Aiden
My eyes slowly fluttered open. I looked to my left to see Desiree standing there, staring at me with an expression that I couldn’t quite read. Anger? Sadness? Pity? Some strange combination of all three?
“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” she asked.
Anger. It was anger.
I tried to speak, but my deep voice came out a rasped whisper. I cleared my throat and tried again. My chest felt like it had been ripped apart. I did my best to push it aside before speaking.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re in the hospital,” she said.
Her eyes appeared to be wet. Had she been crying?
“You took a bullet to the chest. Your right lung to be more specific. You were in surgery for hours. They repaired it and you’ll be fine, but you still took a bullet to the chest. You just had to be the hero. Just like he always did. Just like Caleb. The hero for everyone else and damn whatever happens to you as a result.”
I couldn’t tell if this anger was truly aimed at me, or if she was having displaced emotions and actually yelling at Caleb. Either way, I made a promise to her. I told her she could yell at me all that she wanted, if that was what she needed. I’d meant it.
“You could have died. You saved a lot of people, but you could have died. I’m not sure if I want to punch you or hug you,” she said.
“I’d prefer the last option out of the two, but I’m not too picky of a guy,” I said.
She rolled her eyes. “This isn’t funny.”
“I thought it was pretty funny,” Jax said from across the room.
I turned and saw him and Elizabeth sitting in chairs against the far wall.
“Ugh! You are both the same. This easily could have been you lying here, too, Jax. Both of you are idiots, but you especially.” That last bit had been directed right at me.
Something about her emotion touched me. I’d had a lot of people worry over me throughout the years. Guys in my unit coming to visit me when I’d been injured or checking in on me when there had been a gun fight. It was rational worry. It was the kind of worry that you get for a co-worker when you know they are very sick or had even been in a car accident. Her worry seemed deeper.
Looking at Elizabeth and seeing her bloodshot eyes, the lashes clinging together from tears, I realized that I was cared about. It was something more than just casual worry. I barely knew those people. Desiree and I knew each other very well through Caleb, even though we’d never spent any real time together until recently.
Regardless of the person who connected us, they didn’t know me at all, yet they’d welcomed me into their lives enough to care that much about what happened to me. If I lived, died, or some horrible in between.
I fought back a few tears of my own as the weight of the situation pressed down upon me. I cleared my throat before speaking again, pain echoing throughout my chest.
“I knew something bad was happening,” I said. “If I’d let you guys continue walking like normal, you’d have walked directly into that mess, right out in the open for him to see. Granted, I had no idea what was happening, but I could see ahead that something was going on. I’d heard the cops yelling over everyone. After years of live fire, one would think that I’d have lost my hearing. I’m one of the lucky few that hadn’t, which came in handy today.”
“Had that gone any different, you’d have died. A few inches to the left and he’d have gotten your heart and you’d be dead,” Desiree said.
I sighed, trying hard to ignore the tightness and pain of breathing. Looking at her, I saw what Caleb had. At that moment, I saw the fire that he did. The passion. The capacity for love, caring, and her strong will. I wished that I hadn’t seen it. More than anything, I wished that I could un-see it, but I couldn’t. She was beautiful. Honest and beautiful.
“I swore an oath to my best friend in the world, my brother, to protect you. I felt that you were in danger, but you weren’t the only one. My first instinct was to get you to safety, but then I thought about Elizabeth. She is carrying an entire life inside of her. A tiny, innocent, fragile life. All of that, tucked away in her little stomach.
“Jax is going to be a father for the first time. What the hell kind of man would I be if I allowed anything to happen to my dead best friend’s widow, an amazing pregnant woman, or an unborn baby’s good father? Good people are hard to find. I wasn’t about to lose any of you to a psycho with a grudge against a wife that may or may not have been unfaithful.”
Desiree stared at me, her eyes wide as a tear fell down each cheek. She sniffed a couple of times before squeezing my hand. The warmth of her skin against mine brought me more comfort than I wanted to admit.
Please forgive me, brother, I thought to myself. I wanted to push her away, but with her current state, it would do more harm to her than good. I swallowed the guilt of my borderline traitorous attraction and allowed her to seek the comfort that she needed. There was more to my guilt than just Caleb. It was her, too. There were still things that she didn’t know, things I had yet to tell her. I wondered if I could and what would happen if I did. It had been so long, I didn’t think that I could.
