Chapter 9
My feet were freezing as I dashed through the snow to a nearby bench, where I was able to sit down and put on my boots. The chill coming on the heels of having been so warm and cozy inside reverberated through my body and I wished I’d thought to bring my coat. At least the turtleneck had long sleeves, but the material wasn’t all that warm, and I pulled the end of the sleeves down, tucking them in my hands as I hunched over trying to keep myself warm.
The snow was trickling down in tiny flakes like glitter confetti. I stared at the ground for a few minutes, trying not to think. I tried to push what Jason had said out of my mind, but it kept echoing through me, like a pendulum that wouldn’t stop ticking off the seconds of a clock.
Tick… She’d hate me… Tock… I know she used to have a crush on me, but I’m so glad that passed—it was so awkward… Tick… What do you suggest I do? Walk up and say, “Hey, Kae, I used to fuck your mother… Tock… We were having an affair before you were born.”
My face flared and I realized that I was embarrassed. Humiliated, if I was honest with myself. That he knew that I had a crush on him was bad enough. But that he had been my mother’s lover was worse. The two secrets together? Unbearable. He had slept with her, while my father was alive, and then went on pretending to be just her friend.
A thought crossed my mind. Had my father known? Had he looked the other way? Or had Marlene kept her lie all the way through? Had she really loved my father or had she just been pretending? And even worse—what if Jason was my father? It wasn’t out of the question.
The thought that I might have had a crush on my father made me sick to my stomach and the shock and humiliation combined to churn what I had eaten for dinner into a sudden rush coming up in my throat. I stumbled off the bench and fell on my knees in the snow, vomiting until everything I had eaten was a puddle in front of me. I pushed myself back, grabbed a handful of the clean white snow and thrust it in my mouth, holding it there till it melted and I could spit it out. After a couple of times, my mouth felt clean, and I took another handful, this time swallowing it for water.
By now, I was freezing. I had to go back inside or I could freeze to death.
A sudden movement to my side made me turn. I prayed it wouldn’t be Jason or Tam. I couldn’t talk to either one of them right now. But I was in luck. It was Zhan.
“You are ill?” he asked, nodding to the mess I had made.
“I’m all right. I just…my stomach was just upset.” My teeth chattering, I reached for the bench to help myself stand, but he was at my side, giving me his hand before I could touch the stone. I accepted his help and rose. Shaking, I sat down again.
“What is wrong? Should I alert Jerako?”
I shook my head. “No. I’ll be all right. I just had…something of a shock. I was going back inside.” But even as I spoke, the sting of tears hit my eyes. I didn’t cry often, but the dam broke and harsh sobs escaped my throat as I leaned over, pressing my face to my hands.
“You are sad.” The hedgemite sat beside me and gingerly put a hand on my shoulder. “Tell me what I can do?”
“Nothing. That’s the problem. There’s nothing anybody can do.”
I raised my head, the sting of betrayal hitting me on all sides. My mother had betrayed my father. And it felt like she had betrayed me. Jason had betrayed my father, and then me by keeping silent all these years. Even Tam. He had known but never once said a word to me. Although I understood—it had never been his place to say anything—it felt wrong, especially now that we were together.
Maybe he promised Jason long ago. You wouldn’t respect him if he broke his promises, would you? But how could he? How could he love me and keep such a secret? You’ve made promises in the past, would you break them because you’re suddenly in a new relationship?
The internal bickering continued as I tried to get a hold of myself. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve, sniffling as the cold drips from my nose froze against my face.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to worry you. I’m just stressed out and having a rough evening. I need to sleep but I’m afraid I won’t be able to.”
Zhan snapped his fingers. “I can help you with that. Wait here. I’ll be right back.” He dashed off and I felt bad. The hedgemite was trying to be helpful.
Good to his word, Zhan reappeared shortly after with a mug in hand. “A sleeping tea. It won’t harm you, no fear of that, but will let you sleep without worry through the night till morning. Please, drink.”
I sniffed it cautiously. The aroma enveloped me like soft gauze, and my headache started to lift from just smelling the drink. I sipped it—peppermint, honey, and something else that reminded me of lemons, but…not quite. The warm liquid trickled down my throat, soothing the harsh strain from crying and phlegm. I drained the mug and handed it back to Zhan. I was already feeling the slow spread of warmth inside. My stomach began to unknot and while I was still feeling melancholy, I was able to breathe deeply again.
