Chapter 10
The First Hot Embers
Katelyn
Ice pack pressed to her cheek, the numbing cold easing some of the pain, Katelyn relaxed into the soft black leather couch.
His house, Kian’s house, looked so different than hers, though the layout was essentially the same. She felt off kilter there, like being in his private domain was more intimate than it should have been.
She was very aware of his masculine presence long before the sound of the front door opening and closing and his footsteps announced that he was back. She slowly swiveled her head around and took all of him in. Her savior.
He hesitated in the kitchen, staring at her, eyes wide like she didn’t belong, like he didn’t expect to find her still there. He smiled softly, something she had the impression he didn’t do often and she relaxed slightly. She shifted the ice pack away from her cheek, up to the welt on her forehead.
Kian moved then, slowly, as if he didn’t want to alarm her. He sat down heavily on the opposite end of the couch. It was a large piece of furniture. It sat perched across from the matching loveseat and a square, espresso coffee table.
He stared at her, his dark eyes burning into her, searching, seeking answers. She finally heaved a sigh. “I suppose you want some answers.”
“No.” He shook his head in denial, but his head said something different. He was assessing her, trying to figure out what was on the inside. “I will tell you that you should go down to the police station and file a restraining order. And get a dog.”
“A dog?” She stared at him in surprise. “Why a dog?”
“So there’s someone to protect you.”
She didn’t mean for it to happen, but tears welled up in her eyes again. Her throat closed up painfully and the bridge of her nose burned. She blinked and those tears spilled over hot down her cheeks, especially in the numbed spots where the ice pack had been.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, embarrassed. She hadn’t cried much. Not since she left Chicago. “I just want to be free of him,” she mumbled when Kian didn’t make a move to speak. She didn’t know why, but she felt she could talk to him. It was more than what he’d done for her. She sensed something inside of him, something tender that no one else could see. A well of hurt and a well of pain, but underneath that overflowing spring, under the tattoos and the beard and long hair, the leather and the bike, she sensed that he was soft. That he had a past far worse than hers. “I want to move on with my life and stop reliving the past. I just… he showed up here and I feel like I’m right back there. Right back to where I left off. He’s undone a year of progress. A year of trying to move forward and pick up the pieces.”
Kian leaned forward. He scrubbed a hand over his face, starting at his forehead and ending at his beard. He smoothed down the ends of the long, dark hairs and gave a shuddering sigh. “I know. Believe me I know. You can’t let him win. You have to push forward. He’s not going to come back around. If you remember anything, remember his face in the moment right before I hauled him out the door. Remember what it looked like when he was the weak one. Guys like him, that’s all they are inside. Pathetic. They know it and they take it out on anyone they can. You have to be strong and keep pushing forward.”
“I know,” Katelyn whispered. “I know that- it’s just… I let him do this to me for so long, before I finally got out. It’s so hard, feeling like this again.”
“Why was he back here, after a year?”
“It was so stupid. I was so stupid. He said he wanted to talk and I knew it was coming. I left while he was at work one day. Packed up and pretty much fled. He knew where I was. I had to hire a lawyer for the divorce. I’m shocked he even signed the papers. I threatened to expose him if he didn’t. I knew that he’d come back eventually, for his closure. I just never thought that he’d…. that he’d be like this again. He was always mean, nasty in that horrible way. He said the worst things, but he only ever hit me if he was drunk.”
“You should never have met with him alone.”
“I know. I know that, but he wouldn’t have met me anywhere else. I just wanted to get it over with. I’ve been moving forward this whole time, but he’s always been there, hovering in the background. I wanted to put him behind me once and for all. I was going to be more prepared. Record it all so that if I went to the police they’d believe me. I… I didn’t think he’d be waiting for me when I got home. It makes sense though. He probably sat out there all day just to catch me off guard.”
“Of course. Guys like him, they feed off fear and intimidation. You saw what he was like when the tables were turned.”
“Yes.” She gave a tremulous smile. It made her feel… she didn’t like the way it made her feel when she recalled John’s bloody face. She felt satisfied. Like justice had been served to him in the only way that he deserved. “I’m just so thankful it’s over.” A fresh wash of tears started down her cheeks. “I feel like maybe I can finally move on. At least when these bruises heal… I- how did you know something was going on? Why did you come in there?”
