Wes

I try not to let my disappointment, that Jemma won’t be at the concert, bother me. Resting on the couch backstage, I watch as Finn and Autumn talk quietly together. I need to distract myself from worrying how Jemma is doing with the doctor. I couldn’t hang around to wait for him to arrive because we had to head to the venue for sound check and an interview with Listen Up magazine. Of course, they asked me about the photos already circulating of me carrying Jemma into the hotel. Once I briefly explained that she just worked for the band, they wanted to know what happened to her face. It surprised me, because I honestly don’t notice her scars anymore. They are just a part of the beautiful person that she is. Finn didn’t hesitate to shut that line of questioning down. He’s fiercely protective of anything he deems is out of the scope of the public sphere.

He did however give them confirmation of Autumn’s pregnancy with a warning that the press need to give her space or there’ll be hell to pay.

At least we have a few moments to relax now before the show.

“What do you think, Wes?” Ryan looks at me expectantly.

“Ah, what?”

“We just wondered what you thought of the idea of us all wearing blonde wigs for the encore.” Finn says with a perfectly straight face.

“Yeah, sure that sounds cool,” I return with an equally straight face.

Ryan is the first to crack. He throws his head back and laughs. Before long we’re all laughing. It’s nice to see Zane having fun. He’s still pretty broken up about his marriage falling apart.

“We should really do it,” Zane says when we finally stop laughing. “You know, for charity or something.”

“I’m in,” Ryan says immediately.

I look at Finn. He smiles.

“Sure, any idea what charity we should donate to?” I ask, always thinking of the practicalities of the band’s crazy ideas.

“What about The Jed Foundation?” Zane suggests. “Jade said they do a fantastic job at reaching out to at-risk college kids.”

I’m surprised he wants to support something associated with his ex-wife, but I’m all for supporting mental health. “I’m in.”

“Yeah,” Finn agrees, “We definitely need to help reduce the stigma around mental illness. We can make a donation to Peaceful Shores as well. Without them, Autumn would never have been able to cope with this lifestyle and I would have had to quit the band.”

Trent finally arrives and we tell him about our idea to support various mental health charities. We leave him to sort out the details as we head for the stage. The sound of the crowd gets louder as we get closer. It sounds like the support band has done a good job of energizing the crowd.

The first song goes off without a hitch and the crowd is really getting into it. I finish playing the final note, and I can tell it’s going to be one of the memorable gigs. Some shows pass in a blur and are soon forgotten but others stand out in your mind. It’s a hard thing to quantify. it just is what it is.

Finn walks up to the front of the stage to address the crowd. “Hello, Orlando! How are y’all doing tonight?”

The response is instantaneous, excited yelling and greetings ensue.

“I want to share something absolutely mind-blowingly incredible with you all. My gorgeous wife is going to have a baby! I’m going to be a father.”

The cheers and whistles threaten to lift the roof off the building.

“Thanks guys. I know it’s going to be an adjustment, but Infusion Deep is going to continue even with a new member for the band. Although my wife thinks we have to wait a few years before we introduce him or her to all this,” Finn chuckles and the crowd laughs along with him.

He’s such a natural performer. I’m just glad he’s our front man. There’s no way I could just casually chat with thousands of people. I’m much happier being back here behind the keyboard.

Finn puts the mic back on its stand, turns around, and picks up his guitar. He makes a quick adjustment and turns back to the mic. “I want to dedicate this next song to Autumn and our baby. Don’t be afraid to sing along when we get to the chorus.”

I’m restless can’t seem to stop moving

I think I’m afraid of what all this means

What if I can’t be what you need?

How do I stop the fear from devouring me?

She takes my hand and whispers it will all work out

She steals my breath and makes me believe

My heart is full my life makes sense

She makes me believe she makes me whole

I sing along with the crowd as we play through the chorus. Jemma is still on my mind. I wish she were here, it would make tonight perfect.

Jemma

I abandon my crutches and move to the rhythm of the music. A sea of unfamiliar bodies moves with me. Simon, one of the roadies is beside me in to help in case things get to be too much. Nothing could stop me from being here tonight. Sophie opted to stay backstage with Autumn. She’s excited about the prospect of being an honorary aunt. But I want to experience the thrill of being in the crowd. Of seeing the band from a fan’s perspective.

The show is incredible. It’s not hard to see why Infusion Deep is so huge. Could I ever be a part of something like this? My heart screams yes while the voice of reason says it’s not a good idea. Marriage breakdowns are common enough. I hate to imagine what the stats on celebrity unions are. I used to see myself working at a University doing research and living a normal quiet life. I’m not sure that’s what I want anymore but I’m not sure that living life in the spotlight is it either.

Besides, my degree in Linguistic Anthropology is hardly going to be any use for a rock band. But maybe it wouldn’t be forever. Wes has mentioned on more than one occasion that he doesn’t see himself doing this forever. Ugh, I need to get out of my head and just enjoy the music.