“That works fast.”
“Oh, yes. You’d best go back inside and crawl into your bed. You’ll be asleep before you know it.” Zhan stood, holding the mug. As I joined him, I wished there was something I could offer in return.
I held out my hand. “Thank you. I appreciate your kindness.”
He contemplated my fingers for a moment before taking them. “It’s my pleasure to help, Fury. Now sleep deep, and perhaps things will look brighter in the morning. They often do.”
I wanted to ask how anything like what I had learned could look brighter, daylight or not, but suppressed the urge. Zhan had been kind, and his kindness would allow me to sleep away the shock. Better to just be gracious.
“You’re right. They often do. Good night.” I turned and quietly re-entered the building, taking off my boots by the door. I tiptoed back to my mattress and removed my still-damp socks. Tam and Jason looked to both be sleeping deeply from what I could see, and so I slid back under my covers. Zhan’s drink worked like a charm. Within seconds, I was slumbering softly, and my sleep remained dream-free till morning.
When I opened my eyes the next morning, my body felt deliciously relaxed, until I remembered what I had overheard. I pushed myself to a sitting position and yawned. Greta, who was sleeping on my left, was already up and dressed. She was arranging plates on the table. Jason was nowhere to be seen, but Tam was setting out the food that the hedgemites had brought, and the others were in various stages of getting dressed. I was the last one up.
I was still dressed from my trip outside, so I pulled on socks and my boots, and spent a few moments in the bathroom, tidying up. As I returned to the table, everyone was there and breakfast had started without me.
“These are the best eggs I’ve ever eaten,” Tam said, passing me the platter of scrambled eggs and bacon.
I gave him a thin-lipped smile as I loaded my plate. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about him hiding Jason’s indiscretion from me. Indiscretion, my ass, a voice inside whispered. Jason fucked your mother and pretended to be your father’s friend. That’s a little more than an indiscretion.
“Are you all right?” Tam mouthed at me.
I nodded, shoving a forkful of eggs in my mouth so I couldn’t answer. This was neither the time nor place to discuss what was bound to become one hell of an argument. I jammed a strip of bacon between my teeth and turned away.
We were almost done when the main doors to the hall opened and Zhan, along with two other hedgemites, entered. They stopped at the head of the table.
“Jerako would like to see you when you’re finished with breakfast,” the hedgemite said. “Please, follow me, if you’re ready.”
He waited while we finished and dressed, then led us outside, across the blanket of snow that covered the expanse. We followed the hedgemites for ten minutes until we reached yet another hall, and Zhan opened the door for us. As we entered, I realized that—while it was warm inside—it wasn’t the warmth of our lodgings. But there was a semicircle of chairs. In front, Jerako was sitting on a large stool. He waited patiently while we joined him.
After we were seated, he cleared his throat, sounding a lot like a motor that had tried to turn over one too many times.
“Welcome and I bid you morning. I trust you slept well in our care?” Without waiting for us to answer, he continued. “Hecate told me what has been happening. The Greenlings will guide you safely to the tunnels of the Bonny Fae. But you must know, the plants are waking up. Whatever is going on, and I don’t know the half of it yet, it has prodded Gaia into action. She’s unsettled and moving. She wakes the plant world and calls the Greenlings to stand ready should she choose to act. We are preparing for battle.”
I glanced over at Tam, who looked grave. Elan and Laren also looked wary. Tam had been through the first World Shift—he had seen what Gaia did. The realization that we could be facing something just as drastic made me break into a cold sweat, beading on my forehead. I shivered and moved closer to Greta, who was standing next to me. She absently reached for my hand and I took it. Right now, holding hands felt like a very good idea.
“Then will you go to war against Lyon? Or the Conglomerate?” Tyrell asked.
Jerako shrugged, the great branches of his shoulders heaving with a rustling sound as the holly leaves rubbed against one another. “Whatever Gaia chooses to do, we are her willing servants. And now, gather your things and pack your horses—they will be brought round to you—and we’ll be off to the other side of the island.”
“Our horses must stay here,” Tam said. “Jerako, can you make certain they find a good home? They won’t be able to travel through the tunnels with us, and I don’t want to set them free where the zombies might have a chance to get hold of them.”
“I can and will do as you ask, Lord of UnderBarrow. That you are concerned for their welfare is commendable.” Jerako excused himself. We finished eating and then sorted through what we wanted to take back with us.
