Chapter 31
The sun streaming through her windows woke Katie. She blinked several times as she came awake with the scent of Shane’s cologne clinging to the sheets. He’d come to her during the storm, she remembered with a flutter of butterflies in her belly. Over and over she heard the words he’d said to her the night before on Luke and Sydney’s deck…
Judging by the way I felt earlier when I had no idea where to look for you, it’s quite possible that I actually love you, and I know for damned sure I want to be with you.
“I want to be with you, too,” she whispered to the humid morning sea air that floated through her open windows.
As she lay in bed and tried to puzzle her way through all the emotions running around inside her, she heard a rustling sound in the hallway before an envelope appeared under her door.
Katie jumped out of bed, wincing when her sore foot connected with the floor. She bent to pick up the envelope and tore it open to find Sand & Surf stationery and distinctly masculine handwriting.
Good morning, sweet Katie,
I’ve never been more thankful for thunder and lightning, because it gave me an excuse to hold you while you slept. I wish it didn’t scare you so much, but know that I’ll always hold you when the thunder comes.
You said you need time to think, so please think about this: You’re the only one I want. There’s no one else but you.
Love,
Shane
With his letter in hand, Katie went to the door and threw it open, looking for him in the hallway, but no one was there. She went back for her robe, pulled it on with trembling hands and went down the hall to knock on his door.
No answer.
When she turned back toward her room, Owen was coming out of his apartment. “Morning.”
“Morning.”
“Everything okay?”
“I was just looking for Shane. Have you seen him this morning?”
“He stopped by to play with Holden, but he’s gone to meet Mac at the house they’re building. Did you hear about the woman who was supposed to get the house?”
“I did. It’s so sad.”
“It sure is. They’ve got to figure out next steps with the house and how they can help her and her kids.”
Katie wasn’t surprised to learn that Shane wanted to help.
“What’s that?” Owen asked of the letter.
“Oh, um, just a note from Shane.”
“I thought you were taking some time apart.”
“We are.”
“So why is he sending you notes?”
“Because he had something he needed to tell me.” She folded the letter and put it in the pocket of her robe. “You said Holden is up. Is he available for playing with aunts or does he only prefer uncles?”
“He doesn’t have much experience with aunts.”
“Well, we need to remedy that.”
While Owen took care of some errands away from the hotel, Katie went to visit with Holden and Laura, who made coffee and breakfast for Katie, despite her objections. “You’re pregnant with twins,” Katie said. “I should be waiting on you.”
“Nonsense. I finally feel human again after months of morning sickness.” She put a plate of French toast on the table. “And besides, I need to eat, too.”
“Smells great.”
“It’s one of your grandmother’s recipes.”
Katie picked up Holden and put him in his high chair and laughed at the way he grabbed fistfuls of the Cheerios Laura put on his tray.
During the hour she spent with Laura and Holden, she reached repeatedly into her pocket to make sure Shane’s letter was still there.
“I suppose I ought to get downstairs to relieve Adele before she quits as my chief volunteer,” Laura said after they’d eaten the French toast, cleaned the kitchen and gotten Holden dressed.
“I’m sure she’s loving it. She told me how much she’s missed it.”
“Owen and I are still stunned by their amazing wedding gift.”
“The hotel is in good hands with the two of you. We all think so.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. We love it here. We’d been thinking about moving to a bigger place, but I think we might knock down a wall to make room for the babies and stay put.”
“You’ve certainly got the best view in town.”
“That we do.”
Katie rinsed out her coffee mug and put it on the drainer to dry. “Thanks so much for breakfast and the playtime with Holden.”
“It was our pleasure. He’s here any time you need a playmate.”
Katie went back to her own room and found another letter on the floor inside her door. Once again, she tore open the envelope and devoured the note.
Dear sweet Katie,
More food for thought… I saw Courtney this morning. She waylaid me after my run on the beach and again tried to convince me to give her another chance. I told her I’ve met someone else, and I’m happy with her. (HER = YOU, of course.) She tried to convince me that five years trumps five days every time. But not this time. She’s gone back to Providence to pick up the pieces of her life. I’m staying here. With you. If you’ll have me.
Love,
Shane
Katie covered her mouth with her hand and reread the note over and over. He’d sent Courtney away—again. He hadn’t changed his mind or decided to go back to his ex-wife. The relief she felt at that news took her breath away as she headed for the shower.
