Jax stared out the window without really seeing the city go by, his emotions pinballing all over the place after seeing that photo. And getting a real name to go with the face of one of his captors. Ness Udall. The man had only identified himself as Red and nothing else, so that’s who Jax remembered. But Red had a name and a history—he was a real person beyond the nightmare of Jax’s captivity.

A gurgling sound drew his attention to Karson, strapped into the baby carrier next to him in the backseat. It felt odd to be sitting in back while Karter drove, but the front didn’t have a center seat for the carrier, and Jax needed Karson close. He simply needed his son. And he needed the physical distance from Karter’s alpha pheromones, which had been triggered by his anger over Jax’s ID of Udall.

Those pheromones were caressing over Jax’s skin, stirring his blood in a way that worried him. He did not need a new heat triggered while his life was still so uncertain. He and Karter hadn’t even talked about heat yet, and they really needed to. Jax wasn’t sure what he wanted, not at all. His body recognized Karter as his mate, but Jax’s mind was having trouble with the idea of submitting to any alpha ever again.

He was also old enough and experienced enough to be reasonably sure he could separate the needs of his body during heat from his own sexual needs, of which he currently had none. Yes, he was attracted to Karter, they’d bonded, but Jax wasn’t ready for a sexual relationship with the man. He didn’t want to mate with him right away, simply because he was in heat, like he had with Eroch. Sure, they’d gotten to know each other a bit before the fever of heat took over, and Eroch was gentle enough when he wanted sex outside of heat, but Jax wasn’t a fan. Without the natural slick and looseness of heat, penetration was unpleasant and borderline painful. But he’d done his duty as an omega and submitted to his alpha.

Will Karter make me have sex if I don’t want it?

He wanted to believe his bondmate wouldn’t hurt him like that, but he’d known Karter for a day and a half. They’d barely discussed their pasts, their families, or personal likes or dislikes. Not that conversations were particularly easy between them. He longed to fill the silent car ride with bantering and friendly questions, but Karter reading notes while driving was a dangerous idea.

Karson blew spit bubbles at him, which Jax wiped away with the corner of his blanket. He seemed to enjoy car rides quite a lot, and this one was much longer than the ride from the Freel apartment to the law buildings.

Jax paid closer attention to his surroundings. They were in an unfamiliar part of town, more cultural centers and fewer residences, and they passed a handful of small parks. He leaned forward to tap on Karter’s shoulder.

“I’m taking you guys to an indoor garden I love,” Karter replied, knowing the question already. “It shouldn’t be too crowded this time of day, and it’s a safe enough spot for us to wander for a while. You don’t have to stay completely cooped up in that apartment.”

His pulse jumped, but he did trust Karter to keep him safe. As far as Jax knew, no one who’d had him was aware that he’d been working with the constabulary, so they had no reason to look for a big, bearded man with a baby walking around in plain view.

Still, the other alpha captor who called himself Blue was out there, as were any of the other men who’d watched the omegas fight. He’d just keep his sleeves down to hide the markings on his wrists.

Karter parked in a wide, mostly empty lot, then came around to open Jax’s door for him. Jax climbed out. Instead of settling Karson into the sling—a device he’d come up with as much to shield Karson from others as to keep him close to Jax for body heat—he held Karson against his chest. Karter shouldered the diaper bag. The chilly air bit into his face, so they quickly walked to the building’s entrance.

Sansbury Botanical Gardens.

Karter paid a small entrance fee, and then led Jax through another set of doors and into the most magical place Jax had ever seen. The cavernous room had a ceiling at least four stories high, and it spread out around him for what seemed like miles, but was probably only a city block or so. A bricked path branched out in three different directions, and all around him was foliage, trees, and flowering plants.

Birds chirped and chimed in the distance, adding to the sense that he’d walked into a brand-new world. The scents of earth and other floral things tickled his nose. Jax ended up putting Karson into the sling anyway, simply so he could communicate with Karter.

