Chapter Ten
Navi fidgeted in her dress, already feeling uncomfortable. The sunshine was out in full force and gentle breezes brought traces of honeysuckle through the clearing, causing the lake behind them to ripple every once in a while. Sierra and Dax couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day for their ceremony. She’d presided over dozens of these before and, without a doubt, the more touching and perfect the ceremony, the more she wanted to gag.
Jess crouched in her champagne dress, preparing the incense that would be burning during the ritual. Fires leapt high in the ornate pit they’d set up, one they transported with them on the road. The heat nearby amplified the summer’s hold and sweat pricked her brow, beads of it sliding down her cheek. Dax was dressed sharper than normal with a charcoal vest and black slacks, but he’d opened up the top buttons of his white shirt and he wore a pair of boots with the ensemble. The man looked gorgeous while he paced back and forth around the clearing.
However, only one guy as of late had the ability to knock the breath from her.
The click of a door opening drew more than just her attention. Dax near jumped from where he stood when the rental car pulled into the lot. Sierra Kanoska stepped out of the passenger side, and every gaze zeroed in on the woman. Her Native American heritage shone under this sun between the bronzed skin her dress exposed, the elegant cheekbones and her raven-wing hair. The woman radiated confidence, an unshakable power that left no one questioning who was in charge.
Sierra wasn’t the reason Navi smoothed down the fabric of her knee-length azure dress. Finn stepped out of the driver’s side, and she couldn’t help how her pulse quickened at the sight of him. The pale blue button-down he wore provided the perfect contrast to his corded, tan skin and his khakis couldn’t hide the thick muscles of his legs. The moment his dark eyes landed on her, she forgot what she was doing and why she was even here.
An elbow nudged her in the side, drawing her attention front and center.
“Might want to close your mouth,” Jess whispered in her ear. “You’re drooling.”
Navi shot a glare, crossing her arms over her chest. “Sierra dressed up, that’s all,” she said. “I was surprised.”
Jess snorted as she straightened next to her. “Then how come your gaze was focused on the Red Rock beta?” Damn the woman. Jess knew Navi far too well. She sucked in a deep breath, pinching the claw pendant between her breasts. The roadside makeout session with Finn had been a terrible idea and she didn’t know how to quit him, not while they worked this case together. Not with him looking at her like she was the only thing that existed on the planet.
Navi fought the shiver rolling down her spine under the strength of his gaze.
Dax approached where they stood, his focus on his advancing mate. The man normally exuded cockiness, but the Red Rock alpha had discovered the way to cut him off at the knees. Lucas strolled up to Navi’s other side, his big presence casting a shadow over her. Since he stood at least a foot over her, he always loomed, but she’d never once found herself intimidated—the guy pulled to the side of the road every time he spotted roadkill he might be able to save.
“Ready to unite yet another fated match?” Lucas asked, clapping a hand on her shoulder. “I know this part’s your favorite.”
Navi shot him a dirty look right when Jess piped up. “I think she’s reconsidering her avid anti-love status with the longing looks she keeps swapping with a certain wolf.”
Hearing it out loud caused all those fears and worries percolating around to coil tight within her and her hands balled into fists on instinct, the claws digging into her palms. Navi fought to keep her temper level, tamping down the urge to start slinging punches. “I think today’s a great reminder of how fleeting love is for us, and you know it. They’ve got a home, a family. We’re Tribe. We get the road—no attachments. No commitments.”
Jess zipped her mouth at that, her lips pressing tight together, and Lucas squeezed Navi’s shoulder in response. Even though she wasn’t able to keep her bitterness at bay, she didn’t worry about the others understanding—they knew the life sentence they’d been handed.
Navi stepped in front of the pyre and lifted her arms to the crowd. “Dax Williams and Sierra Kanoska, approach,” she called. Her voice echoed through the clearing as a hush descended. Dax grabbed Sierra’s hand while they both approached, despite the exasperated glance Sierra shot him at the public display. Like the whole mating ceremony wasn’t in front of both their packs.
Finn made his way to the front of the crowd, his hands slipped into his pockets while he watched. She could feel his gaze on her even as she focused on the two approaching. The demand in his dark eyes was one she could never acquiesce to, the hope flickering there one she would crush. In Finn Kelly’s eyes, she saw dreams of a future, one they’d never have.
“We are here today to witness the mating of Dax, alpha of the Silver Springs pack, and Sierra of the Red Rock pack. Through the Tribe, the spirits above will descend to honor this union.” At her words, she could feel her power ignite within her, the ancient spirit of her panther stirring in her chest. The heady scent of the incense grew stronger, the flames turning shades of green and purple as it burned. The tribal tattoos weaving up her arms and legs heated, the way the lines sometimes did when she used her power. Navi breathed in the spice and bathed in the heat of the fire, letting the flames heighten her awareness.
