Brooke stirred and rolled onto her side. The sheets were wrapped around her so I didn’t get to drool over her perfect body like I had yesterday.

We’d been wrapped up in each other for the whole weekend. I knew I should probably get ready for work, but I thought I’d go in late today.

It was nearly eight. Usually I’d be up and ready to leave by eight thirty.

Aaron had already messaged about grabbing me coffee, but I told him I’d get some on the way in.

I was sitting behind the little desk by the bay window. It was where I kept my notebooks. I always had a notebook for everything. I bought them a stack at a time so I could replace each one as it ran out.

They were more like to-do lists. I hated diaries because I ended up wasting the days and wasting the book, so for me, pocket-sized notebooks were much better, more practical.

Today, I was using a brand-new notebook for a brand-new reason: I was going to write down all the information I’d learned in Brooke 101.

I’d thought up the idea the previous night. She’d have a field day when she saw it and would probably tease me with her cop or monk jokes.

I’d just written down the fiftieth thing I’d learned: she hated pumpkins too. I laughed at that just like when she’d said it to me early the day before when we went to lunch.

She rolled over onto her back and lifted her head to look at me.

“Mmmmm…” she moaned, reaching her hand out to me. “Come back to bed baby.”

I would in a second. I wanted to take her to breakfast in the old village. Then I’d head in to work at maybe ten or eleven.

“Give me a minute.” I wanted to think of five more things.

She hated walnuts and macadamias. I liked those nuts.

“Ryan, please tell me you aren’t working.” She sat up and pulled the sheet over her breasts.

“I’m not. I swear.” I chuckled.

She frowned and got up. She lowered herself into my lap and looked over the little notebook on the desk.

“This looks like work, like you’re taking detective notes or something.” She narrowed her gaze at me.

I pulled her closer to my chest. “It’s not. It’s just a thing, my notes, but not on work.”

She picked up the notebook and laughed when she opened it and saw the heading on the first page.

“Your notes on me.” She giggled.

I laughed too. “You’re a hard woman to keep up with, Brooke. I’ve decided I want to be the best student in the class.”

“You are the best student in the class.” She leaned in and kissed my forehead.

“I want to get an A+. I want to be at the top of the class.”

“At the top of, or on top?” She gave me a saucy smile.

“Both.”

She looked me over in that mischievous sexy way that I loved. “Do you have another notebook?”

“Several.”

“Okay Detective, that doesn’t surprise me.” She giggled. “Can I have one?”

I reached forward, opened the drawer, and pulled one from the pack. She smiled when I handed it to her and then she grabbed a pen.

On the front page she wrote:

I didn’t think I could have felt more touched.

“I, too, have decided I want to be top of and on top of your class.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I’ve been feeling like you know just a little more about me than I know about you. Forgive me, but I promise to catch up on my lessons.”

I cupped her face and kissed her. She allowed the sheet to fall from her breasts, and her nipples brushing against my bare skin turned me on.

It turned me on and I wanted her all over again, but…

But there was something else I wanted too.

I pulled back and gazed into the blue haze that filled hers.

“I want you to be mine while you’re here.” The words fell from my lips before I could even process what I was saying.

We hadn’t talked about us as a couple, and the night before had made me realize we kind of had to.

“Yours?”

“Mine.”

I wasn’t stupid. Brooke was from LA; she lived in LA, and she would go back there.

I also knew she was very career driven and focused. High-powered women like her didn’t have time for guys like me.

We were fooling around in her book, and in my book too.

Maybe…

I didn’t know. Right now I didn’t know, but I felt I should ask her.

“You look freaked out,” I stated, feeling my heart squeeze. If I’d just fucked things up, I would kick myself several times over.

“I’m not.” She shook her head slowly. “Six months…yours for six months, and you’ll be mine?”

I didn’t know if I imagined the sparkle in her eyes, but I was leaning toward saying I definitely saw it, and it was still there.

“Oh yes.” I was already hers, already there with my need for her every nanosecond of the day. I could have been her lap dog.

“So we belong to each other for six months. We just…”

“Have fun, lots and lots of…fun.”

“Lots of hot sexy fun.”

I nodded and imagined it all. My cock hardened at the images that popped into my mind, at the thoughts of all the things I wanted to do to her. “Definitely lots of hot sexy fun.”