Kian’s lips turned up in a wry smile and she realized how much she liked them when he did that. Smiled. They were fuller then, even more alluring. Stop it. This is so not the time or place. Never- that was the time and place.
“These walls are thinner than you think. I could hear the yelling and then I heard this dull thud and I just knew something was wrong. I have- uh- experience dealing with this kind of thing. It didn’t take more than that to set me off.”
“I’m glad you came when you did. He was choking me before he threw me into the wall. Before he hit me. God, I thought he was going to kill me.”
Kian’s lips thinned right out. He blinked hard, those dark eyes assessing her once again, but there was compassion in their depths. “You never, ever should have been there alone.”
“Yes. We’ve gone over that.”
“He’s gone now. We’ve been over that too. I know he’ll never come back. If he does, you let me know.”
“It won’t. John is a coward underneath it all. He was this charming, amazing man when I met him. I should have known better. I should have known it was too good to be true, but I was young and stupid. So incredibly stupid. It took me much too long to leave.”
She couldn’t stop the tears. It was like the floodgates burst open. They were hot, so very hot. It was almost a relief to finally cry, to let those tears spill over, to take all the pain that was wrapped up inside of herself and let it out.
Unfortunately doing it in front of him was completely humiliating. She set the melting, sweating ice pack down on the couch and used both hands to wipe her tears. She gasped when her fingers grazed the bruise on her cheek. He was right. It was bad. She didn’t have to look at it in the mirror to imagine what it looked like. She knew from experience it was already a dark purple smudge, blooming over her pale skin.
“I’m sorry,” she said huskily. “I’m a mess.”
Through her watery tears she realized that Kian shifted on the couch. He moved closer, dangerously close. She was all too aware of his massive, imposing presence, of the gentle burn in his dark eyes, of the set of his shoulders, his strong hands, hands he must have washed since they were clean.
Her eyes flickered to his mouth, to the lips she was so utterly fascinated by. He had a beautiful mouth, she decided. Those lips parted, just enough to let a hiss of breath slide through.
His hands, those huge, masculine hands, hands that had protected her, saved her, reached out and took hers. He was gentle, barley touching her, as though she would shatter at his touch. As though she would react badly, push him away. Those fingers were so very warm, the latent strength flowing through her, solidifying her in a way that was both shocking and startlingly intimate.
Her mind refused to process what was happening. A wicked heat pulsed through her veins. Her heart pumped hard, sending blood to every nerve and cell at an alarming rate. A reckless sense of abandon ripped through her as his hands left hers and slowly, so very gently, cupped her chin. Her entire jaw fit in his palm.
He tipped her face as he moved in, the heat of his body bracing, alarming, terrifying and so very, wonderfully, alive. Hard desire unfurled in her belly. She felt, despite her appearance, very much like a woman. And she was painfully aware that he was all hard muscle and powerful masculinity.
His face lowered, his mouth gentle, enticing. A shiver tore through her when the warmth of his mouth touched hers. He was gentle, so very sweet and tender. He tasted her lightly, caressing her with his tongue in a gesture that was bold and shockingly strange. He was delicious, all raw male and just below that, a hint of spearmint.
Heat built wildly, rapidly, sweeping through her limbs, her stomach. He parted her lips with his tongue, the building force in the very being of her growing. The lightning bolts of desire and hard arousal parted her lips. She opened her mouth and gave him access. His tongue found hers and stroked it hard, demanding, nothing slow about it, but entirely sensual.
She lost herself in him, in his strength, in the taste of him, the dusky arousal that grew, the intoxicating heat that consumed every single one of her senses. It wasn’t right, but it was pure and utter bliss. It didn’t make sense, but she didn’t want it to. No, in that moment, she wanted to just be. She wanted to feel like a woman again, like she meant something to someone. She wanted to hold and be held, to open herself up and let him save her all over again. She wanted to cut her heart open and bleed out all her loneliness and sadness and fear, fear that John had ruined her for this ever again. For trust and for pleasure. She wanted him there, inside her heart. She wanted this memory, this time, this regret that would replace all her past regrets.
She deepened the kiss, leaning into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and tangling them through his long, dark hair. It was soft. So much softer than it had a right to be.
No, it wasn’t right, but she was going to do it anyway. She was going to open up her heart and when it was empty, fill it up with him, sew him up inside of herself and keep moving forward, to a place where one day she might truly find happiness.