Chapter 30

Sloan throttled down her thrusters as she approached the landing pad inside the palace walls, excited to tell Xan about everything that had happened in their time apart. The Arrow dropped Sloan off on its way to a peaceful outer planet colony not too far away that would serve as an excellent place to start over. Sloan knew her crew would be able to handle getting their families settled, and she was anxious to get back to Xan. The families had been grateful to Sloan once they’d realized they had been given their freedom. She was glad to have some breathing room.

The Arrow had felt decidedly more cramped with the additional passengers, who were constantly on the lookout for Sloan to give her any of the possessions they still had. She finally had to have Dev call a gathering and inform them all that it wasn’t needed and that they would be resettled with enough credits to start a life of their own.

Knowing she was doing something for them that no one had ever been able to do for her family was Sloan’s way of honoring her parents. In that short time away, Sloan had missed Xan. She hadn’t realized how quickly she’d become accustomed to sleeping in his arms and waking next to him every morning. It took only a few sleepless nights for Sloan to realize that she needed Xan in her life. She loved him.

She wondered how many people she would be able to help as Xan’s queen. As Sloan stepped off the shuttle landing pad, her steps faltered. His queen. She was going to be Xan’s queen. Sloan had no idea what being queen entailed, but she imagined she could forge her own path and help many people not only in that sector but also beyond. At least she hoped she could.

As she made her way through the palace, she saw they were preparing for yet another ball. Just great! Sloan swore they were having them weekly at this point. She headed to her quarters with Xan and nodded to the guards who outside the doors. There were a few more than usual outside, and Sloan picked up her pace, worried there had been some threat to Xan while she was away.

As she strode across the main living area, she saw the door to the office crack open. Hearing voices inside, Sloan stopped outside of the door. Once she recognized Venu’s voice, Sloan was more than happy to back away and head to their bedroom—until she heard what was being said. It was Xan speaking.

“She’s not fit to be here, and I should send her away. You want me to tell her that her missions have to end or it’s over for the two of us.” Sloan felt the dagger through her heart at that. She took the ring he had given her out of her pocket and stared at it. What had happened during her time away? What had happened to make him change his mind about her?

“Yes, I’m glad you finally understand,” Venu added. It was her. She’d turned him against her. Sloan was sure there was already a stable of suitable matches for Xan. Sloan heard a mumble that she couldn’t make out, but the next statement made her blood run ice cold.

“That she’s not fit to be here and will never be a part of this family or planet,” Xan growled.

“Do you know what that will do to her? No more raids on vessels, no more rescues? She will be bound to this planet and all the responsibilities that are required of a queen. Do you think that’s what she would want? What she can handle?”

Xan hung his head, and Sloan held her breath. “No.”

Tears burned Sloan’s eyes as she backed away from the office and headed toward the doors of her—Xan’s rooms. She left the rooms and wandered aimlessly around the palace for a while before coming to the gardens. She sat on a bench and allowed herself to completely break down. The tears clogged her throat to the point that Sloan thought she might drown. The weight of losing Xan’s love and her place at his side was a crushing blow so heavy it brought Sloan to her knees.

She didn’t know how long she stayed out there, but the cold air gave her goose bumps as the sun set. Sloan sat on the bench, watching the sun set, and thought of it as the setting of the sun on her life on this planet with Xan. Having no more tears to cry, Sloan dusted herself off and sought out the one person she knew she needed to speak with to settle things before she left.

Sloan knocked on the door and waited for the answer. One of Venu’s assistants came to the door.

“How may I help you, Captain Sloan?”

“I wish to speak with Venu.” The door was promptly closed in her face by the woman before Venu quickly reopened it.

“Sloan, please come in. I had no idea you were back already.”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Sloan grumbled. Not wanting to waste any time, Sloan swiveled to Venu.

“I’ve come to accept your offer. Five million credits, and I’ll leave the planet as soon as you can authorize my shuttle departure,” Sloan asserted. She seemed to catch Venu off guard as she stumbled into the chair in the living area.

