I got back to my apartment at the end of that weekend in a daze. I had the company, but Nancy? Even the thought of her made me feel ashamed. I knew I shouldn’t have just let her go; I should have been there for her. But if I had, I wouldn’t have changed my uncle’s mind. God, why was it so hard for everything to work out at once?

The next week was full of meetings with my uncle and the board, in addition to my regular work schedule, so I was pretty busy. Yet, I tried calling Nancy at every point that I could. Every spare moment was spent thinking about her, but she wouldn’t even answer her phone. I thought that we had really started something, that this was the beginning of the rest of our lives. I mean Jesus, I was going to propose. But how could I be sure that she had felt even remotely close to my feelings if she couldn’t even be bothered to talk to me. I had royally fucked up and I would give anything to make it up to her, but it was clear that she might not even want me to.

By the end of the week, I was in desperate need of advice, so I met up with Neil for drinks by my office building. I only had an hour before I had to go back and finish up some paperwork I had left in the midst of everything going on with Paris Inc. Now that I was leaving the firm, I also had to close down and transfer all of my contacts, which was just adding on to my normal work-load. I settled with a pint of Heineken and left the hard liquor to Neil, who was coming off of his first official week working in his new job.

“I mean, I gotta be honest with you bro, I didn’t see this coming. You actually bought a ring?”

I made a face, my eyes widening and my lips pursed. “Why the hell not? I was sure I wanted to spend my life with her.”

“And now?”

I frowned. “And now, what? She doesn’t want to talk to me, let alone marry me.”

Neil sighed, taking another sip of his drink. “I mean. I should tell you…”

I didn’t like the way that he was looking down at his drink. “Tell me what?”

“That I told her… before all this started, to watch out for you.”

I threw my hands up in exasperation. “What the hell man!”

Neil shrugged, taking a healthy swig of his Jack and coke. “I mean, this is my sister we’re talking about. And I can’t take any chances with her. You know how you used to be.”

I flexed my jaw. I knew what he was talking about. There was no denying that. I had always been pretty guarded since my parents. When I knew Neil in college, I was a chronic womanizer who had a problem with remembering the faces of the girls I’d banged. I blinked as I took another sip of my Heineken, trying to squeeze away all of those unpleasant thoughts, the memories of the self I used to be, the one I was embarrassed to admit.

Neil patted me on the back. “Hey, no worries man. You were always honest. You were just focused on your future. Nothin’ wrong with that.”

I huffed a breath. With everything that had happened, I wondered if there really was a difference between my past and present self. Did I really change in all of these years if my career was still my first and only priority?

When I didn’t say anything, Neil tried to make me feel better. “Look, Nancy just got this crazy new opportunity in New York.”

My eyes widened, an urge to spit out my beer instead of swallowing it overcoming me. “What?”

Neil nodded, and through my horror, I could still appreciate the pride evident in his eyes. “She’s gonna be a choreographer at the New York Dance Company. She starts her training next week officially.”

“So, she’s leaving now.”

Neil gave me a cautious look. “Tomorrow, actually.”

I ducked my head, my eyes wide, incredulous. “Way to bury the lead, Neil.”

Neil ducked his head. “Way to not tell me you were gonna propose to my sister.”

“So, it’s done, then? It’s set in stone?”

He gave a slow nod. “You gotta understand. This is her dream.”

I gulped. I couldn’t ignore that. Trying to stop her wouldn’t be fair. I had to let her go for her dreams. If I cared about her at all, I wasn’t going to stand in the way of that. “I know. I just… I can’t just let her go like that again.”

“Do you still wanna marry her?”

“Always.”

“Then go. But let me tell you this, if you head over there and you haven’t made a case, then you’re wasting your damn time. You should make sure you have some good reasons for breaking her heart because when Nancy makes up her mind, it takes a whole army to change it back.”

Neil’s words rung through my head the rest of the afternoon, that night, and all of the next day. I wanted to see her that night but Neil told me that she would be working her last shift at the club, and that she’d probably want to sleep. As much as I wanted to interrupt her anyway, as important as I thought this was, I didn’t want to inconvenience her any more than I already had. As I was in my car on the way there, I couldn’t think of anything but the sight of her, the sound of her, the smell of her. I missed her so much and the thought that I might never see her again, that she would really be gone, was too much to bear.

The morning of the next day, I went over to her house, the address Neil had given me. My heart pounded in my chest as I knocked on the door, my mind going blank with anticipation. I had no idea what I would even tell her when I saw her. But when she opened that door and I saw her standing there, her tired eyes wide with surprise, her messy hair thrown in a bun on top of her head, all I could think and say was, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She grimaced--- surprised, hurt, stunned, as she stood aside for me to enter. The cozy place was cluttered with boxes. The walls decorated with nothing but odd hooks and scratches made by what used to be there. “Why did you come here?” She didn’t move again, but stood against her hallway with her arms crossed in front of her.

“I don’t want you to go.”

She sighed, her small shoulders moving ever so slightly. The image of me and her lying together on that boat, our naked bodies pressed together, flashed behind my eyes for a short moment. “I didn’t want to go either.”

She wasn’t talking about New York.

“I should have come to find you.”

She shifted her weight. “So why didn’t you?”

I pursed my lips, my hands curling into fists at my side. There were no good answers to this question, none that could actually explain my choices that day.

“I want you to go,” she said after she waited a minute for my response.

I shook my head. “Please, Nancy.” I shoved my hand in my pocket, my fingers curling around the black box.

But she got off the wall and started walking down her hallway. I followed her, my steps creaking on the aged wood, my feet stepping around the still-opened boxes and bags of trash.

“I have a lot to do. I just don’t have time for this.”

“Nancy, I’m sorry I didn’t come for you that day.” I said, unable to mask that pleading lilt in my voice.

She stopped, but kept her back to me. “No. Don’t do that. Don’t come here and try to make me feel sorry for you after all of this.” she finally turned, letting me see the way that her eyes were watering. “After everything.”

I crossed what little space existed between us and wrapped my arms around her. I needed to hold her, to keep her together, to have her, completely. The ring weighed heavy in my pocket. As I sucked in hefty breaths of her hair, squeezed her in my arms, felt the warmth of her skin on my fingertips, I was just about to let her know just how much I cared about her, just how much I loved her, just how a part of my future she was. But then she pulled back, her gorgeous eyes gazing up at me. “We’re just not meant to be together.”

My stomach flipped. My heart dropped, landing like a chunky, dead weight in the pit of me. This was going just about as badly as it possibly could. “Nance… No…”

But she shook her head, placing a hand on my cheek.

I could have melted at the touch.

“You have your life here. You have your company and your family. And…” she shook her head, her eyes getting redder and redder. I could practically see her struggling to talk around the lump in her throat. “And there’s no room for me in it. You made that abundantly clear.”

“But Nancy, I…”

“And maybe this whole New York thing is happening for a reason.”

“Nancy, I never meant- …”

“Maybe I was never supposed to be here.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Maybe we were never supposed to-...”

I took her face in both of my hands. “I love you.”

“-fall in love…” Her voice trailed off as she heard my last words. She just gazed up at me, her eyes wide, the tears finally spilling over. “You…” She managed to say in between her rugged breaths.

She tried to speak again, but I wouldn’t let her. I nudged her to the wall, and took her into my arms again, kissing her. Our lips collided, our bodies moving together as my heart launched into overdrive. It was like I was alive again, touching her, kissing her, being with her. I knew that I would never have anything like this again, anything like her.