Chapter Twelve

As soon as Dylan appeared in the doorway of Seth’s bedroom, he came to an abrupt stop. His jaw dropped.

Vargas glanced to Seth but couldn’t read the look on his face. He wasn’t sure if there was anything about the moment that would upset him. All he knew for sure was that Seth wasn’t making eye contact with him, and he hated that.

Dylan lifted his chin in greeting. “Hey.”

Seth didn’t respond. His breathing was as labored as a minute ago.

Vargas offered a reply to Dylan. “How’s it going?”

“Good.” Dylan pointedly looked his way with raised brows. “You?”

“We’re good.”

“I see that.”

“How’s your cousin?”

“Fine. His car’s totaled, but he wasn’t hurt bad.” He directed his next words to Seth. “Figured I’d head home early and see how you were doing. Aaron and Toby are here too. Thought we could play some Quelldon Quest.”

Seth still didn’t speak, just nodded. It was reminiscent of his interactions—or lack thereof—months earlier.

Dylan tilted his head, indicating down the hall. “Looks like Charlie got sick in the kitchen. Thought maybe he ate something he shouldn’t have.”

That got a reaction. Seth slid his legs off the bed and reached for his cane where it was perched against the nightstand. “I’ll go check on him.” He stood, then turned back to the bed and held out Vargas’s dress shirt. He still wouldn’t meet his stare.

Vargas grabbed the other end of the shirt and gave a tug before Seth let go. “Hey.”

Seth lifted his gaze. There was panic and fear in those brown eyes.

Vargas threw him a smile, feeling like a dope, but what did he care? No way was he going to stand by and let Seth feel bad about this, or think he should regret anything that happened. “We’ll finish our talk later, okay?”

“Okay.” Seth searched Vargas’s eyes for a moment, then returned the grin and said again, “Okay.” He let go of the shirt and headed for the door, slipping past Dylan on the way out.

As Vargas got off the bed and donned his dress shirt and tie, Dylan folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorjamb, the confusion and surprise evident on his face. To his credit, he didn’t ask anything or offer an opinion.

Neither said a word as they made their way to the living room. Vargas greeted Toby and Aaron and then sat on the couch, waiting for Toby to say something about what they might’ve walked in on. But he also offered nothing as he sat in a chair facing the couch. Aaron remained standing at the edge of the room.

A couple of years ago, when Vargas had first interviewed Aaron for membership at the club, he thought the young man was too shy and reserved for the Haven. He liked his younger patrons to be a little more outgoing and flirty. That made the regulars happy, but there’d just been something about Aaron’s sweetness that he’d been unable to turn away.

So in the end, Aaron had been a member when Prescott targeted him the same as he did with Seth and Dylan. Just another layer of guilt that Vargas couldn’t evade when it came to what Prescott had done in his club.

Seth entered the room, Charlie nowhere in sight.

Vargas asked, “He okay?”

“He seems fine. I’ll keep an eye on him. I put him in my room for now.” That was for Toby’s benefit. He’d been attacked by a dog when he was a kid. An incident that left him completely uncomfortable around Charlie or any dog.

Seth moved to the couch and sat beside Vargas, lying his hands awkwardly over his thighs.

Dylan dropped to sit at Seth’s other side. “How was your night?”

“Good.” Seth pointed at Vargas. “I didn’t stay by myself.”

“I’m glad.”

Just then Vargas’s phone vibrated on the coffee table, signaling a text message. He’d left the phone there the night before and had forgotten all about it.

Toby pointed to the cell. “It’s been going off like that since we got here.”

Vargas checked the display. He’d missed two calls and several text messages. He scanned the latter. “I need to return these calls and check in at the club.”

“Okay.” Seth indicated the other guys. “We’re going to hang out and play video games anyway.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be by to pick you and Charlie up tomorrow.” He stood and gave a nod in goodbye to the others.

Dylan got up like he planned to walk him out.

Seth’s total focus was locked on his own knees. Vargas hated the thought of leaving him like this. What if he wanted—needed—to talk about what had happened in his bedroom and what he felt about it?

Vargas wanted to stay right there on the couch with him, wanted to protect him from any further pain or heartache.

He placed a hand under Seth’s chin. With the slightest pressure, he silently asked him to look his way. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Seth must’ve seen something he liked in Vargas’s face. His entire body relaxed, and he smiled up at him. “I’m great.” There was a lightness visible in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

Vargas swept the pad of his thumb across Seth’s lower lip. “Me too.” He repeated the action with his thumb. “Call me if you need anything. Even if it’s just to talk.”

