Chapter 15
The next morning, by the time we were awake and groggily eating breakfast, Hecate received word that the road through the Edge was impassable. The tsunami had flooded it so badly that it was still underwater.
“Great, so what next? The cars can’t drive off road. Not through these woods.”
“We were headed into the Wild Wood anyway. I’ll summon the horses I’ve borrowed when we’re ready to leave. They’re not exactly coming from a ranch, so bringing them here won’t be any harder than where we had originally planned to meet.” Hecate was eating a toasted cheese sandwich, which seemed odd to me.
Even odder, the Elder Gods had actually erected a very large walk-in tent and slept there, instead of fading back to whatever realm they went to when they vanished from ours. I had never thought of them as needing sleep, and the thought that they actually would make camp and rough it with us seemed a little boggling.
Hans and Greta looked incredibly happy and just being around them lifted my spirits. Greta’s wings flicked softly as the snow landed on them, and I found myself mesmerized by the feathers. They had sparkled the night before and I thought that might just be magic, but now that I looked closer, I saw they had an iridescent sheen to them that caught the light, be it campfire or even diffused light through the clouds.
“Are you the only gods who have moved into the Wild Wood?” Kendall asked.
“No, the Celtic pantheon has always been there. But they’re moving to be near us. And others are scoping out areas in which to build their temples.” Hecate paused, a frown on her face as though she was trying to decide whether to say something.
Finally, she said, “Some of the Elder Gods who returned to Olympus are rethinking their choice. I believe most—at least from the temple Naós ton Theón—will be returning as we rebuild out in the wilds. And if Zeus and Hera are second-guessing their choices, you can be sure a number of others are too.”
That news cheered me up. I liked having the gods near.
“All right. We should get packed up. You said you could summon the horses here?” Hans and Thor began to ready the table to go back in Thor’s chariot.
Hecate moved to the side, motioning for us to stand back. She let loose with a loud whistle, and a vortex began to spin, looking like a sideways whirlwind made of waves. As the portal grew wider, a group of white horses began to run through. The moment I saw them, I realized they belonged to Poseidon. They were stunning, as white as the snow, with long flowing manes that sounded like waves on the sea as the wind blew through them.
One of the stallions trotted over to nudge me with his muzzle. I realized that the look in his eye seemed very familiar. I leaned close, touching the mane. A ripple of energy ran through me and I let out a gasp. I knew this horse!
“Captain Varga!”
Varga was a Theosian sailor whom I had helped out only weeks before when his boat was riddled with ghosts. But he could never come ashore unless he was willing to change shape because the moment Varga set foot on land off his boat, he turned into one of Poseidon’s stallions. I wanted to ask why he was here, but there was no way to get an answer, so I simply whispered in his ear that I remembered him. He nudged me again.
“I see you found him,” Hecate said. “You ride Varga, Fury. He’ll protect you well.”
The horses were saddled and ready to go. As we transferred our gear to them, balancing out the loads, I managed to corner Hecate near the fire.
“You wanted to tell me something before the wedding last night. There’s something you want me to see, I think?”
She nodded. “Along the way, in the Wild Wood, there’s an old shrine dedicated to me. Remember when I said it’s time to expand your powers to the next level? Once we’re there, you’ll undergo the ritual that will bind you to my fire in a way you have never experienced.”
I held on to Varga’s bridle, staring at the horse. “Will it hurt?”
“I won’t lie. It will hurt, and you will walk through the fire like the phoenix.”
My stomach was once again tying itself in knots. “Will I be in danger?”
“You are always in danger, my Fury,” Hecate said. “You will face your fears and doubts. You must be willing to destroy, in order to learn how to create. I had not thought to put you to this test for a long time, but circumstances necessitate that we prepare you for what is coming.”
“What do you mean?” I looked up at her, and in her eyes I saw fear like I had never before seen in my Lady’s gaze.
“Lyon is alive. And he’s now at the World Tree, attempting to open the gates to Chaos. We cannot stop him from here. If he manages it, we will be facing far more dangers than Abominations. The demons of Chaos are madness incarnate. The initiation you’ll be going through will allow you to tackle them as you do Aboms, but this means transforming your fire so that it’s stronger and better under your control.”
“Then Lyon’s won?”
Hecate smiled grimly. “The battle, Fury. He’s won the battle, not the war. This is no longer a local issue—no longer possible to nip in the bud, so to speak. ”
And so we started out, with Varga bearing me and my gear at a stately gait. As the snow fell, we abandoned the cars, and with Thor leading the way in his chariot, Sif at his side, we began our march north.
Two days later, a day before we were to reach Verdanya, Hecate called a halt in the middle of the morning.
“We camp here for the day. We’re near my shrine and Fury will need to visit there tonight.”
