Chapter Twenty-One
Number 26 Henrietta Street, London,
April 3, 1815
When John wasn’t back by seven, Sophie assumed he and Banallt must have had to follow Drake and Miss George out of the city. In which event John might not be back until quite late. Possibly not even until tomorrow if they ended up obliged to spend a night on the road. She dined alone and afterward went to her room to finish copying out the documents John had given to her.
Her mind kept wandering off to Banallt, and how he’d gone after Miss George without hesitation. Not the act of the sort of villain she’d made him out to be all these years, was it? She gripped her pen, stilled by an awareness that hollowed out the pit of her stomach. She had never thought Banallt might refuse to go with John. The Banallt she’d known at Rider Hall might well have sat back in his chair and asked, in his familiar bored drawl, why he ought to bother rescuing a girl so obviously determined to ruin herself?
In fact, she had known in her heart he would go after Miss George. Without question. And if that were so, if she had really, honestly, known that to be true of him, why was she clinging to her conviction that he had not changed? Her hand shook and droplets of ink scattered over her page. Had she, all this time, been relying on the fact of his not having changed, in order to protect herself? If so, from what? What, precisely, were her feelings toward him? Please, she thought, let her not have left herself open to being hurt. The side of her hand brushed over the ink and smeared the page and her skin. Was it possible?
She knew Banallt. Better than anyone. He’d said as much himself. She’d seen him at his worst.
And yet.
Before her gaped a yawning abyss. If she fell into it, she would be vulnerable in exactly the way she’d been vulnerable when she’d married Tommy. She didn’t want to give anyone the power to crush her like that again. But if she believed that Banallt had changed? What then?
Impossible.
She didn’t have the strength to go through that again. She didn’t want Banallt to break her heart.
Sophie forced everything out of her head except the document she was copying. It was a speech John intended to give in the House. He liked to have her write his final copy because, he said, she always corrected his errors and managed to throw in an excellent phrase or two for him. Her writing was also easier to read, he claimed. The ink that had splattered on the page and smeared had ruined the sheet. She balled up the page and tossed it into the fire. With a sigh, she got out a clean sheet and began anew.
The house was quiet without John at home. By the time she finished copying, it was half past nine. If John and Banallt weren’t on their way home now, they must have stopped for the night. She washed up, braided her hair, and got into bed with a book.
At midnight, she admitted to herself she intended to read until she was certain John wasn’t coming home. She pulled the covers around her neck and settled in. With every unusual sound, she put down her book and listened for her brother coming up the stairs. No, that distant jingle wasn’t John at the mews. That creak was only the house settling. Later, it was rain on the windows and then a loose shutter on the house next door. At two o’clock, she woke with her chin pressed into the edge of her book. Her lamp was out. In her darkened room, she heard the front door open.
John, at last! But home so late. Had Banallt and John succeeded in stopping Drake? She hoped they’d managed to prevent Miss George from a disastrous marriage. She hurried out of bed, shoving her feet into her wool slippers and snatching her nightrobe from the chair. She lit another lamp and headed down the stairs, expecting to meet John, but he must still have been in the foyer for some reason. She heard voices downstairs.
“John?” she called. “Is that you?” As if it could be anyone else at this hour. She descended the rest of the stairs.
The voices stopped.
So did Sophie. Just a moment’s hesitation. Only a moment. She continued into the foyer. “John?”
The entrance was dark. Their butler was there, rousted from his sleep. He wore a long coat over his nightshirt, and he’d only partially succeeded in smoothing down his hair. Another man, too tall to be John, stood with him. She smelled wet wool. Drops of water plunked onto the floor.
“Banallt?” she said.
Banallt dropped his umbrella into the stand by the door. “Forgive me,” he said. He sounded tired and something else, too, but she could not fathom what that odd note was. “I’m aware it’s not a decent hour of the night,” he said. He meant that for the butler, who held out his hands for Banallt’s things. He shrugged off his dripping greatcoat and handed over his hat. Still silent, he stripped off his gloves and dropped them into his upturned hat. He rubbed his hands together.
