When he woke, Jamie felt sick. It was the consequence of consuming too much alcohol the night before, but not directly due to the chemical reaction in his stomach or the hangover as such. Having drunk a swimming pool equivalent quantity of freshwater and swallowed the maximum number of painkillers, Jamie didn't feel as bad as he should have. When he arrived home, he'd been well cared for by his two nurses, Perry and Kevin.
A worse feeling overshadowed the slight headache and sense of nausea: Jamie's sense of embarrassment.
He'd started drinking at Poptastic for a little extra courage, to loosen up, and enjoy the night. Although Jamie would've liked to get somewhere with Perry—whether it was a date or a fumble in a dark corner—he hadn't pinned all his hopes on it.
Jamie had come to terms with the fact that Perry didn't fancy him. For one thing, he suspected Perry was a little out of his league. He was older, on a higher pay grade, and with bags of experience and confidence.
It was not so much that Jamie wanted Perry as he wanted to be like Perry; he admired him for his flamboyant sense of self-confidence. Where did that come from?
Perry was out, loud and proud, and obviously had been his entire life. That kid at school who was picked on for being gay in primary school—that wouldn't have been Perry. He'd have been princess popular, owned it, and worked it.
At Poptastic, Jamie had been fully prepared to see Perry with his boyfriend. Why shouldn't he have a boyfriend? Jamie was quite curious to see what kind of bloke Perry went for. And, for that matter, what kind of bloke went for Perry?
Before spotting Perry, Jamie had seen his brother, Kevin. Okay, Jamie thought, Kevin could have queer friends. Everyone was welcome.
However, Kevin was there with someone who was more to him than just a friend. It was the way they looked at each other, the way they held hands, and the way they kissed.
Oh, God, that was not the type of kiss you shared with someone you've just met. That was the kiss of long-time firmly-established lovers. The sort of kiss that became a reason to seek out real-life boyfriends working together as porn actors.
It was so hot to watch that Jamie could've gotten a little hard, but it was his brother. Kevin, kissing a bloke.
Most definitely one hundred percent man, albeit a femme gay man.
Perry!
Kevin was with Perry. Jamie lost count of how many rum cocktails he drank in quick succession as a consequence of his sheer, pure, stunned disbelief.
Jamie wasn't so drunk that he had forgotten his reaction to the total surprising discovery that Perry did indeed have a boyfriend: Jamie's straight brother, Kevin.
Jamie drank. He didn't go marching over, demanding an explanation, but he made a real fool of himself when the couple spotted him. He couldn't even remember what he'd said but knew it was garbled nonsense. Stuff that he didn't even mean.
To take his mind off everything, and attempt to forget the pain in his head and the churning of his stomach, Jamie turned on the TV. A mindless morning chat show would be perfect.
As he moved, he noticed his phone and picked it up. There were several messages all from Dylan. As much as Jamie had tried to divert those feelings of attraction toward Perry, or any other goddamn man, Jamie's heart skipped a beat when he noticed they were from Dylan. Only Dylan had that effect on him. Still! And they hadn't seen each other for months.
Jamie tapped on the screen and noticed his battery was low, in the red zone. He read the messages.
Dylan was on his way to the club last night. Dylan arrived but couldn't find him. Dylan left and wanted to know whether Jamie could meet him for breakfast the next day.
Today.
Jamie groaned. He didn't know whether he could face breakfast, but he could definitely do with Dylan's comfort and support. If he had arrived earlier, he might well have saved Jamie from making a fool of himself, from drinking so much too quickly.
It seemed the story of Jamie's life: things not quite slipping into place; always missing his man. Unable to think about breakfast, Jamie didn't know how to reply. He wished Dylan was there right then so that he could cuddle up with him.
He wondered how he'd have the nerve to look either Perry or Kevin in the face again. But he didn't have to wonder about that for long. They put this issue to bed when they both invaded his bedroom in the morning.
