Dan Torrington threw one hell of a bachelor party. Since Grant had been unwilling to choose one of his three brothers, he’d asked Dan to be his best man. They’d gorged on prime rib, lobster, top-shelf liquor and Cuban cigars at the party Dan had thrown for Grant at the marina.

Adam had drawn the designated-driver card that night, and delivered Shane and Owen back to the hotel just after three a.m., which was far too late to bother Katie.

Beside the fact he was more than a little drunk and nauseated from the massive overindulgence, he was also out of sorts, so he went to his own room rather than hers. He flipped on the light and noticed a white Sand & Surf envelope on the floor. When he bent to pick it up, he had to reach for the wall as the room seemed to tilt.

Taking the envelope to his bed, he sat and tore it open.

Dear Shane,

I hope you had fun tonight with your cousins and friends. I had a great time with the women. I love being part of this incredible group of people. I feel as if I’ve known them forever when it’s only been such a short time. Sort of like the way I feel about you… How can I feel so much for you when I only just met you? But I can’t deny that what I feel for you is love, as pure and simple as anything I’ve ever felt. I want all the things you said you want. But more than anything, I want you to be certain. I can tell something is weighing on your mind, and if you don’t feel you can talk to me about it, please talk to someone.

If the time isn’t right for us, I’ll be sad and disappointed, but I’ll survive. I wanted you to know that. Let’s enjoy this wonderful weekend, as planned, and talk after the wedding. I’m looking forward to spending more time with you and your family.

Love,

Katie

Shane moaned as he read her sweet words. She loved him, but she knew he was tormented. And here he thought he’d done such a good job of hiding it from her. He should’ve known she’d notice. She paid attention.

He stretched out on the bed, still holding her letter and thinking about everything she’d said and how perceptive she was. Try as he might to deny it, Courtney’s visit had screwed him up, and he needed to get some help before he ruined the best thing to ever happen to him.

His sleep was tormented and plagued by disturbing dreams about both the women who were on his mind. He woke with a pounding headache, a dry mouth and a plan. After a shower, some coffee and a couple of pain pills, Shane got on the bike and rode it to Big Mac’s house in North Harbor. He stepped through the gate into his aunt’s rose garden and took the stairs to the porch, where he knocked on the door.

Wearing a T-shirt and shorts and carrying a mug of coffee, his Uncle Kevin came to the door. “Hey, Shane.”

“Just the guy I was looking for.”

Kevin pushed open the screen door. “Come in.”

“Why do I feel like hell after last night, and you’re all chipper?”

“Because with age comes wisdom and the ability to say no after the tenth round.”

Shane laughed. “It was a good time even if I feel like hell today.”

“A fantastic time, but then any time I get to spend with my brothers, sons and nephews is the best of times.”

“Yes, it is.” Shane accepted the mug of coffee Kevin poured for him and stirred in cream. “Where is everyone?”

“Riley and Finn are still sleeping off last night’s gluttony. Mac and Linda are off making final preparations for the rehearsal dinner tonight.” Kevin leaned against the counter. “What brings you out so early?”

“Could I talk to you about something in sort of a professional capacity?”

“Of course. Let’s go out on the deck.”

Shane followed him through the sliding door and took a seat next to his uncle. “I’m sorry to drop in on you this way when you’re on vacation and away from other people’s problems for a while.”

“I’m always available to you. You know that. You’re all our kids. Doesn’t matter which one of us fathered you.”

“I love that about our family.”

“So do I, but I don’t think you came here to talk about our family.”

“No,” Shane said with a sigh. “Did you hear that Courtney came looking for me this week?”

“I heard rumblings to that effect.”

“Things were great, you know? I was doing so much better. The job with Mac, living near Laura and Holden, who I’m crazy about, being here with the rest of the family and then everything with Katie… I was better than I’ve been in a long time.”

“Your dad said as much to me, and I could see it myself.”

“But then she comes here and tells me everything she did was to protect me and she only divorced me to keep me out of a messy legal situation. She said she never stopped loving me.”

“Ah, Christ. I didn’t hear all that.”