As we made camp, Jason squatted next to me as I rested on a tarp spread over the snow, conjuring fire to start a blaze in the fire pit. We were in what had once been a park, Hecate said, although all remnants of the past were gone, except for the ruins of a stone building that had housed bathrooms.
“Are you afraid?” He handed me kindling as I shifted a few of the logs.
I took the splinters of wood, then held out my hand, coaxing a small ball of fire to appear. I touched the wood to the flames and they caught immediately, and I quickly tucked them under the pile of logs. The kindling caught the smaller pieces of wood, and I blew the tiny fireball into the center, where it blazed to life against the stacked wood.
“I might be.” I stood, arching my back. “I think I’m still shell-shocked by the past few days. What’s one more transformation, after what we’ve been through?”
He shifted from one foot to the other. “I wanted to thank you for talking to Elan. We’re going to give it a shot. I think we have a chance.”
I grinned at him. “Good. You should be happy.”
“Then we’re good? You and me? You know, because of your… Marlene.”
I let out a long breath. “Jason, it’s over. In the past. I’d rather not dwell on it, but yeah, we’re good and I’m all right. Let’s leave it for what it was. Though sometime…maybe you could tell me more about my parents. There’s so much I probably never knew.” A pang hit my heart that he had known them both far longer than I had gotten to.
He pulled me into his arms, giving me a long hug. We stood there for a moment before he kissed the top of my head. “I’d be happy to. And Fury, I don’t look at you like a child. Not now, not anymore. But I’ll always feel like I’m your protector. That will never change.”
We headed back toward the horses to finish unloading and setting up camp.
That evening, Thor was leading a sing-along fueled by plenty of ale, when Hecate appeared out of the tent-o’-the-gods, as we had taken to calling it. She motioned to me.
“It’s time, Fury. Bring your sword and your dagger. Change out of that skirt into a pair of your shorts. You’ll need access to your whip.”
I nodded and slipped into the tent that I was sharing with Elan. There, I pulled off the long skirt and slid on a pair of my leather shorts. I had on a V-neck knit sweater, and my leather jacket and calf-high boots made for tromping through the woods. The boots had a solid tread that worked on snow as well. As I sheathed Xan and slung her over my shoulder, and fixed my dagger back in my thigh sheath, I decided that—whatever came of this new phase—I would welcome it with open arms. The world had shifted and I wasn’t about to be left behind, faltering because fear held me back. Hecate had faith in me. Tam loved me. That was all I needed.
“Lyon, you haven’t won the war yet,” I whispered, emerging from the tent.
To my surprise, I found Sif standing there. I tried to curtsey as best as I could without toppling into the snow.
“A simple nod will do. We’re not standing on formality here,” she said. The golden-haired Viking goddess was holding a long black-feathered cloak. She held it out. “You’ll need more protection against the snow. Please take this.” It wasn’t a request, but more of an order.
“Thank you,” I said, wondering what Hecate would think. I slid my arms through the arm-slits and the cloak settled around my shoulders as though it had been made for me. It was warm and lighter than I thought. “But why…”
“Am I helping you? We’re all in this together, Fury.” And with an enigmatic smile, she walked away.
I was surprised by how maneuverable the cloak was as I tromped my way through the snow back to the fire. It didn’t get underfoot and as I thought about my whip, the opening in front pulled back on its own, offering me easy access. I blinked. Was the cloak sentient? As if in answer, it snuggled itself tighter around my shoulders, almost as though it were hugging me. Feeling disconcerted but grateful, I came to a halt three steps away from Hecate.
She glanced at me, but said nothing about the garment. “Are you ready?”
“I suppose I am. As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Then climb astride Varga and let’s be off.” She swung up on her horse, and it was then that I noticed that Captain Varga was saddled and ready to go. As we set off into the darkness, Hecate held up a wand and it lit up the way with its pale blue fire, guiding us through the night.
We had been riding in silence for the better part of an hour when Hecate paused, then nudged her horse with her knees to turn off onto a side path. She led me into a patch of deep forest, where we stopped in front of the entrance to a cave that was buttressed up against a small hill. As she swung down from her horse, she turned to me.
“We’re here. Dismount.”
I eased my way off Captain Varga, patting his head. He nuzzled me gently, then pushed me forward with his muzzle. He certainly made for a bossy horse.
“What happens next?”
“You enter the cave with me. It’s that simple.” She led the way and I found myself in a small cavern that was illuminated by a soft glow—a pale ivory tinged with blue.
“What do I have to do? Do I fight something?” I was tense, ready for a battle. In fact, I realized that I was waiting for some monster to appear. Perhaps a massive Abom, or maybe a Ker demon. Or worse.
