Chapter Thirty-seven
“You have failed yet again. The girl I commanded you to bring is gone.”
Xairn put a hand to his aching head as he bowed before the black iron throne. “What does it matter? She was not the one we sought.” When he’d woken up the Blood Kindred and his female were long gone. For some reason the warrior had sealed the hole he’d made in the hull of the asteroid ship, sparing Xairn’s life. Though he couldn’t fathom why.
He should have killed me, he thought dully. It would have been better that way. Of course, if he’d died, there would have been no one to care for Sanja. The automatic feeder would have kept her alive but there would have been no one to stroke her glossy fur and love her. Xairn wished she’d been with him earlier, before he folded space to go home. He’d been fifty light years away from the Fathership and so close to freedom. If he’d had his pet he could have simply left, never to return. And maybe—
“It mattersss because I wanted her.” The AllFather’s angry words broke his train of thought. “Her pain was unique— exquisite .”
“Sorry to deny you your favorite dish, father,” Xairn said heavily. “But there was nothing I could do. The warrior was deep in rage —I don’t even know why he let me live.”
“I don’t either.” The AllFather’s voice softened suddenly. “But I am glad you ssstill live my ssson.”
The words caught Xairn off guard and for a moment his heart felt as though someone had squeezed it. Could it be that his father was showing some emotion for him after all these long, barren years? Could it be that the AllFather actually cared whether he lived or died?
“And…and why is that, Father?” he asked, forcing his voice to stay even and calm.
“Because I would have missed you, of course.” The AllFather’s hissing voice was as soft as Xairn had ever heard it. Almost gentle.
“You would?” Xairn tried to smother the small flame of hope that grew in his starved heart. “Truly?”
“Truly.” The blazing red eyes seemed almost to smile. “Ssso I will forgive you for losing the girl—just this once. And sssince we ssstill have the marker in place, all you need do isss locate her and use the beam to retrieve her. Ssshe will be bonded to her warrior by now, ssso her pain will be even more deliciousss when I take her.”
Xairn swallowed, trying not to let his dismay show. “About the marker…”
“Yesss?” The AllFather’s eyes glittered dangerously. “It isss ssstill in place, isn’t it? Or could it be…” He rose from the black metal throne and began pacing, his shadowy robes billowing around his skeletal frame. “Could it be that you very unwisely removed it before letting the girl go free?”
“What…” Xairn swallowed again with a dry click . “What would make you think something like that?”
“Because when I activated the detection sssystem, the sssignal led back to your ssship.” The AllFather continued to pace as he spoke. “I was puzzled at first. I thought that maybe you’d brought the girl after all and had hidden her away to keep her for yourssself. But none of my guardsss could find her anywhere.” He nodded at the huge, vat grown guards at his back and Xairn noticed for the first time that there were only three of them this time. Where was the fourth? Before he could say anything, the AllFather continued.
“I did eventually find the missing marker—which sssomeone had detached from the girl.” He held up the small metal chip, its silver surface tarnished with dried blood.
“Father—”
“Of course I had a little help sssniffing it out,” the AllFather continued, ignoring his interruption. “Alpha,” he added, turning his head slightly. “Come forward and ssshow my ssson our little helper.”
Xairn had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach—a feeling of dread he tried desperately to dismiss. No, it couldn’t be. He couldn’t have found out— Then the AllFather’s fourth guard came forward and all his worst fears were confirmed.
Sanja barked when she saw him, her stump of a tail wagging madly as she strained to get to her master. But the huge guard jerked on the metal leash she was attached to, causing the spiked choke collar around her throat to strangle her sounds of joy.
“No!” Xairn couldn’t stop himself from reacting. “No, leave her alone!”
“Green eyesss.” The AllFather laughed as Sanja stopped trying to bark and settled down at once. “Sssuch a pathetic little code. A reference, perhapsss, to your mother?”
Xairn just looked at him, refusing to answer.
“Did you truly think you could hide anything from my ssscan?” his father demanded. “Oh, you may have obscured a few detailsss—I wasss unable to retrieve the combination to your roomsss for instance, but with a little patience and a laser torch, my guardsss took care of that. It took them sssome time but the end result was sssatisfactory.” The AllFather nodded at Sanja.
“She’s just a pet,” Xairn pleaded. “Beneath your notice, surely, Father.”