"I’ve felt better. But I could be worse. I think all that water you forced me to drink was a big help. And I've just had some headache pills." He replied to Kevin's pitying look. "I’m sorry if I did anything too annoying. I'm trying hard to forget how I embarrassed myself."
"We all get drunk sometimes," Kevin replied. It was a really awkward moment. Kevin came right up to the bed in which Jamie sat. Perry stood on the threshold to the room, looking ready to bolt. It felt like there were things to say, but Jamie was in bed with a bucket beside him. At least he hadn't thrown up; the bucket was perfectly clean and fresh smelling.
And then there was the other issue, the reason Perry was in their house in the morning wasn't that he'd gone home with Jamie. Or, not exactly. Perry had obviously stayed the night, with Kevin, in his bedroom. Kevin could probably get away with that as his bedroom was in the basement, whereas Jamie's bedroom was right next to their fathers.
"Why didn't you tell me that you’re into guys too?" Jamie glared at his brother. How and why did Kevin keep that a secret when he knew Jamie was gay?
"It never seemed like the right time to tell you." Kevin stepped towards the door and took Perry's hand. "Perry is my boyfriend."
At least Perry didn't stay and gloat, after checking Jamie hadn't choked on his own vomit. Perry made himself scarce, leaving the brothers to talk.
"Two gay brothers attracted to the same man. I wonder if that happens often." Jamie chuckled.
"I'm not gay; I'm bisexual. I'm sorry about not telling you. It was never a good time."
Any conversation they might've had was cut exceptionally short as their dad appeared on the landing. Jamie had no idea where he came from. Whether he'd been home all night or had just arrived back from a night out. He must have heard every word, and Kevin obviously hadn't heard him approach from behind.
"Dad, are you okay?" Jamie asked.
"Yes. Fine. I thought you were going to introduce me to your boyfriend soon. I tried to let you know that I'm okay with it," Dad said to Jamie, ignoring Kevin who looked like a stunned kid who'd been caught with his hand in the candy jar. Dad turned his body to give Kevin his full attention. "I must admit, I'm surprised about you, Kevin. I never thought you'd be the first son to introduce me to his boyfriend. It never crossed my mind that I had two gay sons."
"I'm bi."
"You know I'm gay?" Jamie asked he felt as surprised as the expression on Kevin's face.
Without acknowledging Kevin's comments, Dad turned to Jamie. "You never said, so I didn't know for sure."
Jamie wanted to ask more, but their dad backed out of the door, leaving a speechless and amazed pair of brothers in his wake. "I'll go downstairs and see what we've got to eat. Bring your boyfriend in for breakfast when you're ready."
Kevin was entitled to the next shower and had a guest to attend to, so Jamie got out of bed to follow his father downstairs and talk about what just happened. He pulled on fresh lounging clothes and grabbed his phone before going downstairs.
Dressing and chasing his dad down the stairs turned out to be all the movement Jamie's head could take for a while, so instead of making a pot of much-required tea he sat on a chair at the kitchen table. He also clung to that table for support. The room was completely still, but it seemed it had only just stopped spinning and threatened to go again at any moment.
His father's iPad lay on the table, so Jamie propped it up and pulled up a news channel purely to give his eyes something to look at.
"Tea and a bacon sarnie?" Dad asked.
"Please." So much for talking to his father.
"Rough night?" At least Dad was trying to get the conversation going as he emptied the dishwasher.
"Not as far as I remember. Just too much to drink."
Dad chuckled. "'twas a good night then."
"Yeah, suppose."
"Where did you go?"
"A gay club. I didn't expect to see Kevin there. That was a bit of a shock."
"For you too. So you didn't know either?"
Jamie didn't say anything for a while. He watched his dad lay out plates and cutlery and a frying pan that he pulling from the dishwasher and put miscellaneous stuff away. He also attended to tea making. When he opened the fridge to get the milk, he said, "We could go for a full English. We've got a full fridge, and it'll settle your stomach."
"Dad, how come you knew I was gay, but you never told me?"
