CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

 

WHEN WE’D ARGUED with Aiden about us going home, I thought it would be a simple affair—the hard part coming with having to settle a stranger and two new additions into the house.

I was wrong.

Apparently word of the babies’ arrival, our stay, and the fact that I’d had twins had spread like wildfire through the court. Almost every fae that I’d had even the most passing association with wanted to give us a baby gift. Because of how much stuff we’d received, it had taken us a good hour to pack it all up. That was on top of the three hours we’d spent entertaining our visitors.

Finally though, the twins were already settled in their stroller, fast asleep again. I was well and truly ready to go home and try to get some semblance of normalcy back in our lives until the Tribunal was ready to decide Clay’s fate.

“You ready?” Clay asked.

“Are you?” I asked in return.

Clay had a backpack slung over one shoulder filled with baby paraphernalia, including various handmade protective charms and trinkets. He looked every part the doting father. Something told me that while he was willing to walk away from me when everything settled, he would always be there for Ava and David. My lips curled up into a smile at the thought.

“What are you smiling about?” he asked.

I couldn’t tell him everything I was thinking, so I told him what I could. “I’m just happy to be going home.”

He seemed confused. “But you were home until yesterday.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know where you were or what threat you posed.” Besides, I added silently, unable to tell him everything. Home isn’t home without you.

I could only hope that when the time came for him to leave, I would have had sufficient time to piece together the shattered pieces of my heart and enough glue to keep them together through the loss. “It’s good to be going home without all of that.”

“Even though this is only temporary?” He swallowed heavily.

I nodded. “I’m just relieved that you’re safe and the babies are healthy. Everything else will work itself out.”

“I suppose. Do you really think this is a good idea, going back to your house?”

“We can’t stay here, not if it’s affecting Ava.”

“Maybe we can’t. But maybe I should?”

“What if your dad decides to visit?” I glanced down at the twins. I was willing to risk my own life, but I couldn’t risk anything hurting them. I was certain Clay was as unwilling to allow harm to come to them. “Besides, I’ll probably need the help with two of them.”

“I guess you’re right.” He glanced around before scrubbing the back of his neck.

I dropped my gaze away from the all-too familiar action. “What is it?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking about what Louise said last night about you getting hurt by all of this. Surely the longer we pretend, the bigger the fallout will be for you?”

“Maybe, but like I told her, I’m a big girl. I’ve suffered the worst blow already knowing that the man I love doesn’t exist anymore. Everything else will be a walk in the park,” I lied. In truth, I was dreading that day in the future when I would have to say goodbye to him for good, almost as much as I worried about having a stranger in the house.

He frowned at me before nodding. “Okay then.”

Together, we went in search of Aiden to let him know we were ready to go. Aiden and Mackenzie escorted us back through the fairy rings. Once Clay had placed the bag full of baby gear into the nursery, he headed back to stand at my side.

Aiden pulled me aside. “Lynnie, I know things have not been the best between us for the last little while, but I do hope you understand my reasoning.”

“I do. I hope you understand mine.”

Aiden nodded. “Please remember that I will be here for you regardless of what occurs. Even if it feels to you that I have abandoned our friendship that is truly not my intention. All it will take is one call, one tiny request for assistance, and I will be here. We are family after all.” His eyes darted to Clay. I wondered if he remembered they were family too, even if it didn’t seem like it lately.

“Thank you. Are you going back now?”

“Yes. However, Mackenzie will be staying to ensure Ava’s health is stable once the enchantments fade.”

“Thank you.” I knew the personal cost to her.

Mackenzie smiled. “It is my pleasure. I am glad to be able to spend some time with them. In fact, if you two want some time alone, I will be happy to babysit while I am still here.”

I glanced at Clay and nodded. There was so much we still needed to work out, and it would be easier doing that without worrying about the babies. Leaving Mackenzie with the twins asleep in their cot, I grabbed Clay’s arm and pulled him into the master bedroom.

“I have no idea what to do now,” I admitted.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve spent the last two days on one of the biggest rollercoaster rides of my life, and considering what my life has been like up until now that’s saying something. I’ve been so focused on survival, my own and yours, and on getting home again that I didn’t give much thought to what we’d actually do when we got here.”

