Seeing the guys had been wonderful. He hated going back home, but he had work. After meeting with two people and touring the hotel where his client would be staying, Mike seemed to be better, calmer. Lane worked the night they got back and slept like the dead the next day. He woke late and had to run out. Work was more of the same. He missed eating breakfast together then riding the bus home after Mike’s appointments with Sharron. They were picking back up in a couple of days, so he and Mike would again be on the same bus.

Once home, he stepped into the den and saw Mike had the TV turned to the news.

“Can you believe this shit?” Mike said.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s crazy. Central London looks like a disaster area. Someone set off a pipe bomb. There are five confirmed dead.”

“That’s awful.” He tugged off his shirt and wadded it in his hand. Mike was getting angry, and it wasn’t good. Lane hadn't seen that look in his eyes for a while. He needed to distract Mike.

Lane moved to him and wrapped his arms tight around Mike. It took a few seconds for Mike to relax in his hold. First, it was Mike’s shoulders, then his torso. Finally he huffed out a breath and leaned into Lane.

“Let’s go shower.”

“Sure.”

They both stripped, and he made an extra effort to be very loving. Once the water warmed, he dropped to his knees and sucked Mike. Eventually Mike got into it as Lane ran his tongue over his balls. He tugged on his nuts, and Mike growled. The agitation was gone, and Mike was calmer. Lane sucked down on Mike again, and he rocked his hips, fucking Lane’s face.

It was rough, but not too much. Mike was pumping in and then shivered, his muscles held tight. Lane swallowed Mike’s cum, then stood and jacked off, spraying his seed on Mike’s leg.

“That was hot,” Mike said.

“You ready for bed?”

“Sure. Sounds good.”

Mike still seemed off; Lane wasn’t worried, not yet. If Mike kept acting strange, He would ask for a joint session with Sharron.

They dropped into bed, pulling the covers up high. He snuggled close to Mike and kissed his shoulder.

“Seeing the guys was nice,” Lane said.

“It was.”

“I wish we could see them more often. I miss being with them.”

Mike kissed the top of his head. “I agree. It was great spending the whole day with them.”

“Yeah, that’s the only thing I miss about the military.”

Mike grunted and Lane drifted off. He was exhausted from their trip then working two nights in a row. He woke suddenly, unsure what was going on. Mike had him by the throat again. He gasped and pulled at Mike’s hands. He tried hard to get free. This time, Mike had him held down, and he didn’t think he would be able to get free in time before he passed out.

Mike shifted, and Lane got his leg under Mike’s body in such a way he could push him off. It took two tries, but finally, he had Mike dislodged. Lane scrambled up, moving fast to sit up and block Mike from coming at him.

“Stop!”

Mike paused, and Lane screamed again.

“Mike!”

It took a few more seconds but Mike shook his head and then grunted. “Oh shit, what did I…”

Lane’s neck hurt and his throat was sore. He had his knees pulled up, his arms wrapped tight. Mike was staring at him like he didn’t know what had happened, and he didn’t, Lane guessed.

Mike jumped up and started pulling on clothes. Lane was slower and didn’t stop for clothes; instead, he went after Mike, grabbing his shirt as he tugged on his day-old socks and shoes.

“What are you doing?” Lane asked.

“I can’t…I just…”

Lane realized he should have put on his clothes. Mike was dressed to head out. He grabbed his shoes and was gone, leaving Lane to find clothes. By the time he was dressed and downstairs, Mike was gone. He ran to the end of the block and looked, but didn’t see Mike. His buddy had disappeared.

Worry and depression hit, and he had no clue what to do. How had this happened? It had been a long time since the last incident. He’d thought they were okay, or at least he’d hoped Mike was getting better.

Depression followed Lane back to their apartment. He found his phone and dialed Mike. The ringing sounded in the next room. Mike hadn’t taken his phone.

“Fuck, Mike, where did you go?”

Lane drew in a slow breath and called Thomas because he didn’t know who else to call. Thomas answered on the first ring.