The shaman’s incense sparked the feral part of her, the soul she’d been bonded with, and she wasn’t the only one afflicted. Jess and Lucas responded in kind, their eyes glowing with the fury of their beasts simmering beneath the surface.
She sucked in a deep breath when she approached Dax and Sierra who stood beside each other, facing her. Not like Jess and Lucas couldn’t be the speaker, but they tended to drag ceremonies out way too long. Navi preferred to cut to the quick of this nonsense.
“Our ancestors were forged by the elements—earth, wind, fire and water. These mighty creatures roamed the land, connected to humans by the ancient magic of the shamans. In that spirit, we are bound together by the tethers of pack, of Tribe, but even deeper and more permanent is the mating bond.” Navi’s stomach flipped as she reached the next part. Even though everyone focused on the happily mated couple, Finn’s gaze hadn’t left her. She couldn’t forget his words from the night before—she had the feeling she’d be carrying them with her for a long time on the lonely road ahead.
“Your mate is the other half of your foundation, your source of strength when you feel weak. Together, you are strong. You are complete in the eyes of your pack, in the eyes of your Tribe and, most importantly, in the eyes of each other.” Navi’s voice rang out through the clearing.
Sierra’s small smile and the way her eyes softened when she looked at Dax transformed her features. He beamed with a sunlit strength back at her. Navi’s heart wrung like a wet rag, the too familiar bitterness descending. Yet again, she stood witness to a happiness she’d never have, a union and community she would never be a part of. Hell if these ceremonies didn’t strip her down like turpentine, year after empty year.
Navi closed her eyes, summoning her panther like nudging a part of her to life. She reached out with both hands and Lucas and Jess grabbed hers. With the three of them connected, she could feel the growing power of their Tribe flow through her, the swell of the ruling force they’d been granted from birth.
“Sierra Kanoska,” Navi intoned, her words coming out cold and unearthly while she floated away on the tides of the power rushing through her. “Dax Williams. Do you acknowledge the bond between you in the presence of the spirits?”
“I do,” Sierra said, her voice ringing out strong and clear.
“As do I,” Dax followed, his tone wry yet warm.
Navi squeezed Jess’ slim hand and Lucas’ coarse one as the strength swelled within her, the very molecules vibrating from the sheer force of their connection, like standing in hurricane winds. “The spirits bless your mating. May you navigate this lifetime together.” The words left her lips and the panther took over, a howl ripping from her throat. The sound grew raw, furious and demanding as it echoed through the clearing, joined by Jess’ and Lucas’ beasts.
In these moments, she wasn’t Navi Tremere anymore—she was something ancient, something primal and something more than she could imagine as her human self. The panther attached to her had traveled along many lifetimes, from one Tribe member to another, but the immensity of the knowledge the spirit had collected along the way was too much to comprehend. She dipped her toe into the power on a regular basis, but moments like these, she plunged straight into the pool.
The sound faded as their howls came to a close and her throat throbbed in the aftermath. Silence reigned throughout the clearing for a single, solemn moment. Until, one by one, each shifter standing before them lifted their heads and returned the howls. Their voices pierced the air, the animalistic sound reverberating through her very bones. The earth beneath her feet became alive, from the wind sweeping strands of her hair to the splash of the lake’s water lapping to the shore and the crackle of the fire behind her.
Dax grabbed Sierra by the waist and planted a kiss on her lips, breaking the formality of the moment. She sank into his embrace and the howls quieted, replaced by catcalls and cheers. Navi tilted her head in silent acknowledgment. The ceremony was over and now the celebrations would begin.
* * * *
As the Silver Springs and Red Rock packs set to partying, music blared over the speakers they’d set up, pulsing through the clearing. Picnic tables had been wrangled into place early this morning, every ounce of the surfaces covered by a buffet of grilled chicken, roasted pork, dripping ribs and whatever sides the prep crew had thrown in. With all these shifters in one locale, the top item on the menu would be red meat, as rare as they could make it.
Standing outside the rustic Silver Springs’ cabin, Navi couldn’t shake the sense of déjà vu. Not a month ago, she had joined them in celebration after Dax had won the fight against his brother and they had been breaking out the ale together then, sharing in the excitement of his win after the trials both packs had been through. A certain pack beta had been a relentless flirt for her attention that night, too.
Navi took a seat at one of the empty picnic tables, tipping back the bottle of Yuengling she’d nabbed from the cooler. The beads of condensation imprinted on her palm, a coolness against the heat radiating from the midday sun. She didn’t even need to turn around to sense him there behind her.
“I told you and I meant it back then—that was a one-time thing,” she said, leaning against the picnic table and resting her forearm on the weathered surface.
Finn settled onto the bench beside her, his weight causing the planks to creak. “And last night was…?” he asked, his brow lifted. This close, she could smell the leather on him even now, the fresh-cut grass as if he’d rolled in it. Her panther preened at the scent, not helping to quell the attraction flushing through her body.