It wasn’t like we had the luxury of multiple bedrooms and a sprawling estate. Our house was small. It was cozy and intimate, everything we’d wanted when we were happy. The ghost of that happiness now threatened to haunt me until the moment our charade ended.

He followed my gaze around the small room and seemed to realize what I meant. “I can take the sofa if it’ll be easier?”

“It could be weeks,” I said. “Maybe months.”

“We’ll get a spare bed.”

“How’s that going to look when people come over?”

“We can put it in the nursery with the twins.”

Guarding their safety while we decided what to do about Troy would be a good cover for us sleeping in separate rooms. “That could work.”

“Until then, I don’t mind sharing if that’s the only choice.” The tips of his ears turned pink. “That’s if you don’t mind.”

I didn’t really want to share a bed with him again. The idea clearly made him uncomfortable and having the heat of him beside me was yet another reminder of everything I’d lost. I couldn’t see another option though, at least not until we bought another bed. I couldn’t in good conscious allow him to sleep on the sofa—especially not when it was a good few feet shorter than he was and not nearly as luxurious as the one at the court.

“I don’t mind.” I tried to sound convincing.

“Evie, I didn’t say it before, but thank you for what you’re doing.”

“It’s nothing,” I murmured. It’s only lying to everyone, risking alienation from family and friends, and sleeping beside a man who is almost-but-not-quite my true love. “There are clothes in those drawers and that wardrobe,” I added, trying to break the strange tension that had settled between us with his thanks. “They should fit.”

The moment the words left my mouth, I wanted the world to open up a gaping chasm and swallow me whole. Of course they’d fit. They were his.

He frowned. We were going to have a significant adjustment period.

“We should go see how Ava’s doing now that the enchantments have worn off,” I murmured as I headed to the door.

“I don’t understand. Nothing’s changed yet.”

“It won’t for you.” I glanced down at his hand, knowing that even now the blue flickering light that had faded from my vision would be visible to him. “You’ve inherited a few fae traits.”

“How did I not know what I was earlier then?” He obviously remembered some of the story I’d told him about us.

“It was blocked, possibly because Louise’s abilities were bound. You shared a womb; we think it’s likely your gifts are linked.”

“Do you think David and Ava are like that too?”

His question surprised me because I hadn’t given it much thought. “Maybe. I don’t know. I’m still coming to terms with having two babies. Let’s worry about their abilities later.”

It was probably a perfect time to raise my concerns over Ava’s heat, but I didn’t know where to begin or how to explain my fears without giving him a reason to think she was a threat to the world.

“Okay,” he said.

I made it halfway to the door before his hand caught my wrist. “Wait.”

“What is it?”

“Mackenzie is going to think we wanted time to ourselves to catch up alone, right?”

“Probably.”

“What would that have involved before, between you and . . . me?” The last word was forced, as if he’d wanted to say something else instead.

“Probably kissing.” The heat of a blush crept over my cheeks. “A lot of kissing.” There would have been other things too, if I hadn’t just given birth.

“Won’t she think it’s strange if we walk out there as perfectly groomed as we walked in here?”

“What are you saying?”

“I think we need to correct a few things.” He stepped closer to me, his eyes intently staring at my mouth. He stopped when he was right in front of me, when his lips were inches away from mine. Despite fighting hard against my body’s natural drive, my eyes drifted closed as I waited for whatever he was going to do.

I’ll enjoy it now and deal with the fallout later, I decided

He threaded his hands into my hair, holding my head gently between his hands for a second. I wasn’t even breathing as I waited for the fall of his lips. His fingers shifted to the back of my hair, and he ruffled it lightly with them before stepping away. I shouldn’t have been so disappointed that he hadn’t kissed me—it wasn’t like it was a good idea—but his proximity and the familiarity of everything about him was driving me crazy. The absence of his body in the space in front of me was so abrupt that my eyes shot open. He tugged at the end of his own hair and then smiled wryly at me.

“That’s better,” he said proudly. “Now at least she won’t get suspicious.”

I groaned inwardly as I realized that the weeks and months leading up to our inevitable parting were going to kill me. I took a moment to compose myself and pack my desire away before following Clay out of the room.