“It seems odd, to have come all this way just to return to the city,” Hans said. “But I must admit, I have missed it. The Wild Wood is lovely, but it’s not my home.”
“How about you, Fury? Have you missed the city?” Elan asked.
I nodded, trying to keep my mind on what we were doing. But my thoughts kept returning to what I had learned, and I finally turned to Jason and Tam.
“Before we go, I need to talk to the both of you.” I wasn’t the most discreet person, and if I didn’t confront them now, I knew it would slip out at the wrong place or the wrong time.
“All right, where?”
They followed me as I led them outside into the cold morning air. The snow had stopped and the sky was a brilliant blue. For the first time in a while, the sun had broken through to shine down, casting a brilliant reflection on the carpet of white that covered the Arbortariam.
We stopped near the hall, at the bench where I had rested the night before. I noticed that my upchucked dinner was nowhere in sight. Either it had been covered over or magically turned into fairy dust. I pointed to the bench and they sat down, waiting.
“I’ll come right to the point. I heard you talking last night, after we all went to bed.” I caught Jason’s gaze, holding it. “You fucked my mother? You had an affair with her and you kept it quiet all this time? What I want to know is, should I be calling you Daddy?”
Jason inhaled a sharp breath, holding it for a moment before letting it whistle between his teeth. “Crap.”
“I told you she’d find out,” Tam said, very softly.
I turned on him. “And you, you never told me? I get that you might have some sort of male solidarity with your brother-in-arms, so to speak. A bonding ritual, maybe. But how long were you planning on keeping this a secret? How long were you going to go along with Jason, never letting on that you knew?”
Furious, I paced back and forth, wearing a path in the snow. “I can’t believe that you kept this from me, Jason. I can’t believe you let me reach thirty without ever once admitting that you had been involved with my mother. You betrayed my father and pretended to be friends with him, and that’s bad enough, but…” I paused, narrowing my eyes. “If he really was my father. I don’t know what to think now.”
Jason held very still before he narrowed his eyes. “My relationships with other women are not—and never were—your business.”
“They are if the other woman is my mother. Was my mother. They are if there’s the slightest chance I could be carrying your blood in my veins!” I had passed the point of caring what I said. I flailed, feeling out of control. “You knew I had a crush on you all those years—how could you let me continue feeling the way I thought I felt when…when…” I froze as a ball of flame appeared in my hand. It was brilliant and crackling. Instinctively, I knew that I could do one hell of a lot of damage with it if I were to direct it toward someone.
Jason froze, staring at the magical fire. Tam stiffened and stood.
“Love, chill the fire. Come on, you don’t want to do that.” He held out one hand, catching my gaze.
While I did want to lob the ball of flame directly at Jason, I knew it was my anger speaking and not my heart. I stared at Tam, and the fire slowly began to die. It fizzled out after a moment. My hand was still tingling as I wiped my palm on my jeans.
“Tell me one thing. Are you my father?”
Jason hung his head. “No, I’m not. Do you want to hear the whole story?”
I shook my head. “I can’t even talk to you right now. We’ll work together since what we’re facing requires it. But for now? I don’t want to hear an unnecessary word. I don’t want to chat with you, talk with you, or even be in the same room with you. When the business with the zombies is done, we’re finished.” I turned to Tam. “Never lie to me again. I realize that you may have promised Jason to keep this a secret, but if you ever hold anything like this from me again, then we’re done too.”
And with that, I headed back inside.
The Greenling was true to his word. Jerako led us across the island to the southern tip, which took us until two p.m. I walked beside Elan, who seemed to understand my need for silence. Jason was walking near the back, and Tam not far behind me. I didn’t say a word to either one as we crossed the wide swath of snow-covered grass.
Jerako paused as we neared the end of the hike, and motioned for me to join him.
“You are angry, young goddess.”
“I was betrayed by a friend. Yes, I’m angry.” I didn’t tell him what happened. I figured he either already knew or would ask if he wanted to know.
“Don’t be too quick to destroy the bond. Friends are hard to come by in this day.” He paused, then added, “When you reach home, please take care. And if you would, tell Hecate what I said about the plants waking up.”
“Does that mean all plants, or just the sentient ones like Wandering Ivy?”
