Chapter 43
Abraham
I rolled over and punched the pillow beneath my head before tucking it under my neck and relaxing into the goose down. Seconds later, that position wasn’t comfortable anymore, and I turned onto my side. Soon, that wasn’t acceptable either, and I rolled onto my back.
It was no use.
I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight.
Not after the fight I’d had with El.
I opened my eyes and stared at my ceiling, appreciating the way the posts of my bed looked like barren tree branches stretching upward. Shadows splayed across my walls from the moon outside my windows, and I wished for the hundredth time that she was here.
With a huff, I shook my head.
It was better that she left. I wouldn’t keep her anywhere she didn’t want to be, and she’d made it pretty clear she didn’t want to be with me.
I rolled onto my side again, my face smashing into the pillow. Taking a deep breath, I moaned softly in my quiet room. It still smelled like her. It was like no matter what I did, she was there. A steady presence, a smell, a memory. I couldn’t shake her.
Not that I wanted to.
I knew exactly who and what El was from the moment I laid eyes on her. When she’d opened her big, beautiful brown eyes, I’d known I was a goner. Even injured and barely conscious, she’d put up a fight. It was the first thing I’d admired about her.
That spitfire attitude had only intensified by the time she woke up here in my bed.
I groaned again as I imagined her here between my sheets. The way her soft, milky skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. The way her thick blonde hair would form a sort of halo around her face when she laid on my pillow. The way my hands itched to touch her every second of every day.
I would never get enough of her. I knew that to the core of my being.
She was meant for me, and I was meant for her. Nothing could come between us.
Except, of course, her.
She ran.
Again.
And even though I was sick of chasing her, I knew I’d do it until the day I died. There was no other choice for me.
Tonight, had been perfect. We’d laughed, ate, danced, loved. It was everything I could have ever imagined.
And El had been stunning.
I’m not talking about the way she looked, although she was as gorgeous as ever. I mean the way she effortlessly greeted our pack and friends with the gracefulness of a born leader. She’d stood by my side like she’d always been there, and I couldn’t have been happier.
And then, suddenly everything had changed.
She’d come out from the bathroom like an avenging angel. So beautiful and so furious, it took me a minute to even understand what she was mad about.
Even when I figured it out, I was still confused.
Countless questions had spun through my mind as she raged against me.
Why was this coming up now?
Where was this coming from?
Had someone planted these ideas in her head?
And the hardest question of all: Why didn’t she trust me?
I know we’d only known each other a few short weeks, but didn’t she know me better by now? Didn’t she know that I’d always do what was best for her? Put her needs above anyone else’s?
And why did this alpha position scare her so much?
It was clear to me, and I’m sure anyone else who saw her in action, that she was a born leader. She was fierce, kind, loving, protective. All the things that make a great alpha.
But she’d balked.
And then, she had this wild idea that the pack wouldn’t accept her as their alpha. Just the thought made my blood boil.
Sure, bitten wolves weren’t exactly at the top of the food chain in werewolf society, but our pack wasn’t like that. Most of these people were misfits. Wolves that didn’t fit into the correct mold in their old packs who’d come here to live freely.
It might take a period of adjustment, but I had no doubt everyone would come around.
But who had planted that idea in her head to begin with?
I hadn’t noticed anyone go into the lodge after her because I’d watched her the whole way. I’d even caught Wyatt’s eye and made sure he was standing nearby just in case she needed him.
So, what had happened?
The questions were endless, and I knew there was no way I was getting any sleep tonight.
A soft set of footsteps sounded out in the hall and stopped right in front of my door. I listened as whoever it was opened my outer door and padded across the room to my bedroom door.
I sat halfway up in bed, assuming it was another one of my sisters come to berate me for the fight with El.
I’d tried to explain to them that I hadn’t done anything wrong, but they wouldn’t hear it. I was outnumbered, and I’d finally given up and gone to bed.
When my door creaked open and a small head poked through, I thought it might be Evey, but upon closer inspection, I realized it was Peyton.
I closed my eyes briefly before sitting up.
“What are you doing in here?” I asked, my voice gruff in the quiet room.
