Yasmine

 

The next morning, I woke up to my phone ringing. Things fell off my end table as I grabbed it. My head pounded in pain.

I grabbed the phone and answered, “Hello?”

“You can’t sleep the entire day away.” Hawk’s sexy voice flowed over the phone. “You’ll be up all night.”

“I’m not sleeping all...” Yawning, I pulled away the curtain. The sky was darkening as the sun set. “Wait a minute. How long was I out?”

“The whole day. I came by to check on you twice. Both times Cindy said you were still out and that your snoring had risen through the whole place this morning.”

I put my head under the covers. “I don’t snore.”

“Sure, you don’t. Are you hungry?”

My stomach growled. My tongue had transformed into sandpaper while I’d slept. I visualized drinking down a bathtub full of water and still not being quenched.

“Yaz?”

“Yes. I’m hungry.” I yawned again, took off the blanket, and dragged myself out of bed.

“Would you like me to take you somewhere or do you want me to bring you some food?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does.”

I looked around the room and gawked at my walls, taking in my new decorations. Sometime through the night, I’d taped torn-out magazine pages to my walls. Glossy images of fashionable couples greeted my eyes.

Alrighty then.

I found my slippers in an empty bag of chips by my bed.

I don’t even want to know why I put those there.

“If you’re too sick,” Hawk said, “then I don’t want to make you come out.”

“No. Apparently, sleeping over ten hours helps get rid of a hangover. I feel brand new, but just a little...disoriented.” I tripped over pages and pages of my scribbled words and picked one up, reading the lines.

I want my money, motherfucker.

I’d written those two sentences over and over, not knowing what the hell I’d been thinking when I wrote them.

Hawk disturbed my thoughts. “How long do you think it will take you to get ready?”

“Twenty minutes at the most.” I picked up another page and the same sentences were on it.

 I don't want a fucking mermaid! I want my money, motherfucker.

“Sounds good,” Hawk said. “I’ll pick you up in twenty-five minutes.”

“Thanks.”

I hung up and pushed the mermaid sentences out of my mind. Foggy bits of my memory started coming back to me, and I was slowly remembering how much of a mess I’d been with him last night.

Why the hell did I go over there? He must think I’m crazy.

I hurried, taking care of the essentials in the shower, drying off like I was in a race, rummaging through my closet, and putting on my clothes. After so much drinking, jeans and a comfortable shirt was the only option.

By the time I’d finished, the sun had fully set, and my nerves had flared on edge. I couldn’t point to why I was so nervous. He’d been sweet last night. With each minute, I was remembering more. Part of me was embarrassed to see him again. I’d torn off my dress and had him chasing me around the beach at night.

I’m lucky he didn’t curse my ass out.

I waited outside for a few minutes. My favorite couple walked by—the blonde woman and the dark-haired man. Today, they strolled hand-in-hand. He whispered in her ear and she giggled. When they traveled a few feet beyond me, the dark-haired guy glanced over his shoulder and winked at me.

Really?

I looked forward, and then a shiny red car pulled up in front of me. The top was off. Jazz flowed in a slow groove out of its speakers. The design was impeccable. Had I been a gear head, I would’ve recognized the car. Either way, I was sure it cost a house or two.

“Nice wheels.” I walked over to the door as he jumped out.

“No.”

I paused. “No?”

He rushed in front of me and opened the door. “There you go, milady.”

“Thank you. You’re a true gentleman.”

“For now.” He waited for me to get in before closing the door. “If you take your clothes off again like you did last night, I might not be a gentleman anymore.”

My whole face flushed.

He walked around the car, probably enjoying my silent embarrassment.

Then, he imitated me as he put on his sunglasses. “What it do, motherfucker?”

I strapped in and lowered onto his leather seats, more hiding my embarrassment than getting comfortable. “Don’t remind me.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget that night.”