Hecate motioned for me to sit down on a stone. There were three of the flat-topped boulders, surrounding a large cauldron. She took her place opposite, and a pale silhouette appeared. I couldn’t make out anything except the figure looked to be a female about my size and shape. The figure sat on the third stone.
Hecate held out her hands and the silhouette took her left hand. I took Hecate’s warm hand in mine, and then gingerly accepted the silhouette’s cool, almost intangible fingers.
The cauldron began to fill on its own, a steaming swirl of water, like a fog-shrouded lake. When the vessel was full, Hecate blew on it and the mist grew, shrouding the chamber so that the only thing I could see were the vague forms of the Elder Goddess and the silhouette. Both were sparkling, and I realized that I, too, was probably glowing.
“Fury,” Hecate said. “You must make a choice tonight before we awaken your fire. I offer that choice to you now. Look into the cauldron.”
As I gazed into the steaming water, it rippled. I found myself falling into the mist, and then…I was standing in the kitchen of a cottage, much like the one I had passed by on the way to the Arbortariam. Everything had a warm, homey glow to it. I was wearing a pretty, floral dress, and the first thing I realized was that the tattoo of the whip was no longer on my leg.
“What? What’s this?” I looked around for Hecate, but I couldn’t see her. It was then that I realized I was seeing out of someone else’s eyes, and suddenly I knew that this body belonged to the silhouette.
“Fury, this is one possible future.” Hecate’s voice echoed in my ears. “Watch and learn.”
As I waited, two children raced into the room, and right after them came a man. He looked terribly familiar and yet I had no clue who he was. Before I realized what he was doing, he had swept me up in his arms, kissing me playfully. His lips were warm and loving, and the kiss felt incredibly safe.
The children grabbed me around the knees, laughing, and automatically, I leaned down to ruffle their hair. I heard myself whispering something about dinner to them, and they ran out of my sight, laughing. I turned back to the counter, and the man edged in behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. As he nuzzled my neck, I could feel that the tattoo marking my binding to Hecate was gone as well. I stared at the food in front of me, at the wintery scene out the farmhouse window, and then—before I could say a word—it all vanished and I was back in the cave. The mist shifted as the silhouette leaned close, staring at me.
As I fastened my gaze on her, I realized that she…was me.
“Hecate, what’s going on?” I asked softly.
In answer, she whispered an incantation and the cavern shifted, vanishing. I flinched, but when I opened my eyes, I saw that the two of us were standing at the juncture of the Crossroads, next to the cauldron.
To the left, the fork in the road was glowing with a pale blue light. Hecate pointed to the sign, reading it aloud.
Stand at the Crossroads
State your claim
To seal the deal,
Strike the flame.
“This decision normally wouldn’t be offered to you at this point. But circumstances have forced my hand. You have witnessed an alternative path that I can offer you. One in which you are human again, free of my bindings, free to live a life that is both comfortable and safe. As you know, realities shift and merge on the World Tree as well as here in the Crossroads.”
I realized what she was going to say and a swell of panic rose up. I didn’t want to have to make the choice.
“I can send you through to that world, to that realm. You will remember nothing of your time with me or here. You’ll have different memories, and your life will take a vastly different path, although it will seem as though that’s the only life you’ve lived. You must decide. Stay, or go. Accept a path of safety and comfort, or stay in this wild, frightening world.”
I stared at her. She was offering me peace on a silver platter. Peace and comfort. Love and the ability to lead what looked like an incredibly normal life.
“You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Yes. All Theosians reach a point in their service where the Elder Gods offer them a chance to shift their reality. This is the alternative path that is open to you.”
I let out a long breath. “And if I do decide? What will happen to me here?”
“I will return to the camp without you, and you will be remembered, but out of our reach. And out of the reach of all the Aboms, and of Lyon.”
I thought about it for a moment. To be safe and comfortable seemed like a blessing, but then—who would do my job here? And I would lose Tam, and Hecate, and all my friends. I wouldn’t know I had lost them, but the thought of letting go of my life here, as hard as it had become, left a hollow inside. The thought of letting Tam go was heart wrenching.
“How many Theosians ever choose their alternate lives?”
Hecate shrugged. “Few, to be honest. A few have chosen to make the change, but only a handful.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then you undergo the ritual, and continue on, awakened to your full Theosian self.”
And what that self was, she wouldn’t tell me. I thought about it, thought about how it might feel to lead a life where I wasn’t constantly battling things. Where the world didn’t seem so crazy. But in the end, I knew I couldn’t do it.
“I am who I am, Hecate. I don’t want to be anybody else, even with all the dangers and troubles we face.”
“You must refuse me thrice then. Once: Will you step into your alternate life?” She held out her wand, pointing it at me. The tingle from the energy sizzled.
I shivered. “No.”