“It’s fucked me up again, Kev. I don’t want to think about her. I want to think about Katie. I love Katie. She’s amazing and wonderful and kind and attentive. She’s everything that Courtney wasn’t. What you see is what you get with Katie, and I need that after what I went through with Courtney. So why, why, why can’t I stop thinking about Courtney telling me she never stopped loving me?”

“Because you waited a long time for some answers, and you’ve only had a few days to get your head around what she told you.”

“Unfortunately, those few days have been critical days with Katie.”

“Which makes it that much more complicated.”

“I feel like I’m losing my shit. How can I be thinking about a woman who treated me the way she did when I’ve got a new girlfriend telling me she loves me and wants to be with me?”

“What do you want, Shane?”

“I want peace. I want a family. I want Katie. I want to stop dwelling on stuff that doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It must still matter if you’re still dwelling on it.”

“Why does it still matter? What difference does it make if she still loves me or that she did what she did to protect me? I’m not going back to her.”

“It matters because you can’t hate her anymore knowing what you do now. It was easier when you could make Courtney out to be the villain in this situation. Finding out what you did this week puts you back to square one in some ways because it changes the story of how your marriage ended.”

“I can’t go back to square one again.”

“It’s not the same square one as it was when everything first happened and the wound was raw and open. It’s a different square one, but it requires some contemplation nonetheless. You lived for a long time thinking you understood what motivated Courtney. Finding out that everything you thought to be true was wrong is a shock.”

“More than anything, I’m afraid I’m going to mess things up with Katie. She’s tuned in to the fact that something’s bothering me.” He put the coffee cup on the table and sat back in his chair. “What you said about Courtney being the villain makes a lot of sense.”

“We all made her the villain. You weren’t alone in that.”

“She said she wants me to know the person she is now, but how would I ever separate who she is now from who she was then?”

“You probably can’t, which is why you sent her away.”

“I told her there was too much water under the bridge, too much history, too much pain.”

“Maybe you need to keep telling yourself that until you believe it. You say you want the life you have now with Katie, and it sounds like she wants you, too. So what’s stopping you from having that?”

“Only my fears about whether I’m being fair by getting in so deep with her while this stuff is still on my mind.”

“The only way you’re being unfair to Katie is if you don’t tell her that seeing Courtney messed you up worse than you initially thought, and how that has nothing at all to do with what you feel for her.”

“You’re saying I should tell Katie about this.”

“Yes. Tell her what’s been weighing on you and see what she says. All you can do is be straight with her.”

“I’m the first guy she’s ever dated.”

“Because of her dad,” Kevin said with a nod of understanding.

“Yeah, she took this huge risk on me, and I promised her I’d be worth it, and then this happened.”

“It’s not your fault, Shane. You couldn’t have known Courtney was going to come here or that she would say what she did. It seems to me like you’re blaming yourself for things that were outside of your control. Of course you’re going to be affected by seeing your ex-wife again after all this time. Of course you’re going to be shocked to hear that she never stopped loving you and didn’t really want to divorce you. How is any of that your fault?”

“It’s not, I guess.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You were a great husband to her. You did everything you could to make that marriage work. You stepped up for her even after you found out she’d stolen from you to support her habit. That would’ve been a deal breaker for a lot of guys but not you. At what point do you give yourself a break and acknowledge that you did the best you could in a horrible situation?”

Shane took a deep breath and blew it out.

“Are you still in love with Courtney?”

“No.”

“Do you want to get back together with her?”

“No.”

“Do you want to be with Katie?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“Then you know what you need to do.”

“And I’m not being unfair to Katie by committing to her when I’m still thinking about someone else?”

“You were with Courtney for a long time. You might always think about her. But you don’t want to be with her. That’s what really matters—and that’s what’ll matter to Katie.” He squeezed Shane’s shoulder. “But if you honestly feel you’re not ready to move forward with Katie, then you owe it to her to tell her that, too. You wouldn’t be doing her any favors in the long run if you stay with her out of some misguided sense of obligation.”

“That’s not why I’m with her. I feel like myself again with her, if that makes sense.”

“It makes perfect sense, and it sounds to me like you just answered all your own questions.”

“Thanks for this, Kev.”

“I’m glad you came to me. When I’m not here, I’m only a phone call away. Any time.”

Both men stood, and Shane gave his uncle a hug.

“Thank you.”

