Chapter 20

Gigi

I expect him to release me, to climb off of the bed and refuse to talk, and as the silence drags on, I imagine him telling me to mind my fucking business and never ask him about her again. Then, to my surprise he sighs, his body settling in closer to mine, heavier into the mattress, his fingers twisting until our hands are joined, and he begins.

“Isabella Roze, with a Z, not an S,” he explains, “Montoya is everything I never knew I wanted.”

Did he rub our combined hands over my lower belly on purpose? It’s not the first time tonight he’s touched me there in a way so loving it’s almost out of character for the man I hardly know.

I shiver at the soft press of his lips on my bare shoulder.

“Gabriela Montoya showed up in the middle of my sophomore year. There was only one high school in Kaufman, Texas at the time. All of the rich kids, all of the poor kids, and every kid in between were thrown together. Her dad was some executive for a nearby refinery, so if there was an opportunity for her to go somewhere else, I’m certain her upper-class parents would’ve made sure she did.”

I let my eyes close, loving the soothing tone of his voice, but I hang onto every word, hurting as he begins to speak of another woman, but too curious to tell him to stop.

“She showed up in clothes that cost more than my rusty old pickup truck with a gleam in her eye that drew in every boy, made every teenage cock rock solid at first glance. I wasn’t immune. I fantasized about her for days before I built up the courage to approach her.”

“What did she look like?” I need to compare her to me, to see if he’s attracted to traits we may share.

“Long, rich brown hair.” He kisses the back of my head, and I stiffen. He either doesn’t notice my unease, or he ignores it. “The thickest, most luscious ass I’d ever lain eyes on. Eyes so dark, you couldn’t tell the iris from the pupil.”

“She sounds lovely,” I mutter.

He releases my hand and grips my thigh.

“Be careful, Georgia, your jealousy turns me on.”

I huff as he continues.

“She was new and exotic. Colombian. She came from San Antonio, the big city compared to our quiet little town. I wanted her the second I saw her. Needed her the second I smelled the sun on her skin.”

“Did you love her?” Sounds a lot like fucking love to me.

“At sixteen? I sure as hell thought I did but looking back I realize there were things I loved about her. I loved her body, the way she moved with sensual grace whether she was dancing to David Allan Coe or Shakira. I loved the way my hands would tangle into her thick hair as if once I touched her, she refused to let me go. I loved the way she welcomed a terrified virgin boy into her body and taught me things no seventeen-year-old girl should’ve ever known in the first place.”

I whimper, his words and the sensual way he described his young lust turning me on.

“You got her pregnant.”

“Almost immediately,” he says with a quick chuckle, his hand grazing low on my stomach again. “I didn’t ask if she was on the pill.”

“Seems to be a problem for you.”

He pinches the lips of my pussy until I moan with need. “Can I finish my story?”

I nod, unable to speak while he has my clit clamped between his thumb and forefinger.

“All the girls at school talked about birth control. The first time I slid inside of her, a latex barrier was the last thing on my mind. Every time after, I couldn’t imagine anything dulling the sensation, so I didn’t bother. Figured she’d tell me if there was a problem. That problem,” he sighs and releases my clit. I hiss when the blood flow returns in the form of a throbbing pulse. “Came a couple months after we started dating. I was ready to quit school, go to work, do anything and everything for her and our child.”

“What did you do?”

“I made plans. We made plans. When she started to show and her parents got suspicious enough to ask, we sat down and told them. She’d hidden it too long for an abortion. We’d talked about it in passing, but it wasn’t something either of us wanted. We were a family. We were going to raise our child in a happy home and give it everything that it could ever want.”

He swallows, I’m certain remembering the time when life was easier. When he faced things with pride and determination without being bogged down with the reality that only maturity and age can bring, or in my case growing up too fast.

“Her dad was livid. Her mother cried the whole time, upset that her Catholic soul may never recover. I offered everything I had, which amounted to less than a complete sophomore education and a shitty truck that didn’t crank more days than it actually did. I should’ve been a junior, but I have a late birthday, and my parents made me repeat kindergarten. I couldn’t offer her that extra year of education.

“Her dad pointed all of that out of course. Convinced Gabby that a life with me would be lived in poverty because he sure as hell wasn’t being financially responsible for some poor ass white boy. He gave her an ultimatum, and I’ve never seen a girl who claims to be in love make a decision so fast.”

I don’t miss the tremble in his now unsteady hand or the deep breaths he pulls in to calm his anger.

“She chose the money, the life I now know I never would’ve been able to give her. She chose the support of her family even to the detriment of our relationship. I knew she’d love that baby, that her parents wouldn’t fault a child for the sins her teenage parents committed. I was told to take a step back, to leave her alone.”