“Hey Lane, what’s up?”

“Mike took off. I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean, took off?”

He blew out a breath and dropped to the bed, resting his elbows on his knees. “I woke up, and he was choking me.”

“Fuck.”

“I’m fine. He needs help. I don’t want him running around alone. He’ll be homeless if—”

“Have you called the cops?” Thomas cut him off.

“I’m not sure what they can do. He’s not been missing for more than an hour. They’ll tell me to wait. Plus, he’s an adult. He should be able to take care of himself.”

Thomas cleared his throat. “I don’t know what to do. How can I help you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Clay can come up. I have a couple of charters I have to do. But I can come up this weekend.”

He shook his head as desperation filled him. “No, it’s not necessary.”

“Sure it is; he’s our buddy. I’ll see if I can get a flight for Clay.”

“God, I hate this.” He heard some noise, and Thomas didn’t say anything for a minute.

“Hey, Jake just got here,” Thomas said.

Lane wanted to throw up. “I hate this.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out.”

He hung up and tried calling Mike again, forgetting he’d left his phone in the apartment.

“Dammit, Mike. Where did you go?”

His phone rang and he answered, not even looking to see who was calling.

“Lane, it’s Brent. I’m in Chicago about to fly home. I’ll change my flight and head to New Jersey. I’ll send you my info once I get it situated.”

“You don’t have to.” Desperate for a solution, he had no clue what to do. He hated bugging his friends though.

“Hey, Mike is my friend too. He’s hurting, and we’re going to help him.”

“God, Brent, I don’t even know what to do.”

“We’ll think of something.”

Lane hung up and called Sharron, getting connected to her service. He left a message, asking her to call back. Then he called the two cops who’d stopped by. He knew the cops couldn’t really do anything since Mike hadn’t been gone for twenty-four hours, but maybe they would have some ideas.

“Charles here.”

“Charles, it’s Lane. You and your partner stopped by my—”

“I know who you are.”

Lane swallowed over his fear. “I have a problem.”

“Speak.”

“Mike had an episode and ran off.”

Charles blew out a breath. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine. I’m worried about Mike?”

“Okay, what was he wearing?”

Lane closed his eyes, trying to remember what Mike had been pulling on as he ran out. “Blue t-shirt—wait, he had on the green one. He had on jeans. His tennis shoes. Um, he was wearing the green shirt. Yes, a green t-shirt with the word bacon spelled out on the back.”

“Okay, I’ll put the information into the system.”

“I don’t want him hurt.”

“I’ll make sure they know he’s not to be harmed. He’s not to be arrested, and he’s not a danger to anyone.”

“Thank you. I really don’t want him to be hurt because someone is overenthusiastic.”

“Lane, I want to come by and see you. We’ll be there in a few minutes. I need to make sure you’re safe.”

“I’m okay. I’m not injured.”

“Hmm, I’ll be there in a few minutes and see for myself. Max is putting the information in the system. We’ll do what we can to find him. I know he’s having issues with PTSD. But he still can’t break the law.”

“Charles, I love him. Please make sure he’s safe.”

“Sure, will do.”

Lane hung up and sat down, waiting for Mike to come back. He had no clue where his friend was, or what would happen once he was found. He prayed the cops would be careful with Mike. It wasn’t fair that Mike had so many issues. They’d all come home from the same war, but Mike had more issues than the rest of them. He’d seen worse, but knowing it could be worse didn’t help.

Mike wasn’t just his best friend, he was his lover. He knew Charles was worried about him, and he was a little worried too, but he was more worried about Mike. This time Mike had scared him. What if it got worse? He didn’t want to think what would have happened had he not been able to adjust his legs and push Mike off.

His phone rang and he answered. “Mike?”

“No, it’s Sharron. Can you tell me what happened?”

“I woke up with Mike attacking me.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, but Mike is gone. I don’t know where he is. I’m afraid.