She didn’t dare ask him anything directly. Not yet. Miss George’s potential ruin was not a subject to be discussed in front of the servants.
He addressed the butler. “Wake someone, please, and have my horse seen to. It’s too cold and wet to leave him outside.”
“My lord.” The butler nodded and reached for the pull that would summon a servant. Raindrops fell from Banallt’s coat onto the floor.
“I know it’s late,” Sophie said to the butler. “But would you bring tea to the front parlor?” She turned to Banallt. “My lord, I’m sure you’d like something hot to drink.”
“Yes.” He was a dark shape melting into the doorway. He stood there, a silent figure, for too long. “Thank you, Sophie.” There was a bass note in his words that trembled with some meaning she could not divine. She began to think they had not successfully intercepted Drake. “Tea is an excellent idea,” he said.
“John isn’t home yet,” she said to Banallt as the butler left. “Were you thinking he’d made it back before you?”
He walked toward her. Another servant came from downstairs, heading for the parlor, else, Sophie was certain, Banallt would have spoken, perhaps told her that Miss George had not been rescued after all. Instead, he took her arm, his expression completely unreadable.
In the parlor, the servant had relit the fire and was just putting flame to a lantern. The room was not bright. Nor was it dim, not with Sophie’s light added, for she’d brought her own lamp along with her. The servant darted a look at Banallt then at her. She ducked her head and fled.
“Miss George?” Sophie asked, sinking onto the sofa. The news must be bad indeed. Drake must have escaped them.
“She has been returned to her parents. Unharmed.” Drops of rain slid down his inky hair.
“Thank goodness.” She gestured to a chair, and as she did she saw the ink smears on the outside edge of her palm. As black as Banallt’s hair. “Do sit, Banallt. Please.”
“Sophie, I—”
Someone brought in tea, and she murmured a thank-you without registering whether the servant was male or female. The tray had two cups, a pot with the tea already added, a bowl of sugar, and some milk.
“What is it, Banallt?” She made his tea and held it out to him. He took it and stepped back.
“You were right about Drake,” he said. “He intended to compromise Miss George and force a marriage on her.”
“As we knew,” she said. “I’m glad to hear she’s safe. Did John return her to her parents? Is that why he’s not here yet?”
He spread his ungloved hand over his lower face. “Sophie—” He dropped his hand and took a sip of tea. He set the cup down too hard on the saucer so that it rattled. He put down both. “I am…” Words caught in his throat. “There’s—we caught up to them outside London. At an inn. They were undoubtedly headed for Scotland.”
“Oh my. Thank goodness you stopped them.”
He started to speak and then didn’t. Instead, he seemed to catch himself, and Sophie ruthlessly tamped down the emotion that roared at her. “Your brother found them first. We were searching the inn room by room—” He touched his tongue to his lower lip. “She might have been—matters could have been much worse for her. If your brother had been a moment later—”
She leaned forward. “Miss George is all right, isn’t she?”
“Sophie.” He held up a hand. “Please, Sophie. You must let me speak.” He held her eyes. She went still. Still as death. She knew. She knew and still she had to let him say the words. In the silence, the clock on the mantel ticked away the seconds. Her chest went numb and her arms, well, she wasn’t entirely certain they were connected to her body.
“You will forever associate me with this news,” he said softly. “And I—” He pressed his lips together. “Drake…had a pistol. I’m sorry, Sophie, but your brother was shot.”
“No,” she said. “That can’t be.” She didn’t move. She saw his lips part, though not much. Hardly at all. He didn’t speak. “Is John all right?”
He took a step toward her then stopped. “No,” he whispered. “He’s not.”
“Please be perfectly plain, Banallt.” She sat there, the scent of tea surrounding her and Banallt. With the sound of fire and the clock ticking and the patter of rain against the windows. She thought to herself that if she said nothing more, he wouldn’t, either, and she would never hear what would break her heart. “Is John alive?”
