Morning light shined through the window and Dev’s eyes flickered open. He shifted only to find himself pinned in place. He breathed deeply, dragging in Cheri’s citrusy scent, and smiled, remembering the previous night.

Cheri over him, taking all of him. Cheri under him, giving him everything she had. Cheri bent in front of him…

It had been the hottest night of his life, and now, if he had his way, there would be an endless supply of nights like it. Maybe he wanted to do it for the rest of his life.

When had Dev Lachlan ever felt that way?

Never.

He had told her that he wasn’t a forever kind of guy, and at the time he said that it was true. He never lied to any of the women he was involved with, never made promises he couldn’t keep. Now, with Cheri, he felt the promises he wouldn’t make to anyone else on the tip of his tongue.

Beautiful, smart, funny Cheri who took his breath away each time he touched her.

He’d known her for over a decade, watched her grow from a child into an amazing woman, and perhaps there wasn’t a time he didn’t love her. But he never loved her like this. It was a Sunday mornings in bed with coffee, the newspaper and each other kind of life. A home kind of love. The white picket fence, a dog, and who knew, maybe even kids kind of love.

And it terrified him as much as it excited him. He literally had no compass to steer by. Romantic love itself was a foreign concept to him. Could he straddle the world of a committed man and that of a rock musician? And could Cheri handle a home when he would spend a part of every year on the road? The non-stop parties, and the women who threw themselves at him? Would she get sick of wondering what he was doing when he wasn’t at home? Marriages and rock stardom didn’t mix well.

Still, he had to admit, he was tired of the faceless women, and of not having someone to stand beside him as he climbed the rungs of his dreams. It hit him that when he thought of that ladder, it was Cheri in his mind’s eye with him there. And if there was anyone who could navigate the two lives, celebrity, and normalcy, it was Cheri. She knew the life…had been part of it for years. And he knew as sure as he knew his own name that what they had was worth the risk.

If he could get her to believe that, they would only have one more hurdle to jump. It was a big one, but now that he’d finally seen what had been right in front of him this whole time, he hoped that it wasn’t going to be as big as they’d first thought. Sure, Rory didn’t want his sister with a bad boy rocker. But if Dev told him how he felt about her, and what she meant to him, and how he was willing to change his ways, surely Rory would understand and forgive them for their deceit until now.

His stomach rumbled, interrupting his thoughts. They hadn’t eaten the night before, so she would wake up starving too. Once they got some food in their bellies, he’d broach the subject and tell Cheri how he felt. Hopefully, she felt the same way and they could work out how best to break the news to Rory, together.

Feeling cautiously optimistic, he slid out of bed and silently put on his jeans, slipping his t-shirt over his head. Cheri stirred and he didn’t want to wake her, so he picked up his boots and carried them into the kitchenette.

There had been a bakery they’d walked past on Main Street that was closed when they caught an Uber to the hotel. Cheri mentioned she loved pumpkin bagels, and he ran through his mental files to recall how she liked her coffee.

He gently pushed the door open and let it close behind him with barely a click, then he bent to slide into his boots. As he straightened, he found himself staring into Rory’s narrowed gaze.

“I thought you were in three nineteen? Isn’t that Bug’s r--”

Dev’s blood ran cold as understanding dawned in his friend’s eyes.

“Is that…” Rory stammered. “Were you just with my sister?” His tone was icy with rage and shock as he stared at Dev incredulously.

Dev’s guts churned as he thought how to reply. There was no point in denying it. Not when he wanted to be with her for real. But also, his band-mate had caught him leaving her hotel with his boots in hand. What was the point of lying now?

“Look, Rory--”

“You motherfucker,” spat Rory. His fist snaked out and connected with Dev’s jaw. A crack resounded through the hall and Dev stumbled back into the wall.

He wiped at his stinging mouth and blood stained his hand. “You got it all wrong,” gasped Dev.

Rory shoved Dev hard and painfully into the wall. “Don’t you dare go near my sister ever again, you goddamned man-whore.”

“Look who’s talking,” Dev muttered. It was one thing to be angry, but Rory was beyond rational thought and getting punched in the face wasn’t making Dev exactly warm and fuzzy about trying to explain.

“Yeah, but I didn’t fuck your sister.”

“Only because I don’t have a sister.”

“I wouldn’t have fucked her if you did have one,” Rory snapped back.

“So my sister isn’t good enough for you now?” Dev mocked. He knew he should stop. Take the high road and try to diffuse the situation, but after weeks of denying himself because he valued Rory’s friendship so much, his harsh judgment felt like a stab to the gut.

“No, I’m saying you aren’t good enough for mine, fuckboy.”

“Fuckboy? Says the guy who hasn’t met a groupie he hasn’t stuck it in.”

