Karter’s chest ached from not breathing, but he couldn’t do anything, not even something as simple as inhale, until Jax did something. His omega was gaping at the cabin in wide-eyed shock, and Karter didn’t know if it was happy shock or disgusted shock. He’d spent the entire day putting this surprise together.

His first thought when Jax agreed to mate was this place, a big patch of land with rentable getaway cottages not too far from the city, but still within the provincial borders. He’d seen advertisements for them on television, and they were the perfect place to spend a heat with his omega. After renting it, he’d filled it with food and drinks, lots of clean fluffy towels, and bubble bath. He wanted to shower affection on Jax.

If only Jax would do something.

Jax gasped, his hand flying to his lower belly. That startled Karter into breathing, and he spotted the unmistakable bulge of Jax’s arousal. The sweet scent of slick filled Karter’s nose, sending his own half-chub to full mast so quickly Karter got dizzy. His mouth watered for Jax. He wanted to taste every inch of his omega before knotting him and sealing their bond.

“Let’s get inside, so you can get comfortable.” He took Jax’s hand, surprised that his skin was so hot. Jax whimpered once, then allowed himself to be led into the cabin.

It was one giant room, with a small partition to separate the galley kitchen and the only other door for the bathroom. The king-sized bed was straight ahead in the rear, and a cushion-filled living area took up the rest of the space. Jax sank to his knees in middle of the living area, his skin flushed pink, and began removing his clothes.

Karter stared, struck dumb by the sight of Jax on his knees, slowly peeling away his coat, then layers of other clothing, until he was naked and panting. He looked up at Karter with fire in his eyes, then signaled, “Please.”

A suddenly flash of anxiety rippled down Karter’s spine. Jax had heated two-dozen times since mating with Eroch; Jax knew what to expect. And Karter kind of did, from watching Father take care of Omegin over the years, but this was different. Karter had to take care of his omega, and now that the moment was upon him, he was doubting himself.

While Karter had fooled around with betas to scratch an itch, he’d never penetrated one. Father raised him insisting that was only for his future mate, not for rolling around with betas. And Jax said he didn’t like penetration outside heat, so what if Karter accidentally hurt him? Yeah, heat produced natural slick, and an omega’s entrance was supposed to loosen to accommodate both cock and eventual knot, but…goddess, he didn’t want to fuck this up.

Jax made that pained sound again, and Karter’s heart flipped with panic. Jax beckoned for him and Karter went. His dick strained against his zipper, and his arms ached to hold his omega. He let instinct drive him forward, so Jax could tear at Karter’s clothes. Leaving them both naked and surrounded by the thick, heady scent of their combined pheromones.

And then Jax blew his mind by sucking Karter’s cock into his mouth. Taking him deep and fast, while he rolled Karter’s sac, and Karter cried out from the joy of it. He wanted to grab Jax’s head and fuck his mouth, but he resisted the urge. He couldn’t risk choking or hurting Jax. He was too damned precious, this big, muscular, scarred, tattooed man who wanted to be Karter’s mate.

Goddess, I think I love him.

Jax sucked him right into an intense orgasm, swallowing every single drop, and Karter remained hard. Hard for his omega. His mate. Jax dropped to his hands and knees, and then tipped his ass up into the air. Karter gasped at the beauty of those taut globes open for him, showing off a slick, slightly open hole. That honey-sweet scent of slick filled his senses and made Karter a little crazy.

He knelt behind Jax, curious, and licked his hole. Jax shivered. The flavor destroyed the rest of Karter’s higher thought function. All he knew was he needed more. He thrust his tongue into Jax, savoring that sweet slick, coating his taste buds with it, swallowing every bit he could gather. Jax thrust his hips back against Karter’s mouth, the clearest sign his omega was enjoying this as much as Karter.

And then Jax’s entire body tensed, he gasped, and semen splattered the rug beneath them. Jax had come on only Karter’s tongue, because both of Jax’s hands were on the floor, and Karter hadn’t touched him yet. He briefly mourned the chance to taste Jax’s spend, but he’d get another chance soon, so he returned to his task of eating Jax’s slick. He gorged himself, sad he’d only get this once every three months, but happy to take what Jax could give him now.

