Chapter 11
Hecate’s office was around the corner from the waiting room, down a hall to another passage, then to the end of the corridor, on the right. The Fates were next to her, and every time I passed their office, I shivered a little. The last thing I needed was to get tangled up in their machinations, although by now I had a feeling that everybody was tangled up with them in one way or another.
I tapped on the door, and a soft “Come in” echoed from inside.
Hecate had decorated her office in a calm, peaceful manner, with walls of pale ivory, a dark blue carpet, and furniture of white antique leather. Her desk was pecan, polished to a high sheen. The art on her walls was of landscapes, and plants overran the room, filling it with a heady woodsy scent. She also displayed her blade collection, and every time I visited, I paused in front of the blades and sickles, admiring them.
Today, she was sitting behind her desk, wearing a pale gray turtleneck and gray plaid pants with red and blue cross-stitching. She wore a black leather blazer, and her hair was neatly back in a high ponytail, with her diadem discreetly tucked in front. To her left, in a chair that was situated diagonally to the side, sat Athena.
Athena’s hair was as golden as Hecate’s was black, pulled back in a tight braid. She was wearing a pair of white jeans with a pale blue button-down shirt. Over the top, she wore a navy suit jacket and her eyes shifted from blue to green as she watched us file in.
Kendall and I knelt, while the others gave quick bows.
“Up,” Hecate said. She glanced over me. “Please, sit. All of you.”
Athena gave her a quick glance, but then motioned to Kendall. “You may rise. Do as she bids.”
Kendall bobbed her head and stood. “My Lady.”
I realized right there that the Seer had done a good job when binding me to Hecate. Athena was all rules and regs and by-the-book, and that was so not my nature. Whereas Hecate threw decorum to the wind when needed and was a think-on-the-fly goddess.
Hecate glanced at me, her lips curving into a smile, trying not to laugh. She knew me well enough to read the expression on my face. “Be seated, everyone. Welcome. I only wish the circumstances of our meeting were different.”
We settled onto the sofa and chairs.
I let out a long breath. “Before I forget, I was talking to Coralie out in the waiting room. She hasn’t been able to contact any of her family. Is there a chance you might be able to find out if they’re still alive? She’s worried sick. I can try if you’d rather.”
Before Hecate could speak, Athena let out a little huff. “That’s not our concern—”
“It is now,” Hecate interrupted. “When we opted to stay and throw our lots in with humans, we took on the responsibility for watching out for all our servants, and Coralie runs the entire third floor. Give me the contact information, Fury. I’ll set someone to the task today. Coralie should have come to me, but I can see how she might be reluctant.”
I handed her the paper, even more grateful I was bound to her. Hecate genuinely cared about people. “We just arrived in town tonight. We’re all tired and worn out, but we didn’t want to wait any longer to come see you. We owe a debt of thanks to Jerako. The Greenlings helped us more than they had any call to. They’re preparing for war, I think.”
Hecate nodded.
“Since I talked to you yesterday morning, a great deal has happened,” Hecate said. “The Order of the Black Mist has struck hard and fast. Atlantea lies in ruins, as are a number of other big cities around both this nation and the world. The Order found another artifact from the Weather Wars, similar to the Thunderstrike. This time, there was no one there to steal it away from them. They’ve used it, and pummeled the capital into the ground with tornadoes. The Conglomerate ordered retaliation using the Devani, but the golden soldiers refused and the fear grows they are going to wage their own strike against the country—” She paused as someone tapped on the door.
Coralie peeked in. “You might want to watch the news. The Order of the Black Mist is broadcasting right now.”
Hecate pulled a remote out of her desk and aimed it at the wall. A panel slid back to show a screen, and it flickered to life as she toggled another button. The local news was on—only instead of the announcer we were used to, a man I recognized stood there, facing the cameras.
Lyon Burkenwald, the leader of the local Order of the Black Mist.
Tall, with wavy blond hair, he wore an indigo robe. His eyes were wickedly cruel, and his lips were crooked into a faint smile. There would be no mercy coming from him. Beside him stood two men, obviously compatriots, and in front, a man knelt, head down. His hands were tied behind his back. It was the Regent of Seattle.
“By the Order of the Black Mist, I claim this city. Seattle is ours. New London is ours. Black Forest is ours. We will soon hold Atlantea. People of Seattle, the world as you know it has come to an end. Out of the ashes, a new order is rising. We will open the doors on the World Tree and reunite the earth with the Elder Gods of Chaos.” Lyon paused.
