Wes

Today the world seems blurry again. The edges are indistinct. It’s as if they’ve been smudged somehow. I take my place behind the keyboard as the lights go on. The crowd is like a huge pit of white noise. At least my hands know what to do. It’s as if they have a separate life of their own as they flawlessly play the first song in the set. Finn has the crowd focused on him. His husky voice floods the arena.

Only one more show and then New York. I’m hoping that it will be enough to bring some clarity back. If Sophie and Jemma can’t bring me back, can anything? Jemma has been distant, yet professional during our nightly calls. I can’t believe I almost kissed her before I left. It hadn’t been planned. Just being that close to her was intoxicating. Like a drug that once sampled was completely addictive. Thoughts of Jemma had kept me present for weeks until the grey fog began to descend again. What city is this? One stadium is much like the last. A never-ending parade of sameness.

Play. Stop for the applause. Repeat.

Finn is talking. We must be near the end. “Thanks for being a great crowd, Philadelphia. Would you like to hear a special new song?”

The crowd roars their approval. What new song? What the heck is he talking about? Hopefully, this is some solo acoustic gem he’s cooked up. Probably mentioned it at the last band meeting. I don’t remember.

“This song is amazing. You’re going to love it. It was written by my best friend and bandmate Wes Bowman!”

The cheering ratchets up a few decibels. Me? They’re going that crazy for me? A spotlight spreads a golden halo over me as the other stage lights dim. My thoughts turn to her and the music flows.

One day I opened my door

And there you were, you were there

There’s a girl in the front row clutching her hands to her heart as if she can’t get enough. Finn’s voice blends seamlessly with mine as we reach the chorus.

I can’t let you in

The love that’s trapped within me can’t be released

Can you find me? Can you see beneath the guilt?

Free me from within, let me love again

A tear slides slowly down my cheek, but I have to ignore it. The ivory keys come into sharper focus. The feelings the song evokes slam into me. Finn strides across the stage unhampered by his guitar for this song. He stands beside me and sings into my mike.

My hands pound the keys as we sing together. My voice soars. I can feel it. I can feel her. This is the feeling, the one that’s been missing. Trust Finn to figure it out, to know what I need.

The applause is deafening. I can’t believe they loved something I wrote so much. Finn pulls me out from behind the keyboard to the front of the stage. He lifts my hand high and then we both bow low as he lets our entwined hands fall. Ryan and Zane join us and we all place our arms around each other’s shoulders in a line facing the crowd. We take one final bow before waving to the crowd as we head backstage.

We huddle together, energized by the night’s performance.

Finn takes the lead as always. “Great job, guys. You all totally rocked it tonight. And that song Wes—Magic! There was one thing though…you looked a bit surprised when I announced it. Did you forget we were debuting it tonight?”

I grimace, before the grin returns. “Yeah, must have slipped my mind.” I’m not going to admit I don’t even remember deciding to include the song. Who knows what the response to that would be?

“Well the crowd sure lapped it up,” Ryan says. “We definitely need to add it to the regular set list.”

“Agreed.” Zane stands, and we all break apart from our post-show huddle. “We’d better get back out there before the crowd tears the place apart.”

I’m first back on stage. An energy courses through my veins I haven’t felt in a long time. For once I actually feel like I’m still young.

Jemma

My foot taps nervously against the shiny white speckled floor. “Are you sure having your brother meet us at the airport is a good idea?”

“Stop stressing, Jem, he’ll probably have some lame-o disguise.” Sophie tugs on the straps of her backpack as she searches the sea of faces around us. “Look, there he is!”

I look the way she’s pointing, but I can’t see Wes anywhere. “I can’t see him.”

“See that guy with the Knicks Jacket and the bad hair?” Sophie laughs.

Now that he’s closer, I can see it’s Wes hiding under the bad wig and wearing a pair of sunglasses. “Eww, no wonder no one noticed him. That wig looks like it could be hiding all sorts of vermin.”

“Yep, Finn wears it too, it always works.” Sophie runs the last few meters and flies into Wes’s arms.

I stand awkwardly while they finish hugging. I still never know how I should greet Wes. A hug, a handshake? Where are we at now that we almost kissed? I let Wes take the lead and he wraps his arms around me in a brief hug.

His smile looks brighter and less forced than the last time I saw him. “Hey, Jemma, how was your flight?”

“Pretty good. You look great.” My cheeks heat. That didn’t come out how I meant. I just wanted to let him know he looks happier, not that I think he looks hot. Although both are true. “Except for that mangy hair. How can you even stand to have that thing on your head?”

Wes grimaces. “It’s pretty bad, but it beats having anyone recognize me. How about we get out of here?”

Wes puts an arm around Sophie’s shoulder as we head toward the exit. I smile at Stan and Leon as they pick up our bags and follow discreetly a few feet behind us.