Peyton took a step through the door and closed it behind her. She wrapped an arm around her waist, almost as if she were trying to make herself seem smaller and unassuming, but I knew better.
Peyton had played me for years, using the innocent act to try to weasel her way into my bed. It hadn’t worked then and it sure as hell wouldn’t work now. There was no one else for me but El. Nothing would ever change that.
Peyton shifted from foot to foot as if she were nervous. When she finally spoke, her usually high-pitched voice was softer than I’d ever heard it.
“I thought you might want some company.”
“You thought wrong.”
She shifted from foot to foot again and her shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. “Abey, I think you need to accept the fact that things aren’t going to work out with Elizabeth.”
My hands clenched into fists in my lap. “That’s none of your business, and now it’s time to leave.”
She ignored me and took a step closer. “You know she’s all wrong for you. And every chance she gets, she runs. What kind of mate is that?”
Although I didn’t want them to, her words struck a chord deep within me. They dredged up old fears that I’d tried my hardest to squash.
Maybe she really wasn’t in love with me like I thought she was.
Maybe she’d never love me like I loved her.
Maybe she wasn’t meant to be mine.
I shook my head and gritted my teeth.
No.
I wouldn’t believe those lies. I knew who El was, and she was just scared. This had all moved so fast for her, and she was just trying to wrap her mind around it. She’d come around, like she always did. All I had to do was be patient and show her how much I loved her. It was only a matter of time before she reciprocated. I just knew it.
“You’re wrong Peyton and like I said, it’s none of your business. Now you need to go.”
She ignored me again and took another step forward. “Abey, she doesn’t want this life with you.”
My fists clenched tighter. “What are you talking about?”
She took another couple of steps until she’d made it to the middle of the room. “She told me she doesn’t want to rule. Has no inclination to be an alpha. You can’t change her mind.”
My head spun with the fear and questions I tried to keep at bay.
Sure, El and I had never talked about her becoming my counterpart, but I never thought it would have been such a shock to her. She’d handled every other part of life as a werewolf with such grace and poise, that I just knew she’d do the same when the time came for her to rise to power with me.
Maybe we should have had the conversation sooner. I just didn’t want to rush her. It was a lot for her to accept that she’d met her soul mate, and she didn’t need anything else to worry about.
And when she’d brought up marriage earlier in the night, it had shocked me to my core. Of course, I’d thought about it. Dreamed about it constantly, if I were being honest, but I hadn’t wanted to scare her.
It was strange, but the moment I met her, I felt like I knew her. The knowledge was like a deep well inside me that I’d never accessed before but had been waiting all along. And I knew that I needed to take my time with her. That she wouldn’t respond well to feeling like she was forced into anything. El was the kind of woman that needed to figure things out on her own. It might take her a while, but she always got there.
“She was just caught off guard. She’ll come around,” I said. Why I was trying to convince Peyton, I wasn’t sure. Maybe if I could persuade her, I could calm my own fears.
Peyton dropped her arms and walked the rest of the distance across the room, stopping only when she’d reached my bed. “She doesn’t want you. Not all of you. Why are you still holding onto that when you have other options?”
I snorted. “And you’re that other option?”
Peyton smiled and rested a knee on my bed as if she were preparing to crawl across it. “I am. I’ve always been here, waiting for you to notice me. Finally, I got sick of waiting and decided to do something about it.”
Her words brought me up short. “What do you mean you decided to do something about it? What did you do?”
Peyton shrugged and rested her other knee on the bed beside the first. “I might have given her a little heads up.”
I sat up even straighter, my shoulders so tense, they almost touched my ears. “What. Did. You. Do?” I spat between gritted teeth.
Peyton paused and for the first time, looked like she was unsure of herself. “I just told her what she could expect once you two were mated.”
Suddenly, everything made sense.
Peyton had somehow slithered her way into the lodge and filled El’s head with this nonsense.
“Let me guess,” I drawled. “You also told her the pack wouldn’t accept her as the alpha.”
She shrugged again and lowered her body until she was spread out across the foot of my bed. “Well, they won’t. No one will accept a bitten wolf as their leader. I thought it was only fair that she knew the truth before things went too far.”
My temper was dangerously close to snapping.