I shook my head as we zipped off, going well beyond the speed limit. It was a regular Monday afternoon during low tourist season. The Key’s high season was December through April. Although Cindy’s place was packed, everyone else had many free rooms. At this time of the evening, everybody was out on the beach with a lover near a bonfire, or in their homes enjoying dinner with family. The streets were empty besides us blasting by.

The wind whipped through my dreadlocks and felt good on my skin. Hawk’s jazz filled the air. The saxophone gave us a perfect soundtrack to the darkening scenery speeding by us.

We made it to the restaurant in no time and ended up being the only customers there. I read the sign and looked at him. “Naked?”

That word was inside the silhouette of a curvy woman.

“I hope you like the place. Last night inspired it.” He parked and frowned as I jumped out on my own.

“I wanted to open the door for you,” he said.

“Sorry.”

Naked was housed in a stately Victorian home complete with a balcony overlooking Duval Street.

“It looks interesting,” I said.” What do they serve here?”

“High-end southern cuisine.” He pocketed his keys and came over to me. “They have the best cornbread on the east coast.”

“Sounds delicious.”

“They also have a signature softshell crab dish.”

“I’m going to grab five of those. I’m starving.” I grabbed his hand and got ready to walk off. He didn’t move. Instead, he stared at our hands.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I let go. “I think I did that out of habit.”

“No, it’s fine.” He still hadn’t moved. “You miss that?”

“Holding hands? Maybe. But really, it’s just something I do with someone I care about. Sometimes Cindy and I hold hands, especially if I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Of course.” He extended his hand to me. “Here.”

“No. Now, it’s all weird.” I grinned and walked off. “Come on. I’m so hungry. And by the way, dinner is on me. We should go back and forth, if we continue to eat together.”

“You’re not paying.”

I opened the door for us and he groaned as I bowed. “After you, kind sir.”

“You’re going to be the guy this evening?”

“We’re friends so the whole gender equality thing has set in. If we were dating, then it would be different.”

“Don’t open a door for me anymore.” He walked through. “And you’re not paying for dinner.”

I stuck my tongue at his back.

The hostess greeted us and then led us through the beautiful restaurant. Vibrant artwork by local artists decorated the walls. We sat down at the table closest to the water. There was no need to read a menu. The waitress had explained that the chef enjoyed surprising his guests. She asked about allergies and any foods we loved and hated. After she left, only the soothing sound of the ocean waves moved around us.

Luckily, there wasn’t a live band. I didn’t think my head could take any loud noise this evening, and it would be nice to eat and have a conversation with Hawk. While his ex and all that stuff would be off topic, I still wanted to know more about the man he’d become.

I took a sip of my water, not planning to order any wine this evening. “Did you paint today?”

“Yes.”

“What did you paint?”

“Your lips. Over and over.”

My skin warmed.

“You should let me show you how beautiful I think your mouth is.”

My heartbeats increased. I drank more water.

A smile spread across his face. “I was also a fan of those pink panties.”

“You’re not going to let me live last night down?”

“No.”

“That sucks.”

“You messed my painting up. I didn’t do anything but lay in bed after that.”

I wanted to know what he was doing in bed. Was it more than sleeping? I damn sure pictured the possibilities and then shoved them away.

Hawk reached across the table and placed his hand over mine. “The skinny-dipping left me wanting more.”

The waitress came by and set our first dishes in front of us. A bowl full of something delicious sat on each crystal plate, but food no longer had my attention. Hawk licked his lips and all I wanted to do was taste his tongue again.

The waitress said, “We have lobster tartare topped with mango shrimp.”

Hawk kept his heated gaze on me. “Thank you.”

Our waitress left, and neither of us picked up our food.

“Wanting more?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“More than sex?”

He leaned his head to the side. “Meaning?”

I shook my head and picked up my fork. “Companionship, Hawk. Conversation. Interest in more than how to open my legs. That’s what I mean by more.”

“I meet those things, besides companionship.”

“Companionship is important.”

“How do you define it?”