Wes opens the door of the car for us and Sophie jumps in first, leaving me the seat in the middle. I’m acutely aware of Wes’s body right beside mine as he gets into the car. As usual, he smells amazing. His thigh brushes against mine as he shifts in his seat. I do up my seatbelt and place my hands in my lap. This ride is going to be torturous. Heat courses through me from where our legs touch, but to avoid being obvious I don’t move away. Sophie has her phone in her hand and is texting madly.

Wes removes the ugly wig as the car pulls away from the curb. “Have you visited New York before, Jem?”

The way he says my name sends shivers down my spine. His voice is so husky and divine. “No, this is my first time.”

“Oh, maybe we can stay an extra day then. Soph’s always bugging me to do all the touristy things but we’re usually strapped for time with band stuff. But seeing as how we have a few days off after tonight’s show we could actually do something.”

“Are you sure? You wouldn’t mind me tagging around with you and Soph?”

“Of course not, the more the merrier. We can ask the rest of the band too.”

Disappointment courses through me. Of course, the invitation was nothing more than friendly. For a moment though, I’d thought it was me he’d wanted to spend more time with. I shake my head to clear it. “Sure I’d love to see the sights.” I smile broadly to hide my embarrassment.

We fall silent, and I take a moment to stare at the busy streets and tall buildings as we head deeper into the city.

The car pulls up in front of an überfancy hotel. I follow Wes out of the car, trying to ignore how good his butt looks in his fitted jeans.

Sophie finally puts her phone away as she scrambles out of the car. “We’re staying here?” She flings her arms around Wes. “I can’t believe we’re staying at the same hotel as Jackson Durant!” She squeals loudly. “Wes, please tell me I can meet him. Please, please, pleeease!”

I can’t help smiling at her antics. Maybe if she gets to meet the young star, she’ll finally get over her obsession. That or it will only make it that much stronger.

Wes shoots a panicked glance in my direction. “Soph, how do you even know he’s staying here right now?”

“Uh, duh, I have an app on my phone. Plus, I know there’s a premiere he’s attending.”

Wes’s mouth drops open. “You have a what?”

“Seriously, you’re famous, how can you not know about this stuff?”

Wes frowns. A few people have gathered. I walk over to Sophie and gently take her arm.

“We’d better go inside.” She looks around and quickly follows me into the hotel lobby.

I try not to let my mouth hang open as I take in all the marble and elegant opulence. As I look around, I notice my ratty suitcase is sitting with Sophie's on an elegant trolley thing. A wave of embarrassment washes over me, I don’t belong here with my Target clothes and old luggage.

Trent walks across the lobby toward us. “Hi, Jemma. Here’s your room key. You’re right next door to Wes and Sophie so you can be on hand if they need you.”

I take the plastic key. “Thanks, Trent. What time do Soph and I need to be at the venue?”

“If you can be there by six, that’d make my life easier.”

“Of course.”

“Well, I’ll let you head up and get settled.”

Sophie tugs on my arm. “Jem, do you think he’s here now?” She’s looking all around us like Jackson Durant is going to emerge from behind a potted plant or something.

“If he is, I doubt he’s going to be hanging out in the lobby.”

“You’re right, we should totally check out the gym. He’s so fit he must spend hours working out every day.”

I laugh. “Sure, we can check out the gym after the band leaves to go to the venue. I could do with a run after sitting on the plane for hours.”

“Yay!” Sophie turns to Wes as he joins us. “Hey Wes, what time are you heading to The Garden?”

“Around three. Have you girls had lunch?”

“No, can we go somewhere nice?” Sophie asks.

“We don’t have time today, Soph, but don’t worry, we have all day tomorrow to see stuff.”

“Alright, but promise me you’ll try and find out if I can meet JD, okay?”

Wes shrugs and rolls his eyes. “We’ll see.”

“Thanks. You’re the best big brother ever!” Sophie practically skips off toward the elevators and we follow behind.

“Now she’s going to hate me if I don’t introduce her to that little upstart.”

I glance at Wes, trying to read his expression. “Is he really that bad?”

Wes chuckles. “No idea. Never met him. He does have a bit of a rep though.”

“Like your band used to?”

“Touché.”

We get onto the elevator and ascend to near the top of the building. The doors slide open and we step out into a lushly carpeted hallway. It’s quiet and peaceful, but the thought of Autumn being dragged down a similar hotel hallway when Jason kidnapped her makes me shudder. I’m grateful for the presence of Leon and Stan as they follow us to Wes’s suite.

The inside is as opulent as I expected but smaller. I guess space is at a premium in New York, even for the wealthy. Still, the view is amazing and far superior to anywhere I’ve ever stayed.

I follow Wes and Sophie to the comfy looking couches and we all sit. Wes sits in a single chair and I sit next to Sophie. The security guys stay near the door. It feels weird how they are and aren’t part of the group. The band members are pretty friendly with all their security, but I guess they’re still working, so they can’t really just socialize with us.

Wes slaps his hands on his knees and leans forward. “So what would you girls like to order for lunch?”

Sophie jumps up to grab a menu, and I lean forward to read it with her. I ignore the prices as I scan to find something that sounds good.

“I think I’ll just have the hamburger.”