Rory swung again, a wild body shot that landed in Dev’s solar plexus. Dev grunted and doubled over, then Rory smashed an uppercut into his jaw. A sky of white stars exploded behind his eyes and he stumbled forward, shoving Rory back.

“Cut the shit, you goddamned idiot. I don’t want to have to hit you back.”

“Who’s an idiot, moron?”

Rory lunged at him again and Dev threw his arms up, body checking Rory hard. He stumbled from the force of Dev’s charge and their bodies became one great tangle of flesh. Both went flying into the wall, their heads hitting it with a thud. They slid down to the floor, stunned and breathing hard.

“What the fuck, man?” gasped Rory. “You were like a brother to me. I trusted you and this is what you do?”

Were?

Rory’s words spread ice through Dev’s blood. He hadn’t even said his piece and already Rory was ready to write him off?

“You don’t understand. Give me a fucking minute to explain. I care about Cheri.”

Rory laughed bitterly. “Sure. Like you cared about that girl in Springfield or those triplets in Boston. Remember them? No. I doubt you do. They were the human equivalent of blow-up dolls for you.”

“That’s harsh, don’t you think?”

“No, you’re the one who isn’t thinking. Cheri is too damn good for you, and you had no fucking right to lay your hands on her.”

“Now, look--”

“You look,” he shouted, jabbing a finger into Dev’s face. “Touch my sister again, I’ll kill you.”

Rage came rushing in, washing away the last of the pain, and Dev was glad for it. “Last I looked your sister is a grown woman that can make her own decisions. And believe me, bro, she was more than willing.”

Rory swallowed hard, his face turning different shades of red. “You’re a fucking asshole,” said Rory. He pushed himself up.

“Where are you going?” said Dev, misery coming back in a rush. “Look, we need to talk this out. We still have another gig and I want to--”

“I don’t fucking care what you want, Lachlan. As for me? Find someone else for tonight, because I sure as fuck ain’t sharing a stage with a guy who fucked my sister behind my back and then got caught sneaking out of her room before she even woke up. Yeah, you’re a real stand-up guy,” Rory muttered.

He stalked away, his shoulders rolled forward in misery and Dev felt like he was being torn in two.

“Rory,” Dev called after him. But Rory’s only response was a big, fat middle finger high in the sky as he stepped onto the elevator.

Dev sat on the floor, never feeling shittier in his life. Rory hadn’t given him a chance to explain, but the fact was, this was all his fault. He should have told Rory about him and Cheri before he found out like this, with his best friend walking out of his sister’s hotel room.

He was man enough to accept responsibility for that. But the thing sticking in his craw was Rory’s words after that.

“Cheri is too damn good for you.”

Maybe he was right. Maybe all the things he’d told himself earlier that morning had been lies. Ways to convince himself that he was worthy of the kind of love Cheri had to offer.

As he thought about his past and the broken hearts he’d left in his wake, unintentionally or not, the thought of leaving Cheri sad and broken made him physically ill. If he went through with this now, in spite of Rory’s heated objection, he would not only lose Rory as a friend. It would cause a major rift between Rory and Cheri. And no matter what the band said, those two were the only true family of the bunch.

He swiped the blood from his split lip and grimaced. Because, suddenly, no matter how much he wished it wasn’t true, he realized with total clarity that he was nothing but a wedge between them.

Which left only one option.

And it made his stomach curdle.

* * *

Cheri woke smiling, remembering the delicious things she and Dev had done the night before. She thought she knew what an orgasm was until Dev entered her the first time and showed her what pleasure really meant. And he kept showing her throughout the night. She tried to count, but couldn’t remember exactly how many times they made love.

Because that’s what it was. It couldn’t be anything else. He was more into making sure she was satisfied than with his own pleasure. It was as if he couldn’t give her enough. Finally, exhausted they feel asleep, but not before Dev promised more in the morning.

Oh lord. Cheri didn’t know if she could take any more. Now in the morning’s light she was feeling sore in places she didn’t know she could. Still, there was a deep satisfaction running through her body, one that told her that the world had changed. Dev had shown her what it meant to be a woman, his woman, and she loved it.

But she loved Dev more.

Now, where the hell is he?

She peered around the dim room and realized he was nowhere to be found. Almost by magic, the door creaked open and she sat up, tugging the sheets over her breasts in case it was the maid.

“Dev?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Where did you go?”

Dev didn’t say anything, and Cheri gathered the sheet around her like a toga, making her way to him. She threw her arms around his neck, reveling in his scent, and the solid maleness of his body. God, she wanted that body again.

He stood motionless, and Cheri stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. Her lips brushed his, but he stepped back.

“Cheri, we need to talk,” he said, the seriousness of his tone sending a chill through her. As his words registered, Cheri felt her stomach drop.

We need to talk.

The death-knell of every doomed relationship ever.