I munched on my food, almost ready to laugh at the whole situation. Had I not known what he’d been through, I would’ve thought he was a robot with no emotions. Instead, I realized he was just guarding himself.

I waved him away. “This would be a bad idea, so there’s no need to define it.”

“What is companionship to you? Talking? Holding hands? Or more?”

“More.”

“Goals?” he asked. “Commitment? Sharing lemonade on an old porch while we’re old?”

“Now you’re talking.” I finished my plate and couldn’t wait for the next dish. He still hadn’t touched his.

“We can compromise on some of this.”

“Can we?”

“I’ve been thinking about this all day.” He took my empty plate and put his full one in front of me. “Eat. I have a proposition for you.”

“But you didn’t even try your food.”

“I’m not hungry. I just knew you would be.”

I sighed and dove in. I felt like I hadn’t eaten in years. He watched me gobble everything up with this intense look as if he was analyzing my every detail to paint later. I felt like I was under a microscope.

When I finished, our waitress grabbed our empty plates and refilled our water.

“Loyalty and honesty,” he said.

“What?”

“I can be loyal and honest the whole time we’re involved. And of course, I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else.”

“And how long would we do this?”

He licked his lips. “Until it stops feeling good.”

“What if it doesn’t stop feeling good?”

“That sounds good to me.”

“And then, what if I fall in love with you because it’s so amazing?”

His confident expression faltered. “We could...deal with that, when it came.”

“It sounds like we’d be dealing with me crying.”

“Be positive.”

I smirked. “I’m being logical.”

He shook his head. “This is the wrong time for you to be logical.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted you so bad last night, I couldn’t go to sleep. Because I was close to ripping off those little panties of yours last night. Because my cock is hard right now and I don’t want to eat any food, I want to taste you, right now, on this table, licking you all over your pussy until you moan my name.”

Shocked, my lips parted. I had nothing to say. My panties moistened.

The waitress returned with our dinner and set them in front of us. I didn’t even hear what she said and had no idea what was on the plates.

Once the waitress left, he asked, “Your thoughts?”

“Hawk...”

“Yes?”

I didn’t have anything rational to say. “You’re...you’re turning me on.”

“Good.”

“But—”

“No buts. I’ve been thinking. You want to heal? And you want to heal me? Then, let’s try it.”

I shook my head. “Now, it’s my turn to say, ‘Oh God.’ What are you going to heal me with? Your dick?”

I wasn’t ready for the expression that covered his face. It was hot and blew me away. He looked like a hungry man as he captured his bottom lip with his teeth and gripped the edge of the table. He looked like a tiger ready to leap.

“This isn’t a simple case of me just wanting to have sex,” he said. “I could do that with anybody. I want you. Period. No one else in my bed. There’s no one else I want to spend my evening with. And I don’t think, I’ll stop craving you, until I have you.”

And how did I feel? It was what he’d said, but times ten. There was no need denying it any longer at dinner. He made me hot and horny.

I picked up my spoon, dipped it in the sauce, and put it in my mouth. Desire built between us as he watched me sample the food. I didn’t know who I was kidding. After that confession, I was no longer hungry. And I couldn’t help but slowly lick the sauce away, thinking of what else could be in my mouth.

A soft groan left his lips.

I dipped my spoon and licked it again.

He gripped the edge of the table harder. The water wobbled a little in my glass.

“I don’t know, Hawk.”

“You know. And right now, you know exactly what you’re doing to me.”

Those blue eyes targeted me. I was trapped. They shined and delivered a searing flush against my flesh. No one had ever looked at me like that before, like they wanted to eat me. Like they’d never even seen a woman until my face. Like they yearned and craved the image before them, and I was it.

I swirled the spoon around in the bowl. “You make me...hot.”

“Show me.”

I blushed. “How?”

“Are you sure you want my suggestions?”

I set my spoon down. “This is dangerous territory.”

“It is.”

“I want you too.”

“Then, go with it.”

“And my heart?” I asked.

“Don’t open it.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“I could show you.”