“Can we really do that? It’s like no-strings-attached fun, just fun.” She drew her lips in thoughfully and concern washed over her face.

Emotion. I didn’t need to be told that she didn’t want emotion involved in what we had here. We liked each other and that was it.

It was clear that she’d placed an inpenatrable barrier up, one that I shouldn’t cross.

Getting to know her told me that. I sensed her take on emotion from that night when she told me about her parents. I understood. I think if it were me, I might feel the same way. There was something else too that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Something she hadn’t spoken about yet, but I guessed that she might have had her heart broken.

It was a look I’d seen in her eyes once that made me guess. A look of hurt and disappointment I recognized because sometimes I had that look too.

So here was me agreeing to classify this thing we had as no strings attached fun.

“So all there is, is fun.” I nodded. “No strings attached. No problems. Just think about it as a contract for fun. Not a lot can go wrong, right?” Even as I said it, I knew that wasn’t entirely true.

The shadow that crossed my heart told me something could definitely go wrong. I could go wrong because I was starting to feel for her, but it was a risk I wanted to take.

The lure of her was too strong to resist. I couldn’t think of anything else besides being with her and inside her.

This was my way of showing her how I felt.

“Nothing. It’s perfect.” Her eyes brightened with pleasure.

“So we do it?”

“I want to.” She ran her hands up my cheeks. “I get to have you all to myself for six months.”

“And I you.”

“Ryan 101: you have the best ideas.”

“Brooke 101: Ryan’s ideas are inspired by Brooke.”

She laughed and blushed. I loved it. I loved the soft rose color that filled her cheeks and spread down the sides of her neck.

She grinned. “How about I give you my notes at the end, when the course ends, so then you can grade them and tell me if I figured you out. You can give me a score.”

“Let’s both do it.”

“Sounds like a plan. Hey, we’re talking too much. More touching, commencing now.”

She guided my lips back to hers for a hot, hot kiss.

Like always, she wiped my brain clean of everything that wasn’t her.

I smiled to myself as I watched the cool evening breeze scatter the tops of the lilies in Sally’s garden.

Ryan liked lilies.

He knew I liked them, too. There were calla lilies in his garden, along with roses and tulips. It was nice to see them in full bloom for the summer.

Just like everything in Wilmington, it was beautiful.

Since being here, I’d adapted to the slow-paced way of life. It was a sustainable pace, unlike back in LA where it was all go, go, go. Some days I didn’t have a chance to take a breath, that pause most people had where they just got to stop and smell the roses or just do nothing.

My doing nothing involved going shopping or to the salon to get my hair done, and even those things were rushed. It was Vanessa who’d pointed all that out to me.

Noah had definitely hit the mark with her, and since I’d met her, there was hardly a week that went by that we didn’t either message or see each other briefly.

My best friend’s girlfriend had become my friend. The other day she’d taken one look at me and knew with certainty that there was a man in my life. Maybe it was the permanent glow in my cheeks or the way I kept zoning out when people spoke to me.

I couldn’t help it. The whole mindlessness thing was enhanced by the fact that I had the most gorgeous man ever all to myself for six months. Six whole months of him, the ridiculously hot single dad next door who could give me an orgasm just by looking at me.

It was crazy, and I was crazy to have become so obsessed with him, but I couldn’t help myself.

I took out my Ryan notebook and added number sixty to the left margin. Then I wrote: You like flowers that look beautiful when they bloom in the spring and have the same color scheme.

All the flowers in his garden were a soft pink. I loved it.

Sally came back out to the terrace where we’d been sitting. She carried a tray with a big jug of lemonade and some homemade cookies. She was looking heaps better than she had a few weeks ago.

She’d started this nutrition plan to build up her immunity, which had been knocked out by her chemo sessions. Those ended a few weeks ago and she said she was starting to feel more like her old self.

Everytime I saw her I marveled at how strong she was. This was the second bout of cancer she’d survived. It was amazing, but then there wasn’t anything about my childhood role model that hadn’t amazed me. This was just one more thing.

“Your skin is brighter than the sunshine, Missy.” She giggled and sat down opposite me, her eyes scanning over me with delight.

“Oh, it’s that new beauty cream I was telling you about.”

She laughed. “No cream on earth can make you look like that.” She gave me a pointed look with her eyes narrowed. “That look can only come from too much sex.”

