MAX THREW A party. Of course she would. It was the only way she could get out of her head. Whenever there was a problem, she would put together a gathering. She needed to socialize for fear of losing herself.
After all of the shit she had to endure with Dale Michaels, she did everything in her power to forget.
I had been a shitty friend and wasn’t there for her when she needed me most. Although she had reassured me that everything was fine between us, I could sense the hint of jealousy seeping from her pores. It took everything in me not to beat Dale’s face in. The fucker got her pregnant but wanted nothing to do with her or the baby.
“What’s wrong, princess?” Angel asked, kissing my forehead.
“Ev … nothing.”
He frowned but didn’t argue with me.
Had it come to this? Did he now take my lies for what they were? Even though he knew I had been lying, he never questioned me.
After being together for months, I still couldn’t get over the fact that he had taken control of me where I needed it most. I did everything I could to give it to him willingly. He never took me for granted. But the part I had lost so long ago with Tyler still forced its way into my mind.
“I love you.”
He didn’t.
“You are everything to me.”
That wasn’t true.
“You’re mine.”
Which meant he could fuck anyone he wanted to but if I so much as looked at another man, Tyler’s fist would end up against my face. Or worse. It was always worse.
The first time he hit me, it shocked me to the core. I had been so surprised, I thought it wasn’t real. But being raised by my father and his bike club, I hit Tyler back without even thinking. Of course, he enjoyed it and it turned into the darkest dirtiest sex I ever had.
Every emotion, every hint of the love I thought I had felt for my ex was replaced from the first moment Angel looked at me. We enjoyed challenging each other. The violence I had endured with Tyler came so often I found myself getting used to it.
“Jay?”
I rose from the bed and turned toward Angel. Standing there naked, completely stripped bare for the man I loved, I waited.
“I love you,” he finally said.
“I love you too,” I whispered back. And I did. More than life. He was my sun, moon, and stars. The beginning to my end. My everything. But I didn’t know how to give him all of me in return. I knew I had to. I prayed. Begged for the words to leave my mouth to let him know that I was fucked up. To help him realize that I was just scared. The words never left my lips.
Under normal circumstances, Angel would have demanded that I join him in bed. He would then make promises to fill my mind and my body with only him. But I wasn’t in the mood. Not for him. Not for anyone. It wasn’t fair to him. None of this was his fault. It was the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” bullshit and it pissed me off even more.
Angel slid his legs over the side of the bed, brushing a hand through his dark hair. “I love you,” he repeated. “Know that. And I will spend the rest of my life showing you that I’m not him.”
My heart jumped. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Angel let out a heavy sigh. “You don’t have to admit it. Not yet. I’ll give you time, Jay, but I mean it. I am not Tyler. I can be an asshole. I know that. But I would never do anything to you that you didn’t want me to do. Please know that I love you.”
“I do.” I got dressed and headed for the door, needing to run away from his words. There was no way I could discuss Tyler at the moment. “I’m going to get a bottle of the strongest alcohol I have.”
Angel grunted, pulling on his jeans and t-shirt. “Sounds like a perfect plan.”
“Or a dangerous one,” I mumbled.
We left my room and walked hand in hand down the hall. We were having issues talking but that small touch gave me some hope. It wasn’t a lot, but it was a start.
Before we reached the crowded area at the front of the club, Angel stopped me and kissed my knuckles. He stared intently into my eyes, backing me up against the wall.
A breath left me on a whoosh. I would never get used to seeing this side of him. The dark and dominating man who took from me what he needed and gave me what I craved in return.
Brushing the back of his knuckles down the side of my face, he placed his other hand on the wall.
I was caged in by this man. I knew everything about him. What to expect. But I would never get used to how, with one look, he took my breath away.
His dark eyes burned me, searing into my skin until all I could focus on was him staring back at me.
“You are so damn beautiful,” he gritted, his jaw clenching. “Your beauty makes me weak.”
“Angel,” I breathed, sliding my hands down his chest and leaning my forehead against him.
“I love you, Jay. Nothing will change that,” he gripped the back of my neck in a firm hold, reminding me that I belonged to him. And I did, didn’t I? Every inch of me. Every single fiber of my very being.
But what if something did change things? What if Tyler succeeded in ruining our relationship? He didn’t want me, but he didn’t want anyone else to have me, either. I knew how he worked. He would get in our heads, trying to take control from the inside out.
“Jay, stop fucking thinking so much,” Angel pinched my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “I know you worry. I do too. We can’t see the future. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. But I do know that I will always fucking love you. I just wish you would believe me.”
Tears welled in my eyes, my throat constricting. It was so damn tight, every swallow I made burned like hell. “I know,” I whispered.
“Do you?” he demanded, releasing me. He took a step back, shoving his hand through his hair. “My life is shit without you, but I won’t beg you to stay. If you want out, show me the respect I deserve and tell me.”
My eyes widened. “What? God no.” I closed the distance between us, gripping his thick arms. “Of course I don’t want out. You have to believe me. I love you. I love you with all of me.” I rambled on and on but Angel wouldn’t meet my gaze. He didn’t believe me. Was this because of Tyler? Or me? Shit. What have I done?
Nothing. That’s what. I have done nothing at all to show Angel how much I loved him. Both of us had difficulty with words but I never thought it would end us.
“Let’s make an appearance at Max’s party,” Angel muttered, his deep voice soon drowned out by the loud music.
I followed him out into the crowded room.
Angel and his brothers had fixed up the hole in the far wall. Looking at it, you would never think that months ago, someone attempted to blow the place up.
And that was when I met him. For the first time.
Angel Rodriguez.
My King.