CHAPTER SIX

 

IT DIDN’T TAKE long for Clay and me to settle into the routine of court life. Because I was still recovering, and also—according to both Fiona and Aiden—a guest at the court, I wasn’t required to help with any tasks. However, Clay was the son of the matriarch and new to the life, so Aiden often took him away for hours at a time to learn the ways of the court. During these times I found myself alone, almost like I had been the first time I lived with the fae.

To fill my alone time, I visited the places that had once held comfort for me. The classrooms and the library mostly. Wherever I went, though, Louise seemed to be there. Whenever I saw her, information Clay had relayed to me over the past few days and weeks came to mind. As the eldest daughter of the queen, she had to learn every aspect of the court—decades of training—in as short a time as possible. Her birthright was to one day claim the rule of the court, unless she elected to pass the title on to Mackenzie. Fiona wouldn’t allow her to make that decision until after Louise had completed her training though.

The first few times our paths crossed, we’d done little more than nod in acknowledgement of each other. Over a handful of weeks, we finally worked our way up to saying polite hellos as we passed each other. I didn’t think we’d ever be friends, but if my life so far had taught me anything, it was to never say never. At least half the time I saw her, Ben was a fixture at her side. At least, he was there as often as his duties as the new head of the New York division of the Rain would allow.

Clay had taken to splitting his time three ways. He spent every night and as much of his days as he could with me. When we had that time, we would lock ourselves away and find new and creative ways to use all the furniture and various surfaces in our bedroom. A few days a week, he would help with the fae court. Mostly, he spent these days shadowing Aiden. He never spoke of what they did, but sometimes came home refreshed and happy, and other times drawn, pale, and visibly upset.

The rest of his time, he spent helping Ben and Ethan with the Rain. It was a monumental task trying to institute a new order—one where beings like me weren’t deemed evil just because we were more than human. So many wanted to cling to the old ways, so Clay used his influence to sway them to at least try the new method. It worked better for some operatives than others. Some simply refused to listen because Clay and his siblings were now others themselves—the rumors and gossip surrounding their fae nature had spread like wildfire through the ranks.

Because of how busy he was, I didn’t mention my own worries to him. On top of the unfamiliar chill in my body caused by the absence of the sunbird, an array of other symptoms had made an appearance. At first, I thought the dizzy spells were just my body’s reaction to the sudden change in my body temperature, but then the nausea started.

It was almost the middle of March, almost six weeks after I’d woken in the court to find the sunbird gone, when I finally gathered up the courage to send for Mackenzie. Because she was a healer, I hoped she’d be able to reach a diagnosis. I hadn’t expected her to find it quite so quick though. In fact, seconds after she’d touched my aura, she’d told me exactly what was wrong. Then she left, promising to go fetch Clay for me while I sat on the bed to come to terms with her news.

While I waited for him to arrive, my mind spun with the possibilities and implications. What was already a complicated situation was about to get a hundred times more complex.

And God, what would Clay think when I told him? He didn’t even know I’d been feeling off. It had probably been foolish keeping my symptoms hidden from him as long as I had. After all, it was no different than him keeping quiet on the fae sightedness before our Bayview visit. At least by waiting, I had an answer to give him rather than just a list of complaints.

“Evie, what is it?” His voice filled the room before the door was even fully open. I wondered what Mackenzie had said. “Mack said you needed to see me and impressed on Mom that it was important I come right away. Is everything okay?”

His concern made my heart race.

“Clay,” I said, wringing my hands together in a feeble attempt to stop my nerves. We’d discussed the possibility, but . . .

What if he isn’t ready? A wave of nausea rolled through me. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?” he demanded. He’d already been on edge when he’d come charging into the room, and my nerves weren’t helping.

“I didn’t tell you, but I’ve been feeling off since a little while after the sunbird left.” The moment the words escaped, his body grew rigid and his eyes widened with concern. I reeled off my list of symptoms. “I didn’t want to worry you when you’ve got so much going on. But I didn’t want to ignore it either. So I saw Mack.”

“What does she think it is?” he asked. “Is it something serious?”

“It is,” I said before swallowing hard. It was everything. “Incredibly so.”

He clutched at my hand desperately, stilling my anxious motions, as tears pricked the corners of his eyes.

I realized I’d selected the wrong words and had only added to his concern.

“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s nothing bad,” I said. When I met his gaze, I found the words I hadn’t even admitted to myself. “Clay . . . I’m pregnant.”

“Really?” he asked. Disbelief colored his voice, and his eyes were wide and unsure.

It was a reaction I understood—I’d been feeling it myself since Mackenzie had told me. For so long, I’d been certain that I’d never have a baby. While the sunbird warmed my body, it was impossible. The only way I would have borne a child then was through my death.

Even though Clay had mentioned the remote possibility that I could have a child the conventional way when he shared what he learned about the sunbird, I’d never believed that I would live to see it come true. There was too much we’d faced. Too many battles. Now that it was happening, it still felt more than a little surreal.

I would actually get to hold my daughter in my arms in a way my mother, and her mother before her, had never been able to.

A chuckle escaped Clay’s lips. “Wow. Evie, I . . . I don’t know what to say.” The corner of his lip twitched upward, and his hands left mine to brush at the back of his neck. He pushed himself off the bed and started to pace.

I wrung my hands together as I watched his nervous reaction. “Are—are you happy?” I asked, the words burning my tongue. What if the answer was no? The baby wasn’t expected, or planned for, but I was beyond happy about it. Still, I wanted—needed—Clay to be on board. I’d need his support.

He spun to face me. “Happy?” His breathing sped and a grin stretched across his mouth. “I’m over the fucking moon. I just . . . I can’t believe it. Wow. We’re going to have a little girl!”

His statement echoed my own assumption that we’d have a girl. After all, the sunbird passed through the female line. He didn’t stop grinning as he raced back to the bed and kissed me until I tumbled backward.

When my back hit the mattress, his hands were on my body. He lifted up my shirt and pressed a kiss just below my belly button.

“Hi, baby,” he whispered against my skin, drawing a giggle from me.

“I don’t think she can hear you yet.”

“I don’t care.” He pressed another kiss against my stomach and then climbed my body. “I won’t let a day go by where she doesn’t know how special she is.”

I snorted. Special was right. She was going to be part-phoenix, part-human, and part-fae. Who knew what that meant? I certainly didn’t. In that moment, though, I didn’t care. Now that the anxiety over Clay’s reaction was gone, a burst of excitement raced through me. It was amazing, beautiful, and massively unexpected. My only hope was that our daughter would be healthy and happy.

Clay and I wore matching smiles as he lay down beside me and guided me to straddle his hips.

“I still can’t believe it,” he said.

“I know,” I whispered back as I placed my hands on either side of his face and brought his lips to mine.

While our lips were locked, Clay’s hands made short work of my blouse. When I sat up to catch my breath, his teeth found his bottom lip, and he pressed his hand over my pelvis. His gaze found mine and he grinned.

Wordlessly, I placed my hand over the top of his and grinned in response.

We’re going to have a baby!

“I love you, Evie,” he said as sat up to claim my lips.

We moved as one to shed our clothing and then found the same position again—wrapped tightly against one another while connected on every level. Our pace was slow and steady, barely moving but with every motion in perfect sync with each other.

Clay’s gaze shifted between my eyes and my stomach as he moved within me. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around me tighter than before and rested his head against my heart.

“I’m going to be a daddy,” he murmured, using words that I didn’t think were meant for me.

Something told me we were going to be celebrating long into the night.