“Oh, Wandering Ivy never sleeps. She’s a tricky girl, she is. But there are other sentient plants that you’ve never seen, never heard of. They will be up and walking soon. Some are deadly and dangerous to humans—to all beasts that walk on two or four feet. Others are more congenial. The trick is figuring out which one is which.”
“How will we know? And what happens if we’re attacked and defend ourselves? Will Gaia have our heads for it? Would you?” I wanted everything out on the table. I was tired of subterfuge and deceit.
“Oh, defending yourself is one thing. But yes, we are watching, and all sentient plants—deadly or not—report to the Greenlings. The world will be a vastly different landscape a year from now. Hopefully, we will all be coexisting peacefully.” With that, he pointed toward the edge of the island. We could see land across the water, the south side of Seattle, near both the World Tree and the Metalworks. “There is a boat that will carry all of you. Once you cross to the other side, put the oars back in the boat and tell it to go home. It will return to us on its own.”
I nodded. “Will do. Thank you, Jerako. We appreciate your help.” My anger subsided—just a little—in the face of his help.
We silently followed the winding stairs that led to the dock where the boat was moored. One by one, we settled into the longboat. I took a seat next to Greta in the stern. Jason was on the other end—at the bow. Hans and Tyrell took up the oars. As we pushed off from the Arbortariam, it hit me that we were going home. We’d only been gone ten days, but it felt like a lifetime. I wanted to feel triumphant—we were returning, and neither the zombies nor the Devani nor the Regent could keep us away. But all I felt at the moment was numb.
Tam, who was sitting facing me, caught my attention. “Fury, are we…”
“We’re okay. Or we will be all right. I just need some time to process everything.”
“Don’t be too hard on him. You don’t know the whole story—”
“Stop,” I said, holding up my hand. “Right now, I don’t want to hear it. Let it go for now. We’re headed back to Seattle and by the time we get there, we’re going to have to be as focused as we can get. Just let it drop, all right? I’ll deal with it later.”
“All right.” He didn’t look happy, but he dropped the subject.
Greta gave me a long look, but said nothing. I stared out at the water as we worked our way over to the main shore. I had expected it to take us a good share of the afternoon, given we only had two oarsmen, but the boat seemed to glide across the inlet, bucking the wind, making the chore of rowing easy on Hans and Tyrell. Instead of nearing the shore after dark, we arrived shortly before dusk—around four p.m. As we approached, Elan—who was sitting next to Tam—used her telescope to search for any Devani who might be guarding the shore. She lowered the spyglass, shaking her head.
“Nobody up there. Where’s the entrance to the tunnels, Tam?”
“Under the shade of that willow that’s overhanging the water. Head toward it, and we can get out on the rocky point below the tree.”
Hans and Tyrell steered us to Tam’s direction, and we landed on a ledge that was about a foot above the level of the inlet.
“This is often underwater, in case any of you should seek it out again.” Tam picked his way over the rock-strewn jetty to the base of the willow. The roots had grown out of the ground, winding their way along the shore. The tree looked rather precarious, but then again, willows weren’t known for their longevity. He knelt at a place where two of the larger roots crossed, and they drew back as he approached.
I blinked. Roots didn’t move on their own for regular trees. I glanced up at the willow and I had the distinct impression it was watching us. Deciding that I’d ask about it later, I crossed to Tam. “Do you need any help?”
He looked up at me from where he was trying to pry a trap door open. “This seems stuck, so yes, actually.”
I knelt beside him and took hold of the steel handle that had been buried between the roots. We tugged together and the door came open. Tam took my hand.
“You know I’d never do anything to hurt you, Fury.”
“I know. Just… Let’s get out of sight. We’ll talk later.”
He brought my fingers to his lips and kissed them, then stood back. “Everyone, into the tunnel before anybody sees us.”
Hans set the oars back in the boat and told it to go home. It started off across the inlet on its own as, one by one, we lowered ourselves into the hole. Inside, a ladder led down into a tunnel that was about four feet wide by seven feet tall. As Tam touched the walls and whispered something, a soft light began to glow, emanating from the ceiling. It was a gentle blue, calming and yet bright enough to see by.
Overhead, Hans closed the trap door above him, and we heard a shuffling coming from outside. I wasn’t sure what it was until it hit me—the willow was moving her roots again, covering the entrance once more.