If only they could bottle this up and sell it; alphas would never need alcohol again.

Karter licked and sucked, until his own cock was dripping and Jax seemed desperate. “Ready for my cock, love?”

Jax nodded vigorously over his shoulder, his pupils blown, completely drunk on pleasure and lust—exactly as he should be.

He knew this was the customary position, but he wanted to see Jax’s face when he entered him. As he fucked him. So he carefully turned Jax onto his back and tilted his hips up. Lined his aching cock up with Jax’s ready entrance. Jax kept nodding, encouraging him. “Thank you for this gift,” Karter said. “You’re my first and only, Jax Orris.”

For an instant, Jax looked like he wanted to weep. Then he wiggled his hips, silently asking for his alpha to fill him. With love in his heart and his omega in his arms, Karter pushed inside another man’s body for the first time.

The intense heat surprised him, and he entered easily, thanks to the slick, but it was snug enough to make Karter see stars. He tried to study Jax’s face, to make sure he wasn’t in pain, but Karter couldn’t concentrate on much else besides how great his dick felt inside Jax’s ass. How much better it felt when he bottomed out, their bodies pressed together.

Jax panted up at him, his face shining with pleasure and need, and Karter gave him what he wanted. He thrust his hips, loving the sound of skin smacking on skin, and Jax encouraged him by pushing his hips up. Meeting him. Moving with him. Karter leaned down to kiss him, which must have changed his angle of penetration because Jax thrashed. Grabbed at Karter and tried to swallow him whole.

Oh yes, his omega was enjoying this. Maybe Jax only liked being fucked during heat, and that was fine with Karter. He’d take this gift whenever it was given, if for no other reason than to see Jax so blissed out and unburdened. Nothing mattered except the rut. The pleasure. The chase for release.

Jax let out a silent cry as he came a second time, splattering both of their stomachs with come. He clenched around Karter, urging him to find his own orgasm. To knot him. Karter’s hips stuttered; he’d never knotted. He had no idea what it would feel like, only that they’d be joined like that for a good ten minutes or so. Jax was big enough that he didn’t fear squashing the man if he knotted like this, so Karter let go and chased his release.

He pushed deep as he came, the climax burning down his spine like white fire, his body instinctively knowing what to do. His seed shot inside Jax’s body, filling him, marking him as Karter’s. The knot swelled near the base of Karter’s cock, an odd feeling but not unlike getting hard. It expanded, sensitive skin pushing against Jax’s insides. Jax shivered, his body quaking—presumably his knot was pressing against Jax’s gland, triggering even more pleasure for his omega. And trapping Karter’s semen inside, close to Jax’s descended womb.

Jax went completely limp, spent for now. Karter arranged their legs more comfortably, then relaxed against Jax’s broad chest, trapped deep inside of his omega. His mate. The scent changed around them, no longer two independent scents, but one. Combined now, announcing they’d mated. Jax was his. Karter was Jax’s.

He smiled as he kissed Jax thoroughly, putting all his love and adoration into the gesture. “Are you all right?” he whispered.

Jax grinned lazily. Nod-blink.

“We got through the first surge.”

Nod-blink.

“And we’re mates.”

Jax held his gaze, so many emotions dancing in his eyes. Good emotions, from what Karter could tell, but without his voice, Jax couldn’t simply say it. So Jax kissed him for a long time. Long after Karter’s knot disappeared and Karter slipped out. Long after they probably should have gotten up to shower and eat.

Karter really ought to be taking care of his omega before the next surge, but the lust-drunk alpha who’d taken his first—and hopefully only—mate simply couldn’t let the man go.

Mine.

* * *

Jax woke from an accidental nap on the big, fluffy bed surrounded by pillows and a snoring Karter. His body had probably been catching up on sleep after caring for a newborn, and he stretched out, testing sore muscles. His skin still burned with heat, and his passage was slick, because that had only been one surge.

One surge, but the most important. They’d mated. Jax smiled into his pillow, happy to have taken this step—even if he’d done it for the wrong reasons. He was tied to Karter for the rest of their lives, and he was okay with that. More than okay, as long as Karter’s kindness didn’t turn out to be a ruse.