Sophie grins. “I’ll have that too.”

“Ah,” Wes smiles and rubs his stomach, “Girls after my own heart.”

As Wes makes the call to room service, Sophie jumps up. “I’m just going to check out my room and tell the girls I might be meeting JD.”

“Uh, Soph, just don’t be too disappointed if Wes can’t organize it, alright?”

“Don’t worry Jem, I’m not going to leave it all up to Wes, I’m going to check with the rest of the band as well. Who knows who might have an ‘in’ with him?”

A soft sigh escapes from between my lips. She’s one very determined teenager.

Wes comes back and resumes his seat on the couch.“She’s precocious, isn’t she? How am I going to cope when she’s sixteen if she’s like this now?”

“Oh, Wes, I’m sure she’ll be fine. She has people that care about her. That’s the most important thing. I’ve asked her if she wants to come to church with me, but so far she hasn’t been interested.”

Wes frowns slightly. “Maybe we should both come with you sometime. Who knows, it couldn’t hurt.”

“Ah, that’s the spirit,” I tease.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that how it sounded. I’ve kind of neglected any spiritual stuff. Our parents were never interested in anything that didn’t involve putting their own interests first.”

“Well, you’re always welcome. I’d love to have you and Sophie come with me anytime.”

“As long as it’s not weird if I go?”

I look into Wes’s eyes. They’re so warm and open it’s hard to look away. “You mean because of the fame thing?”

“Yeah, and because I’m so good looking.”

I’m taken aback for a moment before I realize he’s joking. I doubt he really knows just how good looking he is. It’s not in his DNA to be proud or boastful. “Well…we do have some pretty good looking men in our congregation, so you’d have some stiff competition.”

“Are you…are you dating anyone?”

I look away. My face feels like it’s on fire. “Um, why would you ask me that? If I date anyone, I won’t bring them to the house, but to be honest, I don’t think I’m ready to date again yet.”

Wes

Her admission relieves me more than it should. What was I thinking asking her something so inappropriate and personal? It was just when she was talking about other men she found attractive, I couldn’t contain the feelings of jealousy that rushed through me. If she hadn’t just told me she wasn’t ready to date, who knows what I would have asked her. I stand up and walk over to the window. I need to forget about my growing feelings for Jemma. Get back to keeping things on a professional level. Although teasing her just now it made me feel so light inside, I’d give anything to keep feeling like that. But I can’t put my own well-being above hers…

Her small hand touches my arm. It burns like fire where our skin meets.

“Wes, are you alright?”

I turn to face her and her big blue angelic eyes pierce my soul. Her genuine concern is my undoing. I wrap my arms around her and lean down to kiss her beautiful pink lips. They feel as soft and as amazing as I’ve imagined. My hand moves up to stroke her golden curls. Her gasp of surprise brings me back to my senses. I release her and take a step backward, colliding with the window.

I run a hand distractedly through my hair. “I don’t know what came over me. Can…can you forgive me for being an idiot?”

Her cheeks flush with color. “Of course. These things happen in the heat of the moment. I’m sure I’m to blame as much as you are.”

She’s being beyond generous as usual. What sort of man takes advantage of a woman like that? If she can forgive the scumbag that burnt her, of course she can forgive my unwanted advances.

“This won’t make things weird between us now, will it?” I ask. “I’d hate it if I made you feel uncomfortable. You’re doing a great job with Soph, and I don’t want anything to jeopardize that.”

Jemma reaches out a hand toward me and then lets it drop to her side. “Of course not. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”

I groan internally, knowing our kiss is going to keep me awake half the night. “Sure thing, I’m erasing it from my memory now.”

Jemma looks at me with an expression I can’t quite read. Before I can figure it out there’s a knock on the door.

Sophie comes flying out of her room. “Mmm room service, I’m starved!”

Leon lets the woman in with her trolley and she wheels it over to the dining table. I give her a generous tip and she quickly departs. The best thing about staying places like this is that they’re well trained not to pester us for pictures. I’ve ordered enough food for Leon and Stan as well and we all waste no time emptying the plates.

Sophie finishes the last bite and groans. “Mmm, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. Can we stay here forever Wes?”

“Nope, sorry there’s no garden.”

“You and your stupid gardens. Don’t you want to stay here forever Jemma?”

“I’m afraid I’m with Wes on this one.”

My stupid heart fills with joy, even though she’s only agreeing with me on our mutual love of growing things.

“Stan and Leon agree with me at least, don’t you?”

Leon smiles. “Yep, anyone who feeds me this well has earned my undying love.”

Sophie laughs. “So, if the chef is some fat bald guy, he’s earned your undying love?”

“Uh, sure,” Leon replies.

Stan chuckles. “Come on. Time to get back to work. Hey boss, who do you want to stay with the girls tonight?”

“Both of you. I’ll be heading in with the rest of the band.”

“Sure thing. You’d better head out then.”

I groan. I’d much rather stay here than go to another soundcheck, although it is Madison Square Garden, so who am I to complain?