“We have a bit of a walk, but it will be dry and relatively warm compared to outside,” Tam said. “These tunnels are not connected to the Tunnels that make up underground Seattle, so we shouldn’t be meeting anything nasty on the horizon.” He reached for my hand and I gave it to him, and we started off, with the others following behind.
We had been walking for about two hours when Tam slowed.
“We’re almost there. A guard should be coming at any moment, because we passed the trip point a few feet back.”
Sure enough, the words were barely out of his mouth when the shuffle of running feet sounded from up ahead. We turned a bend in the tunnel when at least ten guardsmen came racing down the hall at us. They froze, immediately nocking their arrows.
“Sef lawre, maen esh arlyr an masetr.” Tam’s voice echoed loud and clear.
The archers stood down and—as one—knelt.
“Alert Damh Varias that I’ve returned. I’ll be in the main council chamber in half an hour. Have the servants find lodgings for my friends. Mistress Fury will, of course, take her room.” He pulled me to him before I could step away and kissed me lightly but firmly. “We’ll talk in a bit.”
I nodded, accepting his lead. We were back in UnderBarrow, and we would present a unified front to his people even if I was still angry with him.
Although, I thought as the guards escorted us through the tunnel to the main hive where UnderBarrow proper took up, my anger at Tam had dissipated. I was disappointed in him, but it was better if I focused my anger at the right target, and that target was Jason. I was also feeling the gentle pulse of something I hadn’t felt in over a week.
I brought up my Trace screen. I had an internal GPS system, a gift built into my very core from birth, where I could sense Abominations and track them if they were close enough. And right now, the alarms were ringing loud and clear. It was like an internal hologram that played out in my mind.
As I stepped to one side in order to avoid blocking the others, I saw three indicators on the map. Three Aboms were out there right now, near the World Tree. My fingers itched—I wanted to go after them. It was in my blood to hunt them down and destroy them, but until I knew what we were facing out in the streets, it wasn’t a good plan to go waltzing around out there. I shook off the urge and returned to Tam’s side.
“Trouble?” He took my hand.
I nodded. “Three Aboms near the World Tree. But there’s nothing I can do right now till I know what conditions are like in the city. I don’t want to chance being caught off guard.”
“We’ll know more within the hour. Rest and freshen up, and we’ll all meet for supper. Damh Varias will have news for us. After a while, you’ll want to make a quick foray out of the Sandspit in order to call Hecate.” With that, he kissed my hand again and motioned for one of the guards to escort me to my room.
It felt odd to be alone again—we had traveled as a group for so long now—but when I entered my room that Tam had given to me for my personal use, I realized that I had missed my privacy. The servant who entered shortly after the guard left me curtseyed.
“May I help you, miss?”
“I need a bath, and if you would, a large, hot cup of coffee.”
“Right away, miss. Would you like help undressing?”
I shook my head. “I’m all right, thank you.”
As she left the room, shutting the door behind her, I stripped off my clothes. Or rather, Elan’s clothing. I had been wearing her clothes since we escaped from the city. The serving girl returned within minutes with a strong cup of coffee, large and topped with foamed milk. Then, she played around with the bathtub that was in my room and hot water began streaming into it. I wasn’t sure how they did it, but all the tubs here had the ability to run hot and cold water.
I found the bath gel I had left from my previous visit and poured some of the amberine scent in. A cross between amber and jasmine, it was a dusky, floral scent that wasn’t too astringent or cloying. Bubbles filled the tub and I gratefully sank into it, enjoying the silence around me. The girl handed me my coffee, and I waved her off after asking her to leave towels on the bench next to the tub.
I leaned back and closed my eyes, luxuriating in the warmth of the water. Even better, we didn’t have to make a death march through the snow again. At least not right now. I tried to stave off thoughts of what might be waiting for us outside, and managed to succeed long enough to soap up, rinse off, and dress in clean clothing—my own for a change.
I pulled on a pair of leather shorts, running my hand along the whip on my leg, grateful to have access to it again, and then fastened on a bra and a corset top. I slid a jacket over the corset and stepped into a long loose skirt that had a slit up to my waist on the right side. The skirt provided extra warmth, and the slit provided access to my whip.
Brushing my hair out, I washed my face, slicked a thin layer of lotion over my cheeks and nose—which were red due to the exposure to the cold we had faced over the past week—then strapped my dagger to my left thigh, and slung Xan over my shoulder.
Ready to go, I headed toward the meeting room. It was time to make plans.