“I will.”

“Anytime at all.”

Seth nodded. “I promise.” He gave Vargas the same look he’d given him when he traced his mouth between kisses. Then Seth licked his lower lip, and that about did Vargas in. He had to force himself to drop his hand and step away.

Dylan’s gaze narrowed as Vargas passed by him, but he made no move to follow him to the door.

Once Vargas was out in the hall, he braced himself against the wall beside the door and dropped his head back to the plastered surface. Seth was just starting to really open up to him about what he’d lived through when he’d been abducted. More than anything, Vargas didn’t want to wreck that. He didn’t want to take advantage or hurt him in any way.

But there was no doubt about it now. Vargas may not have ever experienced it before with anyone else in his life, but he finally understood what he felt for Seth.

And more importantly, he now knew without a doubt what Seth felt for him. It was evident in every line of those sketches, every way Seth looked at him, every touch.

How could he walk away from that?

* * * * *

That afternoon Vargas stepped into the headquarters of Simon Security Systems. He’d called ahead so the receptionist led him right in. He entered the office and offered a nod in hello. “Simon.”

From behind the executive desk, Walter Simon took one look at his friend, got up, and rounded the desk. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to check on how our project’s going.”

Walter gave him a skeptical glare, then pointed to an empty chair. “Sit.” He didn’t wait for Vargas to move before returning to his own seat. With his arms folded across his chest, he leveled another silent, steady gaze on him. That, combined with the charcoal suit and dark tie Walter wore, gave the moment an interrogation feel Vargas was completely uncomfortable with. Walter was still a detective, no matter how long ago he’d left the force.

Vargas took a seat.

Despite the suit, Walter appeared frazzled and disheveled, like he’d been missing a few night’s sleep. His dark hair, with the hint of gray, didn’t have its usual sleek appearance, and there were dark patches under his eyes.

In spite of all that, Walter continued with that focused, scrutinizing stare. He was good at this game. Which meant there was no way Vargas was getting out of talking about what was really on his mind.

Time to distract. “How’s Kevin?”

“Good.” Walter shot a sideways glance to the cell phone perched on his desk. He and Kevin had been living together for nearly two years and were in a perpetual state of bliss. Vargas couldn’t imagine anything had changed between them.

“So why the anxiety?”

Walter sat back and rolled his eyes. “I hate when you do that.”

“You should talk. So what’s up?”

“I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours.”

Vargas snorted out a laugh. “Are we really going to resort to that?”

“I’m thinking it’s the only way to get you to spill.”

“All right, fine. You first. What’s wrong with Kevin?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Not yet anyway.”

“Sounds ominous.”

“He’s just working on a new story that’s got me a little nervous. Several people have died in home fires recently. The fire investigator ruled them as accidents, but Kevin has a source who says the fires were arson and there’s a conspiracy to cover that up. He’s out digging into it today.”

“And you’re worried the wrong person will find out he’s looking into it.”

“Something like that.”

“Then you know what you have to do.”

Walter’s brows rose. “Oh yeah?”

“Get out of this office, out of that suit, and go help him. You know you miss investigating shit. Even if he’s not a cop, Kevin’s a damn good reporter, and the two of you make a great team.”

Walter eyed him for another moment, then shifted his focus to the phone again. A grin formed. “You’re right. On all counts.”

“Of course I am.” Vargas held his arms out wide. “I don’t know why the hell you don’t come to me and ask me what to do. I should be making all your decisions for you.”

“Sure. Because you’re so good with your own life.”

Vargas ignored that and changed the conversation once more. “So have your sources come up with anything?”

“Nice try. But I won’t forget you haven’t shared yet.” Walter grew serious as he leaned forward and propped his elbows on the desk. “Here’s what I know so far. Ever since Prescott got to the jail, he’s been held in a cell alone. He eats, shits, and sleeps there. He gets time outside with the other inmates, but he’s cordoned off from them and under heavy guard. He showers alone. Doesn’t talk to anyone. The only visitor he’s had is his lawyer. No mail. No trips to the infirmary. If he’s planning some kind of escape, he has to have someone helping him from the outside, and it was likely prearranged before he went in.”

“Could it be a guard?”