“I . . . I’m shocked, to say the least,” Venu said

“Shocked but no doubt overjoyed at the prospect of not needing to have me around anymore,” Sloan seethed.

“May I ask why?”

“What do you care?” Sloan spat. “I’m leaving. You can marry off Xan to anyone you want, and they will rule the sector as the king and queen of your dreams.”

“I—” Venu attempted to speak but stopped at the glare that Sloan shot her.

“I’ll be leaving this evening, as soon as you authorize the departure. I’ll go to the landing pad shortly.”

Sloan sprinted through the palace, hoping to avoid seeing anyone. She darted into her—no—Xan’s rooms and made her way to the clothes room. Sloan walked in and stared at everything there. Everything she’d brought was already on the shuttle. She’d been so excited that she’d left it there to get to Xan as quickly as possible. Sinking slowly to the floor in the middle of the smaller room, Sloan’s sobs shook her shoulders and made her think she might drown with how many poured out of her.

She’d thought she’d finally found her place in the universe. A place she could call home with a man who was hers, and she was his. She tried to drive the emotions away. Her chest was so tight she felt it might crack. Xan enter the room before she could stop the flow of tears. He rushed to her and picked her up off the floor.

“Sloan, my D’Auriel, what is it? What’s happened?” Xan said, searching her face, then running his eyes over her body searching for an injury. Sloan only wished her injury were physical. She wiped her eyes and nose on her shirt and attempted to get off Xan’s lap. Xan held her tightly, not letting her move one bit as he crushed her to him. Sloan steeled her heart. He didn’t want her here anymore—at least not at his wife or his queen. How long before he tried to set her up as a mistress or, worse, asked her to leave. No, she needed to do this now before he could ask.

“Xan, please let me up.” She attempted to get up off Xan’s lap.

“Sloan, please tell me what has happened. Was it about your trip?” Xan said, holding her fast on his lap.

“Xan, please, I need to stand,” Sloan said, and Xan reluctantly released Sloan from his lap. He slowly unfolding his arms and helped her stand. Sloan drew away from his hold as soon as she could.

“There, I’m no longer holding you. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?”

Sloan paced, and the weight of her ring in her pocket felt heavier than ever. She had taken it off while working on one of the internal systems of the Arrow, and putting it back on felt wrong with the work she was doing. Putting it back on now was an impossibility. Sloan reached into her pocket and withdrew it.

“Why are you not wearing your ring?” Xan said, quietly. He stared at her, his brown knitted with concern, but she knew she had to push forward. Who was she kidding? Even if he truly cared about her, it was only a matter of time before he realized she was unfit to be his queen—hell anyone’s queen.

“I came back to give this to you, Xan.” She held the ring out in her palm.

“Sloan, I don’t understand. What do you mean?” he asked, standing abruptly, causing her to stumble back. He reached out to her, but she steadied herself and moved away from him. She held her hand out again with the ring in her palm.

“I can’t be your queen, Xan,” Sloan said, trying her best to remain stone-faced. This wouldn’t work if she allowed herself to break down. Xan stared at her as if she’d shot him through the stomach with a blaster. “I came back only to return this to you. I should be out there with my crew, helping those humans they found. I can’t give that up to be your queen. I don’t belong here. You need someone who you can have at your side who will help you as a ruler. As we’ve seen, I’m not that woman.”

“Sloan, I don’t care about any of that. I want you by my side. That is all I care about. We are both learning this together. We can continue to learn together,” he implored. His eyes held so much confusion and hurt, it took her breath away. Her heart raced pain slicing through her.

“I can’t stay here. I can’t stay here with you,” Sloan said, her voice breaking. She squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them, she wished she could take everything back.

His eyes were wide filled with emotion and he stood frozen in place. She couldn’t take it back. She stayed strong. He would realize this was for the best in due time.

“I can’t be with you anymore, Xan. I’m sorry.”

Xan stood frozen, completely unable to move. Sloan stepped forward and placed the ring on the settee in the clothes room before turning toward the door. She felt her heart break at that moment and didn’t know if she would ever be the same again.