She emerged wrapped in towels to another note under her door. Since she knew he’d left for work, he must’ve gotten someone to deliver them for him.
Like the others, the envelope was shredded in her haste to read what he’d written.
Dear sweet Katie,
While you do your thinking, here’s what I’m thinking about… I dream about your soft skin and the pleasure I’ve found in your arms. I dream about how it felt to lose myself in you. I was reborn with you. I can’t wait to hold you and make love to you again.
Love,
Shane
Katie was on fire for him. She wanted him right now, but it was only ten o’clock. He wouldn’t be home for hours. The thought of that made her moan. She was still standing there thinking about him when another letter arrived. She ran for the door and threw it open, scaring the hell out of her grandfather.
“Poppy! What’re you doing?”
“Um, I… ah, your grandmother asked me to bring up this note that was left for you downstairs.”
“Are there more?”
“A couple more.”
“I’m coming down.”
“In a towel?”
That’s when Katie remembered she wasn’t dressed, which only added to her grandfather’s discomfort. “Be right there.” She closed the door and tore open the envelope.
Dear sweet Katie,
Another thing I’m thinking about… I’m so glad we didn’t drown that day at the beach. I would’ve been so sad if I’d missed the chance to know you. You make me hopeful again. I had given up on so many things, and you led me back into the light. Don’t give up on me.
Love,
Shane
She was going to spontaneously combust long before five o’clock. After she threw on shorts and a tank top and added the new letter to the growing pile on her desk, she went downstairs, moving as fast as she could on her injured foot.
“Give it up, Gram,” Katie said to Adele when she found her grandmother still working the reception desk.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Too late. I caught your messenger outside my door. You’re busted. I want the rest of them.”
“I’m afraid that’s not possible. I’m under strict instructions, so you’ll have to wait in your room for any future deliveries.”
“That’s not fair!”
“What’s not fair?” Sarah asked as she came in the main door.
“Gram has letters for me from Shane, and she won’t give them to me.”
“Mother, are you tormenting your granddaughter?”
“Not at all. I’m assisting a lovely young man who asked me to do him a favor. He was very precise in his directions.”
“Sounds like you have to wait, honey,” Sarah said.
“Ugh!” Katie went back upstairs to await the next note, which arrived a very long hour later, once again delivered by her grandfather. “How many more are there?”
“I don’t know. Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“Love you, Poppy.”
“Love you, too, pumpkin. For what it’s worth, he seems like a nice guy.”
“He is.”
“Don’t let me keep you. Go see what he has to say. You know you’re dying to.”
“I am!” With a smile for her grandfather, Katie stepped into her room, closed the door and tore open the envelope.
Dear sweet Katie,
More food for thought… Since we’re both sticking around on Gansett this winter, how about we get a place together? One with a fireplace. I love fires in the winter. Do you? Are you convinced yet that I’m serious about you? Do you believe me when I tell you you’re the only one I want?
Love,
Shane
“Oh God, Shane. You’re killing me.” Hoping to catch her grandfather making another delivery, she threw open the door and gasped when she found Shane standing there.
There was nothing left to think about when she jumped into his arms or when he lifted her into his kiss. Holding her tightly, he carried her inside and kicked the door closed behind him.
“What’re you doing home? I thought I had to wait hours to see you.”
“We’re at a standstill with the house, so I asked Mac if I could take another day off.” He kissed her again and then set her down on her feet. “I take it you got my notes?”
“Yes, oh my God, Shane. I can’t believe all the things you said.”
“Believe it. I mean every word.”
“You really want to get a place together? We just met last week!”
“Does that matter? We’re not kids anymore, Katie. If we want to be together, why can’t we just go for it?” He put his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. “What if there’s a thunderstorm, and I’m not there?”
Her laughter became a moan when he rolled her earlobe between his teeth, setting every nerve ending in her body on fire for him. The thought of being with him every day filled her with the kind of euphoria she’d never felt before.
“Katie… I want you so badly. I want you in every way that I can have you. When I thought I might’ve lost you… Tell me I haven’t lost you. Put me out of my misery.”
“You haven’t lost me. I want you just as badly. What you wrote, the things you said…”
“I’ve fallen completely in love with you.” He peppered her face with kisses. “Please tell me you feel the same way.”
“I do.”
