“You’re seriously dragging ass today, Lolli. And you could have at least brushed your damn hair.” Mia links arms with me, and drags me alongside her.

“I did brush my hair, and my teeth, for that matter. This,” I point to the tangled ball on top of my head, yawning, “is a strategically placed knot. It’s called a messy bun for a reason.”

“And the sunglasses that cover half your face,” she deadpans. “What are those, a fashion statement?” I can hear her eyeroll.

“Nailed it, you did.”

She huffs.

“What’s up, girls?” The boys all greet us as we reach the table.

I give a half-ass wave while Mia smiles.

“Sorry we’re late.” Mia literally pushes me into a chair.

“Bitch,” I mumble, dropping my head onto my folded arms on the table.

“Rough night, Lolli?” Austin laughs.

I lift my finger and flip him off.

“Uh, yeah.” Mia snaps. “I went to her house to sleep off my buzz last night and this bitch,” Mia explains, “didn’t walk through the door until, what?”

Assuming she’s looking at me, I lift a shoulder in a shrug. “Three-thirty-ish, give or take.”

My head is in my arms, so I can’t be sure, but while the other boys laugh, one chair scratches the floor and heavy footsteps carry someone away. My guess is it’s Nate.

I texted him when I hit snooze for the first time today, telling him I’d meet everyone here. My plan was to ditch, but of course, Mia figured as much and dragged my ass out anyway.

“Uh-oh,” Austin teases. “I’m gonna take a guess here, Lolli, and say you weren’t with Nate last night?”

I throw myself back in the chair and lean lazily, knowing what’s coming. We’ve all fought about it a few times in the last couple weeks. “I went running.”

“What?!” Parker yells.

“Lolli!” Mia screams.

And I’m done.

Now it’s my chair scraping across the floor.

“Check it out,” I begin, my black long-sleeve hanging over my pointed hand. “I’m a big fucking girl.” I glare at each of them, then remember my glasses are covering my eyes. Rolling my eyes at myself, I continue, “I don’t want to hear shit from you guys. In case you haven’t already guessed, I don’t give a shit. I do what I want, when I want. Period.”

Mia’s eyes soften and Parker gets up to walk around the table but I put my hand out, stopping him. “I get it. It’s hard on my body, it’s not safe to run alone at night, blah, blah, blah. But maybe you guys should stop and think that maybe it would be worse if I didn’t.”

“You always go running after you’ve spent time with Nate.” Mia’s voice turns accusatory.

“And?” I ask, not bothering to deny it, but pissed she’d blast my dirty laundry in front of everyone. “Sometimes I gotta shut it down.”

“Why?” A strong, yet vulnerable voice says from behind me, and my body tenses slightly.

I turn to Nate and shrug. “Because...”

Fuck.

I shrug again.

He shakes his head back and forth, not allowing my answer.

“Fine, you want to know why?” My head pulls back slightly, while my eyebrows jump out from under my shades. “It’s because this,” I motion between the two of us, “is supposed to be careless, and easy, and fun…and sometimes it’s... not.” I look away, even though he can’t see my eyes.

I know he gets my underlying message.

Sometimes it’s more.

“And that’s a bad thing?” he questions, his voice calm and even.

“Yes!” Exasperated, I lift my hand, bringing it down against my leg. “You’re supposed to be the fun guy, just looking to pass the time, but that’s not who you’re being at all.” I stomp my foot like a child. “You’re my paramour.”

“Problem with that, Lolli,” Austin pipes in. “He ain’t married.”

I prop my hands on my hips and cut him a pissy glance over my shoulder. “Yeah, well. He isn’t mine, either.”

Nate steps into my space, forcing my eyes back to his. “Maybe I want to be.”

“Want to be what?”

“Yours.” He tips his chin.

I gasp and stumble back a step, but he catches me. I hear an “oh shit”, a “no fucking way”, and a laugh from the three stooges behind me, but my gaze is locked on Nate’s chest and refusing to look up at him.

Clearly, he senses it because he bends at the knees and sweeps me into his arms, before carrying me outside.

Neither of us say anything as he puts me in his truck, orders pizza, and drives to pick it up. We don’t speak when he gets out to pay, nor on the way to my house. Not when I open the door and we shuffle in, nor when we sit and eat. Not even when I stand and grab his hand, leading him into my room.

I take off my glasses and sandals while Nate empties his pockets and kicks off his shoes. I pull the covers back as he turns on the music, then we climb into my bed.

He tucks me into the crook of his arm and I lay my head on his chest and we watch Bad News Bears.

When the movie’s over, Nate kisses my head, and goes home.

I kind of hate he knows what to do and when to do it.

Then again, I kind of don’t.