I clutched that stupid paint roller as hard as I could to mask the fact that I was shaking. God, James made me so nervous. It took everything in me to look away from him, something that was necessary if I actually wanted to get this set painted. But God he was so dreamy. And he’s had a crush on me for as long as he’s known Neil! That was unbelievable for me.

I kept dipping the roll in paint and coating the house, over and over again. I tried to remember the first time that I saw him, but I barely could. I must have been so preoccupied with something. I shuddered to think of all the wasted time, because he really was completely gorgeous. My heart thudded in my chest and I couldn’t stop smiling. He liked me. He really liked me. How lucky was I?

Once we finished the house, we moved on to the trees. The trunks had to be brown and the leaves green. I was experimenting with different shades, mixing all the paints together. I sloshed the colors into different pans, smearing them around with my brush. The wood shop was quiet except for this; the sounds of the paint sloshing, the swooshing of the brushes in the pans, the crunch as they rubbed against the paper mache. I could hear his breath and mine as we went back and forth, taking turns dipping our brushes. There was a little grunt from him as he stretched to reach something high up, a sigh from me as I flexed my neck. It wasn’t long before that room started to feel smaller and smaller. Suddenly, he was everywhere. There was no space between us. I could feel him, hear him, smell him, and boy was it hot.

His arms flexed as he stroked the tree trunk, pursing his lips in concentration. It was the way that he stepped back to examine his work, a furrow in his brow, the way that he accidentally touched me here and there. We broke into a nervous laughter when he accidentally nicked my butt with a paint brush. Eventually, we had made it through almost half of the dark forest, and I was starting to think that a dinner date with him tonight would actually be feasible.

“I think we’re out of green,” He said, gesturing at the pan.

I nodded and went back to the cabinet. But when I opened it, I noticed that the only cans of green paint left were on the top shelf.

He was next to me before I could even say anything. “I got this.” He said.

But I knew that one of them was open. “Okay, but wait.”

“No, don’t worry.” He said.

My eyes widened as he reached for the can. James threw his arms at it, stretching, but the can slipped off the shelf. I gasped as it came crashing down to the ground, the paint splattering all over him. He grimaced as in less than a second he was suddenly covered in a thick coat of green paint.

“Oh My God!” I knew that this was no laughing matter, but I also knew what James looked like, standing right in front of me with his fancy shirt ruined. His tall frame was almost covered in a coat of paint. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips, but I had to keep the laughter away.

“Fuck,” was the only thing he could say.

I could only last until he swiped a bit of green paint off of his face, letting it splatter to the ground. By then I burst into a fit of laughter. There was nothing I could do. “I’m so sorry,” I managed to say. “But you just look… so… cute.”

He started laughing with me, his laugh lines deepening.

“Let me uhm… I can get you something,” I said as I glanced around me. I saw a towel hanging on the edge of the industrial sink in the back corner of the room. I grabbed it and came back to him. But when I started to wipe his face with it, he scrunched his nose. I only smeared the paint more. “Oh God I’m making it worse.”

He chuckled, and then grabbed my hand. “Don’t worry. I don’t think it’s gonna work.”

I grimaced. “But you’re covered.”

He glanced around him. “Do you have a sink, or a shower? Or something?”

I blinked. “Yeah.”

I grabbed his arm and led him back through a short hallway. There was a little alcove with a window that overlooked a parking lot. It had a sink and a shower.

“Ah, perfect,” he said. He reached around me and turned it on.

My eyes widened. “But what about your- …”

Before I could finish my sentence, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. My eyes widened at the sight of his broad chest and his washboard abs. I could see the cut of his muscles as they disappeared into the rim of his jeans. I gulped, goosebumps forming on my skin at the sight of him. I knew I shouldn’t have been staring, but I didn’t know how not to. “Okay, I guess you could do that,” I muttered. I stepped back as he took off his pants too. He hung them over the sink so that they were out of the way of the water.

I sucked in a breath, but I looked before I could stop myself. My heart was in overdrive at the sight of him half naked. I could see his bulge hanging from the inside of his briefs. His legs were like two strong beings emerging from either side of his underpants. His thighs were hardy, strong, the muscles cut and visible under his tanned, even skin. I bit my lip as he faded under the water, scrunching up his nose. The streams of water washed over his face and body, taking the paint down with it. “Why do you have one of these anyway?” He asked, his eyes closed.

“To...” I cleared my throat. “To, uhm, wash things.” But I sounded just as breathless as I was.

I saw his lips fold into one of those irresistible crooked smiles. “Are you all right there Nance?” He asked.

I nodded. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I think you need a shower too,” he said, his voice having that mischievous lilt in it.

In all honesty, I wanted to join him. I wanted to do more than just join him. “A cold one maybe.”

I felt my nipples harden inside my leotard. There was no way he couldn’t see them.

“I think you’re dirty too.”

“Oh My God, stop!” I said with a deep breath.

He rubbed his hand against his torso, got a little paint that was still left on him, and then rubbed it on my face.

I let out a little screech, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Not a chance,” He said. “Now you have to join me.”