The band finishes their last song and leaves the stage. The ‘encore’ chant starts almost straight away, and I join in. It feels good to yell as loud as I can. Even Simon yells beside me and he’s worked with the band from the beginning. I smile at him and he smiles back. He places a steadying hand on my arm as I wobble on my one good leg, but as soon as I’m stable, he releases me.

The band comes back on stage and I wave my hand in the air as the opening notes to Not Falling cut through the noise. I love this song. It reminds me of how I feel about Wes. Even though I’ve tried to keep myself from falling for him, I haven’t been able to.

I sing loudly along with Finn.

Something about you

Guess there was something about you

Brought me to my knees

Took me by surprise

And brought me to my knees

And brought me to my knees

But, I’m not falling

I won’t fall

Still won’t fall for you

As the last notes to the final song hang in the night air, I realize I’ve never felt as alive as I do right now. It’s been a magical night, and I don’t want it to end. I want to go backstage and congratulate the band on a brilliant show. And if I’m being honest with myself, I want to hold a certain band member tight and never let go.

As the audience exits the venue, I pick up my crutches and let Simon lead me backstage. I catch a few envious looks from some of the women still here as I pass through the door that leads to the band’s inner sanctum. I hobble along the hallway. My foot is really throbbing. Wes is going to be upset that I spent the night standing on it instead of resting. But I don’t regret a moment.

Simon stops and turns toward me. “Will you be alright from here? I have a lot to do tonight, especially since I watched the whole show with you.”

“Yeah, of course. I shouldn’t stopped you from getting your work done.”

Simon grins. “No worries. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched a whole show. I’ve missed it.”

“It’s alright, Simon, I can take her.”

I spin around awkwardly. Trent is standing there smiling, his hair slicked back. Simon waves and heads off.

“It’s alright,” I say. “I think I can find my way, no one needs to go out of their way for me.”

“Nonsense, can’t have you hobbling around back here getting in everyone’s way.”

“Well, if you’re sure I’m not a bother.”

“Oh no, definitely not a bother.” Trent smiles, and it sends a shiver of dread up my spine.

I shake my head. I’m sure I’m just imagining things. Although Finn gripes about Trent all the time, I’ve never heard any stories to make me think he’d do anything to me. I follow the band’s manager as he leads me deeper back stage. He opens a door to what looks like a dressing room and ushers me inside.

I look around but the room is empty. “Where are Autumn and Soph?”

“Probably back at the hotel already.”

“Oh.” I’m surprised to hear they didn’t wait for me, but Autumn was probably tired with the whole pregnancy thing. I’ve noticed she gets tired quite easily. She’s probably sent me a message, but I haven’t checked my phone.

“Would you like a drink?” Trent opens a fridge and pulls out two beers.

“Um, just water is fine actually.”

He cracks the top off both drinks and hands me one. “One drink won’t hurt. You’re not a teetotaler are you?”

“No, but I’m working, and I’m not really a beer drinker.” I try to take a step back, but between the crutches and the drink in my hand I’m stuck. Something about this just doesn’t feel right. Alarm bells go off in my head. Although Trent is nothing like my ex, he’s giving me the same feeling right now, and I don’t like it.

Trent laughs. “No one likes a priss, Jemma. Lighten up, it’s just one beer.”

I take a small sip while I try to gather my thoughts. Trent places his arm on the wall, fencing me in. My breath speeds up as my heart races.

“So…ah…that was a great show tonight, don’t you think?”

Trent leans in toward me until his face is within inches of my own. “You know, Jemma, you’re a smart girl. None of the boys in the band even have a degree. They can’t understand the way your mind works. Not like I can. You know I graduated from Harvard with honors.”

“What do you want, Trent?” I’m surprised at how steady my voice sounds even though my heart is still racing and my palms are sweaty.

Trent doesn’t answer instead he presses his mouth hard against my own. My bottle drops to the floor where it smashes, sending beer all over my bare leg. I stumble backward trying to free myself from his unwanted kiss. My back hits the wall and tears fill my eyes as my twisted ankle hits the ground. Trent grabs a handful of curls holding me in place. His other hand slides up my thigh under my dress.

As he forces his tongue into my mouth, I do the only thing I can. I bite down. Hard. Trent pulls back and utters a string of foul curses. Blood runs down his chin. He shoves me hard into the wall. My head hits the wall and everything turns black for a moment as I slide to the floor. More pain radiates from my thigh as I fall onto the broken bottle.

The door crashes open and Wes and Ryan rush in. Wes’s eyes open wide as he takes in the scene.

Ryan glances at me and back to Trent. “Help her, I’ve got this.” He pulls his arm back and slams his fist into Trent’s face.

I have a moment to take in Wes’s anguished expression before he scoops me up into his arms.

“Wes,” I whisper as the world goes dark.