“Last night was a lapse in judgment,” Navi drawled, soaking in the sunshine. She glanced to a gaggle of Red Rocks laughing and hanging out a couple of tables over. Except one of them wasn’t laughing at all and the woman zeroed her laser gaze in on Navi. Spirits be damned. Raven watched her with an intensity reserved for competition, a fight Navi wanted no part of. “A mistake I’m surer of with every second,” she said. “Looks like your girlfriend isn’t keen on sharing, either.”
Finn’s gaze followed hers, and his chicory eyes darkened. “I made my stance with her clear,” he said, radiating irritation while he tipped back his bottle of beer. “Not my problem if she refuses to accept we don’t amount to anything.”
Navi shrugged, feigning indifference despite the way her chest burned. “Don’t know why you’re telling me. Figured I’d give you the heads-up since you’re the one who’ll be stuck dealing with the mess.”
Finn turned toward her, his big body casting an even larger shadow. “You’re still clinging to that bullshit?” he asked, as brazen as ever. His gaze flashed with the audacity few dared to pull around her. After seeing her in Tribe capacity with all the unrestrained power rushing through, he should’ve been steering clear—Jess and Lucas didn’t have a throng of people by their side. However, as always, Finn seemed completely unafraid. He might freeze in caves or tight spaces, but, unlike so many, he treated her like an equal.
Navi took another swig from her bottle, trying to dispel the prickle that traveled her arms at the territory they were sailing into. The bastard had an uncanny way of driving straight through her avoidance tactics. She cast another glance in Raven’s direction—nope, the woman hadn’t stopped glaring. Joy. The exact sort of complication she avoided on principle. Finn watched her, too, those brown eyes curious despite his curt tone. Even with the sun beating down on her, cold suffused her insides.
“I’m clinging to ‘that bullshit’ because it’s all I have,” she murmured, the words coming out quieter than intended. She picked at the label of her bottle, refusing to look at Finn. “You might have the luxury of expressing your affection—you’ve got a family here, a pack, a home. You don’t understand what it’s like to make connections and lose them over and over again. Eventually, you stop, because you know the outcome—you’ve lived that pain too many times.” Her throat tightened and she stopped, not willing to go on.
An arm slipped around her shoulders, his warmth flooding through her. Navi squeezed tight to the bench, digging her nails into the underside of the wooden planks. Finn pulled her to him and, even though she should’ve resisted, should’ve stepped away, she couldn’t help but fall into the blissful heat of his embrace. He gave his affection and his touch like those motions cost him nothing, like each effort to reach out didn’t scrape a bit more of his psyche.
“If I’m so fulfilled here,” he murmured, his breath warm against her ear, “then why the hell can’t my wolf settle? Why the fuck, on the day of my alpha’s mating ceremony, do I feel like everything I’ve built here is slipping away from me?” He tightened his grip around her arm, the signal she needed to understand these words were for her alone. That despite the aspects of him seeming like an open book, he didn’t offer every page.
Navi looked at him and when their eyes met, she saw him—truly saw him. The slight bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, the troubled press of his mouth. He was so loud, so vibrant and so quick to feel that few would see the hesitation beneath the surface. Even she’d missed it, so focused on trying to fight the way he made her feel too intensely every time she was around him.
His jaw tightened and he reached for his beer, taking a swig. As he relaxed his grip on her, she extricated herself and adjusted to face him. The bumping beat of whatever rock song the packs were blasting echoed through the clearing along with several cheers and screams as Dax and Sierra took to dancing amidst their packs. The Red Rock alpha might not be the showy sort, but her partner could make up for that in spades. A distance spread between them with the silence, one she couldn’t let settle.
Navi lifted her bottle. “Well, then, it sounds like we’re both fucked.”
His mouth quirked and he clinked his beer to hers. “If that’s what you want, darling, I’ve been waiting to peel the dress off you from the moment I pulled into this lot.” The heat in his voice burned hotter than the August sun and Navi’s core clenched tight at his words. He scanned her with a predator’s intensity, his wolf clear in his eyes.
The first time was just a fling, but in the interim, this mess had developed, the sort Navi tended to run screaming from. Finn Kelly came with complications like his ex-fuck buddy and he was also tethered to this place, a beta in the Red Rock pack. Even still, she couldn’t help the comfort she felt in his arms and couldn’t deny the sparks that flew between them every time their eyes met. However, as much as her body reacted to him and the sight of him there wearing a cocky smirk and fancy clothes begging to be crumpled drove her wild, she couldn’t indulge.
If they hooked up again, this time their collision would be real. It would mean more to her than a no-strings one-night stand and tap into feelings she hadn’t allowed for herself in far too long. And that meant it would ruin her all the more when she left.