“Sssuch emotion.” The AllFather sounded like he was licking his nonexistent lips in anticipation of the pain to come. “Sssuch care you have sssquandered on this sssimple beast.”
“Leave her alone, please .” Xairn struggled to keep his voice level. “I will go after the girl myself. Even if it means infiltrating the Kindred Mother ship. I can use a pigment dye on my skin and eyes to fit in with them. I swear I will bring her back to you. Please, Father…”
“It isss too late.” The AllFather shook his head. “The Kindred have already increased their ssshielding. Our the molecular transport beam cannot penetrate their new armamentsss. But I do not want the girl anyway. Not now.” He began to pace again. “For now we mussst concentrate on finding the one the prophesy spoke of—the true one this time. I am certain ssshe is of the sssame line as Sssophia and Olivia Waterhouse.”
“But the girl said there were no others. That all her relatives were dead. Did she lie?” Though he spoke of other things, Xairn’s eyes refused to leave his pet. How had the AllFather found her? How, when he’d been so careful to shield his mind? Or had his father known all along and only let him think he was keeping his secret safe?
“Sssophia told the truth—as far as ssshe knew it.” Absently, the AllFather put out a hand to scratch Sanja’s head. She whimpered and ducked away from him, obviously fearing his touch, but he took no notice. “But I believe that there isss another—one that neither Sssophia or Olivia knowsss of. We mussst find her sssoon for I am nearing my peak—the time when my ssseed will be most potent. I mussst have her here and ready for breeding before that happensss.”
“Of course,” Xairn murmured. And then he couldn’t help asking, “And Sanja?”
“Your little pet?” The AllFather glanced down at the cowering urlich with obvious contempt. “I sssimply brought her forward to prove to you that you cannot hide thingsss from me. To teach you a lesson .”
“Yes, of course, forgive me, Father.” Xairn felt a great wave of relief wash over him. “I will never do it again.”
“Of course not.” The AllFather spoke gently as though to a naughty child. “For I ssshall remove that which you tried to hide.” Sitting back on the green-etched throne he nodded at his guard. “Alpha, bring the bitch to me.”
“No!” Xairn lunged forward but suddenly there were two huge guards at his sides, holding him back. “No, you said you just wanted to teach me a lesson. Please , Father!”
“And I ssshall teach you a lesson, my ssson.” The AllFather still spoke softly, but his crimson eyes were filled with a horrible kind of glee. “Fear not—I do not intend to kill your little pet. Though I dare sssay ssshe will be much altered when I am finished with her…”
Leaning down, he took Sanja’s head between his hands. The urlich whined with fright at his cold touch, but the guard held her firmly, despite her struggles.
“Please,” Xairn begged again. “She’s never been modified—she can’t defend herself! Can’t…can’t you do it to me instead?”
“Oh, I ssshall.” The AllFather looked up briefly. “Never fear, Xairn, I will harvessst your pain when I am finished driving this little bitch mad. It ssshould almost compensate me for the losss of the girl. And now…” He looked down at Sanja again, his red eyes boring into her soft brown ones. “Let me sssee, it hasss been yearsss sssince I practiced my art on a life form ssso sssimple but I believe…Ah yesss.” His grip tightened on Sanja’s head and she let out a painful yip that tore at Xairn’s heart.
He’s going to do it. He’s going to drive her mad and it’s going to hurt—he’ll make it as agonizing as he possibly can. Xairn felt like he was going mad himself. To see his pet subjected to such torture—the one source of love and sanity he had on the cold, barren Fathership—was almost more than he could bear. He’ll damage her. Twist her the way he twisted me. Torture her in ways she’ll never recover from.
Sanja let out another pained cry and then another. She was whining continuously now, though her body had gone limp in the Alpha guard’s arms. In fact, he no longer had to hold her still at all—she hung loosely in his grip, held in place only by the AllFather’s will.
Xairn struggled mightily with the guards on either side of him but though he was six foot six and very muscular, the genetically engineered giants were larger by a foot and a half and hundreds of pounds each. Had Sanja been a female he was fighting for he might have had a chance. But she was a pet—a dearly beloved pet—but only a pet when all was said and done.
I don’t care if she’s just a pet—I can’t let her be driven mad. Can’t let her endure the torment and torture I’ve felt myself so many times before. But how could he stop it? How could he save her from the AllFather’s evil grip, save her from the madness and pain and horror of his hungry, malevolent scan?