My eyes lingered on his bulge again. It was getting bigger. “If you insist…” I peeled off my jazz pants and leotard, putting them with his clothes. I was wearing nothing but my underwear when I slipped under the shower with him. I knew the water wasn’t any more than lukewarm, but it felt as hot as a rain-forest with him there. I was breathless even though my chest rose and fell with my heavy breaths. I watched him stare at me, taking in my neck, my collar bone, the curve of my chest, my breast, my legs. I almost jumped when he held my shoulder. I sighed as he leaned down and kissed me. I couldn’t think of anything but his lips on mine, our bodies touching, the sensation of skin on skin.

His hot breath fell on my neck, then he suddenly pushed me against the window, my wet hair slapping the glass. I gasped from the shock, but his hands were on my breasts, gently cupping and squeezing them. “Oh…” the word escaped from my lips.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. He paused, staring down at me.

I gazed up into those green eyes. Nothing could ever be wrong as long I was looking into them. “I want you.”

He chuckled, running his hands through my hair, grazing his fingers down my neck, my breasts. He touched me like he knew me, like my body was his. I loved the possession. It made me feel alive and free. I had never felt that way with a man before. “Is that a bad thing?” He whispered as he kissed me again.

“No.” I said, “except that you’re my brother’s best friend,” my eyes flickered shut as he clutched my waist, my hips and my ass. My toes curled under me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, desperately needing to hold on to something. I was rapidly losing control. I didn’t have a hope of stopping myself from kissing him back, from exploring that amazing body with my hands, from reaching down and feeling him, really feeling him, in my hand. God, he was so hard. He was pulsating as he grinded up against me.

“He doesn’t have to know about this, does he?” he growled.

Our breaths were ragged, forming an erotic symphony of desire as we played around with each other, teasing each other; his hands on my ass, my hand on his cock, his mouth, his lips, his tongue, everywhere. He took my face in both of his hands. “I want you. God, I want you so bad.” I felt him slip my panties off.

But that was it. That was as far as I had ever gone with a man before. I sucked in a breath as I tried to banish that thought from my mind. Did it matter? Did it really matter whether or not I happened to be a virgin? What was the worst that could happen? But my mind started churning. It ran round and round and round in circles until I couldn’t stop it. I just couldn’t. What if I wasn’t good enough for James? I had no clue what to do next and he’d figure that out.

“Stop!” I gasped.

He stepped back from me. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

I bent over, my hands on my knees. I was wet, gorging with desire from him, yet I could barely breathe, barely see straight. Was I okay? “Yeah, I just…”

He was a pace away from me, but I could see the genuine concern on his face. “Did I do something wrong?”

I shook my head. “No no… I just…. I thought I could do this, but actually, I can’t. I have to tell you something.”

He nodded. “What is it, Nancy? What do you have to tell me now?” His eyes were darkened with desire, and like he was slightly annoyed by the interruption.

As I gazed up at him in that little alcove, completely naked, surrounded in water and steam, somehow, I realized I had never wanted a man like this before. “Okay, well then. Here goes.” I took a deep breath, trying not to think about how embarrassed I was. “I’m a virgin.”

He froze, and even though his face didn’t change, I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was just doing his best to try to make sure that he didn’t give anything away.

I didn’t like that. “Say something.”

He gave me a smile, one that warmed my heart and made me feel comfort, in spite of it all. “Are you… saving yourself?” He finally asked.

My eyes widened. “God no!” I exclaimed without thinking. But then I realized something. “I mean, it’s not like that’s a bad thing.”

He sighed with relief. “No it’s just- …”

“It’s not that…”

“So, why then?”

I shrugged, feeling a little irritated for being on the spot, as if I was being asked to explain myself. “I don’t know. I guess I never had time?”

He let out a dark chuckle. “Oh come on, what are you secretly a superhero?”

I laughed. “No.”

“Everyone has time.”

I gave him a tight smile. “I went to UCLA on a dance scholarship. I had to keep my grades up, win competitions, train. I didn’t have time.”

“You never met anybody?” He asked.

I shrugged. “Well… I didn’t go to parties and I only hung out with people I danced with. I dunno… I guess the time got away from me.”

He cast his gaze down. “I can understand that.”

“You can?”

“You’re really focused on your craft. I respect that.”

I felt like I had to say something else, so I crossed the small distance between us, resting my hands on his torso. “I’m focused on you too.”

He rubbed my neck, his touch making me shudder. “You are?”

I nodded. “I just… It’s been too long now, you know? I don’t know what I’m gonna feel like when it finally happens so I just… I don’t want to do it with just anyone… anywhere. You know?”

He wrapped his arms around me. It already felt so natural, what we were doing. “I know.”

“I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

He lifted my chin, planting a kiss on my lips. “Then, I’ll wait with you.”

I wasn’t sure if he was just saying that to be polite, or if he actually meant it. As much as I knew about James, he was a player, like my brother. But in that moment, I chose not to think about that aspect of him.

We stood under that shower for a little while longer, enjoying each other’s company a little more. I listened to the thudding of his heart, realizing how absolutely, irrevocably infatuated I was with him. I couldn’t stop my own heart from pounding. But the deeper I felt for him, the deeper the anxiety got. This was a guy who had his whole life figured out and I had just told him that I completely gave up my social life for a dance career, one that I didn’t even have yet. I knew that I shouldn’t have been letting my failure affect me so much, but losing that loan filled me with a terror I couldn’t ignore. What if I never got the job I had been training my entire life for?

What if this was it? And what if that would never be good enough for someone like James?