Jax sat up, amused that Karter remained deeply asleep, and took in the cabin. He’d been so deep in the surge before that he hadn’t managed to observe much more than the timbered ceiling while Karter rutted away. Not that the entire experience hadn’t been mind-blowing in a way it never had with Eroch.

Because Karter is my bonded mate.

The cabin was larger inside that it appeared from the outside, with kitchy décor and a lot of space. He loved that Karter had brought him here, to a secluded little space just for them, rather than simply whisking him off to Karter’s apartment for the duration. Karter had planned and executed, and he’d done an amazing job.

The sun had set, so they’d probably napped for a few hours. His next surge could start any time. He vaguely recalled a quick shower and snack after their first coupling, but his stomach gave a mighty growl now. Karter mumbled an objection when Jax slid out of bed, but he didn’t wake.

Jax walked into the kitchen area naked, no sense in having any shame with his mate now that he’d seen it all. He’d never been shy around Eroch so why start now?

The refrigerator was stocked with all kinds of healthy food, which made Jax recoil. He didn’t want healthy, he wanted fat and carbs and to indulge. It was his heat, damn it, not an extended captivity where he was forced to eat and exercise and hurt other omegas.

Confused and anxious, Jax retreated to the big couch and pulled a pillow over his lap. Karter wasn’t going to hurt him like those other alphas had, but he’d brought salad fixings instead of pizza. He glared across the cabin at the refrigerator, angry at its contents and disappointed in his mate—except Jax had never told Karter about this part of his captivity. It wasn’t Karter’s fault.

My mate should know.

His slick was soaking into the couch cushion, but Jax didn’t care. While his body was in the throes of heat, his mind kept slipping into the past. Into cold, sterile rooms and cruel alphas who’d taken his voice. He clutched the pillow and rocked, hating himself for not being stronger.

“Jax?”

He flinched from his alpha’s voice and pressed his face into the pillow.

“Goddess, Jax, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Karter sat next to him, and his scent made Jax’s dick throb with want. His passage clenched, needing to be filled, but Jax resisted because he wasn’t in a surge yet. “Jax, love?”

He finally looked up, drawn by the terror in Karter’s usually firm voice. Karter’s eyes were wide with fright and he had his hands out, as if wanting to touch Jax but too afraid. His hesitation hurt, and Jax had no way to tell his alpha what was wrong. Karter, goddess bless him, produced a small notepad and pen; Jax didn’t know enough signals yet to explain this.

Jax took a few breaths to calm himself so he could think. He didn’t want to this to come across wrong. “I’m not hurt. I had a flashback to my captivity.”

Karter clutched one of the pillows, his face going scarily pale. “Goddess, I’m sorry. Was it me? Before? Jax, I’m so sorry.”

He hated seeing his alpha so upset, so earnest about fixing this. With his alpha charm, it was easy to forget Karter was younger than him. “Not that sort of flashback. It wasn’t about sex. It was the food you bought.”

“Food?” Karter glanced at the fridge, face creased in a frown. “You don’t like the food I chose?”

“I like the food but it’s all so healthy.”

“Because heat can be exhausting, and you need to keep up your strength. Why is it wrong?”

Jax sighed and pulled Karter in for a firm kiss, needing to do something to help his alpha understand that he hadn’t screwed up. This was all in Jax’s head. “Everything they fed me was healthy. Protein shakes, raw vegetables, vitamins, the drugs that built my muscles. Seeing all that healthy food scared me. I’m sorry.”

For all of Jax’s attempts to soothe his alpha, Karter looked like he wanted to burst into tears. “I’m such an idiot, I should have asked what you’d want to eat instead of thinking I could choose for you. I fucked up, Jax. Your first heat as my omega, and I’ve already fucked this up.” Karter stood and ran both hands through his hair. “I can’t leave for new groceries, but I’m sure someone delivers. Maybe one of my brothers can bring us new food.”

Jax stood, too, concerned with the way his alpha was reacting to Jax’s issue. “No, please stop blaming yourself. We’ll eat the food you bought. You pulled all of this together in one day, Karter, and it’s amazing. My reaction is my issue. I never told you that part of my captivity, and it was obviously a mistake on my part, and I’m sorry.”