I didn’t want to watch this train wreck, but it was impossible to look away.
“Well, at least we know his goal,” Tam said.
“Yeah, I suppose that’s something.” I bit my lip, wishing to hell the Order was only a localized group. It would be easier to stop them if they were a minor fringe element. But they were an organized worldwide association. Not quite so easy.
“Shush, he’s speaking again,” Hecate said.
Lyon turned to the Regent. “You are the embodiment of the old way. You represent a corrupt system.”
He had a point there, I thought. Unfortunately, the system that Lyon wanted to erect was freakshow nuts. Perhaps not corrupt, but far more dangerous.
“I sentence you—and your entire system—to death.”
The Regent began to plead but one of Lyon’s henchmen slapped tape over his mouth. Lyon motioned to them and the camera panned back to show a noose hanging from the studio ceiling. The Regent struggled as they dragged him over to it. Within less than a minute, they had draped the noose around his neck. The Regent’s gaze darted frantically as sweat beaded from his receding hairline. He was a thin man, shorter than Lyon, and he looked so incredibly overwhelmed that it was hard for me not to feel sorry for him. I cringed, trying to remind myself that the Regent was responsible for thousands of deaths, with no thought on his conscience about it, but the whole situation was still difficult to watch.
Granted the system was corrupt, but to televise the execution to a city held in check by force was just one more sign of Lyon’s cruelty. They hustled him onto a chair and then, without further ado, yanked the chair out from beneath his feet. The Regent went spinning around, the bones in his neck cracking so loud that it made me jump.
As we stared at the screen, Lyon motioned to the body in an offhand way.
“This is a symbol of your allegiance to the old system. Citizens of Seattle, what you might not realize is that this man is the reason you’ve been held captive, unable to flee the city.”
I froze. He was going to tell them and that alone would inspire riots.
Hecate had the same thought. “This is not the right way in which to inform the public.”
“No, but we can’t stop him,” I muttered.
“Your precious Regent was using you and your children as weapons. Homeland Defense managed to filter a toxin poisonous to my army of zombies. They leaked it into the water supply, infecting all of you, then locked the borders so you would be nothing more than fodder for the walking dead. The Regent’s plan was to eradicate them by allowing them to hunt you down, kill you, and eat your infected flesh.”
“But won’t they hate Lyon for bringing the zombies in the first place?” Kendall turned to Athena. “He’s to blame for the situation.”
“He may be to blame, but finding out those you thought were protecting you were actually offering you up to the enemy makes for a quick change of heart.” Athena held her finger to her lips. Lyon was speaking again.
“Citizens of Seattle, do not mourn the death of this man. I’m going to be magnanimous. I will open the gates. You may leave if you wish. We will not attempt to stop you. However, if you choose to stay, we bind you to accept the rule of the Order of the Black Mist. At this moment, all over the world we are tearing down the old structures. Join us now. The old kings are dead. Long live the Lords of Chaos.”
And with that, the screen went dark.
We sat in silence for a moment, trying to assimilate what had just happened. Finally, I turned to Hecate and Athena. “What are your orders? What should we do?”
For the first time since I had been bound to her, Hecate looked confused. She cleared her throat. “The Elder Gods must meet and discuss the next step. We think Gaia is rising again, but…so much is uncertain. I believe we’ll be forced to move against Lyon, but especially now, we can’t go in willy-nilly. For the moment, return to UnderBarrow. Destroy what Aboms you can—we don’t need them mucking about and making things even worse. Chances are, Lyon will try to figure out a way to use them as well. Sit tight and stay out of trouble, all of you.”
“There’s another matter,” Athena said. “While the Regent and Devani are no longer in charge, the information—all of your chips—is still recorded in their data banks. Lyon could make use of that. I suggest that we remove them all.”
Tam nodded. “Good point. My chip is gone. Neither Elan nor Laren have them. But Kendall—you and Tyrell do. Hans as well. All Theosians are chipped.”
“What about you, Fury?” Kendall asked.
I blinked. “My chip was altered years ago. I’ve been flying under the radar since I was thirteen. But any Theosians remaining in the city need to have them removed because Lyon will try to find a way to use our powers. He’s a Theosian himself. And if he can’t gain our cooperation, he’ll try to destroy us. He doesn’t want any opposition and he already knows that I’m his enemy. I’ll bet he’s already been trying to find me. He has to have figured out by now that my data isn’t accurate.”