I leaned back in my chair and studied him. “I bet you could.”

“Plenty people do it and have no regrets. And we’ll always be friends.”

“Can you guarantee that?”

He frowned. “Nothing is guaranteed, Cherry Bomb, but I can promise that I’ll do my best to never hurt you. I want this to be good for the both of us. And I won’t disrespect or mistreat you. I’m talking friends with no strings attached.”

“Fling fuck buddies.”

A wicked grin spread across his face. “This would be more than a fling, and more than a fuck.”

I swallowed and tapped the edge of my plate. “Let me think about it for a few days.”

He never let go of the table as he nodded. “Okay.”

Finally, he released the table from his grip and ate. The rest of dinner continued in regular conversation. We caught each other up in the past years, limiting the conversation only to our occupations. Neither touched on our past relationships for obvious reasons. Yet, throughout our conversation, there were moments when we caught the other staring too long or smiling for no reason like a silly fool in love. The whole time, it felt so good and scared me. He didn’t want more, but I could feel myself falling.

He was Hawk—sweet and safe, loyal and so goddamn sexy.

After we finished, I slipped my credit card to the waitress before him which had him frowning until he left. I was sure he’d find a way to pay me back in the future.

The drive back was just as relaxing as when we’d gone to the restaurant—jazz music riding an ocean breeze.

The car zoomed along the streets with no problem. But when we got in our neighborhood, he parked in front of his house and turned off the car. “I was hoping you would come up to my studio right now. If not, I’ll walk you home.”

I blinked. “Why?”

“Because I have to paint you. Inspiration is burning inside of me right now and I have to answer it.”

“But I’m not—”

“Can I paint you tonight?”

My body tensed at his voice. The words dripped with lust.

No. It’s not a good idea. Don’t.

Those damn eyes trapped me.

“Okay,” I whispered.

We left his car and went up to his studio.

I shouldn’t have been going back to his house. It was clear we weren’t on the same page when it came to relationships. Also, I’d just got out of a bad situation. I didn’t need to fall in love with another man, especially one so complicated and adamant about wanting nothing more than sex.

Why am I doing this? Why did I tell him I would think about it?

In my head, I rationalized that I needed to see his new drawings of me. But secretly, I wanted to see where this was going. Everything was already playing out like a fantasy. At dinner, I’d found myself relaxing and enjoying myself even more than I’d expected.

As soon as I stepped in and saw the painting of my lips, I regretted it. My body blazed with fire. He’d done them so sexy. So unreal.

His deep voice slipped along my skin. “One kiss and I can’t stop painting them.”

“You’re talented.”

“It’s not talent, when I’m simply painting the truth.” He came to me and my heart stopped as he extended his hand. “You should give this a chance.”

“I told you I would think about.”

He enclosed his warm fingers around mine, delivering heat to my core. “This is what you want?”

Nervous, I asked, “Are you going to paint me or hold my hand?”

Earlier, he’d acted weird about holding hands, but here he stood, holding my hand like he never wanted to let go.

He guided me to the couch as if I was this fragile thing.

“How do you want me to pose?” I asked.

“Just get comfortable. It doesn’t matter.” He let go of my hand and raked his finger through that silky black hair.

I gestured to my clothes. “Is this okay?”

Shaking his head, he rubbed his face with both hands.

“What?” I asked.

He drank me in further. I couldn’t tell what he was trying to say, but when I slipped my gaze at his jeans, I could’ve swore I spotted an erection.

No. He’s not hard. No way.

I tried to get the very idea out of my head, but then I checked again, and was sure that his cock was hard. It was too big to hide, pushing up against that jean material as if his dick had a mind of his own.

Fuck! He’s hard! For me? Oh shit! What’s going on?

My nipples hardened. My sex went slick with desire, eager to see what lay behind those jeans.

He closed the distance between us, brought his face close to mine, and practically moaned my name. “Yaz?”

“Yes.”

“What’s on your mind?” He licked his lips.