“That’s a possibility. But my source in the jail says most of the ones who’ve had contact with him have worked there for years. They’re trustworthy. The newer guards start off covering the front desk and the cameras.”

“Anyone can be bought.”

“True. I’ll stay at it. I’ve got a couple of guards I trust keeping an eye out for anything abnormal.”

“Thanks.”

“I don’t want that son of a bitch out any more than you do.”

Of course he didn’t. Not after the way Prescott had targeted Kevin.

Walter added, “If I had to guess, I think he’s placing all his bets on this appeal working out in his favor. From what the guards have been hearing, he talks like it’s a done deal and he’ll be released soon. I think that’s what he was going on about in the courtroom that day.”

“That’s why we need to know who’s pushing for the appeal, who’s financing the attorney. They might be able to put an end to the case before it’s too late. And they might know if Prescott is planning something else.”

“You still got people on his parents?”

Vargas nodded. “Yeah.”

“But you don’t think they’re the ones paying for the lawyer?”

“No. They didn’t seem like they were interested in helping him. They cut him off financially years ago. I got the impression they want everyone, especially their rich friends and business associates, to forget he was ever their son.”

“Seems like a waste of money to focus on them, then.”

“Maybe. Or maybe they’re clever at hiding what they’re really up to. Because I can’t figure out who else it could be. Who else would want to help that bastard?”

“You’re investing a lot of cash on a big-ass maybe.” Walter leaned back in his chair. “I know a couple of years ago the club was doing well, but from what I’ve been hearing—”

Cutting him off, Vargas stood and marched to the far corner of the room. A round conference table held a single flat-screen monitor. He couldn’t ignore the frustration and anxiety etched on his reflection in the blank screen.

A minute later Walter spoke again, his voice taking on a more thoughtful tone. “Here’s what I know for certain.”

Vargas faced him.

“It’s long past time you stop blaming—”

“Don’t.” He turned away again.

“You’ve got to let yourself off the hook. Just because those men were taken from your club does not mean you’re responsible.”

Vargas spun back around. “The fuck it doesn’t. That asshole snuck inside my club and busted holes in the walls so he could hide there, attack men, and abduct them, all while I slept peacefully in my apartment on the second floor not hearing a goddamn thing. I could’ve stopped him before he’d taken anyone if I’d just been more observant.” He ran an unsteady hand through his hair. “Fuck that. I met with that son of a bitch. I liked him and fast-tracked his approval. I gave him access to every one of those men. How am I not responsible?” He whirled away and returned his focus to the monitor. Only he didn’t see the blank screen or his reflection.

He saw Seth lying on a table in the club’s dining room, his lifeless body covered in blood, the gold key chain with Charlie’s picture clutched in his hand.

“Vargas.” Walter’s voice startled him. He hadn’t heard him leave his chair or move in closer. “That man was in your club because he was trying to fuck with your business, trying to get you to sell the place. He was putting on a show for you. There was a lot riding on him getting you to believe he was trustworthy. If anyone’s to blame for his access to the club, it’s that cop Henderson. He was the one who hired Prescott to fool you and get inside.”

He was right about that. Henderson, and the man’s father, wanted to strong-arm Vargas into selling the club so their business associates could use the building—and the tunnels underneath—to traffic illegal goods. At the time, they had to be putting enormous pressure on Prescott to make that deal happen or else face the consequences of some rather unscrupulous people.

Walter didn’t wait for Vargas to respond. “What’s going on with you? If anything, you’ve gotten worse lately, and I’m thinking it’s about more than those six men and what happened to them.”

Vargas shook his head, but the words left him uncensored and unbridled, his voice trembling as much as his hands. “I’m seriously fucking things up.”

“How?”

“I think…” He hesitated, then made his way back across the room to where he’d been seated earlier. He sank into the chair with a heavy sigh. “I might’ve made a huge mistake.”

Walter came to stand facing him. “With Seth?”

“Tell me I’m doing the right thing.”

“In what way?”

“Having him come stay with me.”

“Oh.” Walter settled back against the edge of the desk and waited a beat before speaking again. “I don’t think this is about him coming to the Haven. This is about your feelings for him.”

Vargas gaped at him in surprise. “How did you know?”

“I’ve got eyes. I’ve seen you two together.”

“It’s that obvious?”

“To anyone who’s looking at you? Yeah.”

Vargas let out another exaggerated exhale. For some bizarre reason, he could never keep his reactions from Walter. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“No one usually does.”