They were both naked, but Karter looked flayed open, as if he’d personally failed Jax over something he had no reason to suspect might be an issue. Who had a flashback about food? Karter hung his head, shoulders stooping, and that wouldn’t do. Jax tugged him into a hug, grateful when Karter sagged against him. Their mixed scent surrounded them both, reminding them of what they’d done earlier. They were mates now, and Jax had to fix this. He needed his strong, proud alpha back.

“I hate that those men hurt you,” Karter whispered. One hand tangled in Jax’s hair. “We should have talked about it more, before your heat, but all I could think about was getting you to trust me.”

Jax sighed. He hated having to let go of Karter to communicate. “I do trust you. And neither of us expected me to heat after only knowing each other for four days. You didn’t try to hurt me, you tried to be kind.” His passage clenched again and began to ache, and Jax forgot what he was trying to write, so he passed the note over and sank back to his knees.

“Jax? Is it happening again?”

Jax nodded.

“Okay. I’ll get the condoms out. Remember our gesture?”

Another nod. Jax was getting lightheaded from want as a new surge of desire swept over him, but he resisted the urge to tilt his ass up. He’d just taken a knot, so he could probably ride out one surge without help. Karter returned with a handful of condoms that he deposited on one of the cushions, then he knelt next to Jax.

“What can I do?”

Jax reached for his hand and squeezed the ever-loving hell out of it, grateful for his mate’s everlasting support.

* * *

Karter helped his mate through his surge without knotting him, since that seemed to be what Jax wanted. They both jerked off twice, and as the hormones released their hold on Jax, Karter got damp cloths to clean them both up. If Jax was anywhere near as hungry as Karter, then he’d failed his omega immensely, and they were only eight hours into the heat.

“How do you feel about a bubble bath, while I cook us something?”

Jax raised an eyebrow.

“What? I tried to think of every possible way to pamper you.”

The gentle affection in Jax’s smile helped soothe Karter’s sense of failure. Despite their pair of raging boners—thank you, pheromones—there was nothing sexual in helping Jax cross the big room to the bathroom. The tub was large enough for four people and had jets. Jax sat on the toilet while Karter set the water and poured in rose-scented bubble bath.

Jax snapped his fingers to get his attention and then signaled. “I love that smell.”

Karter grinned. “Good. To me, you smell like the sweetest flowers in the world.”

“Thank you.”

Once Jax was happily settled in the hot water, Karter retreated to the kitchen. Suddenly his fridge full of good food looked like the worst thing in the world. But he’d also bought butter and cheese, so he could fatten up the meals he’d planned to cook, make them a little less healthy, if that’s what Jax wanted. It honestly hadn’t occurred to Karter that food, of all things, could be a trigger for his omega.

They’d planned for Jax to go back into the constabulary tomorrow to give a more detailed statement about his treatment by Udall and “Blue,” as well as the fights. That was off the table for obvious reasons, and Tarek hadn’t been put out by the delay when Karter called him earlier.

“Focus on your omega and nothing else,” Tarek had said. “Listen to him.”

Listening to someone who couldn’t speak was difficult, but Karter was getting better at reading Jax’s expressions and body language. And after the heat was over, he hoped to learn more of the signal language. Maybe one day, Jax wouldn’t need the notepad with him anymore.

Karter put on a pair of sweatpants, and then began chopping vegetables for a chicken stir fry with rice. Tarek had also suggested healthy, light dishes that were easy to prepare.

Joke’s on me, taking that fucking advice.

It wasn’t Tarek’s fault, though. He’d only helped his omega through two heats. Karter would have preferred asking his father for advice, but they weren’t speaking yet. At least the rose-scented bubble bath had been a good call. He hadn’t completely blown this.

He cooked slowly, giving Jax as much time in the bath as possible so he could relax. Karter had no real understanding of the many ways in which an omega’s body changed during heat, or the shame of losing control. He understood how his own judgment became clouded by pheromones and the urgent, constant need to fuck, but that was different. Karter had some control over himself; Jax had less.