“Before you leave here we’ll take care of your chips. I’ll call the Temple Valhalla and talk to Thor about Hans, and send a runner to the Temple of Sacred Trees.” Athena stood. “It’s a new world, and once again the power structure changes. To be honest, I don’t want the Conglomerate to remain in charge, but the Order of the Black Mist is more dangerous. And if they do manage to open the doors to the Elder Gods of Chaos… Gaia will not stand for that. The world would go down in flames.” She motioned to Kendall. “Come. I’ll remove your chip.”
With a frightened look, Kendall obeyed.
After they exited the room, I turned back to Hecate. “I need your advice on another, more personal matter. Would the rest of you give us some privacy?”
Tam gave me a long look. He knew what I was going to ask her about. But he motioned to Elan and Laren and they left the room. After they closed the door behind them, I let out a long breath and dropped onto the sofa, leaning my head back. To just be alone with Hecate for a moment felt good—almost as though life was back to normal.
She waited for me to speak.
Finally, I straightened up. “I found out that Jason slept with my mother. I don’t know how to process this.”
Hecate let out a soft sigh. She leaned forward, propping her elbows on her desk. “How do you feel?”
“Betrayed. Angry. Humiliated.”
“Humiliated? Why?”
I stared at my hands, not wanting to admit the reason. “I had a crush on him for years. He knew it, and yet…he had been fucking my mother behind my father’s back. He slept with her, but he let me go on thinking they had just been friends. How could I have a crush on someone who might be my father? Who was my mother’s lover?”
I had managed to stave off the feelings while we were on the road, but now they swept in, hot and fast, and I tried to swallow an ugly sob but it caught in my throat. I burst out in tears, curling up in the corner of the sofa, my face hot with shame and anger.
“I trusted him. I trusted him more than anybody and he never told me.”
Hecate waited for a moment, then she softly said, “Fury, sit up.”
I pushed myself up, trying to wipe my eyes and nose. She tossed me a box of tissues. “There’s more, I think, to this feeling than just betrayal.”
I nodded, gulping down the rising knot in my stomach. “He says he’s not my father, and I want to believe him. I can’t stomach thinking that he might actually be and that I wanted to…”
“You wanted to sleep with him at one point. You wanted to be with him. And to find out that he gave that part of himself to your mother—” She paused. “He didn’t cheat on you, Fury. His relationship with your mother was before you were even born.”
That hit right to the point. I ducked my head. “Yeah, I guess I understand that. But I had a crush on him. And what if he’s my father?”
“He isn’t. That much I can tell you. The hospital sends over records when the Seers bind one of you to us. The DNA records prove your father actually is your father. I can show you the file, if you like, but if you trust my word…”
Heaving a big sigh, I shook my head. “No need. If you tell me that Jason’s not my father, that’s good enough for me. I just wish…”
“During the time you were growing up, he was engaged to Eileen. If he told anybody, it should have been her. He’s only been free a few months. If he were to develop feelings for you, yes, he should tell you. But Fury, think about it—you were thirteen when he took you in. You had been through a massive trauma. Don’t you think that he was afraid that if you knew, you’d run away? Maybe, just maybe, Jason was protecting you.”
Hecate’s words echoed in my head. I didn’t want to think about what she was saying—I felt like I was the wounded party here—but she made some good points.
“What really bothers you about the issue?”
I blinked, trying to sort out my feelings. After a moment, I slowly said, “When I had a crush on him, I kept hoping he would see me as a woman, but he’s always acted like I was a child. Now, I see he can probably never see me as an adult—he may not be my father, but he took over as my father, and he was my mother’s lover. How can he look at me as anything but a little girl?”
All my crushes, all my feelings I thought I had, would never have panned out. And knowing what I knew now, I wouldn’t have wanted them to. It felt like an entire side of my life had vanished as a delusion brought about by ignorance.
“I spent half my life hoping Jason would notice me. I started to fall for him in my teens, but he was engaged by then, and I swept my hopes to daydreams. When Eileen died, I realized that everything had been a delusion. Castles in the air, never meant to happen. I guess I feel I wasted my time. It’s not his fault, but if I had known about him and my mother, I never would have invested so much energy into those daydreams.”
And that was where the core of my pain lay. I had wasted years of my life daydreaming about being Jason’s wife, when I could have been building my own life. I could have opened myself to other possibilities.
