family.
Finn knocked on the door to Sierra’s cabin bright and early. Much to Dax’s chagrin, she’d requested her beta to drive her to the ceremony in the morning, a compromise since the Tribe was officiating it in the heart of Silver Springs territory. Fitting that the area that Dax had bled for his pack a month earlier would become the spot where they would honor their bond. Finn counted himself lucky to get a few minutes alone with his pack alpha. Ever since she’d met her mate, Sierra spent every spare second getting down and dirty with Dax.
The door creaked open and Sierra stepped into view.
The Red Rock alpha had always been a beauty in the snap-your-neck way, but this must’ve been the first time he’d ever seen her in a dress. The effect was staggering. The russet red of the curve-hugging floor-length dress she wore accentuated the bronze color of her skin, enhancing the dark waterfall of hair that cascaded down her back. She wore gold bracelets around her wrists, and dark brown, strappy sandals elevated her height until she almost stood toe-to-toe with him.
Finn let out a low wolf-whistle. “Slink into that sort of get-up for me?”
Sierra fixed him with one of her patented death glares. “Start that nonsense and I’ll let Dax gut you myself. You know the fact you’re bringing me there has him riled.” His alpha emanated a brisk, no-nonsense attitude at all times, but she’d met her match with the mountain lion alpha. It had taken one of the most irritating men on the planet to rein in Sierra Kanoska, but when they’d come together, the pair of them were the sort of formidable that threatened to dominate not only the region, but the whole East Coast.
In the face of that power, no wonder he’d been feeling like he was watching from the other side of the glass. Sierra didn’t need him to lean on as her beta anymore, not now that she had Dax by her side. Despite the overwhelming happiness he felt for his friend at finding her mate, he couldn’t help the sense of displacement that hollowed him, the loss he couldn’t shake. However, in asking her to represent the pack by her side today, she’d honored him here and now.
“Ready to go meet your mate?” he asked, extending an arm. “I know I promised a ride in the Challenger, but you’ll have to make do with this rental Civic.” Even being without his car for a day had been too long, and he itched to have his Challenger back. Navi had arranged the tow and repair courtesy of the Tribe, since it had gotten messed up while on their business.
Sierra lifted a brow while she accepted his arm and together they walked out of her house. “Do I want to know?”
“Casualty on the hunt with Navi for the Landsliders,” he said, opening the door for her, the one time his alpha would accept the whole gentleman schtick. “Thanks for recommending me. It’s been a nonstop thrill ride.” He slipped into the driver’s seat, revved the ignition and set off down the road. Sierra leaned against the side, watching the trees flash by along the highway.
“Care to explain what’s going on between you and our resident Tribe member?” Sierra asked, her voice sharpening. “I happened to run into Raven at the bar yesterday—she was having a cry in the back room.”
Finn resisted the urge to bash his head against the steering wheel. Like always around here, everyone put their noses in each other’s business. The criticism weighed down her tone like usual when Sierra butted into their relationship. She viewed the world in black and white and her brain couldn’t wrap around the Ouroboros relationship he and Raven had, a toxic cycle neither could break free from.
He pushed on the gas pedal, focusing on the road ahead. Finn swallowed the angry words that sprang to his tongue—riling up the alpha on her mating day wouldn’t be the best plan. Even if she was the one picking the fights.
“Raven’s going to have to get the hell over me,” he said, his words coming out in a growl regardless. “I’ve told her before and I’ll tell her again—my feelings aren’t going to somehow change. We’ve both got to find a better way to process our damage.”
Sierra turned toward him—he could feel her patented alpha stare coming down hard. “What’s going on with her?”
Finn shook his head. “Not my place to say, boss. We owe you our loyalty, not our pasts. Some memories are too painful to unearth.”
Sierra’s lips pressed tight together, and as he glanced in her direction, the look in her dark eyes conveyed far too much understanding. He’d always known Sierra had her own demons to chase. They all did.
“As long as I don’t lose my beta to the Tribe, your business is your own,” she murmured, conceding the fight. “I don’t know what I’d do without you to call me on my shit, Finn.” Sierra rummaged through his glove box, causing the familiar rustle of plastic packaging as she found his emergency smokes. Finn one-handed the steering wheel, plucking the box from her hands.
“No way am I going to be responsible for Dax breaking my neck because you showed up to your mating ceremony smelling like a chimney.” He tossed the pack into his backseat amidst her complaints. Even with the temporary distraction, her statement shot through to the heart of him. The conflict brewing in his chest threatened to spill over, those words poised on his lips. Except, Sierra had traveled miles away from her bad situation to find a home and her place in life. She wouldn’t understand the divide deepening in him by the day, the fear of leaving the place he loved and the urge to wander that gripped him by the throat.
“I’m the alpha,” Sierra shot back. “If I want to show up smelling like a chimney or even a dung heap, that’s my prerogative.”
“It sure is,” he responded, not bothering to hide the smile that stole over his face. Despite her arguments, she wasn’t making any leaps for the pack in the backseat. Sierra might be a stubborn sonofabitch, but she had the most level head out of anyone he knew. The Red Rock pack couldn’t be in better hands with a leader like her.
“So, honesty time,” she said, staring at her hands. “I know Dax and I already bit the bonded bullet, but have you kept a pulse on how the pack feels about this transition? I know you’ll always be straight with me.”
“The pack couldn’t be more stable,” Finn said without hesitation. “The trials Dax went through to solidify his leadership plus the way both packs banded together during the attacks made it pretty clear what a good team the two of you make. Your union is only going to strengthen the Red Rocks and the Silver Spring packs.”
Today wasn’t for mentioning how their union had become so strong Sierra no longer needed him as beta, even if she hadn’t realized the transition yet. Working alongside Navi to bust this smuggling ring had provided a breath of fresh air, and Finn couldn’t lie to himself—when the Tribe moved on from this area, his future here would be blank, erased. Like the sense of purpose he’d once clung to had departed with the changes.
Sierra’s hands curled into her dress, but an air of resolve radiated around her, one matching the confidence of her stance and the steadiness of those dark eyes. Dax was one lucky bastard, because Sierra possessed a shade of loyal that rarely existed nowadays. “Thanks. You’re a good one, Finn. Even if Raven doesn’t end up being your mate, I hope to be attending one of these ceremonies for you down the line.”
Her words slugged him in the gut with an intense longing, one he couldn’t even hope to explain. He’d wanted the path she was preparing to embark on for so long, a forever commitment and a family of his own, but no one among the Red Rocks or in this region clicked with him like he hoped. And hell, he knew what a difficult bastard he was to deal with in the first place. The bond between Sierra and Dax, the depth of their relationship and the way they helped each other rise from their pasts—he wanted that with an intensity bordering on desperation.
They pulled up to the clearing, which had been transformed over the past couple of days for the ceremony. The beaten dirt circle Dax fought in remained there and the large lake glittered in the distance, but dozens of chairs had been brought out to fill the clearing and a wire archway was placed in the front and woven with lilies. Already, most of the pack had taken their seats and more than a couple of Tribe members were millng around the clearing. The air buzzed with tension, the same sort that infiltrated before a wedding. Unlike those celebrations, though, mating ceremonies involved a level of magic to the commitment, honoring the origin of their abilities and the source of their power.
Finn pulled the car into Park and turned to face Sierra. “Ready to go meet your mate?” he asked.
“The better question is if he’s ready for me.” She flashed him a grin, the expression on her face radiant. Today, Sierra of the Red Rocks would be bonded to her mate in the eyes of the Tribe and, despite Finn’s own damage, he couldn’t be happier.