“This is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.”

“I love coming here when I’m stressed out,” Karter said with a broad, endearing smile. “My parents used to bring me and my brothers when we were young. It’s how I first found it.”

“I never knew such a thing existed in all the years I lived here with Eroch.”

“Then I’m blessed to be able to show you. Let’s walk around. There’s so much to see.”

Jax wasn’t sure it was possible to see the entire garden in one day, but he dutifully walked with Karter down the right-branching pathway, trying to keep himself behind Karter as was proper. But Karter kept pausing and slowing, working to keep them side by side, until Jax stopped to pass him a note.

“What are you doing? I’m supposed to walk behind you.”

Karter frowned. “Says who? I’m not leading a tour here, we’re supposed to be enjoying this together.”

He blinked at Karter several times, confused. “But I’m the omega, and you’re the alpha. You walk first.”

“Nah, that’s dumb. Listen, my father is a pretty conservative guy, but even he doesn’t do the whole ‘alpha first, omega behind’ thing. He thinks it’s disrespectful to Omegin and I agree. You aren’t a pet, Jax. You’re my bondmate.”

Jax’s heart trilled. He studied the quiet determination on Karter’s face and believed him. “Okay. I’m sorry for assuming.”

“It’s what you were taught, right?”

Jax shrugged, then nod-blinked.

“We’ve known each other for a day. We’re still getting to know each other and our personal histories. We’ll both make mistakes and assumptions, and I will admit right now I can be quick to temper, and also quick to fall back into old habits and old prejudices. But I’m learning and trying to change.”

“Okay. Let’s get to know each other. Tell me about your family.”

They kept walking down the path, and Jax took in the brightly-colored flowers while Karter talked.

“I’m the oldest of four siblings. It took a few years after me for my parents to conceive again, and then they couldn’t seem to stop.” Karter chuckled. “My brothers are eighteen, nineteen, and twenty. The two eldest, Eron and Dain, are both electrician apprentices. The youngest, Sloan, still has half a year of secondary school left. My father is a retired constable. Our omegin is a wonderful man, a loving and doting parent, and he’ll adore you. I know he will.”

“What about your father and brothers?”

“My brothers will like you because I do. Father…I don’t know. I mean, he won’t have a problem with you, exactly.”

Jax’s heart sank. “He’ll have a problem with Karson.”

Karter flinched and stopped walking. “Karson is a baby. He’d never be cruel to a baby.”

“But he’d look down on an omega who’s already mated and had a child with another man, and he won’t want me as a mate for his son.”

“Yes.” Karter squeezed his wrist. “But as an alpha, I don’t need his permission to mate who I choose, and I choose you, Jax. My body chose you yesterday, and every moment I spend with you and Karson, my heart and mind get further on board. Father will learn to accept you.”

Jax hated the idea of someone having to learn to accept him, but Jax also realized he was different. Often, a widowed omegin re-mated a widowed alpha, and they blended their families and any children they had. It was rare for a widowed omegin to be taken in by a young alpha who’d never had a mate, and Jax expected pushback.

But… “Please don’t let me come between you and your father. I’m not worth it.”

Karter glared at the note, and Jax took a step backward, instantly on alert. “You are worth so much, Jax.” Karter looked up, his eyes flashing with so many things. “Maybe this is incredibly early to make such a declaration, but if it comes down to a choice between you and my father, I will choose you. I love my father, but you’re my bondmate. If I gave you up, I’d miss you for the rest of my life.”

Jax tried not to melt, but Karter was saying all the right things. “I’m sorry I upset you. Everything is so mixed up right now. I keep ‘saying’ the wrong thing.”

“You’re being honest, and that’s all I ask. Honesty is how this works, right?”

A relationship takes so much more than just honesty, but it’s a good start.