“I – I don’t know what to say to that,” she said, using her free hand to wipe away her tears.
“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t want you to feel even the least bit bad that I’m lying here. I failed you and let you go through an entire year of darkness because I couldn’t be a man. That is something I will never allow to happen again. I will honor that oath and I will protect you for as long as it takes for you to heal, or until someone comes along that strikes your interest that I can pass that job along to. Even then, I will always be there.”
She smiled. It was faint, but it was there. She couldn’t speak, but I could tell that my message got through. Thank God, because that took far more energy and will to say than I had to spare, but I was so happy that I found the strength to say it.
The pain in my chest was becoming unbearable because of all the talking. My throat was sore from what I could only assume was intubation and I was exhausted. My mind swam with everything happening. I couldn’t allow myself to be close to her. It was impossible. It was wrong.
“Mr. Walsh,” an unfamiliar voice said.
“Yes,” I answered, turning to see a woman enter the room that was in a white lab coat. My vision was too fuzzy to read the name plate.
“I’m Doctor Anderson,” she said. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m doing just fine, ma’am,” I replied. “Thank you.”
She smiled. “You were shot in the chest, Staff Sergeant. So, how about you tell me how you’re actually feeling.”
I blinked a few times as I tried to focus. The tone of her voice and the way she addressed my rank was very familiar. As my vision cleared a bit, I saw the way that she stood.
“You’re military,” I said.
She nodded. “You and I share the same rank. Well, did. I left as soon as my contract was up when I became a mom. So, about that pain…”
I smiled. “Hurts like hell, ma’am.”
“Hmm. Strange. One would think you had major surgery or something,” she said.
I smiled. Military women were always feisty. I liked her. She was funny.
“I like her,” Desiree said. “She takes your crap and gives it right back to you.”
“Hey,” I said. “I haven’t even told her my best jokes, yet.”
“I’m sure they are extremely not hilarious,” the doc said, smiling after her jab. “But returning to the situation at hand, I’d like to say on behalf of all the potential patients that I did not have to see today because of you, thank you. Security footage was aired on TV and is all over the internet. The nurses were quite smitten with you, so they’ve been watching the videos online on their phones. Very impressive. The US Army is lucky to have you.”
“Was,” I said, doing my best to adjust in bed. “I am grateful for everything it’s given me, but I’m tired of getting shot at. I think I’m going to follow in your footsteps as soon as my contract is up.”
“You’re going to quit and become a mom, huh?” she asked.
I laughed, immediately regretting that decision. I heard the other three in the room laughing as well.
“See? I’m funnier than you,” Doctor Anderson said. “I’ll order you something else for your pain. As long as you continue to progress, then you will probably be released in twenty-four to forty-eight hours. You’re going to be getting up to walk soon. That will help keep the risk of pneumonia down, as does the antibiotic that I’m putting you on. I’m prescribing pain killers as well. Your friend over here is a nurse. She will be keeping an eye on you for me and will keep me updated.
“I can’t have my star patient having any issues. Some general rules for you: no lifting anything over ten pounds, get used to people helping you the next couple of weeks, no driving while on the meds because I’m giving you the good ones, and no taking them improperly and getting hooked on them. If you do take them improperly, I’ll treat you for that, too. By treat you, I mean I’ll beat you.”
Damn, she was funny. I felt like I was in a military hospital, not a civilian one. I preferred docs that were straight to the point over the ones that sugarcoated everything.
“Any questions?” she asked.
“I didn’t get that last part. The part where you said the whole thing. Can you repeat that for me?” I said.
She sighed and smiled. “Get some rest. I’m sure you’re happy to have them here, but I’m kicking everyone out. Later on this evening, you have some other visitors stopping by.”
“Oh?” I asked. “Who’s that?”
“Several of the police officers that were there today helped take care of you. They were very grateful for your help and wanted to stop by to thank you personally,” she replied. “No more talking. Your eyes crinkle in the corners every time you do, which tells me you’re in a lot of pain. Get some rest. A nurse will be in here momentarily to make that much easier for you.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” I said.
Desiree squeezed my hand before heading out of the room. Elizabeth patted my blanketed foot on the way out and Jax just smiled and nodded. I didn’t think any of them wanted to argue with Doc McFeisty Britches.