Just one taste. I promised myself that I wouldn’t take it any further than that. Just one taste to prove to myself that I don’t really want her as badly as I think I do.

Except that one taste just set me completely on fire.

I’m trying to respect her boundaries, but fucking hell, fuck her boundaries. I want to tear her to pieces, feel her smooth skin against me, taste her dripping cunt. I want to see my cock buried in her throat and groan as I come inside her pretty little pussy. I want to see how her hips work, how she moans when I slap her ass.

Except it’s complicated as fuck, and I think she hates me, at least a little bit.

Sure, she wants me too. She wants me to fuck her, there’s no doubt in my mind. I can see it in her eyes. She stares at me like a piece of meat she’s starving for, and I absolutely love it. But she’s also afraid I’m going to steal Ryan away from her, right when she’s just starting to feel like a mother for real. I’m complicating an already hard situation, and I’m not sure she can handle it all.

I’m trying to be good. It’s fucked, but I’m trying.

I don’t stop thinking about that kiss, but I’m on my best behavior the next night. I don’t push it, don’t press her. I have dinner with them, put Ryan to bed, and I leave. I think she’s a little disappointed that I don’t finish what I started, but there’s time for that. I’m in no hurry, not yet at least.

Plus, I want her quivering with anticipation, barely able to control herself when I finally do take what I fucking want.

That feeling only builds over the days that follow. We fall into a simple routine, and it actually feels good. I come over for dinner, I help her put. Ryan down, and then I head back to my place. Sometimes I linger and we have a drink, and I listen to her talk about her day, and I tell her about mine if she asks. Mostly I sit there thinking about how badly I want to fuck her, and I’m pretty sure she’s thinking the same thing.

She has off that Saturday morning, so she invites me over for breakfast. I make pancakes, which Ryan seems to love, and Leah has a smile on her face the whole time.

“We should try something different,” I say to her.

“Oh yeah?” she asks. “Like what?”

“Well, there’s a park near here.” I look at Ryan. “What do you think? Want to ride the slide?”

He nods, his mouth full of pancakes, although I don’t think he would have answered anyway.

“What do you think?” I ask Leah.

She smiles at me. “if he wants to go, we’ll go.”

“Great.” I beam at her and she can’t help but smile back. We finish our breakfast and Leah gets Ryan dressed while I make some to-go coffees for the two of us. A few minutes later, we’re walking down the street like a normal family, and it actually seems… normal.

Which isn’t a word I would have thought to use to describe this situation, of course. Normally, the mafia doesn’t offer to buy your fucking kid from you. But that doesn’t matter to me. The sun’s out, Leah’s smiling, Ryan seems happy, and this is what I’ve always wanted. Some semblance of normal, even if that normal’s just a façade over the all kinds of fucked up lurking underneath.

The park is a couple blocks away. It’s actually fairly nice, and not too crowded. It’s around nine in the morning, which is probably why. There are a few other kids running around, and instantly Ryan wants to teeter off to join them.

“Take a break,” I say to Leah, following him. “I got this.’

She looks like she wants to argue, but I don’t listen. I just follow Ryan over to the swings and help him into the child swing, pushing him softly until he looks back at me, making a face. I grin and push him higher until he can’t stop laughing.

Leah sits off to the side, watching. I try not to think about her in this moment, and try just to enjoy time with my son. It’s hard not to imagine what she’s thinking, though, since her opinion of me matters so much. I have to keep reminding myself that the only things that matter is Ryan and his happiness.

I play with him like that for nearly an hour. Leah sits on a bench near some other moms, sipping her coffee. Eventually, a little girl around Ryan’s age offers to share her blocks and shovels, and so the two of them end up sitting in the wood chips a few feet away while I finally get to take a little break.

“You’re good to him,” Leah says after a few minutes of silence.

“I’m just making up for lost time.”

“Really though. I don’t know how you have the stamina to run around like that.’

I laugh softly. “How old do you think I am?”

She grins and shrugs. “Fifty. Maybe sixty.”

I pretend to be hurt. “You wound me.”

“Too bad, old man.’

I laugh and lean against her. She doesn’t move away. I take the coffee mug from her hand and take a sip. It’s still lukewarm, which surprises me, but I guess these insulated things have gotten better over the years.

Ryan and the little girl look so at peace. They’re not exactly playing together, more like playing side by side. The girl’s mom is a few benches over, thin and pale, staring at her phone. I have an eye on the two of them and they’re only ten feet away, but I can’t believe she’s not watching like a hawk. I guess I haven’t been around Ryan enough yet to really trust him not to hurt himself, even by accident.

“What are you thinking?” Leah asks me.

“Not much,” I say. “Just that this all feels weird.”

She shrugs me off. “What do you mean?”

“It feels normal. You know?”

I watch her as she sighs. “Yeah, I know. But none of this is normal, is it?”

“Not at all.” I grin at her. “Your cousins want to buy your other cousin’s kid that you adopted.”

“Yeah, completely fucked,” she agrees.

I move closer to her again. “But you like it a little bit, don’t you?”

“Not at all.” Her eyes lock with mine.

“Come on. You like the thrill. Maybe not the Gallos, but you like having me around. You like the tension.”

“Tension?” she asks, pretending to be innocent.

“That’s right. There’s a mountain of tension between us, and don’t pretend like you’re not feeling it.”

She pauses a second. “So what,” she says finally. “It doesn’t matter.’

“Of course it matters.” On impulse, I reach out and tip her chin toward me. “It always matters. You want me as much as I want you.”

“Maybe,” she says, and I lean in to kiss her.

Just as our lips touch, I feel something tug at my leg. In that moment, I want to kick it away and kiss Leah as deeply as I possibly can, taste every bit of her, luxuriate in her. Instead, I turn away and Ryan smiles up at me.

I slowly pull away from Leah. “Hi bud,” she says. “Are you done playing?”

He shrugs. The little girl got up and wandered over to her mom and is currently trying to climb into her mother’s lap.

“Come here,” Leah says, picking Ryan up and lifting him high into the air. Ryan laughs. “Want to swing?”

“Yes,” Ryan says.

We both stare at him. That’s the first time he’s said anything since.

“Come on then,” Leah says, and takes him over to the swings again.

This time, I watch, the coffee travel mug in my hand. I catch her looking at me, and I grin at her. I know what she’s thinking about now. She’s thinking about how that kiss would have felt, and how badly she wants more.

I feel a surge of impatience, but I push it down. I don’t need impatience right now. I have what I need. I just have to enjoy it.

“There you are.”

I start and half turn. I recognize that voice, but it’s the last thing I want to hear.

Piero and Enzo are leaning against the fence a few feet away, watching me.

“We were looking for you,” Enzo says.

“Why?” I ask. “I already told your brother to fuck off.”

Piero doesn’t react. Enzo laughs.

“The big boss wants to talk to you.”

I blink at him. “Your father?”

“That’s right,” he sneers. “Mario Gallo wants a word, and you better not fucking keep him waiting.”

I hesitate a second and look over at Leah. She’s staring at Enzo and Piero, fear clear in her expression. I nod at her and stand up.

“Let’s go,” I say to the men, and leave the peace of the park behind.