“Yes,” I whisper back before biting my lip.
I hate myself for loving him. I shouldn’t love him. He is the reason my friend is gone. Or, at least, a contributing factor. Although there are countless things I could blame for her death—Wade, drugs, Asher, Danielle, and myself—blaming anyone isn’t going to bring her back.
What Danielle would have wanted, I hope, is for me to be happy. To keep living when she couldn’t.
So, as crazy and stupid as it might be for me to love Asher, to trust that he has changed, I do. Because I love him.
“Can we try this again?” Asher asks, his little fingers brushing against mine in the sand.
I grin just a little. It’s the first time I have in the weeks since I betrayed Asher. “Yes.”
Our hands grasp each other’s faces as we kiss. Our kisses are desperate, like we haven’t seen each other in years, not weeks. Our tongues tangle together as well as our bodies in the sand.
As I kiss Asher, I realize how stupid I was for following through with my plan. I would have been walking down the same path that Danielle did instead of following my heart and finding happiness.
I feel the wind blow through us as we kiss. I shiver as it does. Asher wraps his arms around me tighter, kissing me, unable to stop.
The wind blows harder, and I get sand in my eye, causing me to stop kissing him for a second. When I get the sand out, he goes in for another kiss. I hold up my hand, stopping him. The look of pain on his face is so sad, it’s almost cute.
“Are you having second thoughts?” he asks, his voice a little shaky.
I laugh because I love him so much that there is no way I could give him up, yet he still doubts how I feel. It’s going to take him longer to heal than it will take me. But then I’ve had months to heal from his betrayal, and he’s only had days to heal from mine.
“No. I just want to fuck you in a bed like normal people instead of here on the beach.”
Asher laughs, and I immediately see his insecurity leave his face. He stands up and then motions for me to climb on his back. I do, and then he carries me while I kiss his neck on the way to his car.
* * *
We make it back to my condo building without completely stripping each other naked although it was hard to keep our hands off each other. At one point, I had to sit on my hands to keep Asher from crashing the car. He said he couldn’t crash it. It wasn’t even his car.
I’ll have to ask him later where he has been sleeping since I took everything in the divorce. But I don’t want to bring up negative things like that now. Right now, I want to remember one of the reasons that I fell in love so hard with Asher. Because of what he does to my body.
But we can’t keep our hands off of each other any longer. Even though we still have to make it upstairs, into my condo, and then into bed.
Asher grabs my face and kisses me as soon as we are in the lobby. Sucking all of my breath away and making me wet with want and need for him.
“I can’t wait to have you,” I say between kisses.
“We need to move before they kick us out of the lobby,” Asher says against my lips.
“Uh-huh,” I say, tangling my hand in his hair that is starting to grow back out again.
Asher lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he walks to the elevators.
“Miss Hart and Mr. Calder, it’s so good to see you together again. I thought you might work it out,” Archie says.
Asher sets me down while we wait for the elevator, but his hands stay on my waist as he kisses my cheek and neck, just giving my lips a break so that I can answer Archie.
“We are happy to be back together.”
The elevator doors open, and Asher pushes me inside. “Thanks, Archie. We’ll see you later.”
The elevator doors close, and Asher pushes me against the wall as he kisses down my neck, then chest, and then stomach.
“Slow down, baby. We still have ten floors to climb.”
Asher pumps his fist against the emergency button, and the elevator comes to a stop.
“What are you do—” I stop speaking or caring about what he is doing when he lifts my dress up and kisses my bare skin and then down the inside of my thigh.
“I know you want me to wait to fuck you until we get to your bed, but I can’t wait to taste you. To make you mine again, especially after what he did to you.”
I slip my panties down, and then he runs his tongue across my pussy.
“This is mine,” he says against my skin.
I grab his hair as he licks over me, flicking his tongue across my clit, and then he slips a finger inside my pussy.
I bite my lip as he does it again and again, fucking me with his tongue, while I stand against the wall of the elevator. It’s wrong and dirty and oh-so right.
He shows me exactly what he wants, what he needs, with his tongue. Me.
