Chapter Eighteen
Marlee sat on the bed, feeling bewildered. Cradled in her hand was the proof that Ratchet could freaking smell a pregnancy. She stared at the white plastic strip and the two little blue lines still feeling like this was one big prank. Or another stupid dream. Would she wake up and find this wasn’t reality?
But no. She knew it was real.
She’d taken the entire three pack of tests.
“Say something, mate.” He stood in the door of the bathroom, rigid, arms crossed.
Scowl in place.
Damn. She loved him, didn’t she? Like, really loved him. The man who gave more than he got.
Except this time he’d given her something they would share forever.
“How did you know?”
“I could sense it.” As if that explained knowing she was pregnant before she did.
“But… how?”
He pushed off from the jamb and began pacing. “My animal,” he muttered. “It’s in there, and it knew.”
He glanced her way, seeing she was still confused and tried again.
“I have a beast inside. It’s hard to explain. The thing has been broken for a long time, but it’s healing now, since you. Since finding you and loving you. You, you, you. Shit, lamb. I told you… you’re everything.”
“I don’t understand.”
He stalked forward, falling to his knees next to the bed. Her buried his face in her stomach again, inhaling hard. But this time he didn’t seem like a bloodhound. More like he was trying to keep it for remembering later. He squeezed her close, nuzzling his cheek against her like a cat rubbing on its human.
Something was wrong.
She could feel it in her middle. That piece of her heart that had pulled her toward him since the moment he found her… it hurt.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Explaining what I am isn’t important after this,” he said, exhaling a shuddering breath. “There’s only one thing that matters and it’s that I can’t protect you here. I can’t keep you and a young safe.”
She set the pregnancy test aside and hugged his head close, running her finger over his hair. Whatever that did, his arms tightened around her even more. Anything to make him feel better. They could get through this. Sure, they could.
They just needed a way to beat Bastian. A way to make Felix a nicer person.
Or maybe that’s what Ratchet meant. That they couldn’t stay here. Not now, with a baby coming.
Okay.
They could run away. It would take longer to get the girls free now, but they would find a way.
There was always a way.
She nodded to herself, tangling her fingers in his hair. She’d lost hope for a minute after learning about her mom. A sharp ache hit her chest at the reminder. But she was Marlee Benson. She’d survived being Thirteen. She’d found a way out, and now she’d find a way through the rest. She wouldn’t stop until everyone she cared about was safe.
“What now?” she asked, pressing her lips to his head. He’d know what to do. He took such good care of her. Always. He’d be the most protective father for their baby. Be hard, because it was who he was. But he’d be soft too, because that’s what he wanted for the people he loved.
His arms got impossibly tighter, his fingers digging into her flesh.
“Now…” His voice was gritty. He didn’t sound like himself. And whatever solution she’d expected him to come up with, it wasn’t what came out of his mouth. “It’s time to set you free.”
“What?” She frowned and pushed his head back until he looked at her.
His expression was twisted like in pain. And there was no doubt that his eyes had changed to something else. The blue blazed so bright she was sure she’d be able to see them in the dark.
“Time for you to be free, lamb,” he growled low. “You need to leave tonight. Get far from here. Take our baby and live a good life. One where there’s no reason to be afraid. One like you deserve.”
“What?” Things inside were crumbling, the bottom sliding out of her world all over again. Like it had so many times before.
“You have to go. I’ll stay here and finish what we started. Free the dolls, heal my clan.” His gaze went dark. “Make sure Bastian can never hurt you or anyone else again. This is how I make you free, Marlee. This is how I make sure my young is never raised an Alley Cat.”
“No,” she snapped, pushing him away. She shoved him hard, palms smacking against his chest. He got to his feet, hands in the air like he was just going to take whatever else she threw. “No. I’m staying.”
“It’s too dangerous,” he hissed. “You’re a vulnerability.”
The word snapped from his mouth like a slap. And it stung as bad as one.
“You said love wasn’t a vulnerability for your people,” she shot back. “That it could heal you and change you and make you stronger.” But her voice sounded hurt instead of angry like she wanted to be.
Ratchet looked away, shaking his head. Sadness poured off him. His fists clenched. “Not this time, lamb. It wasn’t enough.”
Shit.
Knife. To the chest.
God, she knew she was broken. But he had accepted her like that. Wanted to put her back together.
“I wasn’t enough?” she squeaked.
His head snapped around and he looked furious. Mad enough to punch a tree. She imagined that’s what he would look like when he finally killed Bastian.
“No, mate. Me. I wasn’t enough. I can’t bring the firecat out, no matter how much I love you.”
What the hell was the firecat? Enough with the code.
“And without it, I’ll never be enough to keep you safe. I have too many enemies and so do you. And now… there’s another life to think of. You have to leave. And I have to let you go.” He closed the distance between them, tucking his knuckle under her chin to bring her eyes to his. “Set you free.”
Freedom. He was giving it to her but now she didn’t want it. What she wanted was a choice.
And she still didn’t have that.
Maybe she never would.
“I don’t want to do this alone. Be alone. I want to be with you. You make me feel good things. I’m not walking away from that.”
Ratchet looped his pinky around hers, and pulled her up to his chest. His big palm settled over her belly where a new life grew. One she already felt protective over.
“You have to, lamb,” he said.
And she knew he was right. Whatever was to happen in the future, right now, she had to protect the innocent life they had created. Until Bastian was no longer a threat, and the Alley Cats’ cruel world shifted…
She had no choice.
***
Leah’s hands shook as she hung up with her son and hurried to dial Skittles’ number. The ring of the phone sounded like betrayal.
“Yeah.” Skittles sounded distracted.
“We need to do this now. She’s ready.”
“And Ratchet? He away?” His voice got quiet. “Because if he finds out I’m doing this, he’ll have my balls on a skewer. Shit, worse than that.”
“He’s letting her go. Wants her gone. And he won’t know you’re helping. I’ll get her out and meet you at the shed.”
There was a long silence. So long she almost pulled back her phone to see if the call had dropped.
“Bullshit, Mama,” he hissed. “He’d never let her just leave.”
“He called me. I didn’t even have to convince him. He’s letting her go, and he’s trusting me to get her out safely.”
Her stomach twisted. Was she really doing this? Giving Marlee back to the vilest of men.
Skittles hadn’t batted an eye at helping her. He was doing what was good for the clan, giving Marlee back. A second in command through and through. She didn’t know what she’d expected, but the tiniest resistance would have at least let her know the witches’ curse on her boys was doing its job.
“You still with me?” she asked, half hoping he said no.
Because if he said yes… Leah was going to betray her heart in the worst way.
For Thomas, she reminded herself.
A long sigh came through the phone. “Yeah, fine. Meet in ten.”
“We’ll be there.”
“Oh, Mama?”
“Yeah.”
“Not the shed. Meet me out by the trucks. Back row, got it?”
“Got it.”
She hung up the phone feeling dirtier than she ever had. She hoped this was worth it.
Because she was going straight to hell.