This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not after last night…

“You’re an awesome girl. You are. But the lessons are over now. You’ve passed, by the way, with flying colors.”

What the hell? Lessons? Ice did a slow cold burn through her crystalizing into disbelief.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Dev? Don’t try to pretend that--”

“I’m not pretending anything. It is what it is. I told you from the start I wasn’t a forever guy.”

He wouldn’t meet her gaze and she swallowed past the lump lodged in her throat. “I don’t believe you. I was there. I felt it.”

“Cheri,” he said, his voice an appeal for understanding. “I’m sorry you got the wrong idea. I really care about you—”

“Care?” she said. Her voice rose an octave, but she didn’t give a shit. “People care about their cars or how their hair looks in pictures. Last night was a shitload more than that.”

He shook his head slowly and she began to shake. “I’m sorry. I thought you understood. That’s what we agreed. When we finished with the lessons, we were done.”

“But, but…” stuttered Cheri, still too stunned to believe what he was saying. “I thought—”

“What, Cheri?”

“I thought you loved me?” She trembled as she said the words, but she had to hear it, hear him deny it before she could believe it.

“Oh, Cheri,” said Dev miserably. “You do deserve to be loved, by a better man than me.”

“I don’t want another man. I want you.” Tears shimmered at the edge of her vision. How could she have been so stupid?

“It’s not going to happen,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion now.

The earth opened at Cheri’s feet and she fell headlong into darkness.

“I’ve never loved anyone else. I’ll never love anyone but you.” She thought she heard a choking noise, but then Dev cleared his throat.

“You will. Bug, you are a great girl, and you’ll find that great man.”

“Cheri,” she screamed. “My fucking name is Cheri. And you’re a pussy, Dev Lachlan. A lily-livered, chicken-ass, pussy. You’re denying how you feel about me because it scares you. But I felt it last night. I know in my heart that you love me.”

“You’re wrong,” he said quietly and evenly. There was such sadness in his voice that Cheri’s heart could break just from the sound of it. “I’m not made for that kind of love. You should know that. You know me better than almost anyone.”

Dev’s words hit with the relentless force of a brick to the head. Cheri’s knees buckled under her, and it was an effort to stand upright. She clutched the sheet, holding on for dear life.

“Look,” he continued, “it would be a terrible life for you anyway. There are too many temptations. The women, the partying. It’s tough enough to be in a relationship without that kind of strain. Plus, with the band’s finances, and personnel changes, I’ve got to devote all my attention to the band. I don’t have room for a relationship in my life.”

“That’s a cop out. I’d be with you every step of the way. I’m always with you, Dev.”

“I know. And it’s not fair to you. I’ll understand if you need to leave Sub-Zero and find another job.”

“Fair,” she exploded. He wasn’t just breaking it off with her, he was trying to cut her out of the band too? No. No. No. There was something wrong here. Dev didn’t go from zero to sixty then zero again. A suspicion flashed through her mind and she flipped on the light in the hallway.

Dev looked stoically down at her, looking like hammered shit, a tiny drop of blood gathering on his lip.

“What’s this?” she said touching her thumb to his mouth.

Dev winced. “Nothing.”

“Nothing? Who gave you that?” Then her eyes flew open. “Rory?”

Dev looked away and said nothing.

“My brother knows about us?”

“There is nothing to know.”

“Fuck you, Lachlan. You have one fight with my brother about this and you fold? That’s not the Dev Lachlan I know.”

His eyes seemed to soften but then his face went blank and he stepped back.

“Rory or no, what you need is more than I can give, Bug. I’m sorry. For everything.”

He turned his back and walked through the door. The quiet clicking of the lock shattered her world.

A high keening sound hit her ears and then she realized it was her own voice as she broke down, tears stinging her eyes and flooding down her cheeks.

Every dream she had fell away, her dream of Dev and her, traveling, and making beautiful boys that looked like their father, leaving her empty and adrift on a sea of emptiness. It was a sham, a lie, everything she believed, everything she wanted. Dev didn’t love her. If he did, he wouldn’t have left so easily.

Cheri’s grief flowed out of her and into the pillow she buried her face in. She was stuck, frozen in pain, and unable to make it stop. This was the worst thing that ever happened to her because, in the end, she had lied to herself. She built a fantasy world around a prince charming that was more boy than man. It wasn’t Dev’s lies that hurt her. It was her own.

He was right about one thing, though. No way could she stay with the band. As much as it killed her, seeing Dev day in and day out with other women would be like a living hell.

A knock sounded on her door and, for a second, her heart fluttered with hope. She hated herself for having that thought, but she scrambled up and opened the door anyway.

Rory stood there, his face a mask of rage.

“Get dressed and go to the bus and pack your shit,” he said. “We’re leaving.”