Sharron paused before she spoke. “I understand. I need to make sure you’re safe.”

“I am. Charles, one of the two officers who came the last time the cops were called, is stopping by.”

“Okay, that’s good. Have you tried calling Mike?”

“Yes, but he left his phone here. He’s got nothing. I’m so afraid.”

“I’ll see what I can do with my contacts. You do know, he may need to be hospitalized.”

Sadness filled him. “I understand.”

“It’s for the best. It would be only a couple of weeks.”

He nodded. “I get it. I just feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad. He just needs a little extra help. I’m sure whatever it is can be dealt with. Once we know more, we can work through this together.”

“Thank you. I’ll call you if I hear anything.”

“Thank you for calling me, Lane.”

Sharron hung up, and Lane moved to the window to stare out at the street. He missed his boyfriend. He wasn’t sure why Mike had run off, but he knew with Sharron helping them, they could figure it out.

The phone rang again, and Lane answered. “Hello.”

“Hey, it’s Brent. I’m landing at Newark at six this evening.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re coming here, but I’m not sure what you’ll be able to do.”

“I don’t know either, but I need to try and help if I can.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“Um, I’ll see you soon.” A loud noise sounded over the phone. “Sorry about that. It’s loud here. Anyway, I need to get some work done while I’m at the airport. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye, and thanks.”

Brent hung up and Lane didn’t know what to do with himself. He could be out there searching, but the city was huge. There were so many places Mike could have gone. He could be in Manhattan or he could have headed deeper into Jersey. It was frightening to think of his man out there alone. The weather wasn’t bad, so he didn’t have to worry about Mike freezing to death, but he was worried Mike would be hurt.

A knock sounded on the door, and he raced over. Maybe Mike didn’t have his key. He tugged the door open and saw Charles. Disappointment filled him.

“Did Mike come back?” Charles asked.

He shook his head as desperation built. “No, he’s still missing.”

“I’m sorry. Can we come in?”

“Sure.”

Max stepped in and glanced around. “So he didn’t hurt you?”

Lane shook his head. “Not really.”

Max drew in a slow breath. “Okay, I’m glad you weren’t hurt. We still need to look around.”

“Go ahead.” Lane waved his hand toward the other room.

“You still have that gun?” Max asked.

“Yes, but the ammunition is still locked in a box under the bed. I doubt he would have taken it. The gun is still in place, I checked.”

“Thank you,” Max said before heading to the bedroom with Charles right behind him. He stood there, wondering how his life had gotten this crazy.

”It doesn’t look like you two got into a fight in there,” Charles said as he stepped out of the bedroom.

“We didn’t. He was just…fuck. I don’t know what to do. What if I can’t find him?”

“Listen, Lane, he’s probably going to come home and be fine. Maybe he needs some extra therapy.”

Lane nodded then glanced away. “I feel terrible.”

“Why?”

“He’s out there hurting, and I didn’t catch up to him. I didn’t realize he was going to run off.”

“How could you have known?” Charles asked.

He shrugged. Anger filled him, but he wasn’t mad at Charles and Max. Heck, he wasn’t mad at anyone. “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

Charles patted him on the back then glanced at his phone after it buzzed. He looked up and nodded. “Different case. I’ll call you if I hear anything.”

“Thank you.”

Charles pulled open the door and stepped out, Max followed but turned to face Lane before he closed the door.

“Seriously, Lane, if you need anything, call. I know I’m not supposed to start looking for him yet, but I’m going to.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

Max and Charles were gone, and Lane stood in the center of the room, unsure what to do next. He needed to hear from Mike. Losing his man was frightening. Nothing would ever be the same without Mike. He stared out the window for another thirty minutes before he tugged on his shoes, scrawled a note begging Mike to stay if he came back.

He hit the streets and walked east then turned to the south before circling around to the west. There were so many people, so many alleys and streets to go down. Then there was the chance Mike had headed to Manhattan. The possibilities were endless.