I wanted to rise and suck on his lip. How would it taste? How long would he let me suck? Until he groaned or pulled out his cock and placed it in my mouth?

Nonetheless, I wanted to suck Hawk’s cock. That truth drummed inside of me. Within those jeans, it looked thick and long. Was it? Or were those some pretty complementing pants?

I should get out of here.

“Yaz, what’s on your mind? Your expression since we’ve been in here—”

“What?”

“It’s making crazy. What are you thinking about?”

I swallowed down as much lust as I could.

“Now, you’re shy?” he whispered.

“I’m horny, not shy.”

“Do you want me to do something about that?”

“No. I’m still thinking.”

Nodding, he backed away. His gaze never left mine as he placed his hands in his pockets. “You still didn’t tell me what you were thinking about?”

“It’s not important.”

“I bet it is. Say it.”

“I was wondering how big...” I swallowed. “How big your dick is.”

I stayed where I was as Hawk looked like he was about to freaking attack me. He didn’t move, but his eyes said walk away slowly. In that moment, he served as a beast, a resting giant. A patient predator, watching me in a seemingly relaxed position, although I could see that one of his hands gripped his cock through the pocket.

Damn it. Don’t do that. Don’t touch it in front of me. Not when I want to see.

By now, my panties and jeans stuck to the space between my thighs. All wet and creamy, I was glad I didn’t wear light colored bottoms.

I should get out of here. What was I thinking? Of course, I can’t be in a room by myself with him.

I slowly walked away. “I should go.”

Anger crossed his face, but he said nothing.

“I can walk myself home. It’s just right there.” I took a few more steps away. “In fact, I would rather just go on my own. A long walk is what I need. Really long. Feel the breeze. So cold...and hard. And breathe some fresh air and...taste it.”

He licked his lips. “You talk a lot when you’re really horny?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

I didn’t say anything else. I was close to panting over him. Hopefully, he hadn’t noticed that or the fact that my hard nipples had refused to hide themselves underneath my shirt.

I turned around, kept my pace steady, but was determined to get away before doing something I regretted. Although I wanted him bad, I had to think about it. Could I have a fuck fling with him and nothing else? Could it heal us, instead of break us?

Why does he have to be so fucking sexy?

I paused in the doorway and turned around to say goodbye.

I shouldn’t have.

He stood right there, his hand down his pants like a madman. Thank God, he didn’t stroke it. Thank God, he hadn’t brought his cock out and showed me how meaty and long he really was.

But he’d placed his hands inside of his pants and basically confirmed what I’d thought. He had an erection. His cock was hard for me. There could be no other reason, unless he was just really that into art so much that he got aroused.

No. It’s me.

Licking his lips, he kept that hand right there and gazed right at me. Neither one of us spoke. What would we have to say? What could I even say?

Would you like me to help you with that?

A groan left him as if he heard everything I’d thought. Maybe he saw the desire all over my face. My nipples had surely hardened so bad they ached. If he could just come over and taste one, I would’ve been happy for the rest of my life. Surely, I was too scared to go to him.

What’s wrong with me? Stay or go? Run or fuck him until my voice his hoarse?

“Now, what are you thinking about?” he whispered.

“I’m thinking about how good it would be, if you touched me.”

“And can I?”

“No,” I blurted out.

“Okay,” he said through clenched teeth. “Make sure you think about my proposition tonight.”

“I will.”

“I will too.” And then Hawk stroked himself, right there. Right in front of me. It was so hot. What made him decide to start? Had I told him from not moving that I wanted him to? Or could he just not control himself anymore? He’d probably been waiting for me to leave the room.

Fuck.

I couldn’t see his hand, but I could tell that it slowly moved up and down. His gaze remained on me. I could barely breathe or contain myself.

“Okay.” Bobbing my head like an idiot, I backed away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I hurried out of there. A zipper sounded behind me.

Holy shit!

And then he groaned loud and moaned, “Fuck, Yaz. What are you doing to me?”