"It's not the sort of thing a dad can come out and ask his son about." He set a much-needed cup of tea in front of Jamie. "I had to wait for you to tell me. I can ask you the same question. How come you knew you were gay and you never told me?"
Jamie wrapped his hand around the handle and willed it to cool down. "Because you're the parent. So how did you know, Dad?
"Jamie I'm not a mind reader, I didn't know until today, upstairs, when you two were talking. You've always been so different, so it crossed my mind that it was a possibility. But only possible. I didn't know for sure."
He opened the fridge door again as he spoke and began to pull out ingredients: egg, sausages, bacon, mushrooms, and butter. "Only recently the guys at work were gossiping. It got back to me, but it was just gossip. They're full of shit. Half don't know their arse from their elbow." He turned on the grill and put the frying pan on the hob. "I'd like to think you could both tell me stuff like that, but it's nobody’s business but your own what you do in bed and who with."
They fell silent as they heard footsteps in the hallway. Kevin or Perry or both of them working their way from the upstairs bathroom back down to Kevin's basement bedroom presumably. No doubt they'd be in for breakfast soon.
Jamie shrugged regretfully. He'd also met someone, and he did have someone special in his life, but he didn't think it was appropriate to talk to his father about friends with benefits; fuck buddy relationships.
Dad made breakfast when Perry and Kevin came and joined them in the kitchen. Perry sat down at the table, Kevin made tea, Dad cooked breakfast, and Jamie sat watching it all. Everything was so surreal. Dad and Kevin, and Kevin’s boyfriend.
Dad’s banter involved too many comments about sausages. He’d cooked plenty, apparently because, "I know how you boys like your sausages."
It was corny, juvenile, and Perry giggled along with Jamie.
He thought about how well Perry fitted in, much better than any of Kevin's girlfriends. When Kevin brought a girlfriend home, which wasn't often, they seemed out of place in this all-male household. And kitchen conversation felt forced. Not this morning. Jamie liked Perry as a mate and approved of him as a future brother-in-law. But it was way too soon to think of things like that. Jamie noted how Dad welcomed Perry, making him feel completely at home.
Jamie felt completely restored to normal human functions by the time he'd consumed three mugs of tea, his plate was clear, and he’d pushed it to the center of the table. It wasn't just that the that his stomach had settled, but the shock of discovering his brother was gay and dating Perry had passed, and they had apparently forgiven and forgotten whatever nonsense he'd spouted while drunk. He didn't dare ask them what he said; he didn't care to remember.
There came a knock at the door.
"I'll get it." Dad pushed back his chair and strode off to the down the hallway.
"Your dad is a nice bloke. He seems okay with everything," Perry observed.
Kevin nodded. "Yes. I'd didn't expect today to go like this. Hell, we weren’t supposed to be here." In response to the question on Jamie’s face he explained. "I wasn't expecting to invite Perry to a family brunch with my brother and father. We were supposed to go back to his place last night, but we had to bring you home and check on you."
"You were in no state to be left alone," Perry agreed. "But don’t worry about it. This ‘meet the family’ is turning out to be fun." Perry appeared full of joyful enthusiasm, and why not? It wasn't his family who'd just gone through all the stress and surprise of unplanned coming outs.
There were footsteps and voices in the hall. Jamie looked up to see his dad leading Dylan into the kitchen.
"Dylan's here," Dad said, stating the obvious. "Dylan, obviously you know Jamie and Kevin, this is Perry. I don't know whether you've met him before?"
There was a strange look on Dylan's face that was probably undetectable to the others. He looked strained and tired. He nodded politely, and said hello to them all.
"Nice to meet you, Perry."
Jamie realized at once how this looked.
Dylan would have no idea that Kevin was into guys, and Dylan would assume that Perry was Jamie’s guest and had come home with Jamie last night. Even though Dylan should know Jamie would never bring a guy back like that when his Dad thought both his sons were straight.
No wonder a layer of confusion showed in Dylan's eyes.