There was something in Nate’s scent. I noticed it the other times I’d seen him, but now, with him so close to me, it reminded me of the happiest moments in my childhood. Freshly cut grass, and playing on the beach, and running around screaming like an idiot, and just … fun. That’s what Nate smelled like to me, like the best moments of my life.

As I hovered over him and he looked up at me, the only thing that existed was his incredible scent, and his beautiful eyes, and his perfect lips. I lowered my head so that it was just inches from his, and I closed my eyes and inhaled, letting the essence of Nate wash over me.

When I opened my eyes again Nate was still looking at me. He didn’t say a word about how close we were, that our lips were almost touching. He just stared at me with those dazzling eyes. But I notice they were starting to get tinged with fear again.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do this?” I said, gently brushing my lips against his. But the minute our mouths touched, I couldn’t control myself any longer. I got on top of Nate, straddling his body, and I kissed him deeply.

I pressed my lips into his, parting my mouth and tasting him for the very first time. It was intoxicating, Nate’s scent and his own special flavor. Shock waves of pleasure shot to my core as my mouth lingered on his.

My tongue snaked around his as I explored a place I had wanted to for years. I could feel that Nate wanted it too as his muscles practically melted underneath me. He pushed his hands up into my hair and pulled me into him so that our kiss became even deeper.

I pressed my cock into his and felt how turned on he was too. Our bodies gyrated slowly together as the intense pleasure of the moment washed over us.

But then something changed. Nate pushed my chest and our lips parted. Then he turned his head away from me. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Why?” I asked, sitting up on the bed. “Did I do something wrong? I don’t understand, Nate. I kinda got the feeling … I mean, before you left … I thought maybe you were into me.”

Nate just stared at the wall for a long time. He looked like he wanted to say something but every time he started, something made him stop.

“Please tell me what’s going on, Nate.”

He finally turned his head back and looked at me, then swallowed hard. “You don’t understand, Brian. I was into you back then … I am into you now … I just …”

“What?” I blurted out. I was trying to be sensitive, but I couldn’t hold back any longer. I didn’t understand what had come between us. “I was your best friend, Nate. We told each other everything. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“I lost my leg in that accident, Brian.” Nate stared at me for a long time like he was expecting me to react. When I didn’t he continued. “Well, half of it anyway … and I have this prosthetic leg that they gave me in Costa Rica. It doesn’t fit very well and it makes it hard for me to go up and down stairs. It makes it hard to get up off the ground. It makes it hard to walk on the sand or on gravel or rocks or anything that’s not paved. And I couldn’t have gone into the water the other day, even if I wanted to. Not without taking my leg off.” Then he lowered his voice even more. “And I don’t want you to see it.”

“Oh, my God, Nate. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared, I guess.”

“Of what? We used to tell each other everything. Why should that be different now?”

“Because things are different now. I’m different. I was scared you wouldn’t want to be around someone who had a defect, or that you’d just feel sorry for me.”

“Don’t say that. You don’t have a defect, Nate. You’re the same person you were before. And I want to be around you. All the time.”

Nate looked back into my eyes, but he didn’t smile. He looked sad and tired. Like he’d been fighting something inside him for a long time. “I want to be around you too,” he said, his eyes glazing over with tears. “Fuck. I’m pathetic,” Nate said as he threw one of his arms over his eyes so I couldn’t see them.

“No, you’re not. You’re being way too hard on yourself.” I put my hand in Nate’s and pushed his arm off his face.” You’re an amazing person, Nate. I don’t know anyone who’s even a tenth as strong of a person as you are.”

I wanted more than anything in the world to see Nate smile again, and I hoped that kissing him would help. With my fingers interlaced with his, I lowered my lips again and brought them to his gently. I felt Nate’s body give into mine again. One of his legs curled against me and he pressed his chest into mine. I freed one of my hands and moved it down his chest until it was resting right on the button of his jeans.

“Do you want to do this?” I asked.

“Okay,” Nate whispered.