“You’re right. It’s not his fault, but neither is it yours. It’s a tangled, regrettable situation, but there’s no one to blame. You don’t know why your mother slept with him—and I’ll lay odds that you’re also angry at her, but too afraid to admit it. You need to talk to Jason and find out what went on. It was his secret—and hers, but now that you know, I think facing the issue head-on is your only choice. You owe Jason for taking you in, for treating you as well as he did. You can’t just throw that all away because your ego is hurt.”
She gave me a long look, and I knew that was an order, not a suggestion.
“All right. I’ll talk to him. We’ll get past this.” I didn’t want to, but I was smart enough to recognize that my ego was wounded, rather than my heart.
“Good, because now more than ever, you need to hold your friends close. And Fury…” She paused, then walked over to where I was standing. “Try to settle in to this whole situation. We’re in for a long fight. You won’t be able to take Lyon down with a quick blow. You’ve lived in the shadows this long because Tam altered your chip, so this will be no different. There’s just somebody new in charge.”
“But everything is so different and up in the air.” I sighed, feeling overwhelmed. “Do you know how this will play out? Have the Fates given you any clue?” I wanted her to say yes. I wanted her to tell me that everything was going to be all right.
But she shook her head. “No, but I do know that Lyon won’t touch the Peninsula of the Gods. Even he isn’t that stupid or arrogant, at least for now. Meanwhile, we need to begin the next phase of your training.”
That was something I hadn’t expected to hear. “Training? I thought I finished training years ago.” I had spent most of my childhood at the temple, learning how to focus my energy, to track down the Aboms and kill them. A good deal of my training had been physical—learning to fight, to run, to climb. But for the past seven years, I had pretty much been the search-and-destroy weapon against the creatures.
“Oh, Fury.” Hecate laughed. “This is a whole new world, and everything is shifting. There are forces within you that I allowed to remain dormant because the Conglomerate would have snapped you up if they knew about your potential. But they’re no longer a factor. The world is in chaos, and I don’t care how hard they fight, the old structure is corrupt and crumbling. The Order of the Black Mist has been biding its time. They may be in charge now, but they—too—are an unstable force. The next few years will be volatile and dangerous, but perhaps the world needed another cleansing. And every Theosian who is left in this realm will be training, coaxing every ounce of power into their control that may have been left buried.”
I stared at her, two thoughts crashing in on me. One, we weren’t just at war. We were on the dawn of a new era, and that meant utilizing every advantage we had. It felt like a million miles had fallen between two weeks back, before Lyon had loosed the zombies on the city. Two, I had untapped powers, waiting to be awakened?
“I thought I had learned everything there was for me to learn—about myself, I mean.”
“Fury, you’re just beginning to wake up to your true potential. You can’t even begin to guess just how much more you have stored inside. Most Theosians are running on half-power. The Elder Gods thought it better that way—safer for all of you, given the nature of the Conglomerate.”
As I struggled to take in her words, I murmured, “The world really is being plunged into anarchy, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “And before long, all these lovely modern conveniences will be silent. Think about it, Fury. People will be leaving the city now, given Lyon’s ultimatum. But where will they go? To the other major cities of the world? Most of those are falling into chaos as well. Those that haven’t have walled themselves off and won’t welcome strangers. This isn’t a case of evacuating to a stable situation elsewhere, because there’s nothing stable left. Seattle’s already lost half her people to the zombies and disease. The workers who keep the electricity flowing, the food running? None of that will continue. And the system isn’t set to run on its own.”
“The entire city will be a ghost town.”
Hecate nodded gravely. “My territory, actually. Yes, the world will be plunged back into the state it was in shortly after the World Shift. Although, let us hope, without the catastrophic climate changes that happened when Gaia woke. Because face it, the Order of the Black Mist can disrupt the system and throw things out of whack, but they cannot effectively run a world.”
“What if they do manage to yank open the doors on the World Tree for the Elder Gods of Chaos? What happens then?”
Hecate held my gaze for a long moment. “Then, my Fury, you and I return to Olympus, if they let us in at that point.”
The others were waiting for me in the lobby. As I joined them, Kendall returned, looking a little shaken. Her arm was bandaged where they had removed her chip.
“Well, that wasn’t pleasant. What did I miss?”
I thought about everything Hecate had told me. “We need a place to plan. A safe place. Hecate reminded me of a few things that we need to take into account.”
“We can always meet in UnderBarrow,” Tam volunteered. “Even Lyon can’t break his way in there.”
“That will work. The only other safe place would be here, on the Peninsula of the Gods, but I’m thinking the less accessible, the better.” I glanced around. “We need to find Hans, Greta, Tyrell, and Jason, and head back.”