The AllFather’s voice rang n his head. Did you truly think you could hide anything from my ssscan? Oh, you may have obscured a few detailsss…
Yes, a few details, Xairn thought grimly. And if he couldn’t get the combination to my rooms from my mind, surely he missed other things. Like the plans I put in place just in case he ever found Sanja. A coldness fell over him and suddenly he knew what he had to do.
“Sanja,” he called clearly, praying she wasn’t too far gone to hear and obey his command. “Sanja, come to me, girl. Come.”
She trembled in the guard’s massive arms, clearly fighting the AllFather’s hold. Fighting…fighting with all her might to go to the master she loved.
And somehow love won over compulsion.
Though it should not have been possible, Sanja broke loose from both his father and the Alpha guard and rushed to Xairn’s embrace. And though it nearly tore his arms from his sockets, he somehow found the strength to free himself from his captors and catch her.
“Good girl,” he whispered, burying his face in her warm ruff. He didn’t have much time—already the AllFather was issuing orders and the massive guards were converging on them, ready to pry her from his arms and return her to torment. “But I won’t let that happen,” Xairn whispered, hugging her fiercely. “I won’t let him hurt you any more, girl.”
“Take the bitch,” he heard the AllFather command. “Bring her back to me and be certain my worthlesss ssson doesss not escape again. Release her,” he snarled at Xairn.
Xairn felt the compulsion…and somehow managed to overcome it. Somehow managed to disobey just this once, when it really counted. He kept Sanja firmly in his arms and ignored his father’s orders.
“I’m sorry, girl. So sorry. I tried to protect you,” he murmured, looking into her true, brown eyes one last time.
“Xairn!” The AllFather’s voice rose with fury. “ I sssaid release her!”
Again he fought the compulsion and again he won though it was harder this time—so much harder. It was now or never—he had to give the order he had always feared giving. The only one that could save his beloved Sanja from the evil and madness inflicted by his father. Save her from living a life as worthless and miserable as his own.
“Sanja,” he told her, his voice breaking as he voiced the dreaded command. “Sanja, die .”
At his order, the voice activated chip buried beneath her ruff went into action. The capsule containing a fast acting, painless poison broke open and the deadly substance spread throughout the urlich’s system instantly.
“Sanja,” Xairn whispered. Anguish coursed through his veins as the poison coursed through hers. “I’m so sorry. So very, very sorry…”
Faithful to the last, she licked his face, swiping away his tears with her long pink tongue. Then with a soft whimper, her eyes closed and she went limp in his arms.
“Idiot! Fool!” The AllFather was in a towering rage such as Xairn had never seen. “How dare you cheat me again of the pain I desssire!” He glared at Xairn. “Very well—I will sssimply have to extract twice as much agony from you .”
“You can try.” Xairn laid the limp body gently on the floor. He swiped once at his wet cheeks and when he rose to face his father, his eyes were dry.
The AllFather’s blazing red eyes narrowed but Xairn didn’t flinch or turn away from their probing stare. “What do you mean, try ?” his father demanded at last.
Xairn shrugged. “Only that you’re welcome to scan me, Father. Do whatever you like. I don’t care.”
The AllFather made a curt gesture. “Beta, Gamma—bring him to me.”
Xairn was dragged forward roughly though he would have gone willingly. He no longer feared the AllFather’s cold caress—what more was there to fear? The worst had already happened.
“Look at me,” the AllFather snapped and Xairn looked dutifully into the red eyes. He felt the frigid fingers in his mind, saw his worst and most horrifying memories laid bare, but they no longer mattered. Even the face of his mother, her mouth shaping his name, her green eyes filled with tears, didn’t bother him. He was cold now—impervious.
The AllFather scanned harder, digging deeper and more brutally than he ever had before, but Xairn was unmoved. At last there was a savage curse and he felt the corpse-cold fingers withdraw from his brain.
“Why?” The AllFather glared at him. “You ssshould be brimming over with pain—ssshould be filled with agony. But I find nothing to feed upon, nothing to sssate my appetite.”
“There is nothing left,” Xairn replied, and knew it to be true. He was hollow inside now, a shell. The part of him that had been capable of love, of pity, of pain, was gone. It had died the moment the spark in Sanja’s eyes had gone out. “You should be glad, Father,” he said, looking into the AllFather’s crimson eyes, so hatefully like his own. “Finally you have a son in your own image. One who feels as much—and as little—as you.”