After a couple of hours, he went back home and collapsed on the couch, staring at the wall, wishing he could figure out where Mike was. He heard someone in the hall and jumped up, raced to the door, and jerked it open. It was one of his neighbors.

What if Mike didn’t want to be with him? Could he survive if his lover walked away and never came back? What if Mike had taken off and headed to another state?

Lane jumped up and was about to head out to check on Mike’s car when he remembered Mike stored his keys in the top dresser drawer. He raced into the bedroom, pulled open the drawer, and found the keys there.

His emotions were all over the place. So much had happened, and he had no clue how to fix Mike or even if he could. It seemed like sessions with Sharron had improved things, but maybe he was wrong.

At six, Brent texted him. He’d landed and was heading over. Clay and Jake had somehow gotten a deal and would be landing at seven. They would fan out and search. They weren’t going to let Mike down.

When Brent showed up, Lane pulled him into a hug and held on tight. “God, what am I going to do?”

“I promise you this: When we find him, we’ll do everything we can to help.”

Lane nodded and choked back a sob. “He’s such a good man, but he’s sick.”

“I know.”

“What am I going to do?”

Brent held him for a few more minutes before pushing him to arm’s length. “Have you eaten?”

Lane stared at Brent, unsure how to answer. “I—I don’t know.”

“Okay, well, we’re about to have some hungry guys here. I’ll order some pizza and salad. We’ll at least have food in us for a night of searching. You go relax and take a shower or something. I’ll organize.”

Lane nodded and headed to the bedroom. He dropped to the mattress and closed his eyes. He’d failed Mike. His man had needed more help, and he hadn’t been able to give it to him.

Looking back, he should have insisted Mike go in for even more help. Too much had happened, and Mike couldn’t handle it all. He turned to his side and hugged Mike’s pillow. If his man never came home, he wasn’t sure what he would do.

He must have drifted off because, when he woke, he could smell something delicious. His stomach rumbled, reminding him he hadn’t eaten anything. He got up and splashed some cold water on his face before he went out to the main room.

The guys were all there, except Thomas who had to work. Clay came over and hugged him. “We’ll find him.”

Then Jake pulled him into a hug. “I know we can find him.”

“Thank you for being here.”

“Anything for you two. We’ll figure this out.”

Brent brought over a plate with two slices of pizza. ‘Eat this.”

“Okay,” He took a bite and moaned. Was the pizza so good because he was starving or was it just really good? They all chowed down, devouring one full pizza and some salad. After he finished his slices, he washed his hands and turned to face Brent.

“Do we have a plan?” Lane asked.

“Yes, I think we should fan out and go look at places homeless vets gather. I know he’s not homeless, but he’s upset, and he might try blending in. He probably feels bad.”

“He’s got nothing to feel bad about,” Lane said.

Clay put his arm around Lane’s shoulder. “Those bruises look awful. He choked you hard enough to leave those marks. I’m certain he feels like shit.”

Lane drew in a ragged breath. He didn’t want to start bawling in front of his friends, but he was close to losing it. “This sucks.”

Brent nodded. “It does. He needs help, and we’re going to make sure he gets the help he needs. I have a list of places to start. We’ll head out after we use the restroom. I’ve added to your note; if he decides to come back, maybe he’ll stay.”

“Should one of us stay here?” Lane asked.

“I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know. I think the faster we hit this list, the better chance we have of finding him. If we don’t find him in these areas, we’ll head to Manhattan. There’s a shelter I want to check out over there.”

“Okay, I’m ready,” Lane said.

The guys used the restroom and put up the pizza. Mike had been gone for hours. Maybe he was just hanging out, but Lane didn’t believe so.

Brent stayed with him, but Clay and Jake went off on their own. They were headed to four different places. Somehow, between arriving and getting pizza, Brent had found a place to make copies of his key. Each of them had a key to his apartment. When they got back, they would let themselves in.

Searching gave him something to do, but it didn’t change the fact he had no clue where Mike was or if he would ever find him.