“Everything feels so up in the air,” Elan said.
“That’s because the rug’s been pulled out from under us. Don’t expect anything to go back to normal, either. It’s only going to get worse.” I wondered if I sounded as grumpy as I felt. I had liked my life—maybe a few things weren’t incredible, but overall, I was used to my routine and it had suited me.
Tam took my hand. “Take a deep breath and let it out. Kendall and you—you’re still new to the world. Those of us who have been around for thousands of years have seen nations rise and fall. I walked through the World Shift, and trust me, you think this is chaotic? It’s nothing compared to what Gaia set loose. It took centuries for things to calm down after that.”
I had forgotten that Kendall and I were the youngest of the group. Greta was a little older. Elan and Laren weren’t nearly as old as Tam, but they were far older than we were. Hans was around Jason’s age—in his two hundreds.
“How do you go through change this drastic and keep your sanity? How do you manage when nothing seems stable?” I squeezed his hand, holding tight. He felt incredibly solid to me right now, a welcome anchor in an uneasy sea.
“It’s simple to give advice, not easy to take it. But…you must quit expecting the world to run smoothly. Life is a bumpy ride, and we’re just all along for the journey. Find your center and core deep inside of you, and hold on tight. As long as you stand in your own power, the world can run like a kaleidoscope and you’ll always have your footing.”
I stuck my tongue out. “That’s one of the most pithy pieces of advice I’ve ever heard. But I guess you’re correct. So, blink, and society crumbles. A new order rises, and we take it in stride. And Hecate’s planning out a new training session for me, and I have no idea what that’s about. But she says I haven’t reached anywhere near my full potential.”
“Athena told me the same thing,” Kendall said. “I’m to begin training next week. I have no clue what to expect.”
I nodded, thinking back. Several times, when the need was strong, I had summoned a fire strike. While fire was my element, I had never been trained to control it, only to wield it in my weapons. My gut told me that was what Hecate was planning. I was being readied to walk through the fire again.
We stopped at the Temple Valhalla, where Hans and Greta joined us.
“I’m flying up tomorrow,” she said.
“You’re getting your wings?”
“Yes, Freya told me today. Can you come to the ceremony? She said to bring my family, and you are as close to family as I have.”
We promised to be there. At that moment, Jason joined us.
“I was watching the news in one of the restaurants. Did you see?”
As I looked at him, I realized that I had no desire to continue our quarrel. I was with Tam. My mother and father were dead. The past no longer mattered.
“The Regent? Yes. We have a lot to discuss, so we’re heading back to UnderBarrow where we can be sure of privacy. Jason, walk with me, please?” I patted Tam’s hand and he gently withdrew, slowing to allow Jason and me to pull ahead.
As we sped up, I sought for my words. I was blushing, but it had to be done.
“My mother…”
“I never meant for you to find out that way. I never meant for you to find out at all.” Jason ducked his head. “Remember, I’m almost two hundred years older than you are. You weren’t even—”
“Around. I know. Hecate told me that you aren’t my father, by the way. She saw the DNA report when I was bound to her.” I paused, trying to figure out just how much to explain. After a moment, I decided to come clean. “You know that as I grew up, I looked up to you. For whatever reason, I ended up on your doorstep.”
“I think Marlene programmed it into you. She told you over and over when you were a baby that if you were ever in trouble, to come to me. That I’d help you. I told her that I’d be there for you if needed, especially after she found out your father was ill.” He looked as uncomfortable as I felt, but at least we were talking.
“I see.” I stared at the snow as we came to the great gates separating the Peninsula of the Gods from the rest of the city. “Jason, why? Why her?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about your parents. Your mother never told you. She wanted you to remember only the good things.”
“I remember my father dying. I remember him coughing his lungs out. I remember being so afraid and so angry that I told kids at school that he had gone on a long trip and wouldn’t be back for years. I was afraid of what the disease had turned him into—a shell of the man I had looked up to.” I bit my lip. “Queet told me that you were there for both of them when he was sick. I don’t remember you.”
“You were always focused on Terry. I think, the times I saw you, you barely noticed I was around. He loved you dearly, but…Kae—Fury—he wasn’t very nice to your mother.”
I froze. “What do you mean? He was a good-hearted man.”
“Yes, but the disease… How much do you know about blue-lung disease?”
“I know my father died from it. Isn’t that enough?”
