Apparently, it takes a day or two for the newness to wear off when it comes to kids. Our honeymoon period was over just as soon as we hit northern Ohio. Barely two days into the trip, we’d hit a wall.

I hadn’t even seen Mick, aside from the top of his head or the bottoms of his feet, in four hours, because he’d climbed into the back of the van to entertain the kids while I drove. Every now and then, I’d look into the rearview mirror and see him playing a game or watching a movie with the kids. He’d wink at me, and then I’d go back to watching the road.

However, it’s apparent that the kids no longer wanted to be cute, or sweet, or on their best behavior. The honeymoon period was well and truly finished. They want to whine and cry. Anna and Devon threw French fries at one another when we stopped for lunch. And then they whined because they ran out of French fries. Roxy gave up on the princess movie she was watching and refused to watch it anymore, and then she refused to watch anything else. And now…now they’re all screaming.

While I’m stopped at a light, Mick climbs across the back seats until he’s in the seat next to me. He runs his hands through his hair and gives it a yank. “So, whose idea was this again?” he asks.

“I’m pretty sure our parents came up with this one.”

“Well, if they were hoping to use these kids as birth control, it’s totally working.”

I snort. “Kind of makes you want a vasectomy, doesn’t it?”

Mick winces. “I’m sorry,” he says. “That was a thoughtless comment. I didn’t mean… About kids… That was thoughtless.” He stops and groans, his head back against the seat in surrender.

I laugh. “It’s okay. I know exactly what you meant.” I drop my voice down to a whisper. “To be quite honest, my hoo-ha is putting up ‘no trespassing’ signs right about now.”

He breathes out very quietly, “Oh my God…”

“What?” I glance over at him.

“You just called it a hoo-ha. Are you twelve?” He scrubs a hand down his face.

“Would you rather I used the P word?”

“I’d rather you didn’t talk about your hoo-ha at all.”

I glance over at him and find him staring hard at me. “Okay…” I say slowly. “I thought we were joking about kids and…all that.”

“We were,” he clips out.

“Then why are you being such a shit?”

“Because I work really hard to keep the P word out of my head when it comes to you. Because BFFs aren’t supposed to even think about the P word. You’re supposed to be, like, asexual.”

I snort. “I can assure you that I’m far from asexual.”

“You are?”

“Well, yeah. I like sex as much as the next person.”

“Oh, God,” he whines.

“Now you sound like one of the kids. What is wrong with you?” I hiss at him.

“You used the P word and now all I can think about is the P word!” he hisses back. He looks quickly to the back seat, but the kids are busy yelling at one another, so they’re not listening.

“The P word, that’s what you’re thinking about right now? Specifically, my P word?”

“Yes, the P word. The only P word that matters.”

“A lot of P words matter.” I grin at him.

“Not as much as that one does. Particularly when it’s yours.”

A hot silence fills the van.

“I know a lot of P words!” Anna calls out from way in the back.

“Oh, good!” Mick calls back. “Let’s play a game and think of all the words we can find that start with P!”

“Pumpkin!” Devon yells.

They go back and forth until they start screaming about who used the word pickle first.

“I think we should find a room for the night,” Mick says.

“Yes, please,” I say with a groan. “Maybe something with a pool. We could take them swimming in the morning and wear them out.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun!” Mick rubs his hands together with excitement.

We find a hotel and Mick goes in to register us. “Let’s get our bags, guys,” I say. Then the screaming starts as I try to get the two youngest kids out of their car seats. I hoist one onto each hip.

“I’m hungry!” Anna yells.

“I’m starving!” Devon yells back.

“I’m hungrier than you are,” Anna says.

Mick comes back outside carrying a key card. “Well, I’m hungrier than all of you,” Mick calls out as he pretends to bite a hunk out of Anna and Devon. He smacks his lips together. “You taste like…chicken!”

Anna laughs and the kids each grab a bag. Mick gets the two portable cribs and I slam the door of the van shut with my hip.

“What about me?” I whisper to Mick as we walk across the parking lot. A shiver runs down my spine.

“What about you?” he whispers back.

“What do I taste like?”

His eyes darken ever so subtly. “You taste like fifty or sixty years of commitment.”

“You could get a shorter sentence if you committed murder.”

He laughs as he opens the door of the small suite he reserved. We drop the bags and Mick flops down on the small sofa.

“I’m hungry,” Anna and Devon whine in unison.

Mick pops back up. “I’ll go get some dinner.”

I start a bath for the kids, because my sisters’ kids always calm down when there’s water. I still can’t figure that one out, but it works.

“Is there anything special I can get for you?” Mick asks me.

“I’ve been stuck in a car with four children and you for about forty-eight hours. If you don’t come back with ice cream, don’t come back at all.” I shoot him a heated glance.

“Did I ever say thank you for doing this for me?” he asks quietly, staring down at me.

“You can thank me with ice cream,” I shoot back, and then I go into the bathroom with Anna and the babies so I can wash Anna’s hair.

“Anything else?” he calls out.

I stick my head back out the door and glance toward the double bed I assume we’ll be sharing. The kids will be in the other bedroom, and the two portable cribs will go in the sitting area. I look at him and look toward the bed again. “Anything else you think we might need, you should get,” I say.

Then I go into the bathroom and wait until I hear the door of the hotel room click shut. Then I let out the breath I’ve been holding almost since we got out of the car.