“Did you try to fight it with Kevin?”

“Hell, yeah. The age difference bothered me. A lot. But the alternative, giving him up…” He shook his head. “That wasn’t even an option. Not in the end.”

“Yeah.” Vargas let his eyes fall shut, and he was right back to their kiss in the bedroom that morning. He could feel Seth’s arms tightening around him, Seth’s body brushing against him.

But it wasn’t just the physical stuff. He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like if he didn’t have Seth in his everyday life, if he couldn’t listen to him, talk to him, laugh with him.

“You know, the age difference isn’t what bothers me. He just doesn’t need someone like me.”

“What? A good guy?”

“The Haven, the fact that I live there… I’d be a constant reminder of what happened to him. I just want to help him heal, so he can really live again, so he can learn to let someone else in.” That hurt like hell just to say.

“Seems to me he is living. He’s come a long way in the last two years. Hell, the last year. He was still barely talking to anyone then. Only you.”

Vargas got up again and paced the room behind the chair. “He’s been through so much.” He stopped before a bookcase filled with high-tech equipment. The lack of books on the shelves only reminded him of the ones Seth was always reading. “His own fucking parents didn’t even come see him in the hospital. Did you know that? His dad is some big shot back in their hometown, owns a slew of factories and businesses. The townspeople treat him like he’s a fucking king.” He scoffed. “He’s a disgusting shit who let his own son become homeless rather than accept who he was. I called their house after I found Seth in the club. I thought, considering what had happened to him, that he’d almost died, that maybe—” He swallowed down the anger and disgust.

“But after I finished telling his dad about the kidnapping and the beating, all he wanted to know was if his son was still a fag. I said he was gay, and his dad hung up on me. Can you imagine turning your back on your kid like that? When he needs you the most?” He faced Walter. “He deserves to be happy.”

“Why can’t he be that with you? What if the two of you together makes him happy for the rest of his life?”

God, that sounded good. Vargas sighed again and returned to the chair.

Walter leaned forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “If you came here hoping I’d tell you that you’d be making a mistake if you pursued things with Seth, then you’re talking to the wrong man. I learned with Kevin that there’s no fighting something that intense, something that right.” His hand slid from Vargas’s shoulder, and he sat back. “Or maybe that’s exactly why you came to see me. Because you knew I’d tell you what you really want to hear.”

“Which is?”

“That if you love him, really love him, don’t for a second think of letting him go. Because you might just be the best thing that has ever come into his life. And he might be the same for you.”

He already knew Seth was that for him. If he walked away from that, what kind of a shithead did that make him? “I don’t want to fuck up his life.”

“The monster who abducted him already did that. Seems to me you’re the one who’s helping him get past it, helping him have a future.”

“That’s why I can’t just do whatever I want. Not when it comes to him.”

Walter didn’t say anything more.

“God.” Vargas sank back and scrubbed both hands over his face. “I’m in over my head here.” He dropped his arms and stared at his palms. “I feel like I’ve got his entire future in my hands, and if I make one wrong move, I could mess everything up for him.”

“He’s a grown man. He can make his own decisions. You need to trust that he knows when he’s ready to be with someone again. I’ve seen how he is with you. He’s beyond infatuated. He’s halfway in love with you.”

Vargas let his eyes fall shut, and he was right back to that morning in Seth’s bed. “He’s already all the way there. I’m just not sure he wants to admit it to himself yet. Or to me.”

“Well, there you go. And if you walk away from that, then you’re a damn fool.”

Vargas stared his friend down. “You’re right.” He was a fool. An idiot. He would never hurt Seth. Not intentionally. He loved him. He did. And if Seth was feeling anything close to the same, then they could figure everything else out together.

He wanted Seth to know he’d never be alone again. No matter what he had left to deal with and work through, Vargas would be there for it all. He’d be the worst kind of asshole for keeping that truth from Seth any longer. For not showing Seth exactly what he meant to him.

“Shit, you’re right about everything.”

A grin hit Walter’s lips. “If you could just remember that fact, these conversations of ours would be a lot easier and go a lot faster.” He stood. “Now, when you realize I’m also right about the fact that everything—the bad days, shitty days, good days, the sex, everything—is better when you get to be with the person you love, you can bring me a bottle of scotch to say thanks.”

Vargas laughed, letting some of the tension fade. He was done fighting this.

Because if Walter’s words were true, then Seth deserved to have all that, to be with the person he loved.