“Why do you sound hesitant? Are you still thinking about it?”
“I’m not hesitant about you or wanting to be with you. Not anymore. Everything you said in your notes today… They were so amazing.”
“Then what is it? Remember when you told me to speak my mind and get it off my chest?”
She nodded.
He continued to kiss her while his hands explored her body. “I want you to feel that you can do the same with me. Put it out there, and let’s figure it out.”
“I can’t talk when you’re doing that.”
Laughing softly, he withdrew from her, dropping his hands to his sides and sighing dramatically.
Amused, Katie got on the bed and made room for him, patting the mattress next to her.
“Let me get this straight. I’m supposed to be in a bed with you and keep my hands to myself?”
“Just for a short time.”
He settled on the bed next to her, folding his hands and placing them on his chest. “I suppose I can do that.”
“Before we talk about us, did you hear anything more about your friend Lisa?”
“Apparently, David consulted with his colleagues in Boston, and they agree it’s too far gone for treatment other than making her as comfortable as possible.”
“Oh God.”
“David’s friend Jared and his wife, Lizzie, have donated nurses and equipment that will keep Lisa at home. Seamus and Carolina have offered to help with the kids, and there’s a fundraiser next week at the Beachcomber for the family.”
“The Gansett Island community doesn’t fool around.”
“There are good people here.”
“What about the house?”
“Mac and I are going to finish it and figure out what becomes of it later. It’s the least of the many concerns in this situation. It just makes me so damned sad that they aren’t going to get to live there. They were so excited about it.”
“You made her really happy for months by making her dream come true.”
“Still… Those poor kids. They’re so young.”
Katie smoothed her hand over his hair. “They’re not that much younger than you were when you lost your mom.”
“True, but I had my dad to get me through it. Who will get them through it?”
“People will rally around them. They’ll be okay.”
“I hope so. They’ve become important to Mac and me. We wanted to go see them today, but David said there was a lot going on there. We’ll go tomorrow.” He turned on his side and reached for her hand. “Thanks for asking.”
“If there’s anything I can do, I hope you’ll let me know.”
“I will.” Stroking her fingers, he looked into her eyes. “Are you going to talk to me about what you’re thinking?”
“I’m trying to figure out how I want to say it.” She fixed her gaze on their joined hands. “I want all the things you want, but I want us to spend more time together before we decide anything for certain.”
“Okay.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he said, smiling. “I want you to come with me to a cookout this weekend that my aunt and uncle are having so we can all meet my new cousin.”
“You have a new cousin?”
“Uh-huh. Big Mac found out recently that he fathered a daughter before he was married to Aunt Linda. Her name is Mallory, and she’s coming out to spend the week before Grant’s wedding. And then there’s the wedding… I get to bring a date, if you’re not doing anything.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Great, so that gets us through the next two weekends. What do you want to do after that?”
“I’m sure we’ll find something to do.”
“There’s always something going on here.”
“I really liked all of Laura’s friends last night.”
“It’s a fun group.”
“I could see that. I love how the guys always crash girls’ night.”
“And how they pretend they aren’t crashing. That’s my favorite part.” He brought her hand to his mouth and nibbled on her fingers. “Are we done talking?”
“You’re sure you’re okay with slowing things down a little?”
“How slow are we talking?”
“No major life decisions for a little while.”
“I think we need a deadline.” He thought about it for a second. “How about we give it until Grant’s wedding, and then we can talk about it again. Until then, we’re all fun and no big decisions.”
“All fun, huh?”
He scooted closer to her, sliding his leg between hers. “Lots of fun.”
Katie released his hand so she could caress his face. “What you said before about how you feel about me…”
“About how I’ve fallen in love with you? That?”
“Yes,” she said with a nervous laugh, “that.”
“What about it?”
“This is all so new to me. I’m not sure what that feels like.”
“Could I tell you what it feels like to me?”
She nodded.
“It’s hard to describe in words because we’re talking about a feeling, so bear with me, okay?” With his gaze fixed over her shoulder, he seemed to be choosing his words carefully, and Katie was on pins and needles waiting to hear what he would say. “Last night, when I couldn’t find you and Owen wouldn’t tell me where you’d gone, I was out of my mind. I felt like I was going crazy or something, knowing you were nearby and that I’d hurt you badly enough to make you cry. When I heard that, I would’ve given everything I have to be able to touch you and hold you and tell you how much I care about you and how badly I want to be with you. I had to wait hours—hours and hours—knowing you were upset because of me.
