I know exactly what I did when I went to that office.

It was an easy choice. I thought it would be hard. I thought I might have a moment’s doubt, a moment’s hesitation.

But that all cleared up for me when I saw Leah in the trainer’s room.

“How’s it going?” she asked me early yesterday morning, before I went to do that interview.

“Not bad,” I said, sitting on her table. “I’ve got a problem.”

She raised her eyebrows. “It’s the reporter, isn’t it?”

I shrugged. “Yep.”

“Cole isn’t happy about that.”

I laughed softly. “Yeah, well, too bad, I guess.”

She sighed. “What’s going on?”

So I filled her in. “Basically, if I don’t help her, she’ll get fired. But if I do, your husband is going to be pissed.”

Leah hesitated for maybe a second. “You know what you have to do, right?”

I frowned at her. “What?”

“Go see the girl,” she said softly. “Cole will get over it. I mean, he’ll be pissed, sure, but… you like her, right?”

“I like her,” I said.

“Then go see her.”

I stood up and I left the room. I went to her office. I did the interview. I gave her plenty of material.

And now, this morning, the next day, the article already published, I know what’s going to happen to me.

I can already hear it. I just don’t care.

I don’t know why.

Starting for the Chainsaws is my dream. I’ve been bouncing around the league for a while now. I never got the start, at least not without someone else getting hurt first. Nobody ever gave me a real shot, nobody ever really cared about me.

Until Coach Wood brought me onto this crazy team. He built this offense around me. He believes in me.

I’m his guy. I’ve never been someone’s guy before, not since high school.

And here I am, spitting in the face of that. It hurts like hell, but I know I have to do it.

I have no other choice. If I can help Brynn, I’m going to do it.

I don’t get far into the building before Robby hunts me down.

“Right now?” I ask him just as I’m sitting down to eat breakfast.

He nods. “Let’s get it over with.”

I sigh as the other guys stare at the two of us. I follow him out of the cafeteria, down a series of hallways, and into Coach’s office.

He’s holding the paper when I sit down. Robby sits next to me.

“Well?” Coach asks, frowning.

“What can I say?” I shrug. “She needed a favor.”

“What did I say?” Wood asks softly. “I told you to stay away from her.”

“I know you did.”

Robby watches me, his glasses pushed back, a frown on his otherwise empty face.

I hate the way Coach is looking at me. I may have been a punk in my younger days, but now I want to do right by the people that do right by me. I want to help Coach, win games for him, follow his rules. I want to fit into his system.

But I know I had to do what I did. I had no other choice. I can’t explain that to him, though. That would just be making bullshit excuses.

I broke a rule. I went against his wishes. It doesn’t matter why.

He sighs. “It’s a good article,” he says finally. “You come off good. But still, there’s stuff in here…” He shakes his head. “God damn it, Sean. Why can’t you listen?”

“I had to do it, Coach,” I say.

He groans. “You didn’t. You’re being fucking stupid with this girl.” He glances at Robby. “What do you think?”

Robby doesn’t move. “You know what I think, Cole.”

Coach sighs. “Fuck.” He shakes his head. “I really don’t want to do this, Sean, but you left me with no choice.”

I nod once. “I get it.”

“I’m benching you. Carter will start on Sunday.”

It cuts me like a knife. I sit there, completely still.

“Okay, Coach,” I say finally.

“Go back to practice. Do your usual shit. And if you speak to her again, I’ll bench you for another week. Understood?”

I nod and stand. “Understood.”

I leave the office without another word.

This is going to look very, very fucking bad. The media is going to eat this up. The speculation alone is going to drive me insane.

But worse than all that, if Carter does well, if he plays amazing on Sunday, I may never get back on that field again in my career.

It’s happened before and it’ll happen again. Backups get a chance to start, play a good game, and win the starting role. Teams decide to keep their backup in and realize that they had the wrong guy under center the whole time.

That can easily happen to me. It’s every quarterback’s fucking worst nightmare. Letting someone else helm the team, the fucking team you’ve worked so hard to help build, is a fate worse than anything else.

I walk slowly back to the cafeteria. I sit down alone and eat my breakfast.

And as I eat, I know one thing.

Despite the fact that my career could be over, I did the right thing. I helped Brynn, I saved her job. I helped the girl I’m falling in love with.

I don’t fucking regret it. Not one tiny bit.

But I know I might be losing something precious to me, and I can’t help but mourn it.