I gasped then tried to bite back a smile. Sometimes I forgot the woman could totally cut through my bullshit.

“Hey, that’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is you telling me some magical cream can give me a permanent afterglow.”

We both laughed.

“I don’t have a permanent afterglow.”

She pulled a compact mirror from her purse and handed it to me. I looked at my reflection and saw truth for myself: my skin was off-the-charts glowing, glowing and bronze like I’d just come back from a vacation in some place hot. That was from spending too much time in the sun with Ryan on the beach. The glow was from him too.

“You forget I’ve seen your guy. Are you still calling each other neighbors?”

“No.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

We’d run into Ryan at the supermarket in town the other week. I’d practically leapt into his arms and was then stupid enough to try to downplay my excitement by calling him my neighbor.

Sally had answered with a sarcastic, “Really?” and we’d all laughed.

She hadn’t even waited until he left before she started asking how long we’d been going out. We were that transparent, and that had been a whole two weeks before he’d asked me to be his.

That day was spent with me telling her about Ryan and Aria.

“We talked about us staying together for the next six months while I’m here.”

“Oh wow. So it’s serious then?” Her eyes brightened and she looked eager to hear more.

“For six months.” I nodded and smiled like it was the best news ever.

But Sally narrowed her eyes again. “For six months? What happens after?”

“Nothing—that’s what makes it so good.” It was and I liked it. It meant we could enjoy each other without worrying about the usual crap that would ruin a good thing.

“Won’t you miss him?”

“Sure, but I have to go back to LA and life has to go on.” I didn’t know what it was, but something pinched my heart as I spoke.

“Oh right. Life goes on, just like that?” She raised her brows, then narrowed her eyes.

“Well, we always knew I’d only be here for eight months and nothing more would ever happen.”

“Does it help to keep telling yourself that?” She held my gaze and I didn’t know what to say.

I contemplated her question.

Was I telling myself that? I didn’t want my Ryan-filled bubble of passion to pop and entertain anything going wrong. I kind of was thinking that it would be over when I left.

“Sally, I’m not relationship girl.” I told her straight. “I’m fun. I have my career to think about. That is me.”

She sat back and looked me over, her eyes gentle and understanding.

“A beautiful, strong woman like you should definitely have a man in her life—permanently. I sincerely hope you haven’t followed my influence in that part of your life.”

Sally had never married. That definitely hadn’t escaped me and I got my drive from her influence, but my take on relationships was not from her. Not one bit.

“No, I have my own reasons.”

“What happened? Who broke your heart?”

It was scary how much this woman knew me. The saying ‘it takes one to know one’ popped into my mind and suddenly I felt a little uneasy.

I opned my mouth to speak but I didn’t know what to say. I’d pushed Craig to the back of my mind but sometimes he resurfaced.

“Is it your parents?” She now looked concerned.

“Maybe.”

“Is that a yes?” she chuckled.

“Well, I had a front row seat to their disaterous marriage and a mother who abandoned me. Not exactly the best role models on love.”

“Your parents are not you Brooke. What happened to you was awful but I didn’t figure you for a woman to not try something for herself just because that thing didn’t work out for someone else.” Now she looked me over with suspicion and it felt like she was staring straight into my soul.

Again she was right.

I tried love for myself even with my parents horrible marriage.

I brought my hands together and bit the inside of my lip. “There was a guy.”

“Uh huhh, now we’re getting to the bones. What happened with this guy?”

I looked ahead at the lilies again and sat back. Pulling in a deep breath I returned my focus to her and told her about Craig.

When I finished she rested her elbows on the table and templed her fingers.

Silence filled the space between us and I almost thought she wasn’t going to say anything.

“I get it now. The I’m not relationship girl mantra.” She stated. “But that guy was a complete asshole. All men aren’t like that.”

“I know, it’s just better this way. For me. I’m in a really good place right now with my career and I just want to focus on that.”

She laughed at me. “My dear friend. It’s so scary how much you remind me of me.”

“I’m very honoured that you think that. In fact that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.” I chuckled.

“Don’t be, I’m a fool.” Her words surprised me.

I blinked several times, not understanding. “Why would you say that?”

“Eduardo Vamiros.” The way her eyes brightened up as she spoke told me the owner of that name was important to her, special.