“And then when I walked into Luke’s house and saw you there, everything that was wound up inside of me settled. Even though nothing had been resolved between us, I felt calm because you were there. I could see you and touch you and talk to you. It was like everything I needed to survive was right there in one beautiful, sweet package. That’s what it feels like to me.” He shifted his gaze to her face. “Why are you crying?”
“Because,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks, “that was the most incredible thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“I mean it when I say I’m crazy about you.”
Katie reached for him, and their lips came together in a passionate kiss. Her mouth opened to his tongue naturally, as if she’d been kissing him for years rather than days. She couldn’t get close enough to him. Under his T-shirt, she caressed the warm skin on his back and loved that he trembled from her touch.
Breaking the kiss, he reached for the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head, baring his gorgeous chest to her appreciative gaze. “Your turn.” He pulled on her tank and helped her get it off. “Everything. Hurry.”
They pulled at clothes that refused to cooperate, making Katie laugh at the groan of frustration that came from him. “Goddamn it.” His shorts were stuck on the work boots he’d never taken off.
Katie couldn’t stop laughing.
“You’re definitely laughing at me this time.”
“I can’t help it. Who forgets to take off their boots?”
“It’s because you’ve got all the blood in my entire body traveling to one central place. I’m light-headed and woozy.”
Still wearing her bra and panties, Katie sat up on her knees. “Allow me to assist you.” She took her time untying his boots and removing them and his socks. The boots landed with a loud thunk on the floor.
“Someone downstairs is saying ‘There’s Shane McCarthy’s boots landing on the floor in the middle of the day.’”
“No one is saying that.” Katie removed his shorts and boxers, tossing them to the floor as well. Then she took a good long look at the naked man in her bed, licking her lips in anticipation of what was to come. Before her eyes, his erection lengthened, stretching past his belly button. She ran her hands from his shins to his thighs, which quivered in reaction.
His head came up off the pillow. “Katie… Come up here so I can touch you.”
“In a minute.”
He flopped back down, groaning as he went.
Katie bit her lip to keep from laughing at his distress. She bent her head and began to kiss his stomach, using her tongue to outline each cut of his abdominal muscles.
He fisted handfuls of her hair, directing her to where he wanted her.
“Tell me how you like it.”
“Anything you do I’ll love.”
She looked up at him. “Anything?”
“Anything at all.”
“Like this?” She wrapped her hand around the hot, soft skin that covered his shaft and began to stroke him, slowly at first, watching him to determine what he liked.
His hips came off the bed, which she took as a good sign. Since his eyes were closed, she was able to surprise him when she took him into her mouth.
“Ahh, God, Katie… Yes, like that. Suck on me.”
She did as he asked, drawing him into her mouth as far as she could while continuing to stroke him. Going on instinct alone, she added her tongue, which drew a sharp inhale from him.
“Katie… Baby, you have to stop, or I’ll come in your mouth.”
She drew back from him reluctantly, leaving him gasping for air.
The next thing she knew, he had turned them so he was on top and poised to enter her. He pulled away so abruptly, Katie cried out in dismay.
“Condom,” he said through gritted teeth as he reached for his shorts on the floor and nearly fell off the bed. “Don’t laugh.”
“I’m trying not to.”
He rolled on the condom as he returned to her. “You’re laughing.”
“I can’t help it. You almost fell out of bed.”
“It’s your fault for getting me so fired up I can’t function.”
“I did that?”
“Don’t pull that innocent act on me. You know exactly what you do to me.”
“Tell me… I want to know.”
Shane gathered her into his arms, his muscular body pressed against hers. “You’ve got me completely addicted to you. Your sweetness, your laughter, your softness.” As he spoke, he began to enter her slowly, whispering into her ear, “Your tight, wet heat. I like talking to you as much as I like doing this.” He gave her more, making Katie moan from the overwhelming pleasure that overtook her. “God, Katie…
“You make me wonder how I survived for so long without you. Without this.”
After that, there were no more words as they moved together. It was different this time. Katie couldn’t deny there was a deeper connection between them now. And as she came apart in his arms, she accepted she was lost to him. Completely and totally lost. She’d given him everything, her heart, her body and her soul.