“Take it easy on yourself, buddy. You’ve been through a lot. More than some people endure in a lifetime. We’re all proud of how well you’ve been doing lately. Your dad wasn’t the only one who worried about you for a long time.”

“It’s been great to have you here. Wish you were staying longer.”

“I’ve got to get home after Grant’s wedding and deal with a situation of my own.”

“With Aunt Deb?”

Kevin nodded, his expression grim. “She’s left me for a younger guy, of all things.”

Shane stared at his uncle. “And you just let me go on and on about my problems?”

“I was happy to talk to you. It’s nice to think about something else for a change.”

“What’re you going to do?”

“Not much I can do. She wants out of the marriage.” Kevin shrugged. “What choice do I have?”

“Do Riley and Finn know?”

“They suspect something’s up because she didn’t come with us for the weddings, but I figure it’s up to Deb to tell them what’s going on when she’s ready to.” Kevin went inside and Shane followed him, still reeling from what his uncle had told him. “Call me if you need to talk again, okay?”

“This has been really helpful. I appreciate the time, and I’m sorry about what you’re going through.”

“Don’t worry about me. Take care of you—and your Katie. I have a good feeling where you two are concerned.”

“Thanks again, Kev.”

“I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you then.”

Shane rode off on his bike, thinking about everything his uncle had said. He took the long way around the island before returning to the hotel and heading upstairs. He desperately wanted to see Katie again but went instead to his own room. In the folder on the desk, he found a piece of Sand & Surf stationery and went to work on a new note to her.

Dear sweet Katie,

Thank you for your note this morning. I’ve read it a hundred times and committed every word to memory.

You were right when you said I’ve had something on my mind, and I want to talk to you about it after the wedding. In the meantime, I can’t wait to take you to the rehearsal dinner tonight and the wedding tomorrow. Everything is more fun when you’re with me. I’ll pick you up at seven.

Love,

Shane

He went down the hallway, slid the letter under her door and returned to his room. Talking to Kevin had helped. Shane had a clearer picture now of why he’d been so unsettled the last couple of days. He also had a clearer picture of where he wanted to go from here and who he wanted to take with him. Once he got past his cousin’s wedding, he’d get busy making that happen.

---

Wearing a dress shirt and tie with khakis and carrying a navy blazer over his shoulder, Mac went down the stairs, where David and Daisy were entertaining his children. “Thanks for doing this, you guys,” he said.

“We love spending time with them,” Daisy said. “It’s good practice for someday.”

“We’ll owe you a lot of babysitting when someday comes.”

Maddie came downstairs a few minutes later, wearing a black dress that clung to her sexy curves and her hair falling in waves around her pretty face. “You guys are going to be so good for Daisy and David, right?” she said to the kids.

“Don’t want you to go,” Thomas said, his lip out in a pout.

“We’ll be back when you wake up,” Mac assured him.

Maddie hugged and kissed both kids and followed Mac out of the house. He held open the passenger door to the SUV for her and waited for her to get settled.

“Thanks.” She put on her seat belt without looking at him.

He shut the door and went around to the driver’s side, the frustration of the last difficult ten days boiling inside him as he drove away from the house and headed for town. Suddenly, he couldn’t take the silence for one more minute. He swerved off the road into a parking lot for the bluffs and cut the engine.

“What’re you doing? We’re going to be late.”

“I don’t care.”

“It’s your brother’s rehearsal dinner.”

“I know where we’re going. But we’re not going anywhere until we talk about what the hell is wrong.”

“You know what’s wrong, Mac. Do I really have to explain it to you?”

“No, you don’t, but what I don’t get is why there’s this awful distance between us when we both lost something we loved. I can’t stand it, Maddie. It’s killing me.” His voice broke. “I can’t take feeling like you’re blaming me for what happened, or worse, you’re blaming yourself.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“Please, talk to me. Please.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks, each one of them like knives to his broken heart. He released his seat belt, got out of the car and went around to her side. Opening the passenger door, he reached across her to unfasten her seat belt. With his hands on her face, he forced her to look at him as he brushed her tears away with his thumbs. “Baby, please. I’m begging you. Let me in. I can’t do this without you.”

She broke down into sobs.

Mac put his arms around her. “Let it out, sweetheart.”