“Twice: Will you step into your alternate life?” Again, the sizzle as the energy leaped off her wand to land on me.
“No.”
“Thrice: Will you step into your alternate life? Think carefully, since this will be the only time you ever get this chance. If you say no again, you will forever be bound to me.”
I paused for a second, but then shook my head. “No. I will stay at your side, bound to you through time, Hecate.”
There was a silent swish, as though a curtain came sweeping down to close off an exit. The fork in the road settled down, the glow vanishing. I let out a long breath.
“It is done, then. You have made your decision.” She motioned me out of the middle of the juncture. As I moved, a large fire sprang up in the center, a circular veil of flames that were blue and orange, with flickering hints of yellow. Within the center of the veil loomed a dark sphere, as large as a small room, jet black with an aura of blue flame.
“Step through the flame, into the center of the orb. Do not flinch and do not stop once you start. What is about to be done can never be undone.”
I regarded her for a moment. “What about Xan and my dagger?”
“They must go with you. Once you are at the center, you will know what to do.”
I summoned up my courage. I had my chance to walk away, but I knew that even if I had been interested, I wouldn’t have done it. This was who I was—Fury, bound to Hecate. It was all I had ever known, and as comfortable as the other life had appeared, it was as alien to me as the Devani were to this world. There were times when you had to be true to your nature, even if you weren’t quite sure what it was.
Straightening my shoulders, I stepped toward the flames. They roared to life, flaring up, their heat blistering my face as I neared them. A pang of fear raced through me. Would they burn me to ashes? Lick my clothing till it burst into flames? Char me to the bone?
But Hecate was watching and she had said do not flinch, do not stop. I pressed on.
The flames crackled around me as I reached the outer circle. I shivered but kept going. I entered the veil, not sure what to expect, and instantly I was engulfed. The heat didn’t burn, but the energy tripped over my skin, hopping like a live wire, snapping and crackling as a thousand tiny needles prickled every cell in my body. I forced myself to keep moving. If I stopped, it felt as though I’d be cocooned by the energy, at the mercy of a thousand lightning strikes.
A moment later and I stood on the edge between the flames and the dark orb. It wasn’t solid, I could tell that now, but malleable, like ink contained within a force field. I pressed on and found myself in the middle of an ocean of darkness.
The void around me swayed, rocking me as though I were in a sea of dark waves. I could move no further. I stood there, uncertain, but my eyes kept trying to shut. I couldn’t keep them open. Another moment, and I fell into the abyss.
First, there was blackness. Out of the shadows crept the light—brilliant beings of flame and fire, dancing around me. I couldn’t remember my name or what I was, but I knew I existed.
The fiery figures burned brightly in shades of orange and yellow, purple and blue, brilliant magenta and blood red. They seemed interested in me, so I held out my hands. One by one, they touched my palms, and vanished into my skin, racing beneath it like burrowing beetles, seeking out my veins to flow into my blood. They set me ablaze, and I was blindingly bright.
From somewhere, I heard a drumbeat and a woman singing. I couldn’t see her, but her words echoed around me as the flames integrated with my cells. Pain shot through me, like hot pokers shoved under my skin. The intensity soared, and I hurt so much that I couldn’t even scream.
Still the woman sang on.
“Fire, fire, burning higher, know that you are my desire.
Fire, fire, burning bright, summon up the dark moon night.
Fire, fire, burning coals, become you now my life and soul.
Fire, fire, burning brand, here is where I make my stand.”
Another flash, and the flames moved inside my mind, stripping me bare down to the roots. All I could see were glittering bands of light. And then, slowly, I began to make out my form, to feel my body, and I heard my name echoed over and over.
Fury…Fury…Fury…
I sucked in a deep breath, breathing the flames deep into my heart, deep into my hands and my toes, my fingers, my stomach. The fire raced through my veins, imbuing themselves into my sword and dagger and whip.
As they settled down into a warm throbbing that echoed through me, I began to understand. I called out their name—a name that could not be pronounced, couldn’t be written, could only be given by the Fire Elementals themselves—and they heard. I knew their name, and with that, I could summon them with a thought and a need.
The power coursing through me sent me reeling, and I felt myself starting to resist.
The flames flared up again, stinging me until I let them whisper their secrets to me.
Commanding the flames doesn’t mean you are invincible. It doesn’t offer invulnerability. It merely allows you to call on us when you needed help, much like summoning the balls of fire in your hand. And yet…there is so much more that you will learn from us.
I tried to relax.
“My name is Fury,” I whispered. “I walk in a field of fire and flame, of burning ash and bone shards.”
As soon as I spoke, I heard Hecate.
You will learn the ways of Fire as time goes on, Fury. Now, close your eyes and rest.
As I obeyed, the flames cloaked me in their warmth and lulled me into a deep sleep.