He reached out to tilt my chin up so I was gazing into his eyes. “Kae, blue-lung disease changes not only your body, but your personality. Your father was suffering from the beginnings of it before you were conceived. It takes a long time to present, and then a few years to kill you off. It made him unpredictable. Marlene—” He paused as I flinched.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s just, still a jolt.”
“Your mother had a hard time coping with the changes. He’d go out and spend all the rent money on gambling. I gave your mother money to cover your rent five or six times before she talked to the Metalworks and had them start directly depositing the cash cards into her account. She was able to get power of attorney over your father. He was still able to work, but incapable of making good decisions.”
“And you were there to comfort her.” The thought made me queasy, but a part of me understood.
“Neither one of us ever planned on getting involved. One night, she came down to the store to talk to me. Terry had stayed out all night drinking. She was in tears. He had called her an ugly name—which I will not repeat—and then told her he was sleeping with a play-girl. We were alone, and I was trying to comfort her, and…”
“And you ended up in the back, I assume?” I frowned. None of this was making me comfortable, but I had to hear the truth. And I knew Jason well enough to know he wouldn’t lie now that everything was coming out.
“Yeah, we did. I wanted to take her away, to make her smile. But she wouldn’t leave your father because he was sick, and I couldn’t leave, because…I knew that Eileen and I were about to be engaged.” He said her name with a hint of regret. “Your mother and I had no future together, but we made life bearable for one another, for at least a little while.”
“How well did you know Eileen?”
“Not well. In fact, I didn’t want to get married, at least not to her. But the Cast would never have accepted your mother, especially since she was already married. I would have run away with her if she had asked me to, but Marlene never would. Then she got pregnant with you—I knew she was still sleeping with your father on occasion. I didn’t begrudge him that, or her. And once she knew that you were on the way, she broke it off with me.”
“You loved her.” It hit me that Jason and my mother had been star-crossed lovers.
“I did. And she loved me. But I also loved your father—or the man he had been before the disease addled him. Once he knew she was pregnant, he began taking the medication designed to make the disease easier on the mind and emotions. But the drug worsens the physical symptoms. He did that for your mother, and for you. I realized then that I needed to back away a little. To give Marlene and Terry the years together that they had left, without influencing her feelings. I needed to let you all be a family.”
I wanted to cry. My mother had never told me any of this. I had thought that blue-lung disease only destroyed the body, but I had never known that it tore apart the mind, as well. My father had accepted an early death just so he could be there for Marlene and me in spirit.
“Did you like Eileen?”
“You mean when we were engaged? Not particularly. I barely knew her. We got along all right, but I was in love with your mother. Eileen found out. She found a couple of the notes I had kept that Marlene wrote to me. She threatened to tell the Cast that I had been sleeping with a married woman. Human lovers they can accept, to a point. But a married woman? No. The Cast is very particular about such matters. I asked what it would take to keep her silent. She wanted to be part of my family—we’re higher in caste than hers was. So she said that as long as I kept my nose clean and was never alone with Marlene again, she’d keep quiet about the affair.”
“What happened when I showed up? What did she do?”
A dark cloud washed over Jason’s face. “Eileen laughed and said that, at least she wouldn’t have to worry about me running off to Marlene ever again. I slapped her—the only time I’ve ever struck a woman. I hit her so hard I knocked her on her ass. She knew she had gone too far, and we spent a couple weeks apart. She apologized and agreed that I should raise you. That was that. But I think she was always jealous of you because you reminded her that she wasn’t really the light of my life.”
Now was the perfect time. I let out a long breath as we trudged through the Trips. “I was always jealous of her, to be honest. You know that I…” I paused, still unable to say the words.
Jason glanced down at me. “I haven’t made it easy. I treated you like a child long after you left those days behind. But I couldn’t give you hope, Kae. Do you understand? I couldn’t let you think that I might ever…”
I nodded. “I do now, but I wish you had told me this earlier. It would have saved me a world of wasted daydreams, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” I reached down to scoop up a handful of snow. “I guess it’s over now. I’m with Tam and you finally found someone you can love—and don’t protest. I see the way you look at Elan. Just promise me one thing?”
“What’s that?”
“That if you and Elan get together, you’ll always have room for good friends.” I straightened. “I’m happy with Tam, and I love him. But you’ve always been special, Jason. And now, I know how special. Thank you for helping my mother. For being there for both of them.”
Jason was about to answer when Queet rushed up around me, gusting like the wind.
Fury, Abom coming up. Bring up your Trace screen.
And just like that, I was back in action.