“I’m sorry, Sophie. No.” He took a step toward her but stopped short again. “He was dead when I got there. I heard the shot.” He drew a breath. “Five minutes sooner, and I might have—”
Her mouth opened, but no sound came. Her ears refused to hear; her voice was gone.
When Tommy died, there had been such a hubbub. His mother had heard the news first, so that by the time Sophie came downstairs to see what on earth was causing such a fuss, several women were bending over Mrs. Evans and fanning her. Half a dozen men were in the room, and Tommy’s body was stretched out on the couch. Someone had walked over and closed his eyes. Hardly anyone had noticed she was there.
But now, she’d heard Banallt’s words and didn’t know how to make sense of them. Her mind refused to understand. She swallowed hard and lifted her eyes to him. She wanted to shout that it must be his fault. That he ought to have been more careful. They should never have split up.
In two steps he was at her side. “I blame myself. And will for the rest of my life. I’d give anything if I’d found Drake first.” He sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. She let him fold his arms around her. “Shall I call a doctor, Sophie? Do you need anything? My God, you’re so pale.” She shook her head. He rubbed her hand between his. “Your hands are freezing.”
“I’m fine.”
“Sophie,” he whispered, sliding his arms around her. “Sophie, let me take your tears.”
Gently, slowly, she softened against him, fingers clutching his coat. Some sound disturbed them, brought her out of a world in which only she and Banallt lived. She lifted her head and saw the butler, housekeeper, and other servants crowded in the open doorway. The housekeeper had a blanket around her shoulders, one corner pressed to her eyes. They’d heard the news, then. They must have known before she did.
Banallt tightened his arms around her. “The culprit was apprehended and will receive his just deserts, I assure you of that.” He waited for reaction and got it, as a series of gasps and sobs and murmured prayers. “Mrs. Evans will need you all in the coming days.”
She was afraid to let herself feel. Mustn’t there be some mistake? John couldn’t be dead. He was in love.
“The poor master!” The housekeeper sobbed into the corner of her blanket.
“I hope you can be persuaded to stay,” he said to the staff. His arms tightened around Sophie’s shoulders. “Regardless, your wages will be paid to you through the end of the quarter.”
Sophie did a rapid calculation of the money she knew was on hand and thought that, if she was frugal, she would be able to pay their wages. But only just. And if her calculations were wrong? She would have to write. Selling a book would see her through a shortfall. But she would have to be very careful with her money.
“If Mrs. Evans is not available to give you a character,” Banallt continued, “by all means apply to me. I know you’ve given excellent service here.”
The housekeeper edged past the butler and came inside. She folded her blanket around Sophie’s shoulders. “We’ll stay,” she said. “Don’t worry yourself about that, milord. We know you’ll do right by us.”
“Thank you,” Sophie murmured.
“Never you mind, Mrs. Evans,” the housekeeper said. “Poor, poor dear. God rest your brother’s soul.”
Banallt pulled the blanket up higher, and Sophie reached up to hold it tight. The housekeeper bent a knee, and then she hurried out, shooing everyone away from the door and closing it softly after her.
After a time, Sophie lifted her head to him. She touched his cheek. His skin was cold. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Couldn’t there be some mistake?”
“No, Sophie.” His voice turned to a whisper halfway through. “I’m sorry, no.”
“It doesn’t feel real.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “Drake will be tried, I promise you. He’s been arrested.” He stroked her hair. “I saw to that. And to John’s body as well. I’ll take care of everything.”
Sophie started shaking. She couldn’t stop even with the fire going and the blanket around her shoulders. She had no one. John had been her only living relative, and now she was alone.
“You’ll tell me if there’s anything you need?” He put his hands on either side of her face and tilted her head. “Promise me,” he said. “Promise you’ll tell me.”
Lord help her, she kissed him. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, and after a moment, he kissed her back. And it wasn’t a kiss between friends. Her lips clung to his, salty, desperate. When he pulled away, she said, “Stay with me, Banallt. Please. Stay and make love to me. I can’t bear to be alone.”