I narrowed my eyes at Peyton and tried to figure out where I went wrong with her. She’d always been a fixture in our lives since she’d become fast friends with Beatrice, but I’d never given her much thought. She was just my sister’s friend.
I never expected she would do all this. Never thought she was vindictive enough to sabotage my relationship with El every chance she got. Peyton was an adversary I hadn’t expected, but one I knew I needed to deal with now. And swiftly.
“You’re wrong,” I growled. “This pack loves her. They’ll follow her just as easily as they followed me.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure of that.”
Finally, I’d had enough.
Enough of this garbage with Peyton.
Enough of this fight with El.
Enough of feeling out of control of my life.
I whipped the covers off my body and swung my legs around to get up. Peyton rose from her splayed position and frowned at me. “Where are you going?”
“We’re both going.”
She sat up fully, her eyes bright with perceived victory.
How had I never seen how desperate she was before this? How had I never noticed how manic her eyes were? How had I let someone as vindictive as Peyton worm her way into our lives?
I didn’t know the answers to any of those questions, but I was going to rectify the situation immediately.
Thankful that I’d at least worn sweatpants to bed, I stood up and turned to face her. She was looking so hopeful, it made my stomach turn. I took a step back and jerked my head to the side.
“Up. Now.”
She complied immediately, sliding to her feet and standing before me. “What are we doing?”
I grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her toward the door. “You’re getting the hell out of my house.”
She tried to slow her steps, but I was much bigger and stronger. She stood no chance against me.
“Abey, wait! Why are you kicking me out? I thought you were finally seeing reason!”
I opened my bedroom door and led her through my sitting room and out into the hallway. “I am.”
I released her arm and turned away from her. I knew I needed to deal with her and end this bullshit once and for all, but I couldn’t do that now. Right now, there was a tightening in the pit of my stomach that told me something was wrong. I’d learned over the years to always trust my gut, so I needed to find out what that something was immediately.
“Abey, wait!” Peyton yelled as she grabbed my arm.
I shook her hand off. “What?”
“You can’t just kick me out like this. Talk to me. Let me make you feel better.” She ran a finger down my bicep before I grabbed her hand and tossed it back to her.
“Don’t touch me.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. I wasn’t done.
“Don’t touch me, don’t look at me, don’t come into my bedroom, don’t talk to El and stay the fuck out of my house. Can you manage all that?”
Peyton blinked up at me. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want nothing to do with you. I’m saying I’m not going to let you infect any other part of my life. I’m saying your place in this pack is seriously up for debate.”
She gasped loudly. “You’d kick me out? Just for telling Elizabeth the truth?”
I growled low under my breath. “You know what you’ve done. I’ve turned a blind eye to your antics for too long, but not anymore. If you’re not gone from my sight in the next five seconds, you will be excommunicated.”
“Abey! You can’t do that!”
“One.”
She huffed out a breath, color rising in her pale cheeks. “I’m who you should be with! Not her!”
“Two.”
Her clasped her hands together like she was getting ready to pray. “Abey, I love you. Please, let me show you how good I can be to you. I can do so much better than that stupid human.”
I ground my teeth together so hard, I was worried I’d crack my jaw. “Three.”
She threw her hands up in the air. “It doesn’t matter, anyway! She’s already with him by now.”
I jerked back at her words before surging toward her. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
She smiled smugly as she finally seized the upper hand in this conversation. “Calvin. He said he was taking her somewhere they could be alone. They’re probably already there.”
I took a menacing step forward and grabbed her elbow roughly. “Explain. Now.”
She shrugged a single shoulder. “I don’t know what his plan was, only that he asked me to make her upset and then let him know when she left the party.”
Thoughts raced through my head at Mach speed while I tried to make sense of everything she was saying. But, none of it made sense, and I knew I needed to get to her somehow. The awful feeling in my stomach intensified, and it served to light a fire under my ass.
I tossed Peyton’s arm away from me and turned back toward my bedroom. “Pack your things, Peyton. I want you off my lands by daybreak.”
With that, I slammed the door and buried my face in my hands.
I’d fucked up and now, El was in trouble. I didn’t know what Calvin’s intentions were, but I had a really bad feeling about the whole situation. I needed to find her. Now.