Desiree
Shopping was far more fun than even I expected it to be. Elizabeth and Jax were cracking me up. We played around in the baby section for quite a while and we had far too much money in the carts. I stress “carts.” There were three. We hadn’t left yet and still needed more things: a few groceries, toiletries for multiple people, and whatever else we could think of on our way. It was a trip that was meant for fun, not for calculating money. Though that kind of trip was completely irresponsible, it’s good to have those occasionally. It’s amazing what it can do for a person’s mood.
There had been a large sum of money sitting in the bank for a long time. I couldn’t touch it because of the reason why it was there. My husband’s life insurance. Shopping for a new baby, however, and just having an overall good time seemed like a wonderful way to spend it. Caleb would have been proud of all of us.
Watching Jax hold little onesies up in hopes that Elizabeth would approve was precious. He threw all kinds of things in the cart and couldn’t seem to stop himself. They said they hadn’t begun shopping yet because they wanted to wait until further in the pregnancy. When I told them that I planned to pay for all of it, they wouldn’t allow it. I wasn’t surprised, so I had other plans.
I’d been taking photos of everything that they said they liked, but didn’t want to get right then. Including the bed, changing table, and paint colors. They were leaning toward an aqua blue and light gray for the colors, which I thought looked great. It wouldn’t take much for ol’ Auntie Desiree to break in and paint a nursery for the new little addition.
We were having so much fun heading up to the front of the store that I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking. Whenever a good conversation is to be had, I lose all track of everything else.
“Do you remember that time when Caleb got drunk and stole that guy’s goat?” Elizabeth asked, cracking up laughing.
I barked out a rather loud laugh, one that echoed down the aisles. I remembered it very well. I couldn’t get him under control. It was a friend’s party and he’d gotten wasted – too wasted. I’d forgotten all about it until then.
“Yes!” I said. “Oh, my God. That was terrible. He drank so much. I still have no idea where he got the leash from.”
“I know!” Elizabeth laughed again. We were both almost in tears. Jax seemed to be enjoying the stories, too.
“He put a leash on a goat?” Jax asked.
“Yes!” I said. I turned around, walking backwards as I spoke. “He dove over the electric fence. He landed flat on his face.”
“The sound he made when he landed, though,” Elizabeth said. “I’ll never forget it.”
I laughed again. “Me neither. He got back up and promptly fell, like, three more times, but he pulled a neon pink and green leash out of his jacket pocket. It was maybe forty degrees outside. He broke into the barn and put a leash on it and walked it back to the fence. The goat was not happy, but he went with it.”
“Did he get the goat over the fence?” Jax asked.
I nodded, still walking backwards, checking over my shoulder ever once in a while.
“He did! He kept calling for me. He was so drunk he could hardly say my name. He handed it to me over the fence and then he dove over again. The sound he made that time was pretty similar to the first time. I remember laughing so hard at him that I fell to my knees, goat and all. It was hilarious! That night Elizabeth and I returned the goat safely back to the barn. Only we used the gate. You know, like a normal person would do.”
About that time my heel hit an empty pallet that I hadn’t spotted while looking over my shoulder. That was all it took for me to fall totally backwards. I’m sure it was hilarious watching me flail about as I stumbled backwards, but lucky for me, I didn’t actually hit the ground.
“Whoa. That floor probably won’t feel very good on your behind.”
Strong arms were wrapped around me, helping me stand. I turned to thank him, only I was very quickly stunned to silence. It was Staff Sergeant Aiden Walsh. I’d only met him a couple of times during my marriage, but the one that I remembered most was the last time that I saw him. He’d made an incredible speech at Caleb’s funeral, but I hadn’t seen him since. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask him, so many things that I wanted to know, but he had vanished.
He stared at me a moment, his eyes locked on mine and his jaw slightly open.
“Hi,” he said finally. “Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah,” I replied, straightening myself and my clothes. “Thanks for the rescue.”
I was both happy and sad to see him. With everything that I wanted to know, I had hope that I could talk to him about it now, but there was quite a bit of irritation that he could just disappear like that after the funeral. Caleb loved him like a brother. I kind of expected him to behave the way Elizabeth had done. She lingered for days in an attempt to try to help me get things back together. Instead, he just left. I remember wondering to myself just how good of friends they actually were, though I still find it noble the way he stood guard at the head of Caleb’s casket for hours before it was carried out for him to be finally laid to rest.
“No problem,” he said. “Funny running into you.”
“It’s not that funny. I live here,” I said, my voice coming off a bit harsher than what I’d meant for it to. “Well… not here… at the store. In town, though. I live in town.”
I sounded like an idiot.
“Anyway,” I continued. “I’m from here. You aren’t. So, if anything, it’s funny seeing you here.” I paused for a moment, watching him fight back a small smile. “What are you doing here?”
“Actually, I came to see you,” he said. “It’s been a year and I wanted to see how you’d been. I’d planned this completely different, but I suppose fate had another plan.”
“Yeah. I guess so,” I said flatly. “I’m actually not sure how I feel about this right now. What exactly did you have planned?”
“I wanted to get some things and get settled into my hotel before coming to see you in the morning. I figured that we could catch up. Maybe I could take you to lunch.”
“Okay,” I said. “I don’t know about the lunch bit, but you can come by in the morning. This is a bit of a surprise. I’m not sure if I want to be excited to see you or if I want to yell at you for leaving like you did after the funeral.”
He sighed, lowering his head a bit.
“I know. I completely deserve that. I promise that I will explain everything in the morning when you’ve had time to adjust and feel a bit more comfortable. I have a lot of explaining to do. More than you know, actually,” he said.
“Give me your number,” Elizabeth said, stepping forward to do what she’d always done: save me. “We are staying with her this week. I’ll let you know when you can come by. If you don’t have the address, I’ll text it to you.”
He looked at me once more before giving a small smile to Elizabeth.
“Thank you,” he said. “I’d appreciate that.”
They exchanged numbers and I walked away. I wasn’t exactly sure what was said, but I just couldn’t be near him anymore at that moment. I refused to allow myself to sink back to the pit I’d been happily free from for most of the day. I decided that I would sort this out by morning and put it to rest. I would meet with him, we would talk, and I would ask my questions. Plus, I wanted to know why he was there. Guilt, perhaps. I wasn’t quite certain, but I figured I’d find out in the morning.