“Who is Eduardo Vamiros?” I asked offering a gentle smile.

“I met him when I was eighteen. He was a reporter for ESPN at the time. He lived in LA but moved back to Spain when a job came up. We dated for over a year and he asked me to marry him. Of course I said no because I had a career to focus on. That never stopped us from seeing each other, but then it came to a head and neither of us could continue because we each wanted different things. We broke up, got back together, and broke up again because I was still the problem.” Her eyes became glassy as she spoke.

I thought back to all I’d heard and read about her. There had never been any mention of him anywhere. I wouldn’t have missed something so significant. She must have done all she could to keep him out of the media.

“Anyway, just after I got sick, I saw him again. We’d been broken up for years. We’d each seen other people, but no one else came close to him for me—nobody. That man waited until I was at my worst, until I was bald and frail before he came to me and asked me to marry him again.”

My heart squeezed and swelled. “What did you say?” Foolishly, I scanned her fingers for a ring. It was foolish because I’d been here for over two months and hadn’t seen one.

“I told him if I made it through, I’d think about it. That was two years ago. I was about to give him an answer when I got sick again. I restored my health and got all ready to accept then I got sick and told him it would be best if we waited.”

“So he’s still waiting for an answer?”

She nodded slowly. “Brooke, the thing is, it’s not the fact that I made him wait—it’s the worry that I may get sick again and I might not make it back next time. I don’t want to put him through that. I never wanted to put him through that. The first times I said no were definitely idiotic, but after…I felt I loved him too much to have him watch me suffer the way I have, but the joke’s on me.”

“Why?” I understood exactly what she was saying because I would have done the same thing; I just didn’t understand why she thought the joke was on her.

“He doesn’t care about that. All that stuff doesn’t matter. What matters is being together in love, in sickness and in health. All those years wasted, all those years I focused on my career, and look at me. I’m grateful I did so much, but I feel like I have nothing. The joke’s on me because I’m damn certain I could have done all of that with my man right beside me. I could have excelled with him right next to me.”

Her words gripped me, gripped and grasped something inside my soul.

“Will you say yes?”

She nodded and smiled. “I’m going to see him for Christmas. We’ll stay in Spain until the marathon in January and then we’ll take it from there. If I decide to do the next Olympics then that will be it for me. I’ll retire.”

I nodded, liking that plan.

She reached out and covered my hands with hers. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Brooke. I think I can consider myself to be your mentor. It was you who christened me as such. Promise me you won’t become like me. If you meet someone give them a chance.”

Her words actually terrified me because that would mean opening my heart up again.

“Love is the only thing I can’t control. I could really do with not being hurt that way again. It’s hard to feel like you’re nothing.” That was it. Craig made me feel like nothing when he cheated on me. I’d worked hard to not feel that way after Mom left and Dad stepped up even in his own depressive state. It didn’t compensate though for the fact that she saw Jayce and I as nothing. Most people at least thought of what they would do about their kids if they split from their partners. She just left us all.

It was that feeling of nothingness, that was why I saw the two incidents as the same. It made me wish I’d taken more care of myself when I was with Craig , and not be so naïve.

“Brooke, everyone is different. That difference is what attracted you in the first place and what makes love wonderful. Learn from the past, but don’t allow it to be the only thing you use to shape your future, or else you could end of lonely, like me. Of course I may get to enjoy the rest of my life with Eddy, but when I look back all I see is wasted years. We could have had children, I could have had him to hold my hand when I was scared and thought I was going to die. I could have had him to love me. All my reasons for not having him in my life were just bullshit. I know our situations are different, but I don’t think there’s any harm in me telling you I want happiness for you.” She nodded and gave me a smile filled with adoration.

“Thank you.” I was grateful to hear that. She was right though. Our situations were different. However, I didn’t miss the similarities and I didn’t miss the sadness in her voice.

I didn’t want to look back on my life and see wasted years with me lonely, but the truth was I was too scared open my heart to the risk of it breaking again.

“You can’t control love to some extent, but what people forget is that you actually can. It’s what we do that counts. Better to love and lose than not love at all. Nothing is truer.”

My heart sparked and I started thinking about Ryan. The man I agreed to have a no strings attached relationship with.

Ryan was the kind of guy anyone could love.

Anyone?

Me.

I meant me.

He was the kind of guy I could love and that was a scary thought.