Karter’s phone rang, and he looked pained. Jax made a gesture to take it, it didn’t bother him. “My brother, I’m sorry.” He snapped his phone open. “Hey, Sloan, what’s up? No, I haven’t talked to him yet, it’s been two days. Yeah, I told you this weekend, and he’s more amenable if I help him fix something around the house. Yes, I’ve been busy with work, I am a first-year constable. Stop worrying, I said I’d handle it.”

Jax watched the varied expressions on Karter’s face, caught between curious and amused. Sloan was one of Karter’s three brothers. The youngest, if he recalled correctly. Apparently, Karter had promised to do some kind of favor for Sloan.

“Look, I’m kind of in the middle of something.” Karter flashed an apologetic smile to Jax. “Yes, I’ll do it. I’m on your side, remember? Yeah, talk to you soon. Bye.”

“Trouble with one of your brothers?”

“Not exactly trouble. Father is of the mind that university is only for alphas, betas are meant for service work, and my brothers are all beta. Eron and Dain both went willingly enough into electrician apprenticeships, but Sloan dreams bigger. He wants to attend university, but Father needs to sign the paperwork, and he’s refusing, even though Sloan is brilliant. He could be anything, from a doctor to a sitting judge one day.”

Karter’s excitement about Sloan’s future was a tangible thing, and it excited Jax, who’d never even met the teenager. “But Father is so conservative in his views, and Sloan asked me to intervene. To try and reason with Father. And he’s being extremely pesky about the whole thing, but I promised to try this weekend.” He perked up. “You should come with me. All my brothers still live at home, so you can meet everyone.”

Dread coiled up in Jax’s stomach like a lead weight, and he shook his head. “You can’t ask your father to do something outside his nature on the same day he meets your less-than-desirable omega. No.”

Karter grunted. “You are not less than desirable. Please stop saying that about yourself.”

“It’s how I feel.”

“But it’s not how I see you. I desire everything about you, from your muscles to your beard, and especially what an amazing omegin you are to Karson. Hopefully, one day you’ll see yourself as I see you, Jax. You’re beautiful, and I want you.”

Jax’s stomach wobbled. “I want you, too. And this is an odd place but we should talk about my next heat.” His face flushed as Karter read that note.

“You’re right, we should.” He led Jax a few feet down the path to an iron bench in the shape of a large leaf. “I had hoped to bring that up today, and a neutral setting seemed better than the apartment.”

Oh, good, Karter already thought of it. We really are on the same page.

They both sat, their knees touching, and the contact felt nice. And it made writing much easier for Jax.

“There’s a chance the mating bond will induce heat. Being around you feels wonderful, and I don’t want to stop, but that is reality. And biology.”

“I know. I spoke with Tarek a bit about it at lunch today. During Braun’s first heat, he tried to get through it without a knot, because he didn’t know Tarek very well, and he was scared. He kept himself locked away, until he stopped resisting his body and asked Tarek for help.”

It gave Jax hope knowing at least one alpha had respected his omega’s wishes about his heat. “I don’t know what I want. With Eroch, as soon as my slick started with my first heat, he was in me. I never had to try and suffer a heat alone.”

Karter grimaced. “How did you feel about Eroch doing that?”

Jax thought about that a moment. “At the time, it was my duty as an omega to submit. Looking back now, though, I wish he’d asked me. Or allowed me to tell him yes, I was ready for him to fuck me. But he didn’t. He wasn’t a cruel man, but when it came to my heats, he let instinct lead him, rather than his mind.”

“Then let’s make an agreement about this. If your heat is triggered before we’ve really gotten to know each other, and if you aren’t ready for me to help, then I won’t force you. Serge helped Braun and Kell through their heats, when they tried to resist their alphas, I’m sure he’ll help you. I won’t have sex with you, Jax, unless you explicitly ask me to.”

Jax frowned and pointed at his throat.

“We’ll come up with a hand gesture, then. Something ridiculous and specific to you asking me to have sex to relieve your heat.”

After thinking a moment, Jax made a circle with the thumb and index finger of his left hand, then poked his right index finger in and out of the circle, mimicking fucking.