“Mac…”

“I’m here. I’m right here, and I love you so much.”

“So sorry.”

“For what, honey? Why are you sorry?”

“The baby…”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. This awful thing, it just happened. Not because of anything you did or didn’t do. It just happened.” He brushed at his own tears with his sleeve. “And it happened to both of us.”

Her arms encircled his waist, and Mac felt like he could breathe again for the first time in a week. “That’s it. Hold on to me.” He buried his face in her fragrant hair, wallowing in the familiar scent of summer flowers. Her brokenhearted sobs killed him. “It’s okay, baby. It’s going to be okay.”

Her hold on him tightened as she continued to cry. He had no idea how long they were there before she pulled back from him. “I’ll ruin your shirt.”

“I don’t care about the shirt. I care about you. I want you back. Please come back to me. I can’t function without you.”

“I… I thought you were mad at me.”

“No, baby. Everyone told me to give you space, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do. But I miss you so much. I need you.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. It was all I could do to keep myself together.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I just want you back, Maddie.”

She looked up at him, her face tearstained and her eyes rimmed with red. “I’ve missed you, too. I’ve missed us.”

“Maddie,” he whispered as he kissed her.

She kissed him back with all the usual enthusiasm.

Mac clung to her. Now that he had her back in his arms, he wanted to keep her there.

“We have somewhere to be,” she reminded him.

“Let’s skip it.”

“We can’t skip it.”

“Yes, we can. I’ll ask Adam to tell them you aren’t feeling well and we’ll see them tomorrow.”

“It’s your brother…”

“He’ll understand. He knew I was upset about things between us.”

“If you’re sure, I wouldn’t mind skipping it so we can spend some time alone together.”

“Let me just send a text to Adam.” Mac sent the text and asked Adam to give their regrets to Grant, Stephanie and his parents.

I’ll take care of it, Adam replied. Take care of your wife.

Thanks. We’ll see you all tomorrow.

“Put your seat belt back on for a minute,” Mac said when he got back in the car.

“Where’re we going?”

“A spot I remember from my former life as a teenager here.” He drove down a dirt road that twisted and turned, leading to a remote ocean overlook, which he backed into. “Come on.”

“Come where?”

“Meet me outside, and I’ll show you.”

Mac got out of the car and went to open the tailgate. He lifted Maddie into the back and then crawled in with her, making use of the beach blanket and towels she kept in the car.

“Why do I feel like you’ve done this before?”

“I’ve never done it with you.”

“Do the police come out here?”

“The chief is our brother-in-law. I think we’re good.”

Maddie laughed. “This is true.”

He traced the shape of her smile with his fingertip. “Nice to hear you laugh.”

“I’ve felt so sad. I’ve never been so sad.”

“Me, too, sweetheart.” When he gathered her close, she laid her arm across his stomach and rested her head on his chest. “I’ve been thinking that maybe we should give him a name. It might help us to remember and honor him.”

“I like that idea. What name should we give him?”

“We’d talked about Malcolm the third for a boy. Do you want to give him that name or do you want to save it in case we have another son?”

“Do you want to try again?”

“Only if you do.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“It’s nothing we have to decide now, but how about we save Malcolm just in case? We also talked about Connor.”

“We never actually decided to have him.” She hesitated before she said, “Connor.”

“No, we didn’t,” Mac said with a chuckle. “And neither of us will ever forget the night he was conceived.”

“Let’s hope Thomas forgets it.”

They shared a laugh that ended on a sob for Maddie.

“I loved that he came from that night,” she said. “I loved him, and despite what I said, I wanted him.”

Blinded by his own tears, Mac said, “I know, honey. I wanted him, too.”

“Connor. His name was Connor.”

“Yes, it was. And we loved him.”

“Mac?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. I never want you to think I don’t. I always do. No matter what.”

While he knew that, he certainly appreciated the reminder after the week they’d had. “Same to you. You’re my whole world, Madeline. As long as everything is okay between us, I can get through anything.”

“We needed this. Thanks for making me talk about it, and I’m sorry if I’ve been locked in my own grief.”

“You could make it up to me by kissing me again.”

Though her eyes were still damp with tears, she smiled up at him and gave him what he wanted and what he needed more than anything.