“I love this pussy,” Asher says between licks. “Tell me you’re mine. Tell me you want me. Tell me you need this,” he says as he licks me faster.
I moan and feel myself getting close to exploding. I don’t know how he expects me to say so much when he’s doing what he is doing to me.
“Fuck, Asher,” is all I can manage to get out.
I scream and come all over his face in the elevator that I’m sure Archie is frantically trying to fix.
Asher grins as he slowly stands up to see me breathing hard, my heart racing, and my cheeks flushed.
“I love you, Sloane.”
“I love you, too. Although I think you need to do that at least a dozen more times before I start liking you again.”
Asher laughs as he hits the button to start us moving again. He kisses me on the neck. “That can be arranged.”
* * *
“See, I told you we would eventually make it to a bed,” Asher says, holding me close, as I lie in my bed on his bare chest.
I grin. “All the other places are nice, but I still think I like the bed the best.”
“Me, too. Although the ocean is a close second,” he says, winking.
He runs his hand through my hair. “So, are you going to let me move in since you stole my house, my truck, and all my money?”
I wince. I was waiting for him to ask about it. “I kind of gave everything to the charity I run.”
Asher laughs. “I knew you didn’t like my shack.”
I sit up and look at him. “I love your shack. It’s the one thing I didn’t sell or donate.”
“I don’t believe that you kept it.”
“Of course I kept it. Besides, I don’t think I would have been able to sell it. Nobody else would have wanted it, and if I had managed to sell it, I wouldn’t have made money off of it anyway,” I say.
Asher tickles me in retaliation. I giggle and squirm and swat at his hand to get him to stop.
When we both stop laughing, I say, “Can I move in with you though?”
Asher looks at me seriously. “You want to move into my place? You do know, I was telling the truth. That, that is my only place. You would have gotten any other place I had in the divorce if I’d had another place.”
I nod. “I know. And maybe not right away. But, eventually, that is my hope. If you have taught me one thing, it is that I should live more simply. I live a life of giving back to others, yet I live in this place that has far too many things.”
“I would love to have you share my shack with me as long as we bring this bed.” Asher kisses me on the cheek. “This bed is far better than my bed.”
I laugh. “We can bring the bed. When is your next competition?”
Asher frowns. “I have no idea. I haven’t been training since you left me. Why?”
I grin and flip over, kissing his chest. “First, I want you to fuck me again and again in this bed.”
Asher nods. “I’m listening.”
“And then I want to talk about how you are going to work at my charity and continue surfing because you need to do both. You are great with the kids.”
He kisses me on the cheek.
“And then we can talk about our future. When we are going to move in together, get married, have our own kids. Because, if there is one thing I know, it is that I love you, and I’m never hurting you again.”
He kisses down to my breasts. “We can definitely talk about all of that. But I think we can wait to have the kids talk a little down the line.” He takes my nipple in his mouth. “But I’m definitely up for practicing.”
He grins.
“You did teach me the one thing you promised when you married me.”
He thinks for a moment. “What was that again?”
“You taught me how to take risks. Because being with you is by far the riskiest thing I have ever done.”
He grins. “Sometimes, taking the risk makes living worthwhile.”
“And, sometimes, falling in love is all the adrenaline you need in your life.”
He takes my nipple back in his mouth, ready for another round. One thought flashes through my head though, but I know I have only seconds left before the thought evaporates while Asher teases my body.
Should I tell him the truth?
No.
The truth isn’t always needed to make a relationship work. Sometimes, a lie is needed to keep two people on even ground. Asher needs the lie to be true even if he suspects himself that it is false. He needs me to have done something unforgivable. Even though I didn’t actually cheat on him with Chance, I did do something unforgivable. I lied.
I made Asher believe that I’d betrayed him. Cheated on him. I put images in his head that I know he will never be able to erase. But he needs to believe the lie. So, I will keep on lying about it. Just this once.
He stole to find love. I lied to keep it. But I have no doubts that our love will last because the one thing I don’t have to worry about is that we will each do anything and everything to keep it.