Karter grinned. “Works for me.”

“Good. And since we’re talking about sex, I want to be honest with you. I’m not a fan of being penetrated outside of heat. It hurts.”

Karter bristled. “Eroch hurt you?”

“Not on purpose, not to be cruel, but my alpha had needs. He tried to prep me and be kind, but maybe I’m a broken omega because I never enjoyed it.”

“You are not broken. You’re simply unique and wired a little differently than everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Does it disappoint you? Or do you expect sex outside of heat?”

Jax held his breath, dreading the answer.

“Define sex.” Karter squeezed his wrist. “There are a lot of ways to have sex that do not include me penetrating you. I would like to have that non-penetrative sex outside of heat, with your permission.”

That breath went out in a relieved whoosh. “Thank you. You’re my bondmate, and I want to please you, but that really worried me. I don’t want to disappoint my alpha.”

“You didn’t, not at all. I’m actually relieved and honored that you’re being so honest with me. You’ve been through so much, Jax, and I need to know these things so I don’t accidentally do something to hurt you. I’d never forgive myself if I did.”

Jax scooted a little closer, then leaned in for a soft, chaste kiss. “You saying that means the world to me.” And so far, Karter was backing all his words up with actions.

“You mean the world to me. You and Karson.” Karter’s cheeks pinked up. “Since we’re discussing heat, I have to ask about mating. We’re bondmates, but that doesn’t mean I’ll pressure you into mating me during your next heat. I would love it, of course, and I’ll take care of you for the rest of our lives, but you need to be ready. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve to make this choice for yourself.”

The intensity of Karter’s voice and face matched his words, and Jax fell even harder for Karter Jenks. For having this kind, beautiful alpha give Jax all the power in when they mated. It could be his first post-birth heat, it could be years from now, and he knew in his heart that Karter would wait until Jax was ready. Having that choice was everything.

Karter wiped a stray tear from Jax’s cheek with his thumb.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I want right now, but I promise when I first show signs of heat, I’ll make that choice ahead of time, so we both know what it is.”

“That’s all I ask, love.”

Love.

Jax indulged in another kiss, deeper this time, putting the taste of Karter on his tongue. Karter’s scent wrapped around him, so warm and wonderful and Jax didn’t want to let go. But they were in a public garden, and Jax liked his personal life private. Maybe they could make out again later.

“Want to walk more?” Karter asked after being the one to end the kiss.

Nod-blink.

They rose and continued to explore the gardens. Jax was glad the issue of heat was behind them, the matter mostly settled. If his heat held off long enough, maybe Jax would want Karter to mate him. He wouldn’t really know until he got to know Karter and his family more. The last thing he wanted to do was mate with the man if Karter’s father was going to hate Jax.

Karson got fussy, so they stopped at a bench near a pretty blue-tiled fountain another couple was admiring. Jax had packed a bottle, and even though it wasn’t warmed, Karson gulped greedily. The other couple passed by on their way to another path, both men giving them odd looks that Jax ignored. He and Karson did make a physically odd couple, with the omega being slightly bigger than his alpha, but they couldn’t change it.

Jax doubted there was any way to reverse the stimulants he’d been given and reduce his body mass. If he stopped exercising altogether, he’d just get flabby. Besides, he liked his body now that he wasn’t trying to hurt other omegas with it. He could defend himself now that he was no longer heavily pregnant, even against an alpha attacker, and he liked knowing that. He also loved knowing his new alpha would give Jax bodily autonomy when he did not legally have to do so.

He glanced at Karter, curious about his reaction to the couple, but Karter was enamored watching little Karson eat. He only had eyes for his namesake, and it gave Jax hope that Karter wouldn’t go around growling at everyone who looked askance at Jax—because he was going to get odd looks, probably for the rest of their lives.

Once Karson was finished and burped, Karter reached for the diaper bag. “I had another ulterior motive for bringing you here,” he said as he pulled something out of the front pocket. “Besides discussing heat.” Karter held up a thin booklet. Basic Signal Language Explained.