His laugh is bitter, filled with years of something akin to remorse or regret.

“I couldn’t though. I convinced my parents to let me drop out of high school. I was a year behind on paper, but I was smart enough to pass my GED. They let me join the Marine Corps at seventeen. I was in Miramar, California when my parents called to tell me that the letters I’d been sending to Gabby had all been returned to their house, unopened. They’d promised me a relationship with my child. I never would’ve walked away, joined the Corps if I knew they were going to pull some shit like they did. When they drove by, the place was deserted by the Montoya’s and another family was already moving in.”

“That’s so fucking shitty,” I whisper even though he knows it and doesn’t need it spoken out loud.

“Yeah,” he agrees.

“How did you locate her?”

He tugs the sheet over us when I shiver, half burning up from his heat at my back, but frigid where the air conditioner is drifting over my shoulders and chest.

“Her dad was easy enough to track. They didn’t live a secret life, just a nomadic one because of his line of work. I saw Izzy for the first time when she was four. She was doing her best to kick around a soccer ball on a field. Her long brown hair flowed behind her, and when her eyes turned in my direction, they were my eyes, and I never knew love like I found on a children’s soccer field that day. She’s everything wonderful about Gabby and me. None of the bad, none of the struggle. She’s pure and beautiful, and now she’s nearly a woman, and that scares the fuck out of me.”

I clasp his hand again in mine.

“So Gabby let you have a relationship with her?”

“Hardly,” he spits. “She’d gotten married to some pompous asshole. She made threats. I made threats. Hers were backed up by a team of attorneys. There’s not much you can do with a military salary, and her family, her new husband, knew that. The only faith I had in life that day was the saddened look on the nanny’s face when she carried my daughter away.”

“You just let her walk away with Izzy?” I can’t help the disdain in my voice. What parent just lets someone steal their child?

“That day? Yes. I let Gabby think she won. I let her new husband keep the smug smile on his face as he walked out, hand gripping the curve of Gabby’s ass tight, the same ass I used to obsess over every night before her parents ripped my life apart. The crazy thing is, all I felt was anger. I wasn’t bitter he got the girl. I was upset she’d so easily tossed me away. My only concern was the brown-haired, green-eyed girl who was just strapped into a car seat in the back of a nanny’s minivan.

“I sought out that nanny, having a buddy run the license plate. I explained that I needed a relationship with my child, and she agreed. It started with pictures at first. The letters, written in the heavy hand of a child, came next. On her fourteenth birthday, Gabby got her a cell phone for her birthday. She’d written and given me her number. We texted at first. Her stepdad isn’t as bad as I made him out to be. She’s happy, but I’m one thing he would never budge on. She learned early on that my name, the subject of her actual paternity isn’t on the table in any shape or form.”

“You’ve only seen her in person once?”

“We video chat, and we’ve met a few times. She’s on a protective leash and isn’t allowed much leeway, but we find time to see each other.”

“That sucks,” I say honestly.

“She wants to move in with me when she graduates, and God, do I want that. The ability to actually get to know my daughter has been all I can think about since she mentioned it about a year ago. It’s why I served seventeen years rather than staying in for twenty. It’s why I was so fucking excited about the job offer in Farmington. She’s currently living in Flagstaff but wants to attend college in Albuquerque. It seemed like the best fit.”

“Sounds like you have it all figured out.” I don’t even know how I should feel right now. His separation from his daughter is shitty, but at the same time, I wonder if all of his energy is going to be used to the point he wouldn’t have any for the baby I’m carrying. It’s selfish and greedy, but I can’t lie and pretend it’s not part of the deciding factor in the direction my own life is going.

“I did. It’s all fucked now.”

I tense, anger so close to boiling over my vision starts to blur.

“Shadow and Kid instructed me that I’m to head back to Farmington and pack my shit. Cerberus can’t trust a man who can’t be honest with their President.”

“My dad is an asshole.”

“He’s really not, Gigi. He’s trustworthy, protective, and he’s doing what he thinks is best to protect his daughter. I promised him I’d never touch you again, and here I lay with my cock between my stomach and your back, my fingers drifting over this perfect little cunt.” He drives his words home by slicking his thumb over my clit. “He can’t trust me because I can’t trust myself when it comes to you.”

“What will you d-do?” I stammer, moaning my displeasure when he stops.

“Pack my shit. I have other job offers. They aren’t Cerberus, more private security, boring shit. Mainly in the LA and San Fran area. It’s almost twice as far away from Izzy and even further when she goes to college. But,” he says as he turns me in his arms until my sore breasts are pushing against the t-shirt he never bothered to take off. “My next step depends on yours.”