Jax had lost too much these last eight months. He deserved the world on a gold platter, not his alpha fucking up their first heat together.

Dinner first. Feed your omega and let him rest.

Jax was half-asleep in the tub and seemed unaware the water was now lukewarm. He was pliant and almost giddy as Karter dried him off, then helped him into a pair of sweatpants. They’d come off again in a few hours, but Karter guessed he’d want a barrier between them now. Karter had fucked up and triggered his own mate; no wonder Jax had suffered the previous surge without a knot. Jax slithered into the chair and sleepily ate the portion Karter gave him. Karter ate, too, but didn’t really taste the food.

He cleaned up the kitchen after he’d put Jax to bed, giving his omega as much time to rest as possible before the next surge. The second had come about seven hours after the first, probably because of the knot, so Jax should be able to sleep for good six hours or more. Karter was tired, too, but first he needed to know he could win Jax’s trust back.

So he went outside and called his parents’ house line. Thankfully, Omegin picked up, and he sounded half-asleep. Karter blinked at the inky sky, shocked he hadn’t realized how early in the morning it was.

“Karter, is everything alright?”

“No, it’s not. Do you have time to talk?”

“Give me a moment.” Various things clicked as Omegin switched lines, probably the bedroom phone to the one in the upstairs hall. In a hushed voice, he said, “What’s going on? Are you safe?”

“Yes, it’s not me. Not exactly. Jax went into heat about eight hours ago, and I’ve already fucked up. You have to promise to keep what I’m telling you a secret. It’s personal, and it’s not really my story to tell, but it’s relevant to me fucking up, and I really need your advice.”

Omegin made soothing sounds that worked to calm him just as they had when he was a boy. “I promise. We’ll figure this out, okay?”

“Thank you.” Karter took a centering breath, and then storied his day of prepping, Jax’s excitement, their first knot, and then waking up to find Jax freaking out on the couch. He backpedaled then, to give Omegin a small bit of Jax’s captivity and that he’d lived on the streets for a month prior to Karter finding him and Karson.

“That poor boy,” Omegin said. “To have survived all that and be able to trust you to be his alpha so quickly.”

“That’s the thing. We’re mated now, but I totally fucked up. I assumed what he’d want to eat, and he had a fucking panic attack because of me.”

“That wasn’t your fault, son. You had no way of knowing a head of cauliflower would send him into a panic.”

“But I should have known. I’m his alpha, it’s my job to know these things.”

“No, your job is to love and protect your omega. You aren’t psychic. You’ll both screw up once in a while, it’s part of being mates.”

“What if he’s scared of me? He refused my knot during his second surge.”

“And that’s normal when someone has been traumatized like your Jax has. It’s also not unheard of, even in long-term relationships. Knotting ends the surge sooner and helps spread them out more, yes, but they’re bearable. Some poor alphas can’t take the time off from their jobs to stay home and fuck their omega senseless, so the omega has to go without for a while. When your father and I first mated, he worked through half of several heats between you and Eron, because they were short-staffed from a flu outbreak. It isn’t unheard of.”

“Oh.” It hadn’t occurred to Karter that some alphas couldn’t be there the whole time, because the provincial government was very generous about giving time off for their alpha employees. Karter getting leave for the next three days had been as difficult as calling his supervisor and asking.

“If Jax wakes up before the next surge, try and talk to him about this.”

Easier said than done.

He still hadn’t told his family Jax was mute, and now wasn’t the time.

“I hate that I screwed up,” Karter admitted. “I wanted this to be perfect for him.”

“That’s because you have a generous heart, Karter Jenks. You do your omegin proud. Now go do your omega proud, you hear me?”

“I hear you. Thanks for the pep talk.”

“It’s what I’m here for. And congratulations. Bring Jax by the house soon for the customary dinner celebration. I can’t wait to meet your mate.”

“I will, thank you. Bye.”

Karter shut his phone, then stared up into the slowly lightening sky. A few stars still twinkled, so he closed his eyes and made a wish.

Please, goddess, let me do right by my omega. I need him so much.

A cold breeze caressed Karter’s cheek and stirred leaves on the ground. Karter opened his eyes and smiled at the night sky, then went inside to see to his omega.