Jax took the booklet with his free hand. The cover was an illustration of two men gesturing at each other.

“I thought we could sit for a while and learn this together. It will help us both communicate more easily.”

Shock and awe jolted through Jax, and he gaped at Karter for his thoughtful gesture. Then he rewarded Karter with a thorough kiss, leaving no corner of his alpha’s mouth unexplored.

“So is that a yes?”

Jax wheezed laughter and nodded.

The spent the next two hours learning and practicing the hand signals for basic questions and answers. Yes. No. Please. Thank you. Hello. Goodbye. How are you? Can I help? Where are we going? They signed them over and over, ignoring other people touring the gardens, lost in their own world while Karson napped in the sling. Karter had his voice, but he learned the gestures as much to read Jax’s hands as to teach them to others, so Tarek and Serge and the rest could communicate with Jax, too.

He wooed me with waffles, and now he’s wooing me with language, too, this perfect, perfect man.

Eventually, Jax’s stomach growled, and he realized they’d wiled the entire afternoon away. He slipped into the public restroom to change Karson’s diaper before they left. His continued appetite was a good sign, because one of the symptoms of heat was an aversion to eating. He’s spent half the day basking in his bondmate’s pheromones and no sign of heat yet.

Thank the goddess for small miracles.

Like the little miracle he was strapping into the baby carrier in Karter’s car.

Instead of going back to the Freel apartment, Karter drove him to a small restaurant in a heavily beta neighborhood. It was a hole-in-the-wall place, with fewer than fifteen tables in total, the menu written on a wall-sized chalkboard, rather than paper. They seated themselves, and a waiter came over right away. He cooed over Karson, who was still in his carrier on a chair, then took their drink orders.

Jax pulled on some of the signal language to cobble together a question. “Have you. Here. Eat. Yes.”

“Yes, I’ve eaten here quite a few times,” Karter replied. “It’s close to my apartment building, and I like it because it’s small. The owners are great people and the food is terrific. They do a mean grilled ham and cheese.”

Jax studied the menu, then wrote down his order so Karter could tell the waiter when he returned with their drinks. A beer for Karter, orange juice for Jax. He’d gotten out of the habit of drinking sugary things like soda while he was held captive, so he automatically went for the healthy options. That he was still reacting to his captors’ conditioning annoyed him. Next time, he’d make a conscious effort to order something unhealthy.

They practiced the signal language more while they waited for their food. Karter picked up on it even faster than Jax, and they added a few more new phrases by the time dinner arrived. Jax was starving, but also dismayed to realize he’d ordered seared salmon steak and grilled vegetables—the healthiest thing on the menu.

He ate, though, because he’d never waste food; he simply found no joy in it.

Halfway through the meal, Karter reached out and squeezed his left wrist. “What’s wrong? Food not good?”

“It’s fine. Tired.”

“You’ve had another long day. I’ll take you home when we’re done.”

“Thank you.” He hated lying to his alpha, but this food thing was Jax’s problem to overcome. It would just take time and practice.

By the time they returned to the apartment, Jax was drooping. Despite a fairly quiet morning, he’d had an emotional afternoon, and he was still recovering from living on the streets. Plus, he had an infant who wanted to be fed at all hours of the night.

Dex was home, and he waved from his spot on the couch, his iced knee up on the coffee table.

“You make that appointment?” Karter asked.

“Yes, Omegin,” Dex deadpanned.

Karter laughed.

Since Karson was asleep, Jax put him in the crib, then stepped back to stare down at him, his sling oddly empty. He’d have to get used to Karson being away from him; clinging like Jax did wasn’t healthy, and they were both safe here.

But Jax was also fading fast, and as Karter helped him shuck his pants and slide under the covers for a nap, he signed the only word he could think of: “Stay